Just Another Face
How can I actually empathize? I do, I really do, and that is what I don't understand.
They grew up together. Potter and Black, the perfect duo. From crib mates to classmates, they've shared everything together. Who am I to know, you ask? I'm sorry. I've started completely wrong, bouncing here to there and never staying on a subject long enough to make sense...
Hello. My name is Remus J. Lupin, I am a seventeen year old werewolf and hey, thanks to my friends, I'm not quite mad yet. What? Oh, no, that wasn't madness, I always tend to ramble. Can't keep my thoughts straight, you know? Especially when I've got something to mull over. Or when I'm plotting pranks.
Yes, yes, I'm that Remus Lupin...don't leave, I swear I'm not dangerous. I am alone, after all. It's funny that you run not because I'm a werewolf, but because I'm a notorious prankster. Oh the irony. Anyway, I tend to be more docile on my own, I'm sure you've heard that as well. You have, have you? Good, now to my musings.
They look like brothers, but that's not the least of it. It's like they're one person, split in two...shut up, I know that I should've just said 'twins' because technically, twins are one person split in two, but it sounded more dramatic, alright? And real. Which is what their bond is. Real, I mean, cast in the most indestructible materials.
There was the time Sirius couldn't stop that bludger and James got a nice crack on the head...hmm, maybe that's what's wrong with him...nope, always been like that, even before the bludger...anyways, poor Sirius never left his bedside and let me tell you, James was out for a bloody frigging week! He'd looked terrible, Sirius I mean, like he'd been told that Voldemort was his other half in a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde fashion and he spent nights he'd thought he'd blacked out during, actually killing and smiting everyone in sight. Pretty bad, huh? I was worried about him then, which was a lot of worrying on top of worrying about James. But he got better and Sirius got over it and everything was normal again.
And then there was the time when James thought Sirius had drowned when he was actually skinny dipping with that Moore girl, and James, the bloody idiot, swam around for hours searching for him, for some reason telling himself that his best friend was alive. Boy, was he alive and he got the cold shoulder for three days! Only three, you say, what's the big deal, right? These boys can't be mad at each other for five whole seconds, and there's 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and three days in a row...well, not three whole days but we're approximating here. You do the math.
It's hard to describe how they are together, you'd have to experience it. Don't give me that frightened look; they're not the terrors you believe they are. At least, not all the time.
Inseparable. There's a good word for those two. Where you find one, the other is not far behind. It's amazing, really, the relationship they have, the love, the trust, the loyalty, the fierce protectiveness...
What was that? Oh yes, that is true, there are four Marauders, not bloody two, stop confusing my meaning. Of course Pete and I are Marauders, have been for seven years and will be until we die. But being a Marauder is not what holds James and Sirius together, James and Sirius hold the Marauder's together, each in their own way. They both brought someone into the circle, like a lackey, almost. Not that I'm demeaning my role in the group, trust me all the good pranks with absolutely no culprits...those were all me, baby.
James brings his sense of humor and joy to the group, always up for anything, scared of nothing but fear. He brought Peter in, kind of took him under his wing, so to speak, like a person nursing a sick animal back to health. Peter adores him beyond comparison and I can see why. James is the classic hero. He can't help it, it's who he is. He is everyone's protector, everyone's friend, everyone's go-to guy.
Sirius is the fire, the passion for life, the reckless thrill-taker who drives the group, pushes for more, always more. I don't believe Sirius has ever had a dull moment in his life. When he feels bored, that's all either James or I hear about until we entertain him, but then consider that he finds entertainment in bugging the bollocks out of both of us until we're as mad and deranged as he. Therefore, he is never bored for a single second.
Sirius chose to bring me in and I know why. It was a mix of logic, fascination and pure defiance of the bars fate has caged my life in. I was a bit of an introvert, if you were. There is his challenge. I'm pretty brilliant sometimes, if I do say so myself and there in lies his logic. As for fascination? I'm an enigma, he says. A mystery. Something so intricate he's constantly fighting to understand me. I think this is where his madness comes into play, and I tell him so every time he tells me I'm a mystery.
