The time it takes
He found Hermione sitting on his bed, waiting. "Hermione," Severus called out to her. She looked up, and when she saw him she smiled, and patted the bed, indicating where he should sit.
He frowned at her, and drew up a chair in front of her. Silently, he took her hands in his.
He looked at them, fascinated at his hands covering hers. The difference was profound, almost unwanted. They showed the age between them, and the difficulties. His hands were covered in scars; hers had a few paper cuts yet nothing more.
But then again, maybe he was being naïve. He flinched slightly at the thought, but it didn't make it any less true. Her hands may not show it, but yet, she was thrown...invited into the wizarding world, and then spent her time, not enjoying the magical world she was in, but fighting so in the future there would be a world for her to live in.
He though that when she first heard about the world she would have thought it would be like any another school, yet highly different. She would have met this world with innocence, but now, did she have any innocence left? She had lost her newborn innocence, the one that covers you when you are born, and the death of her parents had stripped away another innocence as well.
She should hate them all. This world that at first glance seems so promising, was but one thing took her parents and her stability away from her.
After the attack on her parents, Dumbledore and himself were relieved to find that she wasn't there. That was, until Arthur arrived and told them she wasn't at the Burrow with them, and that she had to be at her home. But then she had shown herself. Her eyes were red and puffy, tear streaked, her clothes were wrinkled. She hadn't screamed at them for wreaking her life; she only stood looking so lost that it had shocked him to realize that he did care about her, not much, yet a little. Enough to make it count.
But here she was now, with him, wanting him. This had to be yet another joke someone was playing on him.
As if sensing his feelings, she brought his hands to her mouth and kissed them, causing Severus to nearly draw back his hands in shock.
This girl...women shocked him as no one before her had, not counting Albus or Solana. No other had ever voluntary touched him, the greasy git, the bastard, the death-eater. Yet she...she was amazing. She wasn't disgusted by him, she didn't seem to want to get away from him at every chance, and at times it actually seemed like she craved for him. But was that even possible?
He honestly didn't know what to do, but he knew he needed to do something. Would he kneel to her wants, her want for him? Or would he tell her to get over her crush, break her heart and never talk about it again? One way would make him and her happy, the other way would probably kill them both, but his life was already damned. Maybe if he stopped whatever was happening between them now, then at least her life would have a chance.
He looked into her eyes that held hope and love. Could he really break her heart...?
.............................................................................................
Hermione bit her lip, and then stopped as quickly as she had started. Severus didn't like her doing that.
She knew that kissing his hands, was risky and that he could pull back and be terribly angry, or could start kissing her, and telling her he loved her... but in the end he did what she honestly knew he'd do. He simply looked at her in surprise, his mouth not in a snarl or a smile, simply questioning.
He was just a mystery to her, yet he was a mystery she wanted to explore and figure out.
She was in many ways disappointed in herself. If he wanted her to quit Hogwarts or not have a job after Hogwarts then she would, just if it meant she could be with him.
But she also knew that if they did get together, through in many ways she already consider them involved, he would do the same for her. If she asked it, he would severe the few ties he had within the wizarding world.
She had come to know a lot about him during their time together, and from what Solana had told her about Severus, she knew he was thinking about breaking her heart. But he was doing that because he thought her life would be better without him. It was time to set him straight; she was sick of them tiptoeing around each other.
The way she saw it was Severus loved her...well he nearly loved her, and she loved Severus, no matter what and that is all that mattered. She just hoped that he wouldn't put up too much of a fight. She was planning to wait a few days before seducing him, but if it helped her tonight...
But first she would just talk to him, try to make him see they were made for each other. She would keep her temper at bay, she wouldn't shout at him, and she wouldn't blurt out she loved him. Well she'd try not to; she wanted him to tell her first.
............................................................................................
"What the hell is going on with you Harry?" Ginny Weasley asked and took a deep breath, "Don't you love me anymore is that it?"
"Listen, Ginny. I'm not sure; I just don't think I do."
"You...what? You mean you really don't love me?"
"I'm not sure Ginny. It's just whenever I think about Hermione or see her, I get that feeling in my stomach, just like I got when I first started liking you."
"What...how could you!" She took a swing at him, but he ducked just in time, "You bastard Hermione's my best friend!"
"She's mine as well Ginny!"
