Someone Who Cares...
Amelia sighed, exhausted. But that wasn't why she sighed. And it wasn't that she'd just lost her best friend, Mr. Arrow. No, it was because she couldn't think of any further tasks that needed completing. Now, the only thing that awaited her was the cold solitude of her stateroom and her own bitter thoughts. She found she was feeling very much alone right at this moment. Being alone hadn't bothered her before...so why was that feeling plaguing her now? She felt a lump in her throat and a curious tightness in her chest. She deliberately cleared her throat, and pushed her unsettled emotions back in her mind, the intrepid Captain once again. Yes, that was much more like it, she told herself...in control, in command. But, then---if that was truly the case---why did that aching feeling in her chest not go away?
She raised her chin proudly and decided it was time to get some rest. She had had a long day. Really...just how often does a girl fight off the attacks of exploding star turned black hole? With that rather clever thought, she made her way back down the stairs to the bridge deck and then to her stateroom.
The pretty feline Captain opened the door, and winced visibly at the destruction the star Pellucid's demise had wrought. The wall of windows that normally graced behind her desk were a ruin, with only a few panes remaining unscathed. Broken glass and shattered framework littered the floor of her once immaculate stateroom. Suddenly, she found it all too much to bear. Narrowly escaping death and the destruction of her beloved ship, followed by the devastating news of Arrow's death, and now this! It was all too much. Amelia sank slowly down on her knees to the floor, her green eyes narrowed, a look of pain on her face, her breathing fast and shaky.
Then, there came a knock on her stateroom door. Amelia, at first, growled at the interruption, her lips curling back from her white teeth in a near snarl. Then, she realized just how she looked and quickly scrambled to her feet...although that blasted feeling of despair just wouldn't go away. "A moment, please," she called to whomever her late-night visitor might be. She tugged her uniform jacket down, ran one slender hand through her hair once, then turned toward the door, composing herself in her captain persona once more. She then opened the door. "Yes?"
"Er, Captain," a determined, yet nervous Doctor Doppler inquired. "Might I have a moment or two of your time?" He gave her a small pleasant smile, that was mirrored by his remarkable brown eyes.
Amelia's first thought was to tell the good Doctor that no, she was tired and to come see her again tomorrow. But a part of her suddenly craved companionship...even if it were only the bumbling---yet remarkably likeable--- Doctor Doppler. "Of course, Doctor. Please, do come in. Um...do excuse the mess. Haven't had the time to do anything about it, you know." Amelia kicked herself mentally for restating the obvious. I must really be tired...
Doppler cautiously entered the stateroom past Amelia. He quickly surveyed the state of the once immaculate room was now in. He turned to the Captain, and asked, "I can help you clean this up, if you'd like."
Amelia said nothing right away, but was touched by his rather thoughtful offer. The good Doctor might not be spacer material maybe...but he did have his moments. "That's most kind of you, Doctor. But, it is getting rather late..." she began, then winded to a halt, giving him the opportunity to rescind his offer.
"Oh, that's quite all right, Captain," the canine professor replied cheerily. "I don't think I could sleep a wink tonight anyway...not after everything--- Well, you know." He gave her an apologetic look, his face falling. He then shrugged that off, trying to be cheerful once again. "If you'd like, Captain...we could start at once."
Amelia felt a twinge in her chest at his mention of 'everything that had happened', and felt a stab of that loneliness pierce her once again. So, she made her decision. "That...that would be most appreciated, Doctor. You will find brooms and the like in that closet over there."
Doppler didn't hesitate and scurried over to the closet she indicated. In a flash, he had secured an armful of brooms, mops, and buckets...more than they both could ever make use of. "Here we go," he offered brightly, accidentally dropping a wooden bucket on to his foot. He grimaced, but said nothing, even though his foot now throbbed.
Amelia was touched, and amused by this sometimes silly man. "Er, Doctor...I do think you've brought enough gear for a dozen spacers. Here...just leave me these two brooms, a mop, this dust pail, and that bucket you so thoughtfully brought along." She gave him a sly look at the mention of the bucket, glad to have something pleasant to occupy her thoughts.
"Oh. Um, excuse me, Captain. I guess...well, I suppose... Pardon me while I put all this lot away, will you?" Doppler's cheeks reddened momentarily, and he carefully made his way back toward the closet, scrambling to keep control of the eight brooms, two mops, and three buckets in his arms.
Amelia softly shook her head, and took hold of a broom and began to sweep up the glass and splinters that coated the floor. She started a moment later when there was a resounding crash. She spun about, and quickly suppressed a laugh, then a moment of irritation, at the sight of the good Doctor sprawled out on the floor, his limbs and brooms and mops all in a tangle. "Doctor? I say...are you all right?"
