Disclaimer: I don't own anything related to the O.C.
AN: Starts immediately after the last episode in Mexico.
Ryan hadn't spoken since the Cohens and the Coopers had arrived at the hospital. After finding Marissa unconscious and unresponsive in the alley, the three teenagers had rushed her to the hospital and called their homes. Summer had cried for the first hour that they waited, not letting Seth or Ryan comfort her and demanding to see Marissa. Finally, she allowed Seth to take her for a walk down the street from the hospital and she had been calm since. They waited alone for several hours until the 'adults' arrived. Kirsten had embraced Seth but glared at Ryan after he did not rush to their side. Ryan is still in a state of shock.
He's standing outside the hospital smoking a cigarette that he found in Marissa's purse. Slowly, he leans against the wall and slumps to a sitting position.
"Hey," Summer surprises him. She sits down beside him on the cement.
"Hey," Ryan responds.
Summer is quiet. After a beat, Ryan puts his arm around her. She is shaking.
"She's a strong girl…" Ryan sighs. "She'll make it through…"
"It's my fault…they were my mom's painkillers…if she wouldn't have found them…" Summer whispers, stricken.
"Summer. This was Marissa's decision. It's not your fault, there was nothing you could do. This is not your fault…" Ryan says, rubbing her back.
Summer plucks his cigarette from his fingers and inhales deeply. "Thanks."
"No problem. Marissa's going to need her friends to be strong for her, she wouldn't want you blaming yourself," Ryan adds.
"You don't say much but you make sense when you do," She says, tilting her head as she looks at him. He takes his cigarette back.
Summer watches him, quietly, noting that he is shaking. "Are you okay, Ryan?"
"Yeah…" He answers immediately.
"We're friends now, right?"
Ryan nods.
"Are you okay?"
Ryan lowers his voice to a whisper. "My mom tried to kill herself once. The same way Marissa did tonight. Her lips were blue and she wasn't breathing…" Summer nods slowly. "It scared the hell out of me. Just like tonight. I…" He shakes his head. "It's like a bad dream."
"I just don't understand what she was thinking," Summer says, her eyes filling with tears again.
"She's scared. Everything she's ever had faith in is going away. Her family, her boyfriend, all the things that are familiar to her are changing…" Ryan sighs.
"But damn, Ryan, didn't your mother abandon you? Shit gets bad, but it always gets better…" Summer replies.
"It usually gets worse before it gets better. You have to be able to hit rock bottom before you can get back up. I don't know what I would have done if the Cohens hadn't taken me in…" Ryan shudders. "We just have to focus on Marissa…"
"Hey," Seth says, walking outside. He sits down on the sidewalk beside Summer.
"Any news?" Summer asks, giving him a weak smile.
"She's stable. They pumped her stomach and they're watching her. She's still unconscious. Her mom's with her. Her mom refuses to let her dad see her. They're arguing in there so I came to find you guys," Seth explains.
"Marissa adores her dad. She would want to know that he's here. There's no telling what Julie will say to her when she wakes up," Summer admits.
"Man, you okay?" Seth asks, leaning forward to get a closer look at Ryan.
"Yeah. I'm okay," Ryan replies.
"I'm learning how to speak 'Ryan'. That means, no, he's shaken up but he's too damn stubborn to say anything," Summer snorts.
"I said I'm okay. That means I'm okay," Ryan states, quietly. "I'm worried about Marissa."
"Yeah," Seth nods. Ryan lights a fresh cigarette and the three worried teenagers sit in silence.
They hear raised voices and glance over to the door and see Jimmy, Julie, Sandy and Kirsten walk out. Kirsten and Sandy are trying to calm Julie who is screaming at Jimmy.
"This is your fault! You did this to my baby!" Julie yells.
"My fault? You agreed that I should move out while she was in Mexico!" Jimmy retorts, angrily.
They continue arguing.
Ryan, Seth and Summer watch in silence. The adults don't notice their presence.
