Chapter 5

"Ok, Isabelle, not to be ugly or anything, but why is it that whenever you have a party or something to go to with your family, you always take Bill?" Ali complained.

"Because he's my 'date'. He's sweet, and always impresses my family. And, since we're just friends, I don't have to worry about him making a move on me."

"Speaking of, you're wasting your youth away being just friends with boys. We're fourteen years old, and I bet you've never even been kissed," Sydney accused her.

"I have been kissed, thank you very much. And I'd rather waste my youth away with Bill than spend it senselessly snogging any boy who blinks in my direction," Isabelle replied sweetly, with a catty smile.

"Fine, who did you kiss?" Ali crossed her arms.

"People," she said flatly. "No one worth mentioning, ok?"

"Bet it was Bill. All those times you sneak out of the dorm in the middle of the night to pull pranks, and you're going to stand there and tell me that you've never snogged him once?" Sydney prodded.

"Once, but it was a long time ago."

"Really," Ali said wide-eyed. "Details?"

"It was right after Easter holidays our second year. I was upset about something, and one thing led to another. Anyway, we decided to just be friends and put the whole night behind us." Isabelle waived her arm dismissively, and crossed the room to pack her toiletries.

"Whole night? There was a whole night?"

"Ali, you read too much into things, honestly." She closed her trunk with a flourish. "There. That should last me the weekend. I hope."

Isabelle dragged her small trunk out of the dorm room and down the staircase, where Bill was waiting for her.

"Ready?" she asked. She gave a very mean look to Ali and Sydney, who were giggling.

"Yep," he replied.

They quickly left Gryffindor Tower, and took a shortcut to Hogsmeade, courtesy of the Marauder's Map. After checking in their baggage at the train station, they spent the afternoon looking around the town, which was festively decorated for Halloween.

"This is going to be such a cool party," Isabelle exclaimed as they boarded the train.

Bill took out a roll of parchment that must've been at least two feet long. "Mum outdid herself with instructions this time, since we're sure to make the papers. Did I tell you that she's pregnant, again?"

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"Yeah, she's due in March sometime. I seriously think Dad needs a hobby."

"Bill! What an awful thing to say. Besides, big families are wonderful."

"If you say so. Fred and George are like twin tornadoes of destruction. I'm sure this next one won't be much better," he said sourly.

"I think you're overreacting."

He rolled his eyes and changed the subject. Isabelle really didn't know what a pain having a huge family was, he decided. They laughed and joked until the train pulled into King's Cross Station.

"Who's supposed to meet us?" Bill asked.

"No one," she said excitedly. "Lily said that we're old enough to find the Leaky Cauldron on our own and take the Floo network to the house."

"Wicked," he replied.

They hurried through King's Cross Station, catching the Tube to the closest station to Diagon Alley. Isabelle laughed at Bill's puzzled face when she bought the Tube tickets, and even harder when he saw a subway train for the first time.

"This is how Muggles travel?" he asked.

"Sure is. Hold on," she warned, as the Tube left the station. Bill nearly fell over. By the time they reached their stop, he was a funny shade of green.

"I think British Rail would've been easier on my stomach," he grumbled.

"Poor baby," she teased, walking into the Leaky Cauldron.

They threw Floo powder into the fireplace, and landed with a thud in the kitchen of the Evans estate. Lily was waiting for them in the kitchen, reading a book.

"Hey," she greeted them, smiling. "How was your trip?"

"Great. Well, I don't think Bill likes the Tube very much," Isabelle snickered.

"To say the least. Hi, Mrs. Potter," he said politely.

"Lily's fine," she replied with a smile, wrinkling her nose.

"Where's James?" Isabelle asked, peeking into the dark living room.

"He and Sirius are working late. Again." Her face fell somewhat. "Anyway, it's late, so why don't you head to bed."

She sensed that Lily wanted to be alone for a while, so she hugged her goodnight and led Bill upstairs. She showed him the spare bedroom, even though he had stayed at the house before on occasion. On her way to her own room at the end of the hallway, she heard a voice call her name. It was Regina's. Groaning, she turned and stuck her head through the partially cracked doorway.

"Hi, Isabelle," she said quietly.

"Hi." She crossed her arms. What could Regina possibly want with her now that couldn't wait until the morning?

"Could you come in for a minute?"

Isabelle trudged into the room, standing at the foot of the bed. "You can sit down, if you want to."

