Disclaimer: This isn't really a disclaimer. This is the part of the story
where I make fun of all the people that actually sit there and READ these
things. Yeah, I mean YOU! Don't you have anything better to be doing? Like
REVIEWING my story? Or not.
Chapter 5: Lions and Tigers and Heroes, Oh My!
The sun was setting by the time I managed to reach Kakariko Village. I was tired, and cold, and I wanted to go home. The sword sheath was digging into my side uncomfortably, and my vision was blurring. In the dim light, the village steps were dark and foreboding, and I couldn't see what was at the top. Wonderful. I slumped down by the a nearby tree, my backpack and sword by my side. I gingerly brushed my hand against the bruise that was forming where the sheath had slapped against my hip as I walked. How medieval knights managed to walk without falling on their asses was beyond me. The damn thing, aside from playing bass drum on my side, was constantly getting caught between my legs. Maybe if I rigged it so it went across my back instead of at my side, I would be more comfortable. After all, this was HYRULE and that was how Link did it.
I blinked. I was certainly taking this well. If, in fact, this IS Hyrule, which it's not, then shouldn't I be terrified and homesick? And what about the creatures that Impa had warned me about? Hyrule, which wasn't here, was CRAWLING with monsters. What if I never got home? What if I never saw Amy, or my mother, Hell, even Cheryl again? ~If this isn't Hyrule,~ a voice in my head intoned, ~then how did you know exactly where Kakariko Village was?~
In the distance, something howled at the moon. I shuddered in the cold, and scrambled to my feet. Maybe this wasn't the best place to take a nap. I practically bounded up the stairs, not even bothering to reattach the sword.
I reached the top of the steps in record time, and stopped to catch my breath. Then I laughed. I was taking it for granted that any beastly thing that was out tonight would be unable to enter the town, simply because that was the way it was in the games. Well... Except for Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, I guess, since Aghanim's soldiers were perfectly capable of coming after me in that game's version of Kakariko Village. That version? If THIS was Hyrule, WHICH Hyrule was it? I didn't remember an Impa in Link to the Past, and in Link's Adventure, the towns had the same name as the characters of Ocarina of Time! In fact, in the original Hyrule... there WERE no towns, only caves with strange old men and women who looked remarkably similar.
~Get a grip, Colt... It doesn't matter which game this is, cause it's NOT a game... It's IRELAND, remember?~ But even as I mentally scolded myself, I knew I was beating a dead horse. I was fooling myself if I thought that I was anywhere NEAR the world I had come from, and I knew it. After all, hadn't Zelda said...
My inner monologue was abruptly interrupted when a blur of green smashed into me, nearly sending me back down the flight of steps I had just fled up. When the stars cleared, I looked up to see a tall man of about twenty. I gasped. The floppy hat, the tunic... It couldn't be... but... Link!
Shakily, I stood. My heart was pounding. I was face to face with the legendary Hero of Time! Even my MOTHER knew who Link was. True, that was because Zeke and I would argue about the true timeline of the Zelda series for hours. I stood for a minute, trying to remember how my vocal cords worked. "H...h...hi!" Great start, Colt... real suave-like. He just nodded.
I was trying not to stare, but I couldn't help notice that something was odd about him. Then, it hit me.
He had cut his hair. Chopped it off. I can't say I minded, having never been a fan of long hair, except... This was LINK! Long hair was his trademark! ~Of Course,~ I mentally informed myself, ~he's a hell of a lot cuter than in the pictures.~ I shook the thought away. I refused to do that to myself. "Sorry about ... Uh... being in your way, when you're off to... Uh... save... I mean... in such a hurry." He just shrugged. "I'm Colt." I stuck out my hand, and my sleeve slid back, baring that damn tattoo. "Of the Clan Scorpia." I added resignedly. "The Princess sent me?"
His expression didn't change. Did he not know what Princess I was referring to? "Princess ZELDA?" I prompted. Nothing. No recognition, no smile, no 'oh, HER'... just that blank look of mild disinterest. "Forget it. Can you tell me of a good place to stay the night? I'm kind of tired, and a little hungry too." He nodded, and motioned for me to follow. I shrugged, and followed behind him, trying to clear my head.
He hadn't said a word to me... Did he not talk? Is that why he never said anything in the games? I'd always figured it was just a method of getting the player to imagine what the character under his (or her, I amended, aware that female gamers were people too) control had said, so as to add to the intimacy between the two. I guess that wasn't the case. And he hadn't recognized the name Zelda. Had they not met yet? No, impossible, he was DEFINITELY in his twenties, and that meant that he had met Zelda about thirteen years ago.
Unless he didn't remember? Damn, I was so confused.
