"Wow, what a trip," said Aragorn exasperated. "I need aspirin or
something..."
"Here try this. It's called Bengay," Legolas said.
"Will it help?"
"Who knows..."
"Did someone call my name?" asked the truly terrifying Lord of Darkness in
his new human form, which was BEN AFFLECK!
"Oh my Gala...word! It is HIM! Run for your lives!"
Gimli gave Aragorn a smile and big thumbs up for not using Galadriel's name in vain as you read about in chapter one.
After running for miles, they are lost in the middle of nowhere. "I think we lost him, but we also got ourselves lost in the process." Said Legolas catching his breath. "Yes. Indeed we are lost. Gimli, take out the map. We must head to Gondor and get some aid. Our other comrades are probably already there," Aragorn also said between breaths. "OK," Gimli replied.
Gimli then pulls out an etch a sketch. "What is that," inquired Aragorn. "It's an etch a sketch," said Gimli shortly. "I lost the real map, but luckily I had it drawn it on this before I lost it. Uh oh... It seems while we were running that the etch a sketch erased..." "..." "Wait!" cried Legolas. "I know where we are! Tell me...what do you see over there?"
Aragorn put on a confused expression. Well made a confused impression because you can't put on an expression really. It's not like a mask or anything. Back to our topic... Then he got what Legolas meant. "It's a giant letter G! We're in Gondor!"
"YAY," yelled everyone. After traveling many leagues...
"What's a league?" "What?" "What IS a league?" "It's a...well...ummm..." "You don't know..." "Yes I do!" "No you don't" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No" "N-I mean Yes!" "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No"
After debating for several hours, the two authors finally killed each other and was replaced by me.
Anyway, after traveling many leagues... What's a league? What? What IS a league? It's a...well...ummm... You don't know... Yes I do! No you don't Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Draws a sword Yes Draws a gun No Draws bigger gun Yes Draws even bigger gun No Draws a bazooka Yes Draws a missile launcher No Draws tank Ha! My drawing of a tank looks so much better. I win! OH YA!? They go on and kill each other with paper cuts. Yes it's possible because you could lose too much blood and die.
Hi folks! It's me, the assistant's assistant to the author. No one's left except for my friend and me. So anyway, we get to write the story. (Sorry about the lack of quotations. We used so many that there were budget cuts.)
So after traveling many leagues... What's a league? What It's a...well...ummm... You don't know... Yes I do! No you don't Yes No Yes No (Repeats the last 4 pages of the script)
Hi! It's Aragorn. Since the authors are all dead... We're not dead! Yes! No! Yes! No! Wait! We're not going through this again! Yes, we are No, we're not Yes No Yes No SHUT UP ALREADY! Professor Tolkien! It's such an honor! Just get on with the stupid story! NOW! Yes, sir!
"It's a giant letter G! We're in Gondor!" (By the way, the original authors are back in control.)
"We'll head for Mordor over there. We might be able to find information on Sauron's weakness there, but first we meet with our friends.
They managed to get to Denethor's kingdom where they met with Gandalf, Boromir, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin. Boromir was now the new ruler of Gondor and Faramir was probably still lost somewhere in Fangorn Forest. All of them spoke for a while.
"It is now harder to get to Mordor than before. Hey that rhymes! I could become a rapper! Yo yo what's in the hood?" said Gandalf.
"... Why is that?" everyone asked ignoring him about the rapping.
"First off there is a mysterious trap to get past. Then there is a cursed place recently built called Minas Cinema. I heard there is an enchantment called Move E although I don't know what it does."
"But we must go no matter the cost."
"It seems I cannot change your mind so let's be off!"
They all took off traveling many leagues. A league, I looked up, means a measure of distance, usually about three miles. Anyway, they traveled many leagues and made it to Mordor.
Aragorn was confused. "Am I crazy or do I see four doors straight ahead?"
"I see it too," replied Gandalf. "It's the door trap to Minas Cinema. We can only choose one of these four doors."
"I say the third one. It's always the third one in the movies."
"Yes, I suppose you're right."
Aragorn went ahead and opened the door only to find another door behind it. Everyone at the time was ducking thinking Aragorn would be blown to smithereens, but after hearing nothing they looked up. Aragorn opened that door too only to find yet another door.
"I guess that's how they got the name 'Mordor'" Legolas sighed.
"Makes sense I guess..." Gimli also sighed.
"I got it!" Aragorn cried.