She patted the bed next to her. Isabelle felt like she had been dropped into some sort of alternate reality. Was Regina actually being nice to her? She gingerly sat down. She immediately noticed that like Lily, Regina was reading to pass the time. She saw Isabelle looking at her book.

"Sirius works late most of the time these days. If I didn't read, I'd go nuts worrying about him and James."

"What are you reading?" This is so awkward, Isabelle thought, thinking of any excuse humanly imaginable to make her escape.

"It's a new book called the Thorn Birds. Amazing novel – it explains an awful lot," she replied slowly, staring at the girl intensely.

"Oh?"

"Yes, it does. Anyway, I just wanted to apologize if I've seemed rude to you lately. I don't mean to be." She sighed. "Truce?"

"Truce."

They smiled at each other shyly. After a couple of minutes of conversation, Isabelle realized that Regina wasn't so bad, after all. In fact, she was pretty fun. What an odd night, Isabelle thought as her head hit her pillow.


After looking for Isabelle for at least a half hour, Bill finally found her sitting in the middle of a large grassy area off to one side of the house with her head in her hands. The noises of the party faded as he crossed the grounds to go talk to her. Ever since they arrived at the house yesterday, something had been bothering her, and he wanted to know what it was. She heard his footsteps, and partially lifted her head.

"I'm sorry if I abandoned you. I just needed a break, that's all," she said quietly.

"A break from what?" he asked, puzzled.

"A break from all of this." She flailed her arms, exasperated. "And especially from him."

Bill sat down beside her, and she leaned her head on his shoulder. "Does this 'him' have a name?"

"Of course he does. He's the first thing I think of each morning, and my last thought before I fall asleep. Oh, why do I have to torture myself by loving Sirius Black?"

"What? B-but, he's married," he said lamely.

"Don't act so surprised; it patronizes me. And don't think that I harbor dreams and secret fantasies of being with him, because I don't. That's the awful part – I love him more than life itself, but I know I'll never have him. Not the way I want him, anyway.

Seeing him with her is like having a thousand knives shoved straight into my heart. I know he can't help how he loves her, just like I can't help loving him. But, it doesn't make the pain stop one little bit."

"Maybe you should try to get over him, then," Bill offered helpfully. Isabelle snorted.

"That would be like asking the stars not to shine. Oh, I know we can never be together in my head, but try telling that to my heart! No, I'll love Sirius until the day I die, and there's nothing I can do about it. Ever. He'll never leave Regina.

Even if he did, then what? He'll whisk me off into the sunset somewhere for a fairy-tale ending? It's impossible, because I'm Lily Potter's little sister – could you imagine the scandal? Sirius raised me, for crying out loud! It would disgrace the entire family, and tear us apart. Being with him can never be; it would never be socially permissible.

But, suppose a miracle happens, where Regina magically disappears and being with him isn't taboo. It still doesn't matter, Bill, because Sirius' heart belongs to her, not me. And it always will."

"You don't know that."

"Yes, I do," Isabelle said slowly and emphatically. "And there's no use pretending or hiding from the truth."

"I really wish that you'd stop being so dramatic. There are plenty of decent guys out there, if you'd give them a chance. Shoot, half of the guys at school are dying to go out with you." She smiled, in spite of herself. "You said it yourself – you will never be with Sirius. So, stop feeling sorry for yourself and start living."

"Thanks for the pep talk, Superman," she sniffled.

"Anytime. Now, speaking of living, why don't we go back to the party? If for nothing else, the food's pretty decent."

Bill stood up, dragged Isabelle to her feet, and marched her back to the patio.

It really was a good party, she had to admit. Although most of the guests were far older than she was, it was nice to see her family enjoying themselves. Which seemed like a rarity these days. The dark wizard Voldemort was gaining strength daily, and the Ministry seemed powerless to stop him. It was all the Ministry could do to stay one step behind him, let alone figure out his next move.

But, for this one night, everyone forgot about Death Eaters and impending doom to just have some fun. Instead of having a typical Halloween costume party, Lily and James decided to have an extremely causal, come-as-you are type of affair. Besides, James joked, Remus was scary enough without a costume.

Speaking of Remus, it looked like he was already a little partied out, Isabelle thought with a chuckle, especially since the night was still young. Because he certainly wouldn't dance with a girl who looked like that without being in an altered state of consciousness.

"Hey, can I have a dance with my favorite sister-in-law?" James asked. She smiled.

"I had better be your favorite, considering the alternative. Do I really have to go to Petunia's place for Easter holidays? You know she's dreadful," Isabelle complained.

