Beyond the dawn
Book 2: I want for nothing
Chapter 2
Picnic weather, that's what it was. It was perfect picnic weather. That's what Ami said after watching Jungle wa itsumo Hale nochi Guu on television. She picked up her phone and dialed Makoto's number. The phone rang three times before it was answered by a sleepy voice.
"Moshi moshi…" came Makoto's voice, groggy and full of sleep.
"Oh, sorry Makoto, did I wake you?" Ami smiled. Strange, she thought. She sounded sympathetic to Makoto if she had disturbed her, but at the same time she didn't much care. That had been happening a lot.
"Oh, no you didn't Ami. Uh, what's up?" Makoto said quickly. There was some shuffling in the background.
"Nothing much. I was just looking outside and thought that it would be nice if you and I, and maybe a few of the girls when on a picnic."
"Uh…" Makoto drawled her voice and then there was silence. Ami waited, irritated. That was strange too. She wasn't irritated easily.
"Makoto?"
"Yeah! I mean…." There was more fumbling in the background and Makoto had covered the mouthpiece of the phone, but Ami could clearly hear Makoto tell someone to stop playing around.
"Makoto?"
"Uh, look, Ami I got to go, but I'll call you back in a bit, ok? Then we can talk about that picnic."
"Don't bother," Ami said flatly and hung up the phone. She was angry and she couldn't figure out why. Nothing had gone wrong all day, and she had even found a small tae stem floating perfectly vertical in her morning tea. It was a sign of good luck, so why did she feel so pissed off?
Loneliness, it finally found her. It wanted her soul. It was blue, just like her hair. It was anger and resentment, jealousy and pride. It was eating at her heart. Soon, soon, it would fester and grow even larger within her heart. Then she would be lost in torment. If her mind survived then it would be a miracle, but her state of mind was long gone. It was too late and only a matter of time before she exploded. Ami was a walking time bomb. Only she didn't know it. Soon she would let out all her pent up emotions and someone would pay.
Pluto observed her orb and began to cry. This would hurt the most. She knew she could not stop it, but she knew that Ami might end up killing two birds with one stone. She kept telling herself that it would turn out good in the end and that it was for the good of the future, but that did nothing to ease her aching her heart. All she could do was watch them, watch them fade.
"Would it be ok?"
"I don't see why not."
"But what if Makoto found out."
"So what?"
"I mean, Makoto… She…"
"Water and lighting right. That's funny Ami."
"Really! I don't want her to know!"
"Why? Are you embarrassed?"
"No…"
"Yes you are! Look your blushing!"
"I can't help that!"
"Sure you can."
"Just stop…"
"Wimp."
"Don't call me that."
"You are a wimp. A little perfect, princess, wimp."
"Princess?"
"Yeah. Living in that high rise apartment with everything your heart could desire."
"I…"
"You want this don't you?"
"Yes…"
"I wish I could be you."
"You do?"
"Yeah."
"But what about…"
"The others? Please! I can't do this with them."
"Stop!"
"Chill Ami, you called me. Remember?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
"So?"
"I'm not like her."
"… I know."
"Don't cry…"
"I'm not. I don't cry. I'm no sissy."
"Right."
"Don't screw around Ami!"
"I'm not!"
"Right… So tell me…"
"What?"
"What brought this on?"
"I don't know."
"Yes you do."
"I think… when Minako left."
"Oh… You wanted to join her?"
"No… but I was jealous. I wish I were gone."
"Oh… Is life really so bad?"
"Mine is."
"How? You have nothing to worry about."
"I get lonely."
"That's why you called me?"
"Yeah. I need… I need you."
"You're blushing again."
"I cannot help it."
"So you love me?"
"I don't know. I think I might."
"I don't want you to love me."
"Oh…"
"You can't love me like she did."
"I can try. If it means not being lonely I can try."
"…No, you can't."
"Wait! Where are you going?"
"Home."
"Why? I thought…"
"I don't see it?"
"What?"
"I don't see it Ami. I don't see you this way?"
"What?"
"Look, I see you as sweet, innocent, Ami who finds intelligent solutions to her problems. This isn't you. Sorry."
"So am I…"
"Huh."
"I'm sorry I tried to confide in you!"
"Now you're getting mad."
"Shut up! The door is that way."
"Hell, I know!"
"Then go. Don't come crying to me when you feel the same way."
"Ha!"
"Out! Now!"
"I'm going. Your acting like a shrew, a crazy girlfriend even."
"I hate you."
"Do you? Ami, look I don't-"
"OUT!" After that there was silence, as Ami lay huddled in the dark under the cool sheets. She was getting desperate. She needed to let it out, but where and how? She thrashed around in her bed. Her mom was working late again. She needed something. God, it was tearing her apart.
She touched the inside of her thigh and inched her fingers upward. Her breath came short and she stopped. No, she thought, I won't resort to that. No, I must maintain my dignity. God someone help me!
She rolled out of bed and stumbled in the kitchen. She ravaged the refrigerator and cabinets. I figures that the goody, goody Minzo family wouldn't have a single bottle of sake in the house, not even for cooking. She stumbled around the kitchen and picked up the paring knife that had been left there after preparing her dinner. She held it up in the darkness and walked into the living room with it. She watched the moon light dance on the sharp blade and smiled before plunging the tip of the blade into her perfect, princess, skin.