After opening one hundred eighty-seven doors, they made it into Minas Cinema. "I feel sick," said Aragorn, Legolas, and Gandalf simultaneously. They all started changing. Gandalf still looked the same pretty much except he magically got a pair of moon-rimmed spectacles. Also replacing his staff was a wand. He was Dumbledore! Aragorn transformed into Hidalgo and, Legolas changed into Will Turner. (Pirates of the Carribean) Ahhhhh! OK. It's not THAT bad. In fact it's pretty cool, but still we all prefer still regular Aragorn, Legolas, and Gandalf. Gimli, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, which we haven't mentioned in a while, came and transformed about halfway through the cave. (I guess it works slower on midgets. Just kidding, guys!) They all started looking dwarvish, except Gimli because he is a dwarf. What was most peculiar was their personality changes. Frodo became shy and kept constantly blushing(Bashful), Sam wouldn't talk and had a dumb expression on(Dopey), Merry sounded as if he were drunk(Happy), Pippin kept sneezing his head off(Sneezer like that's really hard...), and Gimli became frustrated with every little thing that happened(Grumpy). Even with all this, they made it through the end towards the final door.. Aragorn opened it, hoping there wasn't another door behind it, and found a fairy. The fairy told them its name was Navi.
"Wait. THE Navi!? No wonder I could never find you in hose Zelda games!" Aragorn cried.
Suddenly Link walks in. "I go halfway around the world, and two realms, and you're not even in the right place!? I'm surrounded by amateurs!" yells Link angrily stomping off. Before they left they at least got information. "To defeat this Ben Affleck fellow, you must find the Almighty Paparazzi. They are the only ones capable of that. If that fails, take this Aragorn and use it." Navi whispers in Aragorn's ear and hands him something that noone can see and slips it in his cloak.
The company continued through several more doors. (Haha get it? More Door is Mordor? Man, we hate puns...) On the way they saw Luke Skywalker fighting Darth Vader, Neo fighting with someone who looked surprisingly like Elrond, and Mario fighting Bowser
"Neo! Use the force! Don't forget, you can grab Bowser's tail and swing him around!" shouted Legolas. Gandalf slapped him one.
They left Minas Cinema and started in search of the Holy Paparazzi. Oh! If you're wondering if that was Elrond back there, it was. He was thinking he would go alone to search for Navi to not involve others in the peril. He got struck by the enchantment when Neo flies up out of nowhere. He was thinking when he saw Gandalf and everyone, "Why aren't they coming to help me!? Some idiot named Neo, who claims he's the One, is kicking the crap out of me! Help!" Of course it was useless to talk because of the intense fighting.
Gimli gave Aragorn a smile and big thumbs up for not using Galadriel's name in vain as you read about in chapter one.
After running for miles, they are lost in the middle of nowhere. "I think we lost him, but we also got ourselves lost in the process." Said Legolas catching his breath. "Yes. Indeed we are lost. Gimli, take out the map. We must head to Gondor and get some aid. Our other comrades are probably already there," Aragorn also said between breaths. "OK," Gimli replied.
Gimli then pulls out an etch a sketch. "What is that," inquired Aragorn. "It's an etch a sketch," said Gimli shortly. "I lost the real map, but luckily I had it drawn it on this before I lost it. Uh oh... It seems while we were running that the etch a sketch erased..." "..." "Wait!" cried Legolas. "I know where we are! Tell me...what do you see over there?"
Aragorn put on a confused expression. Well made a confused impression because you can't put on an expression really. It's not like a mask or anything. Back to our topic... Then he got what Legolas meant. "It's a giant letter G! We're in Gondor!"
"YAY," yelled everyone. After traveling many leagues...
"What's a league?" "What?" "What IS a league?" "It's a...well...ummm..." "You don't know..." "Yes I do!" "No you don't" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No" "N-I mean Yes!" "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No" "Yes" "No"
After debating for several hours, the two authors finally killed each other and was replaced by me.
Anyway, after traveling many leagues... What's a league? What? What IS a league? It's a...well...ummm... You don't know... Yes I do! No you don't Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Yes No Draws a sword Yes Draws a gun No Draws bigger gun Yes Draws even bigger gun No Draws a bazooka Yes Draws a missile launcher No Draws tank Ha! My drawing of a tank looks so much better. I win! OH YA!? They go on and kill each other with paper cuts. Yes it's possible because you could lose too much blood and die.
Hi folks! It's me, the assistant's assistant to the author. No one's left except for my friend and me. So anyway, we get to write the story. (Sorry about the lack of quotations. We used so many that there were budget cuts.)
