Disclaimers: Been there, done that. If you still aren't aware of the fact
that I don't own anything mentioned that you've HEARD of before, I suggest
therapy. Lots and lots of therapy.
Note: Terribly sorry if you feel that my portrayals of the characters are off... These are my interpretations of what I think they would REALLY act like, if they were actually people, instead of sprites on a TV screen.
Chapter 4
Not in Kansas Anymore
"If your father knew about this latest little bird of yours, Princess..."
A voice pierced the darkness that held me in its grasp.
"You will not TELL him, dear Impa? I beg of you!"
"Princess, you know not if this child bears ill wishes to the crown." I struggled upward, clawing at the black void. Was I dead, then? I reflected vaguely that the sadness that had gripped my mind and heart had faded, and I felt oddly purified. ~I wonder if this is heaven?~
"Look, Impa! He awakens!" The voice that spoke was soft, gentle, and regal. What happened? I opened my eyes, and found myself staring into the eyes of a girl of about twenty or so. I gasped softly. She looked oddly familiar, but... no, that was impossible. I must've hit my head, or something. "Sirrah, I know not where you hail from, but your garb is unlike any I have ever seen."
"Your Highness, allow the boy a moment to regain his senses!" My attention was drawn to the strangely dressed woman in the corner. I assumed it was Impa. A freakish coincidence, I'm sure.
"I'm in heaven?" There was a dull pain behind my eyes. Well, at least I knew it wasn't a dream.
"Heaven?" The blond girl laughed. "Nay, you are in the Kingdom of Hyrule!" And I did what any self-respecting sane person would do. I laughed. The girl... Princess Zelda, from the looks of her, widened her eyes and stepped back.
"Did Amy put you up to this?" I was rationalizing. Not a good sign.
"Amy? I know no such person." A beat. "Mayhap you hit your head?" Sure. I hit my head, and I'm hallucinating. I tried to remember what had happened, but I could remember only feverish bits of scattered dreams. I had killed myself, but now... I glanced at my wrists. Faded scars ran down either side, but they were old, at least a year. 'Zelda' must have caught my scrutiny of my battle wounds because she grinned. "I did heal you, good sir. It is a talent those of royal blood have long possessed. I am Zelda, Princess of Hyrule, and this is my nurse and companion, Impa of the Sheikah. And now, if I may, might I inquire as to your name?"
"Colt... My name is Colt." I winced. I felt naked without a title of some sort. So, I made one up. What harm could it do to play along with the little game until I could blow the lid off, after all? "Colt of the Clan Scorpia." I grinned at my own cleverness. I bared my left shoulder, displaying a small tattoo of a scorpion. I had gotten it one night on a dare. Lance had an exact replica on his right shoulder. I winced. He HAD had an exact replica. I had to stop thinking of him in present tense, unless I wanted to dance with another knife. But the Princess paid no attention to my pause.
"The Clan Scorpia? I have not heard of such a clan. Are you from Holdrum?" Holdrum? I almost let out another fit of laughter. These guys were good. But it was getting old.
"No," I corrected. "I'm from California. And if you'll excuse me, I've got to many things to do to hang with the rejects from the Final Fantasy movie." I climbed out of the bed I had been sitting in, to discover that I was fully dressed. I was wearing a faded pair of jeans and an orange T-shirt. Someone had dressed me in my own clothing. I suddenly wondered how long I'd been out of commission. The scars led me to believe I had been in a coma. But if that was the case, how long had the actors been waiting? Kind of elaborate for a joke. Unless... No. I ran to the window. I was in a real castle. ~Ireland~ I thought. ~There are plenty of castles in Ireland.~
"Are you ill, Sir Colt of Clan Scorpia?" Zelda had come up behind me. "Mayhap you should rest, until you have fully regained your strength." My strength? "I have had dreams of the scorpion clad warrior coming to our aid in this time of peril." Okay, we've now CROSSED the threshold of weirdness. Me and my big mouth. Had to have a title, didn't ya? Well, you've gonna get it now.
"I think you have the wrong guy. I'm not any 'Scorpion Clad Whatever' and I'm not a warrior... I'm spineless and pathetic." My stomach turned at that one, but it was true.
"I am sure you are the one, Sir Colt of Clan Scorpia. You have the marking! You say you are weak, and yet I did heal battle wounds..." I didn't bother to tell her that I had made those "battle" wounds. She seemed so... serious. Like she actually believed in what she was saying.
"Your Highness..." Impa spoke softly. I had almost forgotten she was there. "His Majesty approaches your bedchambers. I suggest Sir Colt should make haste and depart."
"Depart? Where am I supposed to go? If this IS Hyrule, I don't know my way..." Wait. Yes, I do. All those years of playing stupid video games were FINALLY paying off. Who says gaming doesn't improve your brain.
"Go to Kakariko Village. The Sheikah reside there, and will surely give you shelter while her royal highness and I discover what must be done to thwart the terror growing in the north." She handed me an envelope. "Take this letter to the gatekeeper of the village and he shall allow you entry. And, take this sword, to defend you from the monsters that grow restless outside the city walls." She handed me something that was either a short sword, or a big dagger. Either way, I didn't know how to use it. Then, she did something that surprised me. She handed me my backpack. "This we found lying next to you. I believe it will help you on your journey. Go now, Sir Colt, and God-speed!" With that, she pushed me out the window.