"You bastard," Ginny said to him, then turned and made her way out of the room, she stopped at the doorway. "Anyway, you're to late. Hermione has fallen for Snape, and I'm happy for her."
With that she left Harry standing in the middle of the room, dumbfounded, mouth opened in shock.
............................................................................................
"So, I take it Professor McGonagall didn't kill you?" Hermione asked Severus lightly.
His eyes looked at her, and she felt surrounded by them, lost in their dark depths. "Hermione, what are we? Is there an us?" He asked and twisted his hands, flexed them. He didn't notice Hermione smirk as she realized he was nervous.
"Severus, you know I love you," 'Well there goes my strategy,' Hermione thought and then continued, "And you know I want us to be together, but it is your choice."
"What if I don't want us to be together?"
"I'm not going to let us not be together."
"But I thought it was my choice?"
"Severus!"
"Fine, I honestly don't know how I feel about you, but Solana told me, mere minutes ago something that makes me wants to find out if I do love you," At her expectant look he continued, "It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved."
"I don't believe this!" Hermione cried rising from her chair and pacing the room.
Severus sat there surprised, unsure. "Couldn't you have just chosen a nice, expressing love type of quote?" He looked disgusted at the mere thought. "But no! You just had to be the bastard, the greasy git, the death eater!" She turned away at that moment and didn't see him flinch.
"Couldn't you just once...be Severus?" she asked as her voice broke, "For me?"
He didn't say anything, just watched her break with an uninterested expression on his face. When she saw this her anger got fired up again. "You overbearing git, I bet you enjoy seeing people hurt, don't you? I bet you enjoy being a death-eater?!" Hermione spat it all out at him in one breath.
Suddenly without warning, Severus was slamming her into a wall. Hermione's eyes widened as her breath was sucked from her body, and she looked up at Severus face in shock, but he paid her no heed as his wand poked into her neck
You stupid little slut," Hermione tried to turn her head away from him, from his glaring hatred filled eyes, but his hand grabbed her head roughly and turned her face back to him. "You have no idea, at all. I had hoped you did, but I was wrong. I might be a bastard, but I would never...You say to me you couldn't live without me, yet you don't believe in me, you're a flake aren't you Miss Granger?"
Before Hermione had a chance to reply, Severus' mouth took her own. He was demanding, rough, his teeth sunk into her lip, and his tongue licked up her blood. His hands covered her, stretching over the material of her clothes, and with a growl he pulled off her top, leaving her bra on. She whimpered as the air hit her now showing skin as Severus' hands went to unclasp her bra. "Severus don't; remember you're not like this."
Within seconds he withdrew from her, and stared at her in shock. Without a thought he turned and fled from the room.
Hermione let out a cry of pain as soon as Severus was not visible. She had brought this upon herself and she knew it. Maybe she wasn't ready for Severus, maybe he was right and she had been playing with him.
She tasted the blood in her mouth and smirked. No, this was what she wanted. It mightn't have happened the way she wanted, but she did want it, very much so. Smiling she put on her top, and got some paper from Severus desk. Randomly picking up a quill that lay on his desk, she quickly wrote all that he needed to know.
.............................................................................................
Severus,
Forgive me? What I said was not the truth. I guess in the end I wanted to bring some emotion out of you, although I wanted sweet, caring, loving emotion. I think I might have gone the wrong way to get it?
What I'm trying to say is that everything that happened was my fault, and everything I said wasn't true.
You were right in some ways. I do not know you at all compared to your knowledge of me, but I am willing...hoping to learn.
I want you, Severus, and I know that scares you but it scares me too. You are the sensible one, the one that can hide their emotions so well. You're the one person in the world I need.
So I assume I am back to my original question: Forgive me?
Hermione
.............................................................................................
"Harry?" Hermione stopped suddenly and backtracked. "Harry?"
"Hermione, hi," Harry responded.
"What are you doing here?" Hermione questioned him.
"Well, Ginny and I broke up so Dumbledore's letting me stay here,"
"Oh Harry, are you okay?"
"Yeah sure. It had been building up for a while now so..." he trailed off and shrugged.
Hermione eyed him wearily; he didn't seem upset at all. "Wait a second...did you say you're staying here?"
"Yeah."
"Oh...great," Hermione replied, she really didn't need this.
.............................................................................................
Severus came into his room several hours later aiming to go to his liquor cabinet and drink himself into an up roar, when he happened upon Hermione's letter.