Sirius loves mystery. Therefore, I can't be a mystery, because Sirius will never love me. He couldn't. Not the way he loves James and not the way I love him. But I'm sure you didn't need to know that, did you? Back to our group dynamics, I know I'm rambling, but stay with me.
No matter that they both brought in two outsiders, no matter we were accepted by the others, no matter that we carry the Marauder name and association. We are still outsiders, and for James and Sirius, they make each others worlds.
Not romantically, god, you misunderstand me! And stop that swooning, they would NOT be cute together, not like that. Excuse me while I lose my lunch, and I'm not saying that just because I like one of the schmucks. They're like brothers, like blood, and if you were around them, you'd understand my revulsion, trust me.
Like I said, they're inseparable. At least, they were...until Lily and James started dating and suddenly it was like they WEREN'T attached at the hip. Some people had actually believed that they were conjoined twins and boy, were they shocked. Sirius is taking their new infatuation a lot worse than anyone expected. Well, I saw it coming but how could I have stopped it?
James is never around much anymore. He is so wrapped up in Lily I'm surprised he has time for our weekly Marauder meetings, his Quidditch practices, his lunch!
Sirius is handling the separation hard. He pines for James, sits in quiet jealousy, completely depressed and fractured, like James is a piece of him that he's lost forever. And maybe he has lost the James of before and things will be different. Sirius doesn't do change well.
And the thing is, I empathize. He knows that he will never mean as much to James as Lily does in one moment and that kills him. Just as I sit here, surrounded by a whole common room of people but also alone. Alone, and knowing that I will never mean as much to him as James forever will. And still, I empathize. And it kills me.
There we go, a nice bit of angst, I got inspired, yeah? So what do you think? Might do a companion piece for some of the others, I liked this style...its fun to do when you're usually doing third person. I know its short, but I went where it took me.
And for all of you curious people, all of my stories are in progress, abandonment is not an option. However, I have met many road blocks, I'm working on it, I swear. Please keep checking back every now and then!
Love from the author.
How can I actually empathize? I do, I really do, and that is what I don't understand.
They grew up together. Potter and Black, the perfect duo. From crib mates to classmates, they've shared everything together. Who am I to know, you ask? I'm sorry. I've started completely wrong, bouncing here to there and never staying on a subject long enough to make sense...
Hello. My name is Remus J. Lupin, I am a seventeen year old werewolf and hey, thanks to my friends, I'm not quite mad yet. What? Oh, no, that wasn't madness, I always tend to ramble. Can't keep my thoughts straight, you know? Especially when I've got something to mull over. Or when I'm plotting pranks.
Yes, yes, I'm that Remus Lupin...don't leave, I swear I'm not dangerous. I am alone, after all. It's funny that you run not because I'm a werewolf, but because I'm a notorious prankster. Oh the irony. Anyway, I tend to be more docile on my own, I'm sure you've heard that as well. You have, have you? Good, now to my musings.
They look like brothers, but that's not the least of it. It's like they're one person, split in two...shut up, I know that I should've just said 'twins' because technically, twins are one person split in two, but it sounded more dramatic, alright? And real. Which is what their bond is. Real, I mean, cast in the most indestructible materials.
There was the time Sirius couldn't stop that bludger and James got a nice crack on the head...hmm, maybe that's what's wrong with him...nope, always been like that, even before the bludger...anyways, poor Sirius never left his bedside and let me tell you, James was out for a bloody frigging week! He'd looked terrible, Sirius I mean, like he'd been told that Voldemort was his other half in a Dr. Jekyll/Mr. Hyde fashion and he spent nights he'd thought he'd blacked out during, actually killing and smiting everyone in sight. Pretty bad, huh? I was worried about him then, which was a lot of worrying on top of worrying about James. But he got better and Sirius got over it and everything was normal again.
And then there was the time when James thought Sirius had drowned when he was actually skinny dipping with that Moore girl, and James, the bloody idiot, swam around for hours searching for him, for some reason telling himself that his best friend was alive. Boy, was he alive and he got the cold shoulder for three days! Only three, you say, what's the big deal, right? These boys can't be mad at each other for five whole seconds, and there's 60 seconds in a minute, 60 minutes in an hour, 24 hours in a day, and three days in a row...well, not three whole days but we're approximating here. You do the math.
