Forbidden Dreams
By Natsue Arishima
Twelve: Shame
He woke up to the sounds of light, muffled footsteps. Struggling up into a sitting position, Jiang Wei rubbed his eyes and squinted out of the open window. The night was cool and breezeless, and judging by the position of the moon, the strategist could tell that it was still around midnight.
Twisting around in his sheets, he jumped as he noticed a pair of glinting, violet eyes, shimmering with a dangerous aura near the edge of his bed. A hand was brought up to stifle his gasp of surprise.
Sima Yi...
The Wei strategist was staring at him with a mixture of lust and hatred. Jiang Wei shifted uncomfortably, a bad feeling sinking down to the pit of his stomach. Fear was coursing through his body, and he gave an involuntary shiver, wanting but not able to tear away from the intense gaze.
Sima Yi's voice was coated with sugary venom. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" he hissed, his hand tightening over Jiang Wei's mouth. Mahogany eyes widened. No... Please no...
"You leave Wei and come back with a new lover? I didn't think you'd do such a thing to me." A pale hand was brought up out of nowhere and Jiang Wei shut his eyes, his heart clenched and waiting for impact, surprise clouding his mind. Sima Yi knew... but... Please... Not Zhao Yun... Fear of losing his general erased his own shock. If Sima Yi for that matter wanted to hurt him, then he'd let them. As long as Zhao Yun was kept out of this...
He didn't feel any pain, or hear the contact of skin on skin. Instead, his head was forced upwards towards the pair of icy orbs. Sima Yi breathed, "You think I didn't know? I admit, it was a bit strange when you first came back, but I only thought that you were still a bit stunned with the previous events. However... I have my sources. Who is he?"
Jiang Wei swallowed, biting his lip.
"After this, though, he won't look at you again," Sima Yi hissed. "And what do you think he'll do once he meets you again, when he realizes what you've supposedly done? Do you think he'll crack? Commit suicide? Or... kill you instead?"
Jiang Wei's breath caught in his throat. What was going on? Zhao Yun wouldn't... and besides, who said he'd did anything wrong anyway? And Sima Yi didn't know who exactly, so... Zhao Yun would be safe.
Right?
'I have my sources...'
A sudden thought flashed through his mind. He knew that it was a crazy idea, but the other officer didn't really favor him... Perhaps it was some kind of revenge?
"Did Zhang He...?" he managed to gasp, not daring to meet those glittering eyes. If he had, he might have noticed the flicker of confusion.
"Don't bring him into this," Sima Yi hissed, dark hair sliding smoothly over a bare shoulder. "He's far more loyal than you are."
Without warning, Jiang Wei suddenly found himself pinned underneath the older man. "S-Sima Yi?" He was cut off by the other's mouth, and to his great irritation, he found that he couldn't move. Please, stop... Why are you doing this...?
He refused to respond, refused to move, and Sima Yi pulled back. His eyes were still dark, and he looked more satisfied than infuriated. "Stubborn as you are, you can't do anything to stop me, can you?" He let his breath wash over Jiang Wei's neck, teasing him. "And what do you think that special Shu officer will do? Hmm?"
The former Shu strategist tensed as he felt nimble fingers playing with his shirt. "You-" He was cut off by his own startled gasp as teeth bit sharply into his shoulder. Another one of those pale hands had drifted down to the top of his pants, and Jiang Wei could only give in as his body reacted to the manipulations.
But though his body had given up, his mind still screamed, and there was one only face flickering before his eyes.
It was a man, with thick, dark hair and dazzling emerald eyes.
Zhao Yun sat up suddenly, his unbound hair swirling freely around his shoulders. Rubbing his eyes, the Tiger General groaned, leaning back into the rapidly cooling blankets and closing lids over two matching orbs, telling himself over and over again that sleep was a necessity right now.
But... something was wrong. Very wrong. It was the same emotion he had felt on the night when Jiang Wei had disappeared. However, this time, it was combined with pain, frustration and shame.
Something was wrong.
His mind wouldn't let him drift off into blissful unconsciousness, so Zhao Yun gave up and staggered to his feet, pulling up his hair in the process. Amazingly enough, he was almost entirely awake. Stretching out several sore spots in his arms, the general frowned for a moment before heading towards two familiar voices.