He read it over a few times before hoping into his bed, liquor forgotten. 'That woman never ceases to amaze me,' thought to himself.
.............................................................................................
Else where, the Malfoy's were getting ready to leave in the morning for Hogwarts.
.............................................................................................
Well hope you like, thanks to my BETA 'Dama-de-tinieblas' who without this story would make little sense.
Deb: Thanks, I'm trying to get there, well Severus's, emotions clearer, but at the moment there very mixed up, you know like when you want something a lot but it's very wrong.
Sapphire Butterfly: Well maybe lol nah there will be some, but at the moment there still getting to know each other, but there will be some very, very close calls. ; P
Cat-of-the-western-lands: Thanks grad you like it :D
Lily bell: Yeah I like the idea Sev has a sister as well, and he does have a heart, not sure how big it is yet through...
Rupertgrintfan546: Well does Sev love Hermione, now that's a question, which will be answered soon, but I can tell you he cares for her deeply.
Anarane Anwamane: Thanks, through I can tell you the only reason the writing's good is because of 'Dama-de-tinieblas'.
Vasquez1987: Tear. Really sorry to annoy the hell out of you I mean I live my life trying not to, but honestly I told you all at the start that I was using a dictionary, and if you don't like that you didn't have to read more, and how they use bits of Spanish and English in there sentences, well Sev does, as much as he is Spanish he has been living in England for years, and he knows that not everyone talks Spanish so he mixes them to please others and himself. I know I had bad grammar, but I have a BETA now and everything is fine, well I think it is. Tinto might be a weak wine but I never said Sev hadn't done something to make it more, stronger, he is a potion master, use your imagination. I do in the end now have a BETA and you should have read the chapters she has BETA and will find them fine.
Now that's done IMPORTANT QUESTION what do you guys think of slash because I'm thinking Harry/Draco seeing I'm sure you have all realized Harry doesn't really want Hermione, now about it, I will not center it on there relationship, god no this is SSHG centered, but they would have small screen time like Ginny and Harry got, and there relationship would be hinted at my others, through the relationship wont happen for a while. But I want to, but what do you all think?
Jaquelle
He found Hermione sitting on his bed, waiting. "Hermione," Severus called out to her. She looked up, and when she saw him she smiled, and patted the bed, indicating where he should sit.
He frowned at her, and drew up a chair in front of her. Silently, he took her hands in his.
He looked at them, fascinated at his hands covering hers. The difference was profound, almost unwanted. They showed the age between them, and the difficulties. His hands were covered in scars; hers had a few paper cuts yet nothing more.
But then again, maybe he was being naïve. He flinched slightly at the thought, but it didn't make it any less true. Her hands may not show it, but yet, she was thrown...invited into the wizarding world, and then spent her time, not enjoying the magical world she was in, but fighting so in the future there would be a world for her to live in.
He though that when she first heard about the world she would have thought it would be like any another school, yet highly different. She would have met this world with innocence, but now, did she have any innocence left? She had lost her newborn innocence, the one that covers you when you are born, and the death of her parents had stripped away another innocence as well.
She should hate them all. This world that at first glance seems so promising, was but one thing took her parents and her stability away from her.
After the attack on her parents, Dumbledore and himself were relieved to find that she wasn't there. That was, until Arthur arrived and told them she wasn't at the Burrow with them, and that she had to be at her home. But then she had shown herself. Her eyes were red and puffy, tear streaked, her clothes were wrinkled. She hadn't screamed at them for wreaking her life; she only stood looking so lost that it had shocked him to realize that he did care about her, not much, yet a little. Enough to make it count.
But here she was now, with him, wanting him. This had to be yet another joke someone was playing on him.
As if sensing his feelings, she brought his hands to her mouth and kissed them, causing Severus to nearly draw back his hands in shock.
This girl...women shocked him as no one before her had, not counting Albus or Solana. No other had ever voluntary touched him, the greasy git, the bastard, the death-eater. Yet she...she was amazing. She wasn't disgusted by him, she didn't seem to want to get away from him at every chance, and at times it actually seemed like she craved for him. But was that even possible?
He honestly didn't know what to do, but he knew he needed to do something. Would he kneel to her wants, her want for him? Or would he tell her to get over her crush, break her heart and never talk about it again? One way would make him and her happy, the other way would probably kill them both, but his life was already damned. Maybe if he stopped whatever was happening between them now, then at least her life would have a chance.