It's hard to describe how they are together, you'd have to experience it. Don't give me that frightened look; they're not the terrors you believe they are. At least, not all the time.
Inseparable. There's a good word for those two. Where you find one, the other is not far behind. It's amazing, really, the relationship they have, the love, the trust, the loyalty, the fierce protectiveness...
What was that? Oh yes, that is true, there are four Marauders, not bloody two, stop confusing my meaning. Of course Pete and I are Marauders, have been for seven years and will be until we die. But being a Marauder is not what holds James and Sirius together, James and Sirius hold the Marauder's together, each in their own way. They both brought someone into the circle, like a lackey, almost. Not that I'm demeaning my role in the group, trust me all the good pranks with absolutely no culprits...those were all me, baby.
James brings his sense of humor and joy to the group, always up for anything, scared of nothing but fear. He brought Peter in, kind of took him under his wing, so to speak, like a person nursing a sick animal back to health. Peter adores him beyond comparison and I can see why. James is the classic hero. He can't help it, it's who he is. He is everyone's protector, everyone's friend, everyone's go-to guy.
Sirius is the fire, the passion for life, the reckless thrill-taker who drives the group, pushes for more, always more. I don't believe Sirius has ever had a dull moment in his life. When he feels bored, that's all either James or I hear about until we entertain him, but then consider that he finds entertainment in bugging the bollocks out of both of us until we're as mad and deranged as he. Therefore, he is never bored for a single second.
Sirius chose to bring me in and I know why. It was a mix of logic, fascination and pure defiance of the bars fate has caged my life in. I was a bit of an introvert, if you were. There is his challenge. I'm pretty brilliant sometimes, if I do say so myself and there in lies his logic. As for fascination? I'm an enigma, he says. A mystery. Something so intricate he's constantly fighting to understand me. I think this is where his madness comes into play, and I tell him so every time he tells me I'm a mystery.
Sirius loves mystery. Therefore, I can't be a mystery, because Sirius will never love me. He couldn't. Not the way he loves James and not the way I love him. But I'm sure you didn't need to know that, did you? Back to our group dynamics, I know I'm rambling, but stay with me.
No matter that they both brought in two outsiders, no matter we were accepted by the others, no matter that we carry the Marauder name and association. We are still outsiders, and for James and Sirius, they make each others worlds.
Not romantically, god, you misunderstand me! And stop that swooning, they would NOT be cute together, not like that. Excuse me while I lose my lunch, and I'm not saying that just because I like one of the schmucks. They're like brothers, like blood, and if you were around them, you'd understand my revulsion, trust me.
Like I said, they're inseparable. At least, they were...until Lily and James started dating and suddenly it was like they WEREN'T attached at the hip. Some people had actually believed that they were conjoined twins and boy, were they shocked. Sirius is taking their new infatuation a lot worse than anyone expected. Well, I saw it coming but how could I have stopped it?
James is never around much anymore. He is so wrapped up in Lily I'm surprised he has time for our weekly Marauder meetings, his Quidditch practices, his lunch!
Sirius is handling the separation hard. He pines for James, sits in quiet jealousy, completely depressed and fractured, like James is a piece of him that he's lost forever. And maybe he has lost the James of before and things will be different. Sirius doesn't do change well.
And the thing is, I empathize. He knows that he will never mean as much to James as Lily does in one moment and that kills him. Just as I sit here, surrounded by a whole common room of people but also alone. Alone, and knowing that I will never mean as much to him as James forever will. And still, I empathize. And it kills me.
There we go, a nice bit of angst, I got inspired, yeah? So what do you think? Might do a companion piece for some of the others, I liked this style...its fun to do when you're usually doing third person. I know its short, but I went where it took me.
And for all of you curious people, all of my stories are in progress, abandonment is not an option. However, I have met many road blocks, I'm working on it, I swear. Please keep checking back every now and then!
Love from the author.