Disclaimer: I do not own Full House or any of its characters.
Chapter Five
*Back to LA*
"Hey Deej," Stephanie greeted as she joined her older sister on the front porch at the Tanner household.
"Hey Steph," DJ returned the greeting, "In two hours we'll be leaving to LA."
"Yeah," Stephanie agreed, "I'm kinda ready to get away from all of this. Away from this house, full of memories of Uncle Jesse."
"I'm not ready to leave," DJ admitted, "I feel like I didn't do enough when I had the chance. I feel like I'm just leaving my family here to suffer while I go back to my safe house in LA. Away from all the memories."
"You feel bad about leaving?" Stephanie asked, amazed, "You are not the only adult in that house. Dad, Joey, Aunt Becky, they can handle Michelle, Nicky, and Alex."
"Yeah, but who's gonna take care of Dad, and Joey, and especially Aunt Becky?" DJ retaliated. She couldn't believe that she was talking to her sister, Stephanie, about this.
In DJ's mind Stephanie had always been the most selfish of the Tanner girls. She hated thinking that, but Stephanie usually only thought of herself and how it would affect her. DJ was surprised that Michelle didn't turn out more selfish than she did, she had been the youngest and for a long time had acted like the youngest.
"Michelle's great with confrontations like that," Stephanie pointed out to her sister. She knew that her sister considered her selfish and inconsiderate. And she felt selfish, but she also knew that she couldn't do it. She couldn't talk to her Aunt Becky the way DJ had done, or the twins the way Michelle had done. She had loved her Uncle Jesse as much as the other two, but she just couldn't tell others about that, or comfort them about it. It made her too nervous.
"I just hope Michelle can handle it," DJ muttered.
***
"So, are you gonna tell them today?" DJ pressed her aunt as she sat at the kitchen table with her. Becky looked at her and sighed.
"I think I should tell them when I'm ready, you can't pressure me into it," Becky told her, sounding like a two year old.
"Aunt Becky, when I first got pregnant with Laura I told you first and you practically forced me to tell everybody else in the family," DJ pointed out to her aunt, "I know that you're my aunt and that mostly gives you the right to boss me around, but in a case like this one, you're the one who needs to be told what to do, and you have to tell the rest of the family, especially since Uncle Jesse won't be around to help you raise this kid."
"I promise I'm gonna tell them," Becky said, "Besides, I can't keep it a secret from them forever, I mean, in a couple of months I'll start putting on weight and they'll figure it out."
"Just promise me you'll tell them, within a couple of days," DJ begged her.
"I can't do that Deej," Becky confessed, getting up from the table, "Jesse's gone, I can't tell them this, not yet, not while they're still grieving for Jesse."
She then got up and walked out of the room, leaving DJ to sit at the table by herself, totally lost on how to handle this. On how to handle anything.
***
"You ready honey?" Heath asked Stephanie when they were getting ready to leave for the airport.
"Heath, I feel bad," Stephanie muttered.
"What? Are you sick?" Heath asked, alarmed.
"No, I just ...," Stephanie started, then took a moment to try and figure out what to say. How was she supposed to say that she felt bad about being a bad person, about thinking of only herself, about wanting to get away from the family and back to LA, where the family would be overshadowed by Heath, by classes, by friends, by everything, "I just feel bad about not caring that I'm leaving my family. About wanting to leave my family and not wanting to support them through this hard time."
"Steph, nobody blames you for wanting to get away from it all," Heath soothed her, "Everybody tries to run away from their problems. You're not the only one. There is no doubt in any of the mind's of your family member's how much you loved your uncle, but everybody handles their problems differently. And you're not the only one who runs."
"Heath, I love you," Stephanie mumbled, leaning into him for a second, but not really giving him the impression that she understood and she felt better.
"I love you too Steph," Heath muttered, "Now, we've got a plane to catch."
***
"Bye dad," Stephanie said, hugging her dad, "I love you."