He looked into her eyes that held hope and love. Could he really break her heart...?
.............................................................................................
Hermione bit her lip, and then stopped as quickly as she had started. Severus didn't like her doing that.
She knew that kissing his hands, was risky and that he could pull back and be terribly angry, or could start kissing her, and telling her he loved her... but in the end he did what she honestly knew he'd do. He simply looked at her in surprise, his mouth not in a snarl or a smile, simply questioning.
He was just a mystery to her, yet he was a mystery she wanted to explore and figure out.
She was in many ways disappointed in herself. If he wanted her to quit Hogwarts or not have a job after Hogwarts then she would, just if it meant she could be with him.
But she also knew that if they did get together, through in many ways she already consider them involved, he would do the same for her. If she asked it, he would severe the few ties he had within the wizarding world.
She had come to know a lot about him during their time together, and from what Solana had told her about Severus, she knew he was thinking about breaking her heart. But he was doing that because he thought her life would be better without him. It was time to set him straight; she was sick of them tiptoeing around each other.
The way she saw it was Severus loved her...well he nearly loved her, and she loved Severus, no matter what and that is all that mattered. She just hoped that he wouldn't put up too much of a fight. She was planning to wait a few days before seducing him, but if it helped her tonight...
But first she would just talk to him, try to make him see they were made for each other. She would keep her temper at bay, she wouldn't shout at him, and she wouldn't blurt out she loved him. Well she'd try not to; she wanted him to tell her first.
............................................................................................
"What the hell is going on with you Harry?" Ginny Weasley asked and took a deep breath, "Don't you love me anymore is that it?"
"Listen, Ginny. I'm not sure; I just don't think I do."
"You...what? You mean you really don't love me?"
"I'm not sure Ginny. It's just whenever I think about Hermione or see her, I get that feeling in my stomach, just like I got when I first started liking you."
"What...how could you!" She took a swing at him, but he ducked just in time, "You bastard Hermione's my best friend!"
"She's mine as well Ginny!"
"You bastard," Ginny said to him, then turned and made her way out of the room, she stopped at the doorway. "Anyway, you're to late. Hermione has fallen for Snape, and I'm happy for her."
With that she left Harry standing in the middle of the room, dumbfounded, mouth opened in shock.
............................................................................................
"So, I take it Professor McGonagall didn't kill you?" Hermione asked Severus lightly.
His eyes looked at her, and she felt surrounded by them, lost in their dark depths. "Hermione, what are we? Is there an us?" He asked and twisted his hands, flexed them. He didn't notice Hermione smirk as she realized he was nervous.
"Severus, you know I love you," 'Well there goes my strategy,' Hermione thought and then continued, "And you know I want us to be together, but it is your choice."
"What if I don't want us to be together?"
"I'm not going to let us not be together."
"But I thought it was my choice?"
"Severus!"
"Fine, I honestly don't know how I feel about you, but Solana told me, mere minutes ago something that makes me wants to find out if I do love you," At her expectant look he continued, "It is better to have loved and lost then never to have loved."
"I don't believe this!" Hermione cried rising from her chair and pacing the room.
Severus sat there surprised, unsure. "Couldn't you have just chosen a nice, expressing love type of quote?" He looked disgusted at the mere thought. "But no! You just had to be the bastard, the greasy git, the death eater!" She turned away at that moment and didn't see him flinch.
"Couldn't you just once...be Severus?" she asked as her voice broke, "For me?"
He didn't say anything, just watched her break with an uninterested expression on his face. When she saw this her anger got fired up again. "You overbearing git, I bet you enjoy seeing people hurt, don't you? I bet you enjoy being a death-eater?!" Hermione spat it all out at him in one breath.
Suddenly without warning, Severus was slamming her into a wall. Hermione's eyes widened as her breath was sucked from her body, and she looked up at Severus face in shock, but he paid her no heed as his wand poked into her neck
You stupid little slut," Hermione tried to turn her head away from him, from his glaring hatred filled eyes, but his hand grabbed her head roughly and turned her face back to him. "You have no idea, at all. I had hoped you did, but I was wrong. I might be a bastard, but I would never...You say to me you couldn't live without me, yet you don't believe in me, you're a flake aren't you Miss Granger?"