Gradually, the pale, flickering light of a fire washed over him and Zhao Yun followed the source, careful not to make any sounds to awake the surrounding, resting officers. Faint murmurs were growing louder now, and he slowly stepped around a clump of trees.
Guan Yu and Huang Gai.
They were sitting on opposite sides of the fire, both pairs of eyes reflecting the burning flame. Zhao Yun hesitated, just outside the ring of light. The two of them looked impressive; silent, bold silhouettes, acting so calm even at this hour of a soon to come war.
The bombardier of Wu suddenly spoke up. "You feel them, don't you?" His rough voice did not waver, even though his eyes gave away his nervousness.
The strongest Tiger General nodded, silent.
"Wei is clever. I fear something's coming."
Once again, a nod. Huang Gai sighed, his face suddenly becoming, if possible, more serious. "When you and Ma Chao took a scout of the surrounding area, what did you really see?"
At first, Zhao Yun didn't think that Guan Yu was going to answer. He was proven wrong, however, as the general's deep and comforting voice twisted around the fire.
"Wei scouts. They were planning an attack, just outside the gates of Xu Chang. I thought..." He trailed off before stroking his beard. "I thought if we somehow stalled our own army, Wei would be surprised and weaken their attack." His dark, bright eyes jumped up and locked onto the green orbs of Zhao Yun, who blinked and took a step backwards. Continuing to stare at him, Guan Yu continued, "I fear that plan was hopeless. Wei is near, I can sense it. With a strong force, too.
"If I could prove a help for Shu, I'd gladly give my life. It's not only that I want our fellow officer back safely, it's also that I feel it unjust of Wei for their previous actions. This bold and obtrusive behavior angers me - only my companions are allowed to act this way." The corners of the dark beard twitched.
"But I'm ready. If Wei should come soon, tomorrow even, I'd cover Liu Bei's back with my head held high. Because I know that our army has many powerful officers, some stronger than me, that can carry on protecting our lord. If I should die, I'll rest peacefully and with no regrets."
Zhao Yun stared and Guan Yu gave the slightest of bows in his direction. Because I know that our army has many powerful officers, some stronger than be, that can carry on protecting our lord... Very slowly, still in a state of shock, Zhao Yun stepped into the ring of light.
"General Guan Yu -"
"For Jiang Wei," the older man whispered, smiling.
Beside them, Huang Gai reached for some wine with the usual grumbles and curses. But his eyes were twinkling.
Shu... they were not to be underestimated.
"A strong speech, my friend. My only regret is to have not met you sooner..." The former Wu officer mused under his breath. There was no fear in his eyes - he had already planned out his final minutes of precious life. For his new friends, he'd gladly do it.
He hated himself.
His cheeks stained with un-stoppable tears, he continued scrubbing at his body until his skin was raw and pink. Even so, he still felt ashamed, dirty.
Thoughts of the previous night kept on flashing before his eyes, and he cursed himself for being so weak. He could have stopped it... he should have stopped it... But he hadn't. He had been too damn pathetic, too damn dependent.
Shutting his eyes, Jiang Wei let himself sink deeper into the water. Maybe, if he'd drowned... maybe then things would stop. But once again, he was afraid - afraid of losing his life, afraid to not be able to hear, see, touch, breathe. Love.
But then again, death would be peaceful. And in death, he wouldn't have to meet Zhao Yun. In death, he wouldn't have to admit. He wouldn't have to feel.
But why? Sima Yi had never been this cruel. So why start now? And... how could he have found out? Jiang Wei still had a slight suspicion about Zhang He, and it made since. Zhang He was constantly being ignored by a loved one.
Because of me...
Was he truly such a nuisance to everyone?
The fact that he existed... Everyone was in pain because of him. Zhao Yun, Sima Yi, Zhang He. Everyone was messed up in someway, lost, confused, loathed, loved, hated.
Why him?
Why was he the one that inflicted so much pain on his friends?
Was it some sort of stupid destiny?
Well then, he'd deny destiny.
Or at least try.
Not giving himself time to breathe, Jiang Wei ducked his head underwater, forcing himself to remain glued to the bottom surface. He could feel his air rapidly leaving him, and he speeded up the process by opening his mouth and watching the bubbles float to the surface of the water.
His vision became hazy and he shut his eyes. His lungs were protesting for air that he refused to give, and water was pressing in on him on all sides. So close...
A flash of green. Warmth against his body.
And he knew he couldn't do it.