"Come on," Ryan says suddenly, standing up. He leads Summer and Seth back into the hospital. Several nurses as well as security are at the nurses' station outside Marissa's room.
"Hang on a second, guys…" Ryan walks away from Seth and Summer for a moment and starts talking to the nurses. He raises his voice from a whisper for only a second. "Do you really think she should wake up right now all alone?"
Seth glances at Summer, curious.
A few minutes later, Ryan returns. "Let's go. They'll let us sit with her."
"How'd you manage that?" Summer whispers.
"Security had to make her parents go outside because they were arguing. I told them that I didn't think she should wake up alone…she shouldn't have to hear her parents fighting like that right now, either," Ryan adds. They tiptoe into Marissa's room.
She looks better than the last time they saw her, limp and unresponsive in Ryan's arms. There is more color in her skin and she has an I.V. in her hand. She looks peaceful.
Ryan lets Summer sit beside the bed. Summer takes Marissa's unhindered hand and lays her head against it. Seth sits down in the other available chair and Ryan stands, his eyes glued on Marissa's still form.
"She's going to be okay," Ryan says, walking over and putting a hand on Summer's back.
"I can't believe her parents can't pull it together and be with her…" Seth murmurs.
"Marissa…please wake up…" Summer says, quietly. "Please."
Surprising them all, Marissa opens her eyes and looks over at her. "Summer?" She murmurs.
"Coop, thank god…you scared the shit out of me…" Summer says, relieved. She smiles widely.
"What…oh god…" Marissa blinks sleep out of her eyes before realization dawns on her face.
"You're in the hospital, Coop…" Summer says, sensing that she is about to panic.
"Oh god…" She sits up and starts to panic. Ryan goes to her side.
"Hey. Everything's okay, Marissa…" He says. She immediately clings to him, starting to cry. "Don't cry, it's not good for your complexion, or that's what Summer tells me…" He says.
Marissa laughs quietly through her sobs, still clinging to him.
"Shh…you need to relax, Marissa, everything's okay…look at me…you're alright, okay?" Ryan pulls away so he can look at her. She nods and he hugs her tightly against him again.
"Where am I?" She asks, tears still flowing down her face but more composed.
"A hospital right across the border. Your parents are here…"
"My parents?"
"You almost died, Marissa," Seth says, quietly.
"Do you want me to get them?" Summer asks.
"No! I don't want to see them…" Marissa protests. "They'll be so upset with me…"
"Marissa, nobody's upset with you, just worried. Okay? At least let them know you're okay…" Ryan says, his voice soothing.
She shakes her head. "No…"
"Marissa, please. They're worried sick," Summer urges.
She sighs. "Will you stay with me?" She meets Ryan's gaze, desperately.
"Whatever you need," Ryan replies.
"We'll get your parents," Seth says, leading Summer out of the room. They don't see the Coopers in the waiting area and follow the sound of yelling outside to the parking lot where they last saw the adults.
Jimmy and Julie are still yelling at each other while Sandy and Kirsten stand a few feet away, their faces drawn with worry. Kirsten visibly relaxes when she spots Seth.
"Hey. Do you think you guys can take a minute and act like grown ups?" Seth says, stopping the Coopers' argument cold. "Your daughter is in there, dying and you guys are too caught up in your own drama to care."
Summer joins in, ignoring the flushed, embarrassed looks on their faces. "You should both be ashamed. You left her alone in there and now you have to explain why you weren't concerned enough to be there when she woke up."
"She's awake?" Jimmy demands.
"Yeah, she's awake and if either one of you upset her, you'll answer to me," Summer replies, quickly.
"They're right, guys. Go see your daughter," Kirsten urges.
Summer leads Julie and Jimmy back into the hospital and Seth joins his parents.
"Where's Ryan?" Sandy questions.
"He's with Marissa. She didn't want him to leave her," Seth explains.
"He looked a little shaken," Kirsten says.
"I think we're all a little shaken. Marissa was half-dead in an alley in Tijuana," Seth responds.
"What happened, Seth? How'd this happen?" Sandy asks.