"Fine!" he replied quickly, hastily removing the metal pail that somehow had found its way onto his head. "I'm fine, really!" He hurriedly untangled his gangly arms and legs from mop and broom handles, then got to his feet...only to put his foot into a wooden pail and have it become stuck. He cast a quick glance Amelia's way, but she was busy pushing a broom. He sighed in exasperation. Why, oh why, did he always have to make a fool out of himself every time she was near? With a crestfallen look on his face, he step-clumped his way to the closet and put away all the excess supplies he had withdrawn. He then proceeded to hop about until he successfully removed his foot from the damn bucket.
"Now, Captain, if you'll allow me to---oof!" Doppler began energetically, only to step onto a push broom, whose wood handle snapped up to smack him smartly in the face, knocking his oval spectacles off, and essentially ringing his bell. Doppler saw stars, then sat down hard, his head spinning.
Amelia winced at the snap of the stout broom handle taking the good Doctor directly in the face. The poor man lost his spectacles in the process, and then sat down with a thump, his expression decidedly unfocused. She moved over and knelt down, quickly inspecting him for signs of injury. "Doctor? Hello? How many fingers am I holding up?" she asked, holding up two slender fingers.
"Hmm?" the woozy Doppler replied, blinking owlishly at the Captain. He saw two of her, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. "Why...hello there! Did you know, you're very pretty, Miss Whoever-You-Are. Well, the both of you, I mean," he told her, er, them truthfully, indicating each in their turn.
Amelia smiled, rolled her eyes and then shook her head. That broom handle must of thumped him rather hard. Was it her imagination...or had he just told her he thought her pretty? She wrote it off as a result of his recent incapacitation. "Rest easy, Doctor. I'm sure you'll be right as rain in a moment," she assured him.
"Two," he told her moments later, surprising her.
"Pardon me?" Amelia responded, not clear on what he was talking about now.
"I saw two fingers, Captain," Doppler told her, his face reddening once again. "And, I do hope you'll forgive me for my, er...boldness a moment ago." His eyes were now focused, and he was working his nose and forehead to ease the sting of the slight welt rising there.
Ah, so he had told her he found her pretty, she surmised. No, not just pretty. But very pretty. She was then startled to realize that his observation had given her a warm rush of...well, something. "Already forgotten, Doctor. You were clearly not yourself, my good man. Now...are you certain you're all right?" she responded.
"I'll be fine, Captain," he assured her, moving on to his knees, his weak eyes narrowed, his hands searching obviously for his missing spectacles. "That is...I will be just as soon as I find my blasted spectacles..."
Amelia's sharp green eyes found the missing eyewear immediately. She carefully plucked them up with the claws of her thumb and forefinger, and extended them toward Doppler. "Here you are," she told him.
"Thank heavens," he replied, thankfully. He reached out and took his spectacles from her and re-perched them on his nose. He sighed happily to be able to see clearly again. "Thank you very much, Captain. I don't know what I'd do without them."
"You're very welcome, Doctor," she responded with a nod. "Now, do you think we might get back to work? You know...before daybreak, that is?" She didn't know precisely why, but teasing this poor fellow gave her quiet amusement.
As if on cue, Doppler blushed again. "I'm terribly sorry, Captain. I...I'm afraid I don't know what's come over me. I'm not nearly this clumsy most of the time," he admitted. He winced as he pondered what he had just said. But covered up for it by grabbing the push broom that had nearly cleaned his clock and began sweeping the floor with diligence.
Between the two of them, it didn't take too long to get the floor swept up of all debris. Amelia then began picking up the belongings of hers that had been dashed about and put them away, as Doppler plied a mop over the now cleared floors of her cabin. After nearly an hour's worth of work, the stateroom---with the exclusion of the shattered windows, of course---was fairly ship-shape once again.
Amelia sat down wearily, but satisfied, in her desk chair. She looked up at where Doppler stood, leaning against his mop handle. He had taken his somewhat faded burgundy jacket off a half hour ago, and now had his sleeves rolled back. "Nicely done, Doctor. And...thank you for your help. I feel a bit better now about the place," she explained.
"Glad to of been of help, Captain," he replied good-naturedly, though he paused to rub the red welt in his forehead. "Well, as much help as I was, at least," he gamely offered in a self-depreciating manner.
"Nonsense, Doctor," she assured him. "Once you got down to work, you were most efficient."
"Thank you again, Captain. But it was my pleasure to help," he told her, and he meant it. He then moved closer, though he did so a bit tentatively. "Are you sure that you're all right?" he asked her, his eyes looking her over carefully.