"Yes, because Lily and I have to go away on Ministry business. We've already been through this," he replied patiently.

"And we'll keep going through it until you give in and let me stay at the castle."

"No. And that's final."

"Fine." She rolled her eyes.

"Will you dance with me anyway?"

"I guess." They walked to the makeshift dance floor.

"So, where did you disappear off to?" James asked conversationally.

"The field where the garage used to be," she answered honestly.

"Really? I wouldn't think that would be your favorite place to go."

"Why's that? A field full of grass and wildflowers never hurt anyone. I think it's rather peaceful and cathartic."

What an odd, but predictable answer, he thought, shaking his head. "And what were you doing there with Bill?"

"Talking."

"Uh-huh."

"I swear, just talking."

"Ok, talking about what?" James teased.

"About this guy I fancy, and how he's in love with someone else," she said sadly, deciding to change the subject. "Speaking of being in love, I can't believe you and Lily have been married for five years already."

"Me either," he replied.

"James?"

"Yes?"

"I, uh, just wanted to thank you for everything you've done for Lily and I over the years. Especially me, since you didn't have to care about me at all. Look at Vernon. But, you do care, and I love you for it. Sorry to get all heavy on you," she apologized.

He smiled, and ruffled her hair, earning a poisonous look. "Love you, too. So, what are you going to do about this guy?"

"Try to forget about him and find someone else," she replied with more conviction than she felt, willing herself not to look at Sirius as she spoke. That would be like writing her feelings in three-foot tall letters on the side of the house.

Not that Sirius realized anyone other than Regina existed on planet earth, she lamented. The way they were dancing could only be described as provocative, well on its way to risqué. James frowned.

"Get a room, for crying out loud," he yelled over to them.

"We have one," Sirius answered with an incredibly wicked grin.

Make that a million knives stabbed into my heart, Isabelle thought miserably.

"Do you mind if I steal your partner for a little while?" Lily asked, taking James' attention away from his sister.

"Not at all," Isabelle replied.

She watched her sister and James dance. They had the kind of love story fairy tales are made out of, she decided, sighing as she walked back to where Bill was standing.

"How about it, Superman? Wanna see if all those dancing lessons I've been giving you have paid off?" she teased. His ears turned slightly pink. "You're not scared, are you?"

"No," he lied.

Isabelle smiled. Bill really was a good dancer. He just needed practice and confidence, so she drug him into the middle of the dance floor. After a few minutes, she was having a great time, in spite of herself.

But, she couldn't help wishing that the night was over, and it was time to go back to school. Much as she loved her sister, being around Sirius was just too painful sometimes, like tonight.


"It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas, everywhere we go," Isabelle hummed, swinging her packages by her side. "Ok, Lil, what's killing your holiday spirit? You've barely said a word all day."

She shook herself out of a trance and looked up at her baby sister, who was already three inches taller than her and still growing. With her hair in a loose bun and perfect posture, Isabelle looked every inch the ballerina.

"I'm sorry. I guess I'm a little preoccupied." She sighed. "It's just that I have this news to tell James, and I'm not quite sure how to tell him, especially considering the unsafe times we're living in. Not that I'm unhappy about it; I'm thrilled, actually."

"Lily, stop babbling. Maybe I can help you if you fill me in a little," Isabelle interrupted.

"Sorry. It, well, that is, James and I, we um, we're, uh--"

"Having a baby," she finished. Lily nodded as Isabelle threw her arms around her sister. "Oh, that's wonderful! I was beginning to wonder if the two of you needed instructions or something."

"Isabelle!" Lily couldn't help laughing at the evil grin on her face. "It's called waiting until you're ready, thank you very much."

"Well, if you're so ready, then why are you nervous about telling James?" Isabelle pointed out.

"I don't know. When you put it that way, I do sound a little silly, don't I?"

"Just a little. So," Isabelle put her arm around Lily as they started walking down the street again, "when do I get to meet my niece or nephew?"

"July," she beamed.

"Seems so far away," Isabelle sighed.

"Tell me about it," Lily agreed.


"Hey, I'll get that," James said, taking a large dish of biscuits out of Lily's hands. She laughed.

"I'm pregnant, not fragile," she replied in a stage whisper. "And very hungry, so if you're going to insist on putting this breakfast on the table, you'd better do it quick. Thank goodness Isabelle can cook, because somebody decided to give the house elf a holiday on Christmas Day."

