A Call To Arms cont4
When I first saw Heero in that bed I was shocked. This was the guy that had brought the world to peace and yet here he was lying in a bed staring at the ceiling with tears in his eyes. This guy had escaped death so many times, how could he do this to me? I guess there was a small part of me that was mad at him. This wasn't supposed to happen! He couldn't just up and die on me! It... I wouldn't allow it! But after I got a good look at the expression of relinquishment etched across his facial features the anger evaporated replaced by something ten times worse. Guilt.
This wasn't right. I shouldn't be angry with him ought to feel sorry for him. Here he was lying in a white bed, probably been lying there for a while crying and all I could think about was he can't do this to me? I took a step forwards and his head lolled to the side and looked at me. One look in those cobalt blue eyes that took my breath away and I knew it was over. He wasn't going to get better, I knew that. I also knew that if he died I was going with him damn it! There was just no way I could make it in this world without him.
"H-... hey." That was it. He was sick possibly dying and all he could say was, hey. "H-...hi." I returned. That was all we said for a while. Neither of us had ever been real good with words. I sat. I was afraid. He had been crying. I had been through it all with Heero, we went through hell and a half during that thrice damned war but I had never seen him cry. It frightened me that he would be this scared of something. I bit my lip and softly placed my hand on his cheek. 'Heero..." I started. "You... what... I..." Heero cut me off there. "I'm sorry Duo." Those three words took all words from my mouth. He didn't need to be sorry. It was hardly his fault he had gotten shot. He was my entire world, didn't he know that? "Heero... you don't need to be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for."
Heero looked down. "Duo I'm not dying from the shot... the doctors say it's something else... an illness... swept the colonies years ago..." I'm sure he said more but I can't know for sure because that's all I heard. Colonies... illness that swept the colonies... I knew what he was talking about. I knew better than I cared to know. The plague. Same thing that had gotten Solo was stealing from me the one person I treasured most in the world.
Why does god hate me? I have asked that question time and time again but I never get a suitable answer. Always I keep wondering. Why am I the god of death what makes me so special? Why was I chosen? Why does god hate me? Because I pissed him off I guess. I piss off a lot of people. I guess it's my cheery exterior. But I feel so bad. If I hadn't gotten close to Heero he wouldn't be dying. Everyone I care about dies. I guess its part of the job. It's all my fault. Heero is dying because of me. I should be punished. I'll find a way to punish myself. Maybe I'll burn myself or cut myself or something. ANYTHING! But I must be punished. That's for certain. I killed Heero. Sweet, innocent, perfect Heero. I killed him.
When I first saw Heero in that bed I was shocked. This was the guy that had brought the world to peace and yet here he was lying in a bed staring at the ceiling with tears in his eyes. This guy had escaped death so many times, how could he do this to me? I guess there was a small part of me that was mad at him. This wasn't supposed to happen! He couldn't just up and die on me! It... I wouldn't allow it! But after I got a good look at the expression of relinquishment etched across his facial features the anger evaporated replaced by something ten times worse. Guilt.
This wasn't right. I shouldn't be angry with him ought to feel sorry for him. Here he was lying in a white bed, probably been lying there for a while crying and all I could think about was he can't do this to me? I took a step forwards and his head lolled to the side and looked at me. One look in those cobalt blue eyes that took my breath away and I knew it was over. He wasn't going to get better, I knew that. I also knew that if he died I was going with him damn it! There was just no way I could make it in this world without him.
"H-... hey." That was it. He was sick possibly dying and all he could say was, hey. "H-...hi." I returned. That was all we said for a while. Neither of us had ever been real good with words. I sat. I was afraid. He had been crying. I had been through it all with Heero, we went through hell and a half during that thrice damned war but I had never seen him cry. It frightened me that he would be this scared of something. I bit my lip and softly placed my hand on his cheek. 'Heero..." I started. "You... what... I..." Heero cut me off there. "I'm sorry Duo." Those three words took all words from my mouth. He didn't need to be sorry. It was hardly his fault he had gotten shot. He was my entire world, didn't he know that? "Heero... you don't need to be sorry. You have nothing to be sorry for."
Heero looked down. "Duo I'm not dying from the shot... the doctors say it's something else... an illness... swept the colonies years ago..." I'm sure he said more but I can't know for sure because that's all I heard. Colonies... illness that swept the colonies... I knew what he was talking about. I knew better than I cared to know. The plague. Same thing that had gotten Solo was stealing from me the one person I treasured most in the world.
Why does god hate me? I have asked that question time and time again but I never get a suitable answer. Always I keep wondering. Why am I the god of death what makes me so special? Why was I chosen? Why does god hate me? Because I pissed him off I guess. I piss off a lot of people. I guess it's my cheery exterior. But I feel so bad. If I hadn't gotten close to Heero he wouldn't be dying. Everyone I care about dies. I guess its part of the job. It's all my fault. Heero is dying because of me. I should be punished. I'll find a way to punish myself. Maybe I'll burn myself or cut myself or something. ANYTHING! But I must be punished. That's for certain. I killed Heero. Sweet, innocent, perfect Heero. I killed him.