Title: Moving On
Author: Anaika Skywalker
Author's Email: lindsay30austarnet.com.au
Rating: PG13
Disclaimer: I don't own JAG; I just like to spread my wings occasionally.
Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter. For those of you who are interested, yes my middle name is 'bitch' and I can be very evil when I want to be. I know ending it where I did was plan cruel, but I couldn't' resist. So thank you to the following: Winjan, Judith, Not A Muggle, Na'ama, jaggygirl, laura carr, rony, lauren, smithknk, Shanabear, T, Angela B, hdrexel, Mary Kate113, TomcatGM, Nikki, and MsJonyReb. I hope you all forgive me for being so nasty; I was in full Tally-ho mood when I wrote it. So lock and load people because here's the next chapter.
Moving OnChapter Twenty-Three: Saying Goodbye
Bethesda Naval Hospital
Maryland.
Grandma Sarah hugged her granddaughter; she'd been picked up by Admiral Chegwidden himself and brought to the hospital to see her grandson. The young woman in her arms, looked tried. "Are you all right Sarah?"
"I'm tired, but I'm fine," she assured. "I'll be better when Harm is well again."
"Which he will be soon, he's going will be fine honey, my grandson is too stubborn not to be."
She chuckled through fresh tears. "Mum said the same thing."
"Then it's got to be true," Grams said lightly and wiped her tear-streaked cheeks. "Everything will be fine, now lets go see if he's awake."
Sarah nodded and led the elderly woman to the private room Harm had been settled in, the nurse gave them a friendly smile as she came out, letting them go in. "I went and saw Harm's RIO this morning, she asked how he was." Sarah told Grams.
"And young Katherine?"
"She's stable but still comatose."
"Phantom is too stubborn to die," Harm's gravelly voice announced.
His wife and grandmother hurried to his side. "I'm sure she'd say the same about you," his wife said, tears in her eyes.
"Damn right," he reached a hand up and caressed her cheek. "Hi sweet thing."
Sarah put her hand over his and drew it down. "Hi flyboy."
He tore his gaze away from his wife to his grandmother. "Grams."
"Harmon, don't you think you've scared your family enough for one life time," she said trying to be stern, though she was just happy to see he was all right.
"Sorry Grams."
"That's all right, Harm, just get well."
"I will Grams," he looked back to his wife, the brief conversation though had taken a lot out of him. "What about Mouse and Piper?"
His wife hesitated. "Lt. Lindsay wasn't as badly injured as you and Kat, she had a punched lung, some cracked ribs and cuts and bruises," she reported. "Harm, Lt. McGregor - Scott didn't make it, he was killed instantly." She felt his hand tighten around hers as his eyes closed. "I'm sorry, Harm."
His eyes opened again, this time glassy with tears. "He pushed Katie towards me, I remember the Cod dropping and him releasing her harness and pushing her into my arms."
"It sounds like he saved her life, Harm," his grandmother said gently.
"I know Grams, still he didn't need to die," he said softly.
They heard a throat being cleared and both women looked back seeing David Lindsay and his wife, who was in a wheelchair.
"Is the Captain up for some visitor's?" He asked.
"Come on in," Grams insisted, giving them a warm smile. "You must be the young lady my grandson calls Mouse."
Karen smiled. "Yes Ma'am, Karen Lindsay, this is my husband David."
"You're a part of my grandson's family, you better call me Grams."
"I will, thank you." Karen said feeling a little embarrassed. She gave Harm a warm smile. "About time you woke up sir," she said as her husband pushed her closer.
Harm released his wife's hand and reached out taking Karen's. "Are you all right?"
"I'm fine," she smiled. "You?"
"I'll mend," he gave her hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry."
"For what, sir?"
"For asking you to come with me."
"I would have come anyway," she assured, knowing he was feeling a lot of guilt. "So would have Phantom and Piper." She gave him a reassuring smile. "This wasn't your fault."
"It feels like it."