"Bye Steph," her dad said, "I love you too."
As the family made their traditional hugs and saying I love you all around everybody really dreaded DJ and Stephanie and their families and boyfriend getting on the plane. It would symbolize that Jesse was really gone. That he was going to be gone for the rest of their lives. That he wasn't just on a long business trip and would be getting back soon.
"Bye Nicky," DJ said, giving her favorite cousin an extra hug.
"Bye Deej," Nicky whispered. DJ smiled at him. Nicky had grown up so much. Too much, actually. But DJ could see as he got older he would become more and more like Uncle Jesse.
"Bye Alex," Stephanie said tearfully, also giving her favorite cousin an extra hug.
"Bye Steph," Alex said, in a monotone voice. Stephanie looked at him. In that moment she felt the most awful for leaving. She was leaving her cousin here to try and handle something that he couldn't handle.
"Bye Aunt Becky," DJ said, in tears, as she gave her final hug. Her aunt held her close.
"I promise," Becky whispered in her ear before she let her go, "Bye Deej."
"Bye Michelle," Stephanie said, also giving her final hug. Her sister held her. Stephanie knew that Michelle was giving her strength, telling her without words that it was going to be all right.
"Bye Stephanie," Michelle said, in a hoarse whisper. Stephanie pulled away.
The next thing they knew DJ, Steve, Laura, Stephanie, and Heath were aboard their planes and headed back to LA.
***
"This house just feels so empty," Michelle said loudly as they stepped back inside their house. The house was empty. No Stephanie, no DJ, no Laura. No Heath or Steve. But the thing about these absences was, they made the absence of Uncle Jesse so glaringly bright.
Danny came up behind his daughter and rubbed her shoulder. He knew how she felt. Michelle had been too young then, but this is how the house had felt after Danny's mom had left, when his wife had died. When they had been here the house had seemed so full. So full of life. Of love. Of, even, happiness.
Nicky walked past the rest of the family sitting there reminiscing about old times and went into the kitchen. Sad wasn't something he liked to be. Sad was something he tried to avoid. Sure, he was sad about his dad's death, but as long as he didn't think about it too much he could pretend that he was better. That his dad wasn't really there. He was gone on a long business trip.
Nicky knew Alex on the other hand would dwell on their father's death until he actually did become the more healthy twin, leaving Nicky to live in his world of denial and explanations. But to Nicky this was the best place to be. He didn't have to worry about people leaving him, like DJ, or people dying on him, like his dad.
***
Becky was in a hospital bed. She looked around her to see Stephanie, DJ, Danny, Michelle, the twins, and Joey. They were all crying, but it wasn't tears of sadness that she'd seen on all of their faces too much lately. It was tears of joy. Then a nurse came in, carrying a baby.
"Aunt Becky, isn't just a gorgeous baby?" DJ gushed, taking a hold of the little baby, "Jessica Lila, Jessy for short."
"Is this ... is this my baby?" Becky asked, confused and in a daze. Everybody around her looked at her strangely, then let out a light laugh.
"Yes, yes, this is your daughter," Danny said, taking the baby from DJ and handing her to Becky, who took her in her arms.
"Jesse would love to see this moment," Joey said, "To see his beautiful daughter."
Just then the room went blindingly white, and everybody disappeared, except for Becky and her baby, Jessy.
Then Jesse, in a white robe, stepped into the room. He went by Becky and stroked Jessy's cheek. He then looked at Becky, a silent tear running down his face.
"Becky, I love you," Jesse said, "And I love this kid. But I won't be here to take care of it. You need Joey. And Danny. They understand a lot. DJ's right, you have to tell them."
Becky woke up with a myoclonic jerk (A/N: that's something I learned in Health class, its a sudden jerk). She looked around and saw that she was in her own bed.
Then she sighed deeply, and patted her stomach. Knowing that DJ, and dream Jesse were right. She had to tell the rest of the family. But it was too late now, she'd tell them tomorrow.