"We knew she was upset…her dad called her and told her that he was getting divorced. Then at the club, she caught Luke with Holly," Seth sighs.
"Poor girl…" Kirsten replies.
"She ran out on Summer and we went looking for her. We found her unconscious and called you guys as soon as we got here."
"At least you were here to take care of her," Kirsten says.
"Summer and I, we didn't know what to do. Ryan carried her and kept watch over her until we got her here," Seth explains.
"Let's go inside," Sandy says.
Julie and Jimmy are comforting Marissa without arguing. She is gripping Ryan's hand desperately.
"Marissa, I'm going to give you a minute with your parents…" He whispers.
She starts to protest but glances at her father and nods.
"I'll be right outside," Ryan promises. He releases her hand and steps outside, letting Jimmy take her hand.
Outside the room, he leans against the wall, deflated. Summer and Seth spot him from across the hall in the waiting room.
Ryan slides to the floor, covering his face with his hands.
"Ry?" Seth puts a hand on his shoulder.
He doesn't raise his head. "It's so hard to look at her and hide how fucking scare I am…she almost died…"
"But she didn't," Summer says quietly.
"But she wanted to. That's what scares me…" Ryan whispers.
"Everything okay?" Kirsten approaches, seeing them gathered.
Ryan stands up quickly, the emotion on his face vanishing, but not before she spots it.
"Ryan?" She embraces him.
"Hey," He replies, returning her hug stiffly.
"Why don't we go for a walk? Get something to eat?" Kirsten urges. "You all must be exhausted."
"I don't want to go too far in case the Coopers start yelling again," Ryan replies.
"Yeah, no thanks, I'm fine here, too, Mrs. Cohen," Summer adds.
Seth and I will bring you guys something…" She says, leading Seth away.
"Smoke?" Summer whispers.
"Definitely," Ryan answers. They sneak outside and light cigarettes.
"Hey, Ryan. I want to say I'm sorry. I thought…I thought a lot of things about you but I was wrong," Summer says.
"Don't apologize. I didn't like you either," Ryan replies.
"Hey," She smiles, shoving him lightly. "No, really. You've really been there for Marissa, even though she's been like, unattainable for you ," Summer says.
"She's a friend. I don't have too many of those," Ryan replies.
"She's going to be okay," Summer nods.
"Yeah. She's okay," Ryan agrees.
They go back inside and approach her door. Ryan hears his name and Summer grabs his arm when she recognizes Marissa's sobs.
Ryan opens the door. Julie and Jimmy are arguing quietly in the corner, oblivious to Marissa.
Ryan goes to Marissa and she embraces him, desperately. He smoothes her hair, whispering to her.
"Out. Now. Pull yourselves together, outside," Summer orders, shoving Jimmy and Julie from the room.
"Baby, look at me…you're more important than your parents. Ignore them. Everything's okay, okay?" Ryan whispers.
"But…" Marissa chokes.
""Do you trust me?" Ryan asks.
She nods. "Yeah, Ryan…okay…"
"Forget about your parents. Forget about Luke. You need to rest, alright?" Ryan soothes. "Summer and I are right here."
"And you'll stay with me?" She glances at Summer, panicked.
"As long as you let us, honey. You always get tired of me after a couple of hours, though…" Summer says.
"Really? You, Summer?" Ryan jokes.
Marissa smiles at her friends teases as Summer sticks out her tongue at him.
Marissa starts to cry.
"Shh…shh…" Ryan soothes.
"I'm sorry…" Marissa cries.
"It's okay, sweetie," Summer says. "Just rest, you can't fix anything until you get some rest and we can sit down and figure things out…"
She keeps crying but it gets softer. Ryan glances at Summer over Marissa's shoulder with a helpless expression on his face.
Ryan feels her breathing level out and he lowers her to the bed. She is asleep.
"Poor Coop," Summer whispers, brushing hair out of her face.
Jimmy steps into the room
"She's sleeping. She wants us to stay with her," Summer announces quietly.
"It's late. You guys can come back first thing in the morning," Jimmy says.