"Well it isn't," she insisted. "Scott loved flying with Kat, and he loved being on your wing. Nothing would have stopped him from going. Even Amy knows that."
David put his hand on his wife's shoulder, knowing she had tears in her eyes. She'd gone through RIO school with Scott McGregor. "Amy has gone home to her family, she said to tell you that Scott was honored to have been a part of the Tyco Tigers."
"Thanks doc," Harm let go of Karen's hand and once more took his wife's. "What about Kat?"
His Grandmother could see he was tired. "Harm, perhaps you should rest some more."
"Grams please. I need to know?"
David sighed, seeing Sarah give her husbands hand a reassuring squeeze. "She had internal bleeding, cracked ribs, her right knee is badly dislocated and…" He hesitated. "Swelling around the brain, they operated to relieve the pressure, but she slipped into a coma anyway. They lost her twice on the operating table, she's stable for the moment."
Harm squeezed his eyes shut. God, don't take her too. He prayed. "Will she be all right?" He asked reopening his eyes
"She's breathing without the respirator now, which is a good sign. Her doctor is confident she'll recover."
Sarah brushed her hand over her husband's cheek, because he'd been holding onto Katherine, she'd taken most of the force of the impact. He'd broken his wrist keeping his hold on her and had required surgery on his left knee, but he was alive. "As soon as you feel stronger I'm sure the doctor will let you see her."
"I'll tell her your thinking about her, Cag. ICU is our next stop," Karen told him.
"Thanks Mouse."
"You're welcome sir."
"I'll bring her back later, Captain." David told him.
"Thanks."
He smiled and wheeled his wife out.
Sarah and Grams sat down in the chairs provided. "Sergei has been up a few times, as much as they'll let him," Sarah told her husband. "Jack and Maria sent their love, they went home just before Grams arrived to get some sleep. Jason is still with Kat; the nurses are keeping an eye on him. He didn't want to leave."
"Grams, could you check on him?" Harm asked his grandmother.
"Of course honey," she said. "Get some rest."
"I will Grams."
Sarah told her what floor ICU was on and where Katherine was, Grams nodded, and then left them alone. "Mum and Frank took Ashley and Mattie home to get some sleep. They were going to try and get some themselves."
"When did you last sleep?" He asked his wife, feeling like is whole body weighted more then it should. He was tired, so tired.
"I got a few hours last night, they set a cot up for me beside the bed," she lent over and kissed his lips gently. "Rest."
"Mmm," he was fighting his battle to stay awake, his eyes closing. "I love you, Sarah."
"I love you too, Harm," she whispered, seeing he was already asleep. Changing her position in the chair, she rested her head against his on the pillow and drifted off herself.
Her internal clock told her she'd been asleep for about two hours when she felt the hand shake her gently. Opening her eyes she sat up, seeing who it was. "Admiral."
"Stay seated Colonel. How's Harm?"
She saw her husband was still sleeping peacefully. "He's better sir."
"Good," AJ sat next to her. "I cheeked in on Mrs. Rabb, she's at the moment giving Commander Taylor a good dose of grandmother love."
Sarah chuckled. "Which is what he needs, he's taken this hard. How was Kat, any change?"
"Apparently she squeezed Mrs. Rabb's hand while she was talking to her, the doctors believe she could be coming out of it," the Admiral reported. "Young Jason is of course more determined to be by her side."
"It must be hard on him, since their closer then a lot of people realize."
He nodded. "They were all very lucky."
"Not all of us," Harm's husky voice whispered.
They hadn't even realized he was awake.
"Nice to have you back with us, son." AJ stated.
"Thank you sir."
"Captain Garrett rang this morning and wished you all a speedy recovery," the Admiral reported. "Admiral Ross said to let you know the Tyco Tigers are in good hands – Commander Braxton's and that he was doing fine."
"He's a good officer."
"Josh Pendry rang," Sarah added. "He said to tell you to get well soon, you promised to take him flying in 'Sarah'."
Harm chuckled. "Trust him to remember."
