Title: Moving On
Author: Anaika Skywalker
Author's Email: lindsay30@austarnet.com.au
Rating: PG
Summery: Harm leaves JAG behind and returns to flying off an aircraft carrier, but can he leave behind the woman he loves?
Disclaimer: I don't own JAG; I just like to spread my wings occasionally.
Author's Note: This is the Harm/Mac version of my story Starting Over; it's pretty much the same except it now plays on the 'what if' this was how Harm and Mac got together. Kat and Josh are still featured, but their relationship is different. This centers on Harm and Mac, which is why I decided to give this a make over just for the shippers out there.
Moving OnChapter One: Starting Over
Harm hung his uniform up and gave it the once over; everything was in its place and ready for him to put on and walk back into JAG. So why did he feel like running in the opposite direction? Because he didn't belong there anymore, the Navy was where he wanted to be, but ever since the Admiral had offered him his job back he felt like he really didn't want to be at JAG or in their lives any more. In her life any more to be specific, she'd told him it wouldn't work even though he'd been willing to give it a try.
Hearing the knock on the door Harm left his bedroom and went to answer it, finding the Admiral outside. A part of him had secretly hoped it would have been her and a part of him was thankful it wasn't. "Good evening sir."
"Commander, can I come in?"
"Yes sir,"
AJ Chegwidden crossed the thresshold, his cover tucked under his arm. The folder he was carrying was becoming uncomfortable in his hands. This wasn't going to be easy but it was the right thing to do, the time had come.
Harm shut the door. "Can I get you anything sir?"
"No thank you. Sit down Commander, I have a proposition for you."
Curious Harm did so and the Admiral sat near by putting his cover on the coffee table. The folder he gave to the younger officer.
"What is this sir?"
"Your new orders, your designator has been changed back to thirteen ten, it's all complete and signed." AJ informed bluntly. "The SecNav had approved your transfer out of JAG."
Harm was surprised. "How did you know sir?"
"We've been through a lot Harm, and you know I don't condone what you did but I do understand why. I also knew you wouldn't be happy back at JAG, even though you were willing to come back," the Admiral told him. "So I called in a few favors, ones that will improve your career as well as your chance for promotion. The USS Ticonderoga needed a Cag and you're it. You're to report to her in forty-eight hours."
"Ticonderoga?"
"She's just been commissioned, I thought it appropriate to have a Rabb serve aboard her," AJ declared. "The Tyco Tigers are a squadron of young men and women who need a strong commanding officer, you Commander."
"Thank you sir." Harm said stunned and relieved.
"I'd like you to come by JAG in the morning and say goodbye, I know everyone would like to see you."
"I'm not sure sir."
"Son, they need to know you're all right."
Nodding Harm reluctantly agreed. "Yes sir."
AJ smiled sadly, Rabb had always been a fine officer. Losing him had been hard, but now he was losing him for good. "I'll see you tomorrow, son."
"Yes sir."
Seeing the younger man was still shocked by his announcement, AJ let himself out.
Harm went through the paper work the Admiral had given him, included was information on the squadron, their service records and fitness reports. Leaving it on the coffee table when he was finished he returned to his bedroom and changed insignias on his uniforms. He sorted out a few things before he was finished, checking the time when he had; he put a call through to his mother in La Jolla.
She was happy to hear from him. "How are you sweetheart?"
"I'm fine mom, I just received my orders."
His mother knew what was coming. "You're not going back to JAG, are you?"
"No. I'm reporting aboard the USS Ticonderoga as Cag in forty-eight hours."
"Oh Harm."
"I'll be fine mom."
"Are you sure about this, Harm?" Frank asked him, his mother had obviously put him on speaker.
"Yes. In a way I'm relieved. I didn't want to return to JAG."
"Why?" his mother asked him.
"I just feel I don't belong there any more Mom, I've changed. They've changed. I need to do this."
"As long as your sure, Harm."
"I am Mom."
"Be careful."
"I will Mom, I love you."
"I love you too, sweetheart."
He squeezed his eyes closed, and after a moment reopened them. He had to say this now while he felt he could, it was time. "Frank. Thank you."
"For what Harm?"
"For being there, even when I was being difficult. For being a father to me, even when I didn't want you to be."
"I wouldn't have been anywhere else Harm. I love you son."
"I love you too…Dad."