"Well, it seemed like a good idea in theory." He shrugged.

Sirius drug himself down the staircase. "Merry Christmas," he yawned.

"Merry Christmas, yourself," Lily replied, trying to decide whether she needed to stir the fried potatoes or not. Isabelle would be back downstairs in a minute, so she decided to just leave them until then. "Where's Gina?"

Puking her brains out in the bathroom, Sirius thought. Much as he wanted children, he didn't exactly enjoy watching his wife suffer in the process. He genuinely hoped this morning sickness wouldn't last much longer, or he thought that he would lose his mind.

"She'll be down in a minute, I hope," he replied with a slightly nervous smile.

Isabelle bounded into the kitchen, and immediately stirred the potatoes, which were dangerously close to being overdone. Regina stepped into the room a minute later, paler than usual.

"Are you alright?" Sirius asked, concerned.

She smiled. "I'll be fine."

"Why don't you go sit down in the dining room until breakfast is ready? It'll only be a couple of minutes."

"Sirius," she began, exasperated. She stopped at the look on his face. "Ok, you win."

Regina went into the dining room, and sat down, lost in thought. She never thought that she'd ever want children, but here she was, nearly two months pregnant. And happy about it – that was surreal.

Somewhat paranoid, she went to her cardiologist the other day, who reassured her that her heart disease shouldn't complicate her pregnancy. Oh, how she wanted to tell Sirius everything, including the scary fact that she might need a heart transplant in the next couple of years.

But, he looked so incredibly happy when she told him about the baby that she just couldn't spoil the moment. Especially with something that happened when she was in New York. She bit her lip, as everyone else drifted into the dining room.

"I wish Remus was here. Why does he have to be on assignment during Christmas?" Isabelle sighed. She really enjoyed getting to know him over the past few months, and missed him being around for the holidays.

"Because evil does not rest on holidays," Sirius replied with a grim smile.

"Ok, no work talk, please? Just for one day?" Regina begged, digging into a massive pile of sausages. Everyone silently ate for a minute. "Well, don't everyone talk at once."

Lily gave James a meaningful look. He nodded.

"Well, I was wondering if you were designing a certain type of clothes for the spring and summer," Lily asked conversationally. "Or, if you weren't, if you would be willing to."

Regina raised an eyebrow. "What sort of new line?"

"Maternity," she replied with a grin.

"How did you know?" Regina looked at Sirius, putting down her napkin. "You told them, didn't you? Even though we promised that we'd wait until Christmas."

"I did not," he protested.

"Then how did you find out?" she asked Lily.

"Find out about what?" James jumped in.

"The baby," Regina said, exasperated.

"What baby?" Lily wondered, confused. Of course she'd know about her own baby.

"Our baby," she replied, smiling at Sirius. She was puzzled by the shocked look on James' face.

"You're pregnant?" he asked, stunned. She nodded.

"You didn't know." It was a statement.

"No, but if you just had to populate the world with more Blacks, at least he or she will have a cousin to play with," James consoled himself.

"Cousin? You're pregnant, too? Is that what you were talking about?" Regina asked a grinning Lily.

Isabelle felt like a hand had reached into her chest, pulled out her heart, and stomped on it a few hundred thousand times. The look on Sirius' face killed her inside. No one noticed as she abruptly stood up from the table, and ran out of the room.


"Let me get this straight. Your sister and Regina are both pregnant, and due around the same time," Bill said, stretching out in the train compartment, putting his hands behind his head.

Isabelle nodded glumly. "Yes, in July. Guess they had a little too much fun at the Halloween party."

"Why are you so depressed? Aren't you the one who said that big families are great?"

"Big families are great. Sirius starting a family is not."

"He's married. That's what married couples do," Bill said sensibly.

"I know. That's what I keep telling myself, but it still hurts. You know what I need?"

"What's that?"

"A good cry, maybe a nap, and then a diversion."

"Like what?" Bill asked suspiciously.

"I haven't decided yet. I'll let you know when I do," Isabelle yawned. "It's time for that nap."

"Yeah, a little beauty sleep couldn't hurt you."

She threw a pillow at him. "Sod off."

"I'm serious."

"Prat."

Isabelle smiled before pulling a blanket over her head and rolling over, grateful that Bill was around to listen. She couldn't imagine what Ali or Sydney would say if they knew how she really felt about things. Grimacing at the thought of their reaction, she drifted off to sleep.