With a shuddering gasp, he lunged out of the water, gulping down large amounts of precious air. He was such a coward... Such a useless, hopeless coward.
Not bothering to dry himself properly, Jiang Wei flung himself down onto the bed, which still had a lingering smell of sex. Wrinkling up his nose, he buried his face in his arms and shut his eyes.
"Why are you still haunting me, Zhao Yun?" he whispered. "Why won't you let me die...?"
The green eyes continued to stare down at him, and Jiang Wei dozed off into a fitful sleep.
There was an explosion to his right and his white stallion shrieked in fear, rearing up onto its hind legs. In front of him, Red Hare quivered, eyes white, but remained still. There was a flash as Blue Moon Dragon was brought down, shortly followed by Fierce Dragon, and two limp Wei soldiers collapsed onto the ground.
"Go!" Guan Yu urged, spinning his beautiful stallion around. Zhao Yun remained fixed to the spot. "No! I'm staying right here! I won't run, and you know it."
Jiang Wei...
Screams, blood, death. Sun Ce galloped past them, Da Qiao unmoving in his arms. Zhao Yun stared. Tears. The Little Conqueror was crying.
Liu Bei rode up, a gash in his arm. "I'm sorry, but we've no hope here. Retreat." When he was met by two pairs of determined eyes, his face flashed with anger. "Retreat! That's an order. I won't lose two of my officers now!" He pointed with his sword westward. "I'll expect to see you."
He was gone in seconds. Zhao Yun paused, debating. A sudden blast twisted him off of his horse and he rolled up quickly from the ground. His white stallion faded into the distance, galloping wildly in the direction that Liu Bei had gone.
Someone jumped down next to him and Zhao Yun looked up at Guan Yu. "Take my horse," he demanded, shoving Red Hare's reins into his hands.
The Little Dragon stood, shocked. There was a fire in Guan Yu's eyes, and Zhao Yun recalled their conversation last night.
"If I could prove a help for Shu, I'd gladly give my life..."
"No..." Zhao Yun whispered, and then louder. "No! Red Hare will only obey the strongest, and that's not me."
Roughly, he pushed the reins back into Guan Yu's hands, whose eyes flashed with anger. "I told you to take him!"
Nearby, a large group of soldiers burst out of the trees, and Guan Yu took his chance at the other's sudden shock.
Without warning, Zhao Yun found himself thrown against the red steed, his fingers tangled into the fiery mane. With a whinny at his master's command, Red Hare jumped into life, somehow swinging Zhao Yun onto his back.
"Wait! What? Guan Yu, dammit!" Zhao Yun cursed, turning back towards his friend. He yanked the wild mane harshly but the horse ignored him. Slowly, Guan Yu faded into the mist.
Panting heavily, the once proud Shu officer found that he could barely stand. Around him lay many lifeless bodies. Wearily, he shoved the blade of his weapon into the ground.
There was a crunch to the left and he spun around, gasping for air, as more soldiers headed towards him. Too many... and he was running out of strength.
Blood splattered into his beard as he swiped again. Losing his balance, he dropped onto his knees, his green battle outfit stained crimson. Footsteps surrounded him and he looked up.
Countless numbers of soldiers, dressed in blue and purple. He was surrounded.
His grip loosened on his blade.
Lord Liu Bei, Zhang Fei... I broke my promise. Forgive me, brothers.
There was a shrill whinny and something hard whipped his eyes. He automatically reached up for it - leather. Reins.
If that arrogant Zhao Yun had come back...
But no... it was a black horse, with blazing eyes and a proud head. He could only hold on limply as the steed rammed through the opposing soldiers, stunning most of them.
Whose horse...?
He was out of the thick ring of soldiers. In front of him was an empty, blood soaked battlefield. He was still alive.
Wearily, he twisted around in his seat. Eyes widened.
A glaring Huang Gai nodded to him, standing alone in the midst of Wei soldiers. Slowly, he unearthed a bomb from within his pouch.
"Don't-" Guan Yu stuttered, but his vision suddenly faltered.
He missed the sight of the burning inferno. And in the middle of it all, a smiling Wu officer, content at last.
By Natsue Arishima
Twelve: Shame
He woke up to the sounds of light, muffled footsteps. Struggling up into a sitting position, Jiang Wei rubbed his eyes and squinted out of the open window. The night was cool and breezeless, and judging by the position of the moon, the strategist could tell that it was still around midnight.