We came to a small house, and Link motioned me inside. I nodded and thanked him with a nod of my head, expecting him to go back to whatever it was that had caused him to smash into me in the first place. He didn't. He followed me inside.
We were at an inn, I guess. The room we entered was almost empty, except for a few drunks sprawled out on the floor. A small, fat man scuttled over to us. "Ah, good sirs! Come to stay the night have we?" I guess Link nodded, because the fat man kept talking. "Will that be one room or two for you, sirs?" Link and I looked at each other, it occurred to me I had no money. I looked at the floor, then whispered "I'm broke." He held up one finger. I shot him a quizzical look, and he patted his coin pouch. Oh, duh. I felt stupid. One room was cheaper than two, and since I was broke, he was covering the cost for me. How sweet.
"Good good good!" I could almost taste his disappointment. His cheerful manner slipped, and his smile faltered, but his eyes were on my sword. "Will that be one bed or two?" He winked at Link, nodding in my direction.
"Two!" I almost shouted, and one of the drunks stirred, opening his eyes blearily. "Sorry." I smiled sheepishly.
"Two it is. Come this way, sirs. You may leave your baggage in your room and return to the common room for a meal, if it pleases you. Your things will be quite safe, I assure you." He smiled at me, displaying teeth that probably had never seen a toothbrush.
I nodded. Then, remembering that I had wanted to clean off a little, I stopped. "What about a bath?"
"I'll have the bar wench draw one at your convenience, sir. Now, right this way." With a speed that belied his girth, he strode through a door, and down a hallway. "Here we are." He handed Link a key. "That will be thirty rupees." Link counted out the cash quickly, and handed it to the man.
"I'll take the bath now, if you don't mind." I was beginning to feel like I was being ignored. Link nodded. He wanted to clean up too, I guess.
"Very well. Someone will be with you shortly." He turned, and made his way back down the hall.
"Thank you." I said, lamely, after we had set our stuff down. Why was he helping me? He didn't know who or what I was. I could try to kill him in his sleep. Did he even sleep? "You know, I don't even know your name."
He made a face, and sighed. "What do you expect me to call you, then? Hey you?" He glared at me. "Please?" I knew I was pushing it... But I figured if he couldn't speak, he'd write it down. It wouldn't do for me to call him Link without him TELLING me that was his name. It would be too stalkerish.
"L-l-li-link." Shit. No WONDER he hadn't said anything to me... He stuttered.
"Oh, Link... I'm sorry. I didn't know." He just shrugged. I was ashamed of myself. I had pressed him about his name, knowing that he couldn't answer it without talking, and he had shown his weakness to me. I was such a heel.
There was a knock at the door, and several maids came in with two tubs, full of steaming water. I raised my eyebrows. "Hey, wait!" I yelled, but I was talking to the door. I sat on the bed. I guess we'd have to take turns, with the other going to the front of the inn and getting food. I stared out the window for a second, noting the fullness of the moon, and turned around to ask which of us would get the food first.
But when I turned around, I came into full view of Link, stripping off his clothes. "LINK! What are you doing?!" He turned around, pulling his shirt the rest of the way off as he spun. I felt the blush creeping up my face. His body was toned, too. ~NO! Don't look!~
He shot me a confused look, as he worked his trousers down. "Ummm... Maybe I'll get some food first... Can I borrow some rupees?" He nodded, and made a motion. I wasn't sure what it meant, so I just grabbed a few from his pouch and darted out the door, trying not to notice that he was now fully naked.
Fifteen minutes later, in the common room, a tap on my shoulder alerted me to Link's presence. I looked up from my dish, and he shrugged at me. I handed him the change from the meal, fried cucco, which tasted, not surprisingly, like chicken, and stood. "I'm gonna go get clean now. Stay here, okay?"
~You don't want him to stay here...~ an insidious voice in my head sneered. ~You want him to come and take a bath WITH you!~ I shook off the thought, and fled to the room. The water wasn't as hot as it had been, but it was passable. I stripped, and sank into the tub, sighing. This was not working out the way I thought it would, that was for sure. I wondered vaguely why the games had never depicted Link as needed to sleep or eat or bathe or go to the bathroom. Come to think of it, I don't remember the last time I had even SEEN a bathroom.
The door opened slightly, and Link peered through the crack. I let out a yelp, and scrambled out of the bath, searching for a towel. When I managed to cover myself, I noticed something. Link was laughing. It was a beautiful sound, too. It was good to hear him laugh so freely. He had been so silent, and when I finally got him to say his name, it was such an ordeal, that I never really noticed his voice. I couldn't help but laugh with him.
"Okay, okay. You can come in, I guess." I was still laughing as I climbed under the covers, wearing nothing but the pair of boxers I had awoken in that morning. That morning? Had it really only been a day? My encounter with the Princess of Hyrule seemed so long ago. As I drifted off to sleep, it occurred to me. What if she was right?