A heavy silence fell over them. Finally Frank spoke again his voice thick with emotion. "Make sure you keep in touch son."
"I will. By Mom, Dad."
"Bye Harm," both bided.
He hung up, feeling a weight had lifted off his shoulders. Now there was one more thing he had to do, grabbing his coat he left the apartment and drove to the Vietnam Memorial Wall, finding his fathers name. He touched the gold letters with his fingers. Keeping his voice low he spoke to his father. "I'm shipping out Dad, aboard the USS Ticonderoga, as Cag. The Admiral arranged it; he understands I need to be away from JAG. I don't belong there any more," he paused. "I've changed Dad, I hope for the best. I know you'd understand, the past five months haven't been easy and I need this. I need to start over. I wanted to talk to you about Frank, I know you would like him and would have wanted me to give him a chance to be a father to me. I guess I was too damn stubborn, but not any more." He paused again, hugging into his flight jacket. "I love you Dad, I'll make it back after this tour is over and tell you all about it. It seems funny me saying I'm serving aboard the Ticonderoga, Dad. I know she's not the same ship, but in a way I feel its fate another Rabb is serving on her. I have to go now Dad, I'll see you when I get home."
Turning Harm walked away from the wall, he started to drive home then changed directions half way. Ending up outside her apartment building, turning the engine off he just sat there. He could of gone up and saw her, told her of the decision, but he didn't. She'd made her chose and for now he was going to have to live with it and so was she. They needed time apart. Starting the car up he dove home, he still had packing to do and his apartment to get ready.
Morning came faster than he expected, in uniform once more, but wearing a line officers star insignia. Commander Harmon Rabb Junior walked into JAG ops for what could have been the last time.
Bud was the first to notice him. "Commander," the Lieutenant hurried as fast as he could with only one good leg. "Welcome back sir," he shook Harm's hand; in doing so he noticed the star. Confused. "You're not coming back, are you sir?"
"No Bud, I'm the new Cag aboard the USS Ticonderoga."
"Congratulations sir," Bud said trying to be happy.
"Thanks," he dug his hand into his pocket and pulled out a key. "I was wondering Bud, if you could keep and eye on my apartment while I'm away."
"I'd be honored sir,"
Harm handed him the key. "Thanks Bud."
Sturgis and Mac came into ops and saw Harm, the Commander hurried over to his friend, smiling. "Nice to have you back, Harm," he said cheerfully.
"I'm just here to say goodbye," Harm told him. "I'm reporting aboard the Ticonderoga in the morning." He saw the shock in Mac's eyes and the hurt, both he noticed she quickly covered up, just as he expected she would. He didn't feel guilty about this decision; it was time they moved on. Mac had made it plan and clear they couldn't have a relationship, so it was time and there would be no turning back.
"You're going back to flying?" Sturgis asked him.
"I'm reporting on board as the Cag," Harm informed. "Flying with the two seventeen, the Tyco Tigers."
"I wish you luck than Harm."
"Thanks Sturgis."
Coates and Tiner joined the group, as did a number of JAG staff, all hearing the news and wishing him well. All of them shocked by his decision not to return, they had just expected he would.
Admiral Chegwidden joined them. "Good to see you Commander come into my office."
"Yes sir." He followed him into the large office.
AJ gestured for him to sit down and when he had he sat across from him. "They're shocked by your announcement."
"I realize that sir, but this is something I need to do." Harm said sincerely.
AJ knew that. "They will come to except it as time passes." Well most will, he added to himself.
"Yes sir."
"If you ever need anything Harm, give me a call."
"I will sir."
AJ shook his hand after they stood. "Good luck Commander."
"Thank you sir."
"You're a hell of a good lawyer son, and I told Captain Garrett you'll be a damn good Cag."
"It's where I belong at the moment sir."
Nodding, AJ smiled warmly. "Dismissed Commander."
"Aye sir," he came to attention, than turned on his heal and left the office and out of the Admiral's chain of command. Seeing Mac was in hers, he went over and knocked. "Can I come in?"
She nodded and he did so, she didn't rise from her seat. She wasn't going to say goodbye the way she had last time. "Congratulations on your billet."
"Thank you," he felt bad they hadn't sort this all out before he left, but in the end it was for the best. They could never have the friendship they had before and she didn't want a relationship with him. He realized that last night, so that was it. "Take care Colonel."