Twisting around in his sheets, he jumped as he noticed a pair of glinting, violet eyes, shimmering with a dangerous aura near the edge of his bed. A hand was brought up to stifle his gasp of surprise.
Sima Yi...
The Wei strategist was staring at him with a mixture of lust and hatred. Jiang Wei shifted uncomfortably, a bad feeling sinking down to the pit of his stomach. Fear was coursing through his body, and he gave an involuntary shiver, wanting but not able to tear away from the intense gaze.
Sima Yi's voice was coated with sugary venom. "It's been a while, hasn't it?" he hissed, his hand tightening over Jiang Wei's mouth. Mahogany eyes widened. No... Please no...
"You leave Wei and come back with a new lover? I didn't think you'd do such a thing to me." A pale hand was brought up out of nowhere and Jiang Wei shut his eyes, his heart clenched and waiting for impact, surprise clouding his mind. Sima Yi knew... but... Please... Not Zhao Yun... Fear of losing his general erased his own shock. If Sima Yi for that matter wanted to hurt him, then he'd let them. As long as Zhao Yun was kept out of this...
He didn't feel any pain, or hear the contact of skin on skin. Instead, his head was forced upwards towards the pair of icy orbs. Sima Yi breathed, "You think I didn't know? I admit, it was a bit strange when you first came back, but I only thought that you were still a bit stunned with the previous events. However... I have my sources. Who is he?"
Jiang Wei swallowed, biting his lip.
"After this, though, he won't look at you again," Sima Yi hissed. "And what do you think he'll do once he meets you again, when he realizes what you've supposedly done? Do you think he'll crack? Commit suicide? Or... kill you instead?"
Jiang Wei's breath caught in his throat. What was going on? Zhao Yun wouldn't... and besides, who said he'd did anything wrong anyway? And Sima Yi didn't know who exactly, so... Zhao Yun would be safe.
Right?
'I have my sources...'
A sudden thought flashed through his mind. He knew that it was a crazy idea, but the other officer didn't really favor him... Perhaps it was some kind of revenge?
"Did Zhang He...?" he managed to gasp, not daring to meet those glittering eyes. If he had, he might have noticed the flicker of confusion.
"Don't bring him into this," Sima Yi hissed, dark hair sliding smoothly over a bare shoulder. "He's far more loyal than you are."
Without warning, Jiang Wei suddenly found himself pinned underneath the older man. "S-Sima Yi?" He was cut off by the other's mouth, and to his great irritation, he found that he couldn't move. Please, stop... Why are you doing this...?
He refused to respond, refused to move, and Sima Yi pulled back. His eyes were still dark, and he looked more satisfied than infuriated. "Stubborn as you are, you can't do anything to stop me, can you?" He let his breath wash over Jiang Wei's neck, teasing him. "And what do you think that special Shu officer will do? Hmm?"
The former Shu strategist tensed as he felt nimble fingers playing with his shirt. "You-" He was cut off by his own startled gasp as teeth bit sharply into his shoulder. Another one of those pale hands had drifted down to the top of his pants, and Jiang Wei could only give in as his body reacted to the manipulations.
But though his body had given up, his mind still screamed, and there was one only face flickering before his eyes.
It was a man, with thick, dark hair and dazzling emerald eyes.
Zhao Yun sat up suddenly, his unbound hair swirling freely around his shoulders. Rubbing his eyes, the Tiger General groaned, leaning back into the rapidly cooling blankets and closing lids over two matching orbs, telling himself over and over again that sleep was a necessity right now.
But... something was wrong. Very wrong. It was the same emotion he had felt on the night when Jiang Wei had disappeared. However, this time, it was combined with pain, frustration and shame.
Something was wrong.
His mind wouldn't let him drift off into blissful unconsciousness, so Zhao Yun gave up and staggered to his feet, pulling up his hair in the process. Amazingly enough, he was almost entirely awake. Stretching out several sore spots in his arms, the general frowned for a moment before heading towards two familiar voices.
Gradually, the pale, flickering light of a fire washed over him and Zhao Yun followed the source, careful not to make any sounds to awake the surrounding, resting officers. Faint murmurs were growing louder now, and he slowly stepped around a clump of trees.
Guan Yu and Huang Gai.