Chapter 5: Lions and Tigers and Heroes, Oh My!
The sun was setting by the time I managed to reach Kakariko Village. I was tired, and cold, and I wanted to go home. The sword sheath was digging into my side uncomfortably, and my vision was blurring. In the dim light, the village steps were dark and foreboding, and I couldn't see what was at the top. Wonderful. I slumped down by the a nearby tree, my backpack and sword by my side. I gingerly brushed my hand against the bruise that was forming where the sheath had slapped against my hip as I walked. How medieval knights managed to walk without falling on their asses was beyond me. The damn thing, aside from playing bass drum on my side, was constantly getting caught between my legs. Maybe if I rigged it so it went across my back instead of at my side, I would be more comfortable. After all, this was HYRULE and that was how Link did it.
I blinked. I was certainly taking this well. If, in fact, this IS Hyrule, which it's not, then shouldn't I be terrified and homesick? And what about the creatures that Impa had warned me about? Hyrule, which wasn't here, was CRAWLING with monsters. What if I never got home? What if I never saw Amy, or my mother, Hell, even Cheryl again? ~If this isn't Hyrule,~ a voice in my head intoned, ~then how did you know exactly where Kakariko Village was?~
In the distance, something howled at the moon. I shuddered in the cold, and scrambled to my feet. Maybe this wasn't the best place to take a nap. I practically bounded up the stairs, not even bothering to reattach the sword.
I reached the top of the steps in record time, and stopped to catch my breath. Then I laughed. I was taking it for granted that any beastly thing that was out tonight would be unable to enter the town, simply because that was the way it was in the games. Well... Except for Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past, I guess, since Aghanim's soldiers were perfectly capable of coming after me in that game's version of Kakariko Village. That version? If THIS was Hyrule, WHICH Hyrule was it? I didn't remember an Impa in Link to the Past, and in Link's Adventure, the towns had the same name as the characters of Ocarina of Time! In fact, in the original Hyrule... there WERE no towns, only caves with strange old men and women who looked remarkably similar.
~Get a grip, Colt... It doesn't matter which game this is, cause it's NOT a game... It's IRELAND, remember?~ But even as I mentally scolded myself, I knew I was beating a dead horse. I was fooling myself if I thought that I was anywhere NEAR the world I had come from, and I knew it. After all, hadn't Zelda said...
My inner monologue was abruptly interrupted when a blur of green smashed into me, nearly sending me back down the flight of steps I had just fled up. When the stars cleared, I looked up to see a tall man of about twenty. I gasped. The floppy hat, the tunic... It couldn't be... but... Link!
Shakily, I stood. My heart was pounding. I was face to face with the legendary Hero of Time! Even my MOTHER knew who Link was. True, that was because Zeke and I would argue about the true timeline of the Zelda series for hours. I stood for a minute, trying to remember how my vocal cords worked. "H...h...hi!" Great start, Colt... real suave-like. He just nodded.
I was trying not to stare, but I couldn't help notice that something was odd about him. Then, it hit me.
He had cut his hair. Chopped it off. I can't say I minded, having never been a fan of long hair, except... This was LINK! Long hair was his trademark! ~Of Course,~ I mentally informed myself, ~he's a hell of a lot cuter than in the pictures.~ I shook the thought away. I refused to do that to myself. "Sorry about ... Uh... being in your way, when you're off to... Uh... save... I mean... in such a hurry." He just shrugged. "I'm Colt." I stuck out my hand, and my sleeve slid back, baring that damn tattoo. "Of the Clan Scorpia." I added resignedly. "The Princess sent me?"
His expression didn't change. Did he not know what Princess I was referring to? "Princess ZELDA?" I prompted. Nothing. No recognition, no smile, no 'oh, HER'... just that blank look of mild disinterest. "Forget it. Can you tell me of a good place to stay the night? I'm kind of tired, and a little hungry too." He nodded, and motioned for me to follow. I shrugged, and followed behind him, trying to clear my head.
He hadn't said a word to me... Did he not talk? Is that why he never said anything in the games? I'd always figured it was just a method of getting the player to imagine what the character under his (or her, I amended, aware that female gamers were people too) control had said, so as to add to the intimacy between the two. I guess that wasn't the case. And he hadn't recognized the name Zelda. Had they not met yet? No, impossible, he was DEFINITELY in his twenties, and that meant that he had met Zelda about thirteen years ago.
Unless he didn't remember? Damn, I was so confused.
We came to a small house, and Link motioned me inside. I nodded and thanked him with a nod of my head, expecting him to go back to whatever it was that had caused him to smash into me in the first place. He didn't. He followed me inside.