Book 2: I want for nothing
Chapter 2
Picnic weather, that's what it was. It was perfect picnic weather. That's what Ami said after watching Jungle wa itsumo Hale nochi Guu on television. She picked up her phone and dialed Makoto's number. The phone rang three times before it was answered by a sleepy voice.
"Moshi moshi…" came Makoto's voice, groggy and full of sleep.
"Oh, sorry Makoto, did I wake you?" Ami smiled. Strange, she thought. She sounded sympathetic to Makoto if she had disturbed her, but at the same time she didn't much care. That had been happening a lot.
"Oh, no you didn't Ami. Uh, what's up?" Makoto said quickly. There was some shuffling in the background.
"Nothing much. I was just looking outside and thought that it would be nice if you and I, and maybe a few of the girls when on a picnic."
"Uh…" Makoto drawled her voice and then there was silence. Ami waited, irritated. That was strange too. She wasn't irritated easily.
"Makoto?"
"Yeah! I mean…." There was more fumbling in the background and Makoto had covered the mouthpiece of the phone, but Ami could clearly hear Makoto tell someone to stop playing around.
"Makoto?"
"Uh, look, Ami I got to go, but I'll call you back in a bit, ok? Then we can talk about that picnic."
"Don't bother," Ami said flatly and hung up the phone. She was angry and she couldn't figure out why. Nothing had gone wrong all day, and she had even found a small tae stem floating perfectly vertical in her morning tea. It was a sign of good luck, so why did she feel so pissed off?
Loneliness, it finally found her. It wanted her soul. It was blue, just like her hair. It was anger and resentment, jealousy and pride. It was eating at her heart. Soon, soon, it would fester and grow even larger within her heart. Then she would be lost in torment. If her mind survived then it would be a miracle, but her state of mind was long gone. It was too late and only a matter of time before she exploded. Ami was a walking time bomb. Only she didn't know it. Soon she would let out all her pent up emotions and someone would pay.
Pluto observed her orb and began to cry. This would hurt the most. She knew she could not stop it, but she knew that Ami might end up killing two birds with one stone. She kept telling herself that it would turn out good in the end and that it was for the good of the future, but that did nothing to ease her aching her heart. All she could do was watch them, watch them fade.
"Would it be ok?"
"I don't see why not."
"But what if Makoto found out."
"So what?"
"I mean, Makoto… She…"
"Water and lighting right. That's funny Ami."
"Really! I don't want her to know!"
"Why? Are you embarrassed?"
"No…"
"Yes you are! Look your blushing!"
"I can't help that!"
"Sure you can."
"Just stop…"
"Wimp."
"Don't call me that."
"You are a wimp. A little perfect, princess, wimp."
"Princess?"
"Yeah. Living in that high rise apartment with everything your heart could desire."
"I…"
"You want this don't you?"
"Yes…"
"I wish I could be you."
"You do?"
"Yeah."
"But what about…"
"The others? Please! I can't do this with them."
"Stop!"
"Chill Ami, you called me. Remember?"
"Yeah, yeah, I know."
"So?"
"I'm not like her."
"… I know."
"Don't cry…"
"I'm not. I don't cry. I'm no sissy."
"Right."
"Don't screw around Ami!"
"I'm not!"
"Right… So tell me…"
"What?"
"What brought this on?"
"I don't know."
"Yes you do."
"I think… when Minako left."
"Oh… You wanted to join her?"
"No… but I was jealous. I wish I were gone."
"Oh… Is life really so bad?"
"Mine is."
"How? You have nothing to worry about."
"I get lonely."
"That's why you called me?"
"Yeah. I need… I need you."
"You're blushing again."
"I cannot help it."
"So you love me?"
"I don't know. I think I might."
"I don't want you to love me."
"Oh…"
"You can't love me like she did."
"I can try. If it means not being lonely I can try."
"…No, you can't."
"Wait! Where are you going?"
"Home."
"Why? I thought…"
"I don't see it?"
"What?"
"I don't see it Ami. I don't see you this way?"
"What?"
"Look, I see you as sweet, innocent, Ami who finds intelligent solutions to her problems. This isn't you. Sorry."
"So am I…"
"Huh."
"I'm sorry I tried to confide in you!"
"Now you're getting mad."
"Shut up! The door is that way."
"Hell, I know!"
"Then go. Don't come crying to me when you feel the same way."
"Ha!"
"Out! Now!"
"I'm going. Your acting like a shrew, a crazy girlfriend even."
"I hate you."
"Do you? Ami, look I don't-"
"OUT!" After that there was silence, as Ami lay huddled in the dark under the cool sheets. She was getting desperate. She needed to let it out, but where and how? She thrashed around in her bed. Her mom was working late again. She needed something. God, it was tearing her apart.
She touched the inside of her thigh and inched her fingers upward. Her breath came short and she stopped. No, she thought, I won't resort to that. No, I must maintain my dignity. God someone help me!
She rolled out of bed and stumbled in the kitchen. She ravaged the refrigerator and cabinets. I figures that the goody, goody Minzo family wouldn't have a single bottle of sake in the house, not even for cooking. She stumbled around the kitchen and picked up the paring knife that had been left there after preparing her dinner. She held it up in the darkness and walked into the living room with it. She watched the moon light dance on the sharp blade and smiled before plunging the tip of the blade into her perfect, princess, skin.