They were sitting on opposite sides of the fire, both pairs of eyes reflecting the burning flame. Zhao Yun hesitated, just outside the ring of light. The two of them looked impressive; silent, bold silhouettes, acting so calm even at this hour of a soon to come war.
The bombardier of Wu suddenly spoke up. "You feel them, don't you?" His rough voice did not waver, even though his eyes gave away his nervousness.
The strongest Tiger General nodded, silent.
"Wei is clever. I fear something's coming."
Once again, a nod. Huang Gai sighed, his face suddenly becoming, if possible, more serious. "When you and Ma Chao took a scout of the surrounding area, what did you really see?"
At first, Zhao Yun didn't think that Guan Yu was going to answer. He was proven wrong, however, as the general's deep and comforting voice twisted around the fire.
"Wei scouts. They were planning an attack, just outside the gates of Xu Chang. I thought..." He trailed off before stroking his beard. "I thought if we somehow stalled our own army, Wei would be surprised and weaken their attack." His dark, bright eyes jumped up and locked onto the green orbs of Zhao Yun, who blinked and took a step backwards. Continuing to stare at him, Guan Yu continued, "I fear that plan was hopeless. Wei is near, I can sense it. With a strong force, too.
"If I could prove a help for Shu, I'd gladly give my life. It's not only that I want our fellow officer back safely, it's also that I feel it unjust of Wei for their previous actions. This bold and obtrusive behavior angers me - only my companions are allowed to act this way." The corners of the dark beard twitched.
"But I'm ready. If Wei should come soon, tomorrow even, I'd cover Liu Bei's back with my head held high. Because I know that our army has many powerful officers, some stronger than me, that can carry on protecting our lord. If I should die, I'll rest peacefully and with no regrets."
Zhao Yun stared and Guan Yu gave the slightest of bows in his direction. Because I know that our army has many powerful officers, some stronger than be, that can carry on protecting our lord... Very slowly, still in a state of shock, Zhao Yun stepped into the ring of light.
"General Guan Yu -"
"For Jiang Wei," the older man whispered, smiling.
Beside them, Huang Gai reached for some wine with the usual grumbles and curses. But his eyes were twinkling.
Shu... they were not to be underestimated.
"A strong speech, my friend. My only regret is to have not met you sooner..." The former Wu officer mused under his breath. There was no fear in his eyes - he had already planned out his final minutes of precious life. For his new friends, he'd gladly do it.
He hated himself.
His cheeks stained with un-stoppable tears, he continued scrubbing at his body until his skin was raw and pink. Even so, he still felt ashamed, dirty.
Thoughts of the previous night kept on flashing before his eyes, and he cursed himself for being so weak. He could have stopped it... he should have stopped it... But he hadn't. He had been too damn pathetic, too damn dependent.
Shutting his eyes, Jiang Wei let himself sink deeper into the water. Maybe, if he'd drowned... maybe then things would stop. But once again, he was afraid - afraid of losing his life, afraid to not be able to hear, see, touch, breathe. Love.
But then again, death would be peaceful. And in death, he wouldn't have to meet Zhao Yun. In death, he wouldn't have to admit. He wouldn't have to feel.
But why? Sima Yi had never been this cruel. So why start now? And... how could he have found out? Jiang Wei still had a slight suspicion about Zhang He, and it made since. Zhang He was constantly being ignored by a loved one.
Because of me...
Was he truly such a nuisance to everyone?
The fact that he existed... Everyone was in pain because of him. Zhao Yun, Sima Yi, Zhang He. Everyone was messed up in someway, lost, confused, loathed, loved, hated.
Why him?
Why was he the one that inflicted so much pain on his friends?
Was it some sort of stupid destiny?
Well then, he'd deny destiny.
Or at least try.
Not giving himself time to breathe, Jiang Wei ducked his head underwater, forcing himself to remain glued to the bottom surface. He could feel his air rapidly leaving him, and he speeded up the process by opening his mouth and watching the bubbles float to the surface of the water.
His vision became hazy and he shut his eyes. His lungs were protesting for air that he refused to give, and water was pressing in on him on all sides. So close...
A flash of green. Warmth against his body.
And he knew he couldn't do it.
With a shuddering gasp, he lunged out of the water, gulping down large amounts of precious air. He was such a coward... Such a useless, hopeless coward.