"I'm sure Captain, you're just as anguish to get out of here." AJ presumed.
"Yes sir."
"Give it time, son," he said gentle, then stood. "I have to get back, I have one of the new lawyers I requested reporting in."
"Any one we know, sir?" Sarah asked.
"Commander Meg Austin."
Harm smiled. "I haven't seen Meg in a long time."
"Well she remembers you, she said she'll come up to the hospital and say hello as soon as she's settled."
Sarah arched an eyebrow. "Meg, as in your first partner?"
"His second partner, Colonel. Who happens to be happily married," the Admiral noted. "Get some rest, the both of you."
"Aye sir," both acknowledged on instinct.
He chuckled lightly and left.
"Sometimes I think he forgets you're not under his Command any more," Sarah observed.
"Sometimes I think he wishes I was." Harm stated.
"So do I," she said with a longing in her voice. One he didn't miss.
Commander Josh Taylor smiled thinking how much Grandma Sarah was like his own grandmother, she fawned over young Jason O'Reilly and given him a good dose of grandmotherly love. It was what both of them needed.
Hearing footfalls, he turned and saw Tom Boone and his son. He nodded. "Sir's."
"Commander; how is she?" Tom asked him quietly.
"There's been little change sir, though she did squeeze Gram's hand a little while a go, but that's it."
"It's better then nothing," Shawn told him.
Jason looked back seeing them, he may have had his birth mothers eyes, but he was a lot like his birth father too. Getting up he went over to the Commander and wrapped his arms around him, burying his head in Shawn's middle.
Despite being a little startled, Shawn recovered and soon got the idea, hugging the boy back. "It's going to be okay, bud, I promise."
Grams smiled warmly, especially when she saw her youngest grandson arrive.
Sergei nodded to the too men. "Sirs."
"Gunny."
He patted Jason's shoulder as he passed, going over to his grandmother. "Hi Grams."
She stood and hugged him warmly. "Hi honey. You look tired."
"I am a little, I didn't sleep much last night," he sat down when she did, taking Katherine's hand. He felt her squeeze his hand, which made him smile. He lent closer. "I know you know I'm here Katie, open your eyes sweetheart." He felt his hand being squeezed again.
"Keep going Sergei," Grams urged.
He brought Katherine's hand to his lips and kissed it. "Come on sweetheart, it's time to wake up."
Tom, his son and grandson moved closer, wanting to see what was happening. As did two other people, Sarah Rabb pushed her wheelchair bound husband into the room. All were surprised to see him.
"Should you be out of bed, Harm?" His grandmother asked concerned.
"He shouldn't be, but he badgered the doctor into letting him come," Sarah told her as he maneuvered him closer. Seeing Tom and Shawn Boone smirking, as was Jason, who looked up to Harm with hero worship from the moment they'd meet.
"I'm fine Grams," Harm reassured. He reached out and took Katherine's hand; she squeezed his hand just like she'd done Sergei's. "It's time to you woke up, Phantom."
In the fog that muddled her mind, she heard voices. Sergei's, the Cag's, their grandmothers, Sarah's, Shawn and Tom Boone's, all the people who cared about her.
'It's time to go back to them," a familiar voice whispered.
The fog started to lift bring her back from the warm comfortable place in her mind that she'd retreated, away from the pain and sorrow.
'They need you, Katie, I'm fine. I'm at peace,' the voice whispered again. 'You need to go, you don't belong here.'
Sergei saw the woman he loved breath deeply as if she'd sighed in her sleep. "Come back to us, Katie," he said in a soft voice.
Sarah reached around her husband and pressed the call button.
Harm saw Katherine's eyelids flicker; he gave her hand a gentle squeeze, then commanded. "Wake up Lt. Commander. Now!"
Her eyes snapped open and she stared at him for a brief moment before smiling. "No… need… to shout, Cag," she said hoarsely.
He chuckled, as did everyone else, including Dr. Jordan, who'd walked in as Harm had given the order.