So after traveling many leagues... What's a league? What It's a...well...ummm... You don't know... Yes I do! No you don't Yes No Yes No (Repeats the last 4 pages of the script)
Hi! It's Aragorn. Since the authors are all dead... We're not dead! Yes! No! Yes! No! Wait! We're not going through this again! Yes, we are No, we're not Yes No Yes No SHUT UP ALREADY! Professor Tolkien! It's such an honor! Just get on with the stupid story! NOW! Yes, sir!
"It's a giant letter G! We're in Gondor!" (By the way, the original authors are back in control.)
"We'll head for Mordor over there. We might be able to find information on Sauron's weakness there, but first we meet with our friends.
They managed to get to Denethor's kingdom where they met with Gandalf, Boromir, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin. Boromir was now the new ruler of Gondor and Faramir was probably still lost somewhere in Fangorn Forest. All of them spoke for a while.
"It is now harder to get to Mordor than before. Hey that rhymes! I could become a rapper! Yo yo what's in the hood?" said Gandalf.
"... Why is that?" everyone asked ignoring him about the rapping.
"First off there is a mysterious trap to get past. Then there is a cursed place recently built called Minas Cinema. I heard there is an enchantment called Move E although I don't know what it does."
"But we must go no matter the cost."
"It seems I cannot change your mind so let's be off!"
They all took off traveling many leagues. A league, I looked up, means a measure of distance, usually about three miles. Anyway, they traveled many leagues and made it to Mordor.
Aragorn was confused. "Am I crazy or do I see four doors straight ahead?"
"I see it too," replied Gandalf. "It's the door trap to Minas Cinema. We can only choose one of these four doors."
"I say the third one. It's always the third one in the movies."
"Yes, I suppose you're right."
Aragorn went ahead and opened the door only to find another door behind it. Everyone at the time was ducking thinking Aragorn would be blown to smithereens, but after hearing nothing they looked up. Aragorn opened that door too only to find yet another door.
"I guess that's how they got the name 'Mordor'" Legolas sighed.
"Makes sense I guess..." Gimli also sighed.
"I got it!" Aragorn cried.
After opening one hundred eighty-seven doors, they made it into Minas Cinema. "I feel sick," said Aragorn, Legolas, and Gandalf simultaneously. They all started changing. Gandalf still looked the same pretty much except he magically got a pair of moon-rimmed spectacles. Also replacing his staff was a wand. He was Dumbledore! Aragorn transformed into Hidalgo and, Legolas changed into Will Turner. (Pirates of the Carribean) Ahhhhh! OK. It's not THAT bad. In fact it's pretty cool, but still we all prefer still regular Aragorn, Legolas, and Gandalf. Gimli, Frodo, Sam, Merry, and Pippin, which we haven't mentioned in a while, came and transformed about halfway through the cave. (I guess it works slower on midgets. Just kidding, guys!) They all started looking dwarvish, except Gimli because he is a dwarf. What was most peculiar was their personality changes. Frodo became shy and kept constantly blushing(Bashful), Sam wouldn't talk and had a dumb expression on(Dopey), Merry sounded as if he were drunk(Happy), Pippin kept sneezing his head off(Sneezer like that's really hard...), and Gimli became frustrated with every little thing that happened(Grumpy). Even with all this, they made it through the end towards the final door.. Aragorn opened it, hoping there wasn't another door behind it, and found a fairy. The fairy told them its name was Navi.
"Wait. THE Navi!? No wonder I could never find you in hose Zelda games!" Aragorn cried.
Suddenly Link walks in. "I go halfway around the world, and two realms, and you're not even in the right place!? I'm surrounded by amateurs!" yells Link angrily stomping off. Before they left they at least got information. "To defeat this Ben Affleck fellow, you must find the Almighty Paparazzi. They are the only ones capable of that. If that fails, take this Aragorn and use it." Navi whispers in Aragorn's ear and hands him something that noone can see and slips it in his cloak.
The company continued through several more doors. (Haha get it? More Door is Mordor? Man, we hate puns...) On the way they saw Luke Skywalker fighting Darth Vader, Neo fighting with someone who looked surprisingly like Elrond, and Mario fighting Bowser
"Neo! Use the force! Don't forget, you can grab Bowser's tail and swing him around!" shouted Legolas. Gandalf slapped him one.
They left Minas Cinema and started in search of the Holy Paparazzi. Oh! If you're wondering if that was Elrond back there, it was. He was thinking he would go alone to search for Navi to not involve others in the peril. He got struck by the enchantment when Neo flies up out of nowhere. He was thinking when he saw Gandalf and everyone, "Why aren't they coming to help me!? Some idiot named Neo, who claims he's the One, is kicking the crap out of me! Help!" Of course it was useless to talk because of the intense fighting.