Not bothering to dry himself properly, Jiang Wei flung himself down onto the bed, which still had a lingering smell of sex. Wrinkling up his nose, he buried his face in his arms and shut his eyes.
"Why are you still haunting me, Zhao Yun?" he whispered. "Why won't you let me die...?"
The green eyes continued to stare down at him, and Jiang Wei dozed off into a fitful sleep.
There was an explosion to his right and his white stallion shrieked in fear, rearing up onto its hind legs. In front of him, Red Hare quivered, eyes white, but remained still. There was a flash as Blue Moon Dragon was brought down, shortly followed by Fierce Dragon, and two limp Wei soldiers collapsed onto the ground.
"Go!" Guan Yu urged, spinning his beautiful stallion around. Zhao Yun remained fixed to the spot. "No! I'm staying right here! I won't run, and you know it."
Jiang Wei...
Screams, blood, death. Sun Ce galloped past them, Da Qiao unmoving in his arms. Zhao Yun stared. Tears. The Little Conqueror was crying.
Liu Bei rode up, a gash in his arm. "I'm sorry, but we've no hope here. Retreat." When he was met by two pairs of determined eyes, his face flashed with anger. "Retreat! That's an order. I won't lose two of my officers now!" He pointed with his sword westward. "I'll expect to see you."
He was gone in seconds. Zhao Yun paused, debating. A sudden blast twisted him off of his horse and he rolled up quickly from the ground. His white stallion faded into the distance, galloping wildly in the direction that Liu Bei had gone.
Someone jumped down next to him and Zhao Yun looked up at Guan Yu. "Take my horse," he demanded, shoving Red Hare's reins into his hands.
The Little Dragon stood, shocked. There was a fire in Guan Yu's eyes, and Zhao Yun recalled their conversation last night.
"If I could prove a help for Shu, I'd gladly give my life..."
"No..." Zhao Yun whispered, and then louder. "No! Red Hare will only obey the strongest, and that's not me."
Roughly, he pushed the reins back into Guan Yu's hands, whose eyes flashed with anger. "I told you to take him!"
Nearby, a large group of soldiers burst out of the trees, and Guan Yu took his chance at the other's sudden shock.
Without warning, Zhao Yun found himself thrown against the red steed, his fingers tangled into the fiery mane. With a whinny at his master's command, Red Hare jumped into life, somehow swinging Zhao Yun onto his back.
"Wait! What? Guan Yu, dammit!" Zhao Yun cursed, turning back towards his friend. He yanked the wild mane harshly but the horse ignored him. Slowly, Guan Yu faded into the mist.
Panting heavily, the once proud Shu officer found that he could barely stand. Around him lay many lifeless bodies. Wearily, he shoved the blade of his weapon into the ground.
There was a crunch to the left and he spun around, gasping for air, as more soldiers headed towards him. Too many... and he was running out of strength.
Blood splattered into his beard as he swiped again. Losing his balance, he dropped onto his knees, his green battle outfit stained crimson. Footsteps surrounded him and he looked up.
Countless numbers of soldiers, dressed in blue and purple. He was surrounded.
His grip loosened on his blade.
Lord Liu Bei, Zhang Fei... I broke my promise. Forgive me, brothers.
There was a shrill whinny and something hard whipped his eyes. He automatically reached up for it - leather. Reins.
If that arrogant Zhao Yun had come back...
But no... it was a black horse, with blazing eyes and a proud head. He could only hold on limply as the steed rammed through the opposing soldiers, stunning most of them.
Whose horse...?
He was out of the thick ring of soldiers. In front of him was an empty, blood soaked battlefield. He was still alive.
Wearily, he twisted around in his seat. Eyes widened.
A glaring Huang Gai nodded to him, standing alone in the midst of Wei soldiers. Slowly, he unearthed a bomb from within his pouch.
"Don't-" Guan Yu stuttered, but his vision suddenly faltered.
He missed the sight of the burning inferno. And in the middle of it all, a smiling Wu officer, content at last.
A/N: Forgive me for another really really really really long delay. I had a bit of an issue with a writer's block. Sorry! So sorry! I was seriously thinking of discontinuing this fic, but after several emails, I'm back on track. And besides, it'd be a pity to stop when I've already gotten this far. But anyway, another chapter finally posted up. This fic is coming to an end soon... okay, maybe not if I feel like dragging it out, but the ending is very soon. snifflies Please R&R!
--Natsue Arishima