Marissa opens her eyes, drowsy. "Daddy?"
"I'm right here," He says, going to her side. She holds tight to Ryan's hand so her father can't take it.
"I need Ryan and Summer to stay," Marissa says. "Please."
"Okay," He nods, after a long pause.
Jimmy glances at Ryan. "Kirsten has some food for you guys out there. I'll stay with her."
Ryan opens his mouth to protest, but Marissa speaks. "It's okay. Just come right back."
"Okay," Summer says, pulling Ryan slowly from the room.
"Ryan?" Kirsten's voice startles him and Summer puts a hand on his arm.
"It's okay. Let's eat, Ryan, alright? They're worried about you," Summer says.
"Where are your parents, Summer?" Ryan asks, stopping her.
"Maui? The Mediterranean? Something that starts with an 'm'," She replies.
He links arms with her, impulsively. "Well, I guess we'll have to adopt you for the weekend, too."
She smiles. "Okay, Chino."
"I can't use my nickname for you, Summer," Ryan winks.
Seth gives them a curious look when they enter the waiting room, steadying each other.
Ryan sits down, quiet. Seth takes the seat beside him, holding a bag of takeout. Ryan leans forward, starting to shake. He puts his face in his hands. Seth puts a hand on his shoulder.
"Ryan, Marissa's going to be fine," Sandy says, surprised at the interaction between the teenagers.
"You haven't seen her," Ryan mumbles.
"Marissa has a lot of things on her mind, Ryan, you can't…" Sandy starts.
Summer stops him with a glance, taking the unoccupied seat beside Ryan. "She's okay, Ryan. She's alive. You saw her. She didn't mean it."
"She's alive, Ryan. That's all that matters," Seth agrees.
"You should eat something if you're going to be staying," Kirsten says, quietly.
Ryan glances up. He wasn't expecting to need to ask permission. "Is it okay for me to stay?"
"Marissa needs her friends around her. Julie left to go to Kaitlyn and Jimmy's a wreck," Sandy says. "But you need to eat something."
Ryan takes the bag from Seth. He takes out a burrito, tears it in half and hands one half to Summer, who accepts it.
"Summer, have you called your parents?" Kirsten asks.
"Yes. They're away on business but I called their public relations guy and explained what happened," Summer replies, seriously.
"Oh. Okay," Kirsten replies.
Ryan puts down his burrito after only a couple of bites. He gets up and slowly makes his way to the hall. Seth follows him to the bathroom.
Ryan goes into a stall and vomits. Seth enters and hears him being sick.
"Ryan? You okay in there?" Seth asks, quietly.
The toilet flushes and Ryan emerges, pale. "I really wasn't hungry." He goes to the sink and washes his face.
"How are you doing?" Seth asks.
"Do I look like I'm losing it?" Ryan asks, looking at himself in the mirror.
"No…" Seth answers, confused.
"'Cause I am." Ryan hesitates. "You know…I try to act like I'm stone. Unbreakable. Rock solid. But I feel like I'm just as shattered as Marissa."
"Marissa just downed a bottle of painkillers and passed out in an alley. You're not that shattered, Ryan."
"I have to pull it together," Ryan nods.
"Damn, Ryan, you lost your mom, everything you had and you're still strong. Don't disappoint my hero image of you," Seth jokes.
Ryan smiles. "Let's go. I need a cup of coffee."
"Lead on," Seth agrees.
Kirsten and Sandy take Jimmy to a hotel. Ryan, Summer and Seth stay beside Marissa. Summer and Seth sleep, exhausted, but Ryan only dozes fitfully, his hand clenched tightly with Marissa's . She cries out whenever he tries to pull away.
Ryan opens his eyes and sees Marissa looking at him.
"I'm sorry, Ryan. You're so tired," She says, sadly.
"I just want you to be okay. I'm fine," He replies.
"I'm better," Marissa whispers.
"Are you? Or are you just humoring us until you can get out and try again?" He asks, quietly.