A loud cry pierced the night, causing Isabelle to bolt up in bed. She groaned and covered her ears with a pillow. Because of Petunia's screaming brat, she hadn't gotten a decent night's sleep all week. What kind of name was Dudley, anyway, she thought grumpily.

She managed to get a few minutes sleep, and spent the morning hiding in the guest bedroom with her schoolbooks. Thank goodness the professors went overboard with homework, she thought. Sadly, even History of Magic was a welcome distraction.

As miserable as the Christmas holidays were in Dover, she longed to be there. Why she had to spend Easter with Petunia, she didn't know. Not only was she sleep deprived, Isabelle was treated to watching her oldest sister shower her infant son with all the attention she never gave her. Knowing that Petunia was capable of showing affection hurt her deeply.

She trudged downstairs for dinner, where Vernon was reading the paper. Baby Dudley was screeching, as usual, and Petunia was desperately trying to calm him down. Not wanting to go deaf, Isabelle walked past her sister and picked up her nephew. She walked him up and down the kitchen a few times, singing quietly. After a minute, Dudley yawned and fell asleep.

"How did you do that?" Petunia asked, amazed.

"I don't know," Isabelle shrugged. "Guess my singing calmed him down."

"Singing? I thought you were a dancer," Vernon said from behind his paper.

"I am. A dancer, that is. I sing, too. Madame Bordeaux's always saying that she's afraid she's going to lose me to the theatre."

"The theatre? Wild sort of people," Vernon bellowed. "Of course, you're used to that environment, aren't you?"

"What do you mean?" Isabelle was puzzled. Her family life in Dover was anything but wild.

"Well, considering the type of people you've been raised around," Petunia tried to explain.

"Yes, that weirdo sister of yours and all those wizarding freaks," Vernon added.

"Wizarding freaks? How dare you talk about my family that way! And me, for that matter," Isabelle said angrily.

"Your family?" Vernon bellowed, putting down the paper. "The people you call your family are a menace to society, with all their spells and potions. And then your witch of a sister has the nerve to bring another freak into this world, as if there weren't enough of them already."

"Don't you ever talk about Lily like that! Or the baby. Don't insult us just because you don't understand our way of life."

"Oh, I understand plenty. Enough to know that we never should've let her raise you," Petunia interjected. Isabelle had finally had enough.

"And you were doing such a fine job, sister dear?" she seethed. "If I remember correctly, you practically had me packed to go to an asylum, so don't act so high and mighty. Lily was the mother I never had, and she'll be a wonderful mother to the baby. Better than you could ever dream of being."

Isabelle handed Dudley to Petunia, turned on her heel and marched upstairs. A few minutes later, she returned, clutching her knapsack.

"What are you doing?" Petunia snapped.

"Leaving. I'm going to school. Don't worry, I'll tell Lily that it's my fault, so that she won't think any less of you than she already does." The doorbell rang. "There's my ride. Later."

She rushed out of the house before Petunia could say another word, and jumped onto the Knight Bus. Luckily, she had enough money to take her to Hogsmeade, where she used a secret entrance to get back on campus. Sighing, she plopped down on the lakeshore, still angry. She stood up to go to bed, and stormed up the hill, tripping halfway up.

"Oh, sorry," she apologized. "I didn't see you there."

"That's ok," a male voice answered.

She recognized the voice. It was Ian Donaldson, a fourth-year Ravenclaw, who was the captain of the house Quiddich team. And, if she remembered correctly, was dating her mortal enemy, Tabitha. She tensed up slightly.

"I'll just be going now," she said quickly.

"You don't have to. I was kind of lonely, anyway," he said suggestively.

Is he flirting with me? Isabelle thought wildly. If so, he's certainly playing with fire. Curious, she decided to stick around to see what his intentions were. He didn't keep her waiting long. After chatting a minute, he leaned over and kissed her. Without thinking, she kissed him back.

"Wow, no offense or anything, but you're awfully good at that," he said.

"I'm sure your girlfriend wouldn't like to hear that statement," she replied. "What she doesn't know certainly won't hurt her."

"Well, in that case, there's a lot more I'm awfully good at."

She smiled at the look on his face. Not really knowing why, she reached over and kissed him passionately. It wasn't as if she really knew him, or cared about him. Maybe that was the point, she thought, as she wrapped her arms around his neck. There was just too much pain in her life at the moment, and she really wanted to forget it all. And what a good distraction Ian is, she decided, losing herself in his embrace.

Wow, updating two days in a row! Am on quite a roll...