"Nice work Captain Rabb, I must remember that one," the doctor mused.
"Phantom, just knows better then to disobey a direct order from her Commanding Officer."
"Especially the Cag," she added. Then looked from the doctor to the man she loved, she gestured him closer. When he lent over she slipped her hand around the back of his neck and pulled him down to her, kissing him firmly on the lips before he could protest. Not that he wanted to.
Harm released her hand and glanced back. "Got a bucket of cold water on you, doc?"
Dr. Jordan laughed. "No, but if they don't cut it out I might just get one."
That brought the two of them apart. "You know what they say doctor, abstains makes the heart grow founder." Sergei stated as he sat back down.
"Not that you saw anything, correct, doctor?" Sarah asked him
Dr. Jordan got the message. "Nothing at all Colonel." He said with a smile. "Now if you'll all step outside for a moment, I'd like to check the Lt. Commander over. And Captain Rabb, get back to bed."
"Yes sir," he smirked, even though he outranked the doctor. "See you later, Phantom."
"Yes sir," she agreed.
Grandma Sarah went with her grandson and granddaughter, Tom and Shawn took Jason to find a phone and ring his parents. Sergei was the last out, waiting outside. When he saw his grandmother return, he went straight into her arms and held her tight.
"Are you all right, Sergei?" She asked him
"I am now, Grams."
She gave his back a rub. "She always knew you were there, sweetheart. Now you be there for her."
"I will Grams," he promised. "I'm going to do it right, once I'm done with OCS, I'm going to make sure I don't lose Katherine O'Reilly again."
Rabb Farm
(2 wks later)
Grandma Sarah watched from the porch as the young woman walked towards her. Katherine O'Reilly had come a long way in two weeks. She walked with a limp still, but the doctors had told her that would go. Her hair was growing back; she wore a dark blue bandana to cover the stubble and the scar. Coming to the farm though had been the best therapy the young woman could have been given. As she watched her, the older woman realized just how much this young aviator was like her grandson, not Sergei but Harm. It was no wonder Harm thought of her as a little sister, she was just how she pictured her son's daughter would be like, if he'd had one.
"Morning Grams." Katherine greeted.
"Morning sweetheart, you're up early."
"I went jogging."
"Katherine," Grams said in that no nonsense voice of hers. "The doctors told you to take it easy."
"I am, I only ran three miles instead of the usual five when I'm not up to scratch."
The elder woman shook her head. "You, young lady are too much like my grandson and I'm not talking about Sergei."
Katherine grinned her best flyboy grin. "Thank you Grams."
"Come on smart ass, inside, breakfast is ready."
Chuckling the younger woman followed her inside to the kitchen, sitting down she accepted the breakfast the elderly woman placed in front of her. "Did Sergei say when he would arrive, when he rang yesterday?"
"No," Grams sat down with her. "Just that he'd be here to day."
"Oh," Katherine smothered her disappointment and ate her breakfast. The point of coming to the farm was to heal, both emotionally and physically. The doctors called it survivor's guilt. When she'd found out Scott had died, she'd dealt with it badly, not understanding why he'd died and she'd lived. Sergei had become her anchor.
Then Harm had sat down and told her about his ramp strike and how he'd lost his RIO, the guilt he'd lived with until he'd gotten control of it. Now she had to do the same thing.
"Katie?"
She came out of her daze. "Sorry Grams."
"It's okay sweetheart," she patted her hand. "I just asked are you finished."
"Yes, thank you." Katherine helped her clean up; as they washed the dishes she recalled staying with Scott and Amy while on leave, before Sally had been born. They'd been washing up when Scott had starting singing to his wife; it was then she realized what a good voice he'd had. She'd joined in; Amy had laughed and rolled her eyes as they continued singing to her.
Grams noticed the tears, the fact Katherine stood frozen, staring at nothing in particular. She took the plate and tee-towel from the young woman. "It's all right Katie," she said calmly, she held her close letting her cry. "Let it go, sweetheart."