"I will," she told him. Not moving, she'd cried enough tears when it came to Harmon Rabb Junior. To the mistakes she'd made concerning the two of them.
"Goodbye Sarah." Harm said softly and than turned and walked away. Out of JAG and out of their lives.
USS Ticonderoga
Adriatic Sea
Ensign Daniel Masters waited until the helio landed before approaching; the new Cag was on board. A Commander Harmon Rabb Junior. He nodded to the tall Commander. "Welcome aboard the Ticonderoga sir."
Harm glanced around, just by standing on the deck he felt he'd come home. "Thank you Ensign."
A crewman collected his belongings, which included his flight gear.
"This way sir," Ensign Masters insisted and the Commander followed him off the flight deck. He took him directly to the Captain's office.
Captain Ethan Garrett stood as the Commander came in with Masters. "Welcome aboard, Commander Rabb."
"Thank you sir."
"That's all Ensign."
"Aye sir," he acknowledged and left the office.
Harm sat on the Captain's insistence.
Garrett had started his career as a combat pilot and still flew when possible, so impressing him wasn't easy but Rabb had done it even before they'd met. "I read your service record Commander, it's very impressive."
"Thank you sir."
"Admiral Chegwidden also informed me your father flew off the first Ticonderoga during the Vietnam War."
"Yes sir, until he was shot down Christmas Eve 1969." Harm revealed.
Ethan Garrett sat back in his chair. "The Admiral spoke highly of you, Commander. He said you were a damn good lawyer and an exceptional aviator. What he didn't tell me Commander was why you're here?"
"Because this is where I belong, sir."
"Very well. I'll introduce you to the Tyco Tigers, the rest of the air wing will make themselves known," he stood and waited until Rabb had and they left together. "You flew with the Raptors, correct?"
"Yes sir."
"They're a good squadron."
"Yes sir they are."
They continued on to the ready room where the squadron was present, all quickly came to attention when both officers entered.
"At ease," Garrett told them. "This is Commander Harmon Rabb, your new Cag, call sign Hammer. I'll leave you to introduce yourselves," He turned to Rabb. "Commander when you're ready the squadron XO, Lieutenant O'Reilly will show you to your stateroom."
"Thank you sir."
Nodding, Garrett left the ready room.
A young woman in her mid to late twenties stepped forward, her dark red/brown hair was pulled back, her emerald green eyes were the brightest he'd ever seen. She was average in height, slim and very attractive, the type you'd expect to see on the cover of a fashion magazine. "Lieutenant Katherine O'Reilly sir."
Harm shook her hand, remembering reading briefly about her. Attractive or not, she'd would be treated equally, which was what she wanted. "Lieutenant," he saw each and every one of them was young and eager. "Sit down Tigers," he ordered and waited until they'd done so. "While I'm in Command of this squadron you can address me as Commander Rabb, Cag or Hammer. I expect you all to give one hundred percent, if you don't I want to know why. I'm not a hard taskmaster; we'll lean about each other as we go. Never be afraid to come to me if your having problems, or if you have a question. I don't bite, though I've been told I do growl infrequently and chew out the occasional six," He paused as they laughed nervously. "I meant what I said, I'm not a hard taskmaster and we will get to know each other as this tour progresses."
"Sir." Lieutenant O'Reilly got to her feet.
"Yes Lieutenant."
"Speaking on behalf of the Tyco Tigers sir, we're not afraid of hard work or hard taskmasters," she informed proudly. "We all joined the Navy to serve our country and we became aviators because its what we love to do. We also know we have a lot to learn, if you're willing, we will follow you, sir."
"I'm willing Lieutenant," he told her, impressed by her enthusiasm. "What do they call you O'Reilly?"
"Banshee, sir," she answered.
"Very well. From now on Banshee, when I fly. You fly my wing."
She was surprised and elated. "Aye sir."
"Sit down Lieutenant."
When she'd done so, Harm looked at each and every one of them and realized he'd made the right chose. This was where he belonged. If fate was to bring him back to Sarah Mackenzie, then so be it but for now he was home.
To be continued…. (Okay, so what did you think, I know it's pretty much the same as the first chapter of Starting Over and a few of the chapters will be as I get started. Except I'll either be adding or taking a few things out. So let me know what you think and if you think I should continue – AS)