Before Hermione had a chance to reply, Severus' mouth took her own. He was demanding, rough, his teeth sunk into her lip, and his tongue licked up her blood. His hands covered her, stretching over the material of her clothes, and with a growl he pulled off her top, leaving her bra on. She whimpered as the air hit her now showing skin as Severus' hands went to unclasp her bra. "Severus don't; remember you're not like this."
Within seconds he withdrew from her, and stared at her in shock. Without a thought he turned and fled from the room.
Hermione let out a cry of pain as soon as Severus was not visible. She had brought this upon herself and she knew it. Maybe she wasn't ready for Severus, maybe he was right and she had been playing with him.
She tasted the blood in her mouth and smirked. No, this was what she wanted. It mightn't have happened the way she wanted, but she did want it, very much so. Smiling she put on her top, and got some paper from Severus desk. Randomly picking up a quill that lay on his desk, she quickly wrote all that he needed to know.
.............................................................................................
Severus,
Forgive me? What I said was not the truth. I guess in the end I wanted to bring some emotion out of you, although I wanted sweet, caring, loving emotion. I think I might have gone the wrong way to get it?
What I'm trying to say is that everything that happened was my fault, and everything I said wasn't true.
You were right in some ways. I do not know you at all compared to your knowledge of me, but I am willing...hoping to learn.
I want you, Severus, and I know that scares you but it scares me too. You are the sensible one, the one that can hide their emotions so well. You're the one person in the world I need.
So I assume I am back to my original question: Forgive me?
Hermione
.............................................................................................
"Harry?" Hermione stopped suddenly and backtracked. "Harry?"
"Hermione, hi," Harry responded.
"What are you doing here?" Hermione questioned him.
"Well, Ginny and I broke up so Dumbledore's letting me stay here,"
"Oh Harry, are you okay?"
"Yeah sure. It had been building up for a while now so..." he trailed off and shrugged.
Hermione eyed him wearily; he didn't seem upset at all. "Wait a second...did you say you're staying here?"
"Yeah."
"Oh...great," Hermione replied, she really didn't need this.
.............................................................................................
Severus came into his room several hours later aiming to go to his liquor cabinet and drink himself into an up roar, when he happened upon Hermione's letter.
He read it over a few times before hoping into his bed, liquor forgotten. 'That woman never ceases to amaze me,' thought to himself.
.............................................................................................
Else where, the Malfoy's were getting ready to leave in the morning for Hogwarts.
.............................................................................................
Well hope you like, thanks to my BETA 'Dama-de-tinieblas' who without this story would make little sense.
Deb: Thanks, I'm trying to get there, well Severus's, emotions clearer, but at the moment there very mixed up, you know like when you want something a lot but it's very wrong.
Sapphire Butterfly: Well maybe lol nah there will be some, but at the moment there still getting to know each other, but there will be some very, very close calls. ; P
Cat-of-the-western-lands: Thanks grad you like it :D
Lily bell: Yeah I like the idea Sev has a sister as well, and he does have a heart, not sure how big it is yet through...
Rupertgrintfan546: Well does Sev love Hermione, now that's a question, which will be answered soon, but I can tell you he cares for her deeply.
Anarane Anwamane: Thanks, through I can tell you the only reason the writing's good is because of 'Dama-de-tinieblas'.
Vasquez1987: Tear. Really sorry to annoy the hell out of you I mean I live my life trying not to, but honestly I told you all at the start that I was using a dictionary, and if you don't like that you didn't have to read more, and how they use bits of Spanish and English in there sentences, well Sev does, as much as he is Spanish he has been living in England for years, and he knows that not everyone talks Spanish so he mixes them to please others and himself. I know I had bad grammar, but I have a BETA now and everything is fine, well I think it is. Tinto might be a weak wine but I never said Sev hadn't done something to make it more, stronger, he is a potion master, use your imagination. I do in the end now have a BETA and you should have read the chapters she has BETA and will find them fine.
Now that's done IMPORTANT QUESTION what do you guys think of slash because I'm thinking Harry/Draco seeing I'm sure you have all realized Harry doesn't really want Hermione, now about it, I will not center it on there relationship, god no this is SSHG centered, but they would have small screen time like Ginny and Harry got, and there relationship would be hinted at my others, through the relationship wont happen for a while. But I want to, but what do you all think?
Jaquelle