"Why did he have to die Grams, why?"
"It was just his time, Katie."
"But he didn't get to see his son born."
"Yes he did, honey. He was there, not in body but in sprite. He'll always be there," she guided the young woman into the lounge and sat her down, settling beside her. "Katie, you have to let him go, you can't carry him around with you. It's time to say goodbye."
"I know," she wiped her eyes and stood. "Thanks Grams."
"You're welcome, honey."
Leaving the house, Katherine walked, not in any particular direction, she just needed to think and clear her head.
'Let me go, Katie.' Scott's voice whispered on the wind.
"I don't know how," she told him.
'Yes you do, Katie."
Tears welled in her eyes again as she hugged herself. "How do I go on?"
'Like you've always done, you're the strongest person I've ever known."
"I don't feel strong," she said wearily.
'But you are, you always will be, stay safe Katie. Keep the wind at your back.'
A sob tore at her throat and she turned and ran back to the house, she knew what she had to do know. Taking the stairs two at a time, she ignored the throb her knee was developing and kept going into the house.
"Katie?" Grams called to her as she ran past.
"I'm sorry Grams, I've got to go," she said as she headed up the stairs.
Grams chuckled and headed into the lounge to make a quick call to her grandson.
Upstairs Katherine took a quick shower and dressed, throwing the clothes and toiletries into her bag. Once it was zipped up she dashed back down the stairs.
Grandma Sarah was waiting, noticing Katherine now a white bandana stenciled with Tomcats; a gift from the Tyco Tigers. "Are you sure you're all right to drive, honey?"
"I'll be fine Grams," she hugged her. "You were right, I do need to say goodbye. Thank you."
"You're welcome, honey. Be careful on your way back."
"I will. Love you Grams," she said and kissed her cheek before hurrying out the door.
Chuckling the elderly woman knew Sergei was going to have his hands full with Katherine O'Reilly.
Katherine opened the Vette out on the highway; speed had been in her blood from the moment she'd been conceived. Either behind the wheel or behind a stick, her reflexes were sharp, being a fighter pilot kept them honed. This was her freedom.
Several hours later she pulled the midnight blue Vette into the car park at Arlington Cemetery, killing the engines. Getting out she pocketed the keys, then headed to where Lt. Scott McGregor had been laid to rest. She hankered down, even though the throbbing in her knee had gotten worse, she'd pushed hard to get there and was going to pay for it. "I'm sorry I've taken so long to come here, Piper," she said softly. "I guess I didn't want to let you go." She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked seeing Sergei, he was keeling behind her. She twisted round and fell into his arms pushing him onto his backside.
He held onto her, keeping her in the safety of his arms. "Grams rang and said you were coming back, I knew you'd come here."
"I had to say goodbye," she said softly.
"He would of flown without you, Katie. He would have hated it, but he would have done it. Now you have to do the same."
"I know," she reached out and touched the headstone. "Goodbye Scott."
"There's something else I know Scott would have wanted," Sergei whispered. He took her left hand and slid her engagement ring back on her finger.
It was then she realized he was in uniform, 2nd Lieutenant bars at his collar. "You graduated."
"This morning."
"I wanted to be there."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"It's okay," she ran her fingers over the bars. "I guess now we have no excuses."
"None at all. Marry me, Katie?"
"Any time, any where," she promised.
He smiled and kissed her, parting her lips as he deepened the kiss. Groaning against her mouth. "Lets go home, Sailor."
She nodded. "I love you jarhead."
"I love you, squid." He stood and pulled her up into his arms. Cupping her face in his hands he kissed her again, savoring the taste of her.
A gentle breeze blew around them like a warm caress, as if someone else was giving their approval to the union.
To be continued… (I forgot where Harm's grandmother's farm is when I wrote the chapter, which is why it isn't listed and I couldn't resist using the line from Top Gun at the end. It just seemed appropriate.)
(And just a little extra note, I've updated my web page, if anyone would like to take a look. The address is in my bio)