"Ryan…I didn't mean…I wasn't trying to kill myself," She replies.
"What were you trying to do?" Ryan questions.
"Escape, I guess…I didn't know what I was doing. I was trying to make it stop," She says.
"You scared me," Ryan admits.
"You're taking care of me. Thank you."
"I wish you could take care of yourself, baby," Ryan brushes a strand of hair out of her face. "You're so special. Beautiful. You're worth so much more than this, Marissa. You shouldn't be here."
"You look so tired…" She sighs.
"I'm not going anywhere, Marissa," He says.
"Thanks," She smiles, closing her eyes.
When Summer wakes up the next day, she nudges Seth awake and puts her finger to her lips. She points to the bed.
Marissa is running her fingers through Ryan's hair, totally focused on his sleeping form. His head is lying on the edge of the bed.
"Morning, guys," Marissa whispers, looking better. She smiles at them.
"You look like you're feeling better," Summer whispers.
"I really am. I don't think Ryan's gotten any sleep. He feels a little hot to me…"
"Did you just say I was hot?" Ryan mumbles.
"Morning," Marissa smiles.
"What time is it?" Ryan questions.
"Around eight, I think," Summer answers.
"What day is it?" Ryan adds.
"Saturday," Seth answers.
"School starts on Monday," Marissa gasps.
The room is quiet.
"We should have some good stories to tell about our roadtrip," Summer smiles.
"Strippers," Seth agrees.
"Margaritas," Summer adds.
"I saw J.Lo at the club," Ryan joins in.
"Stop it, guys," Marissa says. "You don't have to lie for me."
"I'm trying to improve my reputation, Marissa. Please, give me this," Seth grins.
Marissa laughs despite herself.
"He's serious," Ryan nods.
The teenagers are laughing when the door swings open and Jimmy and Kirsten walk in.
"You're looking better," Jimmy smiles, going to Marissa's side. "The doctors are going to release you today. You've got a doctor's appointment tomorrow in Newport."
"Ryan? Can you guys go outside for a minute? I want to talk to my dad," Marissa says.
"Okay," Ryan agrees, standing up. Outside, Sandy is waiting with Julie.
"Thanks for staying with her. How is she?" Julie asks Summer.
"She's better," Summer responds.
Kirsten turns to Ryan. "Did you sleep at all?"
"A little," Ryan replies.
"When they release her, we'll take you guys home," Sandy says.
Jimmy emerges. "She wants to say goodbye to the kids."
Ryan, Summer and Seth say goodbye to Marissa who promises to call them later.
Kirsten, Sandy and the teenagers go outside to the Range Rover and Sandy's car.
Ryan breaks away from them, sick.
"You okay?" Kirsten goes to his side.
"I thought it was just nerves…but I think I'm sick," Ryan admits, slowly slumping to his knees.
"He hasn't eaten or slept," Summer whispers to Seth. Sandy overhears her.
"Let's get you guys home…" Sandy says. "Ryan, you can ride with me so you can rest."
Ryan stands up, letting Kirsten steady him. "Just lie down," She says, opening the door for him.
Summer and Seth fall asleep on the ride home. Ryan dozes but doesn't rest.
Ryan stays in bed all day, sleeping fitfully until his fever breaks Sunday morning.
Sunday night, he gets up, feeling better. He gets up to go to the door and finds Summer and Marissa standing outside the pool house.
"Hey."
"Hey. Seth said you were sick," Summer smiles.
"I'm better. How are you?" Ryan asks Marissa.
"Better," She smiles.
"Come in," Ryan says, holding open the door.
"We can't stay. We have school tomorrow."
"Me, too. But it's early," He adds.
"Okay," Summer agrees, following Marissa inside. Seth joins them.
Marissa tells them about her weekly therapy sessions and temporary medication. They all offer their encouragement. Around 9, Kirsten brings out some food for Ryan and is surprised to hear laughter from the pool house.
Ryan and Seth are watching Summer and Marissa fail miserably at PS2. Kirsten sends the girls home and puts her boys to bed.