We were at an inn, I guess. The room we entered was almost empty, except for a few drunks sprawled out on the floor. A small, fat man scuttled over to us. "Ah, good sirs! Come to stay the night have we?" I guess Link nodded, because the fat man kept talking. "Will that be one room or two for you, sirs?" Link and I looked at each other, it occurred to me I had no money. I looked at the floor, then whispered "I'm broke." He held up one finger. I shot him a quizzical look, and he patted his coin pouch. Oh, duh. I felt stupid. One room was cheaper than two, and since I was broke, he was covering the cost for me. How sweet.
"Good good good!" I could almost taste his disappointment. His cheerful manner slipped, and his smile faltered, but his eyes were on my sword. "Will that be one bed or two?" He winked at Link, nodding in my direction.
"Two!" I almost shouted, and one of the drunks stirred, opening his eyes blearily. "Sorry." I smiled sheepishly.
"Two it is. Come this way, sirs. You may leave your baggage in your room and return to the common room for a meal, if it pleases you. Your things will be quite safe, I assure you." He smiled at me, displaying teeth that probably had never seen a toothbrush.
I nodded. Then, remembering that I had wanted to clean off a little, I stopped. "What about a bath?"
"I'll have the bar wench draw one at your convenience, sir. Now, right this way." With a speed that belied his girth, he strode through a door, and down a hallway. "Here we are." He handed Link a key. "That will be thirty rupees." Link counted out the cash quickly, and handed it to the man.
"I'll take the bath now, if you don't mind." I was beginning to feel like I was being ignored. Link nodded. He wanted to clean up too, I guess.
"Very well. Someone will be with you shortly." He turned, and made his way back down the hall.
"Thank you." I said, lamely, after we had set our stuff down. Why was he helping me? He didn't know who or what I was. I could try to kill him in his sleep. Did he even sleep? "You know, I don't even know your name."
He made a face, and sighed. "What do you expect me to call you, then? Hey you?" He glared at me. "Please?" I knew I was pushing it... But I figured if he couldn't speak, he'd write it down. It wouldn't do for me to call him Link without him TELLING me that was his name. It would be too stalkerish.
"L-l-li-link." Shit. No WONDER he hadn't said anything to me... He stuttered.
"Oh, Link... I'm sorry. I didn't know." He just shrugged. I was ashamed of myself. I had pressed him about his name, knowing that he couldn't answer it without talking, and he had shown his weakness to me. I was such a heel.
There was a knock at the door, and several maids came in with two tubs, full of steaming water. I raised my eyebrows. "Hey, wait!" I yelled, but I was talking to the door. I sat on the bed. I guess we'd have to take turns, with the other going to the front of the inn and getting food. I stared out the window for a second, noting the fullness of the moon, and turned around to ask which of us would get the food first.
But when I turned around, I came into full view of Link, stripping off his clothes. "LINK! What are you doing?!" He turned around, pulling his shirt the rest of the way off as he spun. I felt the blush creeping up my face. His body was toned, too. ~NO! Don't look!~
He shot me a confused look, as he worked his trousers down. "Ummm... Maybe I'll get some food first... Can I borrow some rupees?" He nodded, and made a motion. I wasn't sure what it meant, so I just grabbed a few from his pouch and darted out the door, trying not to notice that he was now fully naked.
Fifteen minutes later, in the common room, a tap on my shoulder alerted me to Link's presence. I looked up from my dish, and he shrugged at me. I handed him the change from the meal, fried cucco, which tasted, not surprisingly, like chicken, and stood. "I'm gonna go get clean now. Stay here, okay?"
~You don't want him to stay here...~ an insidious voice in my head sneered. ~You want him to come and take a bath WITH you!~ I shook off the thought, and fled to the room. The water wasn't as hot as it had been, but it was passable. I stripped, and sank into the tub, sighing. This was not working out the way I thought it would, that was for sure. I wondered vaguely why the games had never depicted Link as needed to sleep or eat or bathe or go to the bathroom. Come to think of it, I don't remember the last time I had even SEEN a bathroom.
The door opened slightly, and Link peered through the crack. I let out a yelp, and scrambled out of the bath, searching for a towel. When I managed to cover myself, I noticed something. Link was laughing. It was a beautiful sound, too. It was good to hear him laugh so freely. He had been so silent, and when I finally got him to say his name, it was such an ordeal, that I never really noticed his voice. I couldn't help but laugh with him.
"Okay, okay. You can come in, I guess." I was still laughing as I climbed under the covers, wearing nothing but the pair of boxers I had awoken in that morning. That morning? Had it really only been a day? My encounter with the Princess of Hyrule seemed so long ago. As I drifted off to sleep, it occurred to me. What if she was right?