The fall wasn't as far as it looked, and the only real wound was to my pride and my sanity. But at this point, there wasn't much I could do. So, I started off in the direction of Kakariko Village.
Note: Terribly sorry if you feel that my portrayals of the characters are off... These are my interpretations of what I think they would REALLY act like, if they were actually people, instead of sprites on a TV screen.
Chapter 4
Not in Kansas Anymore
"If your father knew about this latest little bird of yours, Princess..."
A voice pierced the darkness that held me in its grasp.
"You will not TELL him, dear Impa? I beg of you!"
"Princess, you know not if this child bears ill wishes to the crown." I struggled upward, clawing at the black void. Was I dead, then? I reflected vaguely that the sadness that had gripped my mind and heart had faded, and I felt oddly purified. ~I wonder if this is heaven?~
"Look, Impa! He awakens!" The voice that spoke was soft, gentle, and regal. What happened? I opened my eyes, and found myself staring into the eyes of a girl of about twenty or so. I gasped softly. She looked oddly familiar, but... no, that was impossible. I must've hit my head, or something. "Sirrah, I know not where you hail from, but your garb is unlike any I have ever seen."
"Your Highness, allow the boy a moment to regain his senses!" My attention was drawn to the strangely dressed woman in the corner. I assumed it was Impa. A freakish coincidence, I'm sure.
"I'm in heaven?" There was a dull pain behind my eyes. Well, at least I knew it wasn't a dream.
"Heaven?" The blond girl laughed. "Nay, you are in the Kingdom of Hyrule!" And I did what any self-respecting sane person would do. I laughed. The girl... Princess Zelda, from the looks of her, widened her eyes and stepped back.
"Did Amy put you up to this?" I was rationalizing. Not a good sign.
"Amy? I know no such person." A beat. "Mayhap you hit your head?" Sure. I hit my head, and I'm hallucinating. I tried to remember what had happened, but I could remember only feverish bits of scattered dreams. I had killed myself, but now... I glanced at my wrists. Faded scars ran down either side, but they were old, at least a year. 'Zelda' must have caught my scrutiny of my battle wounds because she grinned. "I did heal you, good sir. It is a talent those of royal blood have long possessed. I am Zelda, Princess of Hyrule, and this is my nurse and companion, Impa of the Sheikah. And now, if I may, might I inquire as to your name?"
"Colt... My name is Colt." I winced. I felt naked without a title of some sort. So, I made one up. What harm could it do to play along with the little game until I could blow the lid off, after all? "Colt of the Clan Scorpia." I grinned at my own cleverness. I bared my left shoulder, displaying a small tattoo of a scorpion. I had gotten it one night on a dare. Lance had an exact replica on his right shoulder. I winced. He HAD had an exact replica. I had to stop thinking of him in present tense, unless I wanted to dance with another knife. But the Princess paid no attention to my pause.
"The Clan Scorpia? I have not heard of such a clan. Are you from Holdrum?" Holdrum? I almost let out another fit of laughter. These guys were good. But it was getting old.
"No," I corrected. "I'm from California. And if you'll excuse me, I've got to many things to do to hang with the rejects from the Final Fantasy movie." I climbed out of the bed I had been sitting in, to discover that I was fully dressed. I was wearing a faded pair of jeans and an orange T-shirt. Someone had dressed me in my own clothing. I suddenly wondered how long I'd been out of commission. The scars led me to believe I had been in a coma. But if that was the case, how long had the actors been waiting? Kind of elaborate for a joke. Unless... No. I ran to the window. I was in a real castle. ~Ireland~ I thought. ~There are plenty of castles in Ireland.~
"Are you ill, Sir Colt of Clan Scorpia?" Zelda had come up behind me. "Mayhap you should rest, until you have fully regained your strength." My strength? "I have had dreams of the scorpion clad warrior coming to our aid in this time of peril." Okay, we've now CROSSED the threshold of weirdness. Me and my big mouth. Had to have a title, didn't ya? Well, you've gonna get it now.
"I think you have the wrong guy. I'm not any 'Scorpion Clad Whatever' and I'm not a warrior... I'm spineless and pathetic." My stomach turned at that one, but it was true.
"I am sure you are the one, Sir Colt of Clan Scorpia. You have the marking! You say you are weak, and yet I did heal battle wounds..." I didn't bother to tell her that I had made those "battle" wounds. She seemed so... serious. Like she actually believed in what she was saying.
"Your Highness..." Impa spoke softly. I had almost forgotten she was there. "His Majesty approaches your bedchambers. I suggest Sir Colt should make haste and depart."
"Depart? Where am I supposed to go? If this IS Hyrule, I don't know my way..." Wait. Yes, I do. All those years of playing stupid video games were FINALLY paying off. Who says gaming doesn't improve your brain.
"Go to Kakariko Village. The Sheikah reside there, and will surely give you shelter while her royal highness and I discover what must be done to thwart the terror growing in the north." She handed me an envelope. "Take this letter to the gatekeeper of the village and he shall allow you entry. And, take this sword, to defend you from the monsters that grow restless outside the city walls." She handed me something that was either a short sword, or a big dagger. Either way, I didn't know how to use it. Then, she did something that surprised me. She handed me my backpack. "This we found lying next to you. I believe it will help you on your journey. Go now, Sir Colt, and God-speed!" With that, she pushed me out the window.
The fall wasn't as far as it looked, and the only real wound was to my pride and my sanity. But at this point, there wasn't much I could do. So, I started off in the direction of Kakariko Village.