"Oh. You mean Arrow and all that?" she replied, rather nonchalantly. Must remain composed, Amelia, she told herself rigidly. "It's like I told you all before...all spacers know the risks, and accept them. It's not like he was the first spacer to be lost, Doctor..." What a crock, she told herself, berating herself for trivializing the death of her best friend in such a way. The tightness in her chest grew anew, and that blasted lump was reforming in her throat.
Doppler looked at her, clearly surprised. "B-B-But, Captain," he voiced in a confused manner. "I thought...well, that Mr. Arrow was more than just a spacer to you. I mean, you two seemed to be...er, rather close friends." If not more, he told himself a bit reluctantly.
Amelia swiveled her chair to face away from the Doctor. "Well, yes. Arrow and I had traveled together for quite some time. We had a fine working relationship, Doctor. I know I shall miss that..." Liar, she screamed at herself. Arrow was the closest thing she had to family in the galaxy, and here you tell the rather sympathetic Doctor that "I shall miss our 'fine working relationship''"! She felt a burning in her eyes, that lump had become an ache in her throat. She found it hard to breathe calmly.
"Undoubtedly, Captain," responded Doppler, as gently as he could manage. "I'm sure you will miss him indeed." He looked at the back of her head, and realized he was mesmerized by the color of her hair. He shook his head to clear those thoughts away. "As will we all, to a lesser extent, I'm sure. I didn't have long to get to know the man, but in the time I had, I found---"
"Shut up, Doctor!" Amelia snapped, whirling her chair about. Her green eyes glistened, but reflected immense anger as well. "Shut up! How could you know anything about Arrow?"
Doppler was stunned by this abrupt reversal in her behavior. "I---I'm sorry, Captain. I simply thought---"
Amelia was now furious...though not really at the Doctor, who she was taking it out on---admittedly most unfairly. "You thought?" she taunted him. "Ha! There's a first! Do you know, Doctor, you can keep your apologies! And your thoughts too, for that matter!" She was now standing up, her ears flattened against her skull, her green eyes wide and blazing. Her chest rose and fell with her ragged breathing. Doppler cringed to be the recipient of her ire. A part of her was ashamed by her treatment of the poor Doctor...but some other more primal part of her needed this release. "Just who do you think you are, Doctor Doppler? Hmm? Appearing so kind, so understanding. Rubbish! You don't know one thing about Sylvester Arrow! You don't know one thing about how I'm---" she gasped, the pain behind her eyes, in her throat, and especially in her chest becoming unbearable. "I'm---"she tried to start again, but faltered. "---feeling! How could you know? How could a spoiled stuffed shirt like you understand anything of how much I've suffered? How much I've lost in my life? Hmm? Care to tell me that, Doctor?"
Doppler blinked, flinching as she berated and belittled him. Odd thing was, he thought, I most likely deserve all of it. "You're right, of course. I can't," he told her apologetically. But then his brown eyes hardened unexpectedly. "But in all fairness, how could I, Captain? You tell me nothing...yet, somehow expect me to know what you're thinking! What you're feeling! Well...I bloody well can't!" His chest was heaving, and his face was flushed.
Amelia was taken aback by Doppler's retort. "Why...how dare you! Just who in blazes do you think you are!" she roared at him, one tear leaking down from the inside corner of her left eye.
Doppler, to her surprise, didn't flinch this time. In fact, to her immense consternation, he actually took a step closer to her. He then tugged down on the corners of his vest in a surprisingly familiar gesture to her, then adjusted his spectacles. Doppler then walked right up to her, so that his face was only six inches from her own, and his suddenly fierce brown eyes bore down on her. She inwardly cringed at that expression, as it was so unlike the timid Doctor she had thought she had known. His face was suddenly transformed as he smiled a truly gentle smile at her, his remarkable brown eyes suddenly filled with compassion...and something else entirely---something that frankly frightened Amelia. "Someone who cares," was all he said.
Amelia was stunned, and sat down, blinking. "Whatever do you mean?" she said, confused.
"I should think that should be rather obvious," Doppler replied in that same blasted calm voice of his. "Now, it's rather late, and you could most likely use some sleep, Captain. So...I will bid you a good night." He turned to head toward the door. He never made it though, as a slender hand gripped his right bicep, holding him back.
"No, wait," pleaded Amelia, whose towering rage seemed to have been snuffed out like a candle in a gale. "Doctor... Why? Why would you care?" she asked, needing, wanting to know. That single tear continued its course down her smooth cheek.
"Why?" Doppler echoed, his heart going out to this woman. "Hmm. A good question, Captain..."
Amelia cringed at his saying that, fully aware of the terrible things she had just said to him. "I'm sorry, Doctor. I had no right at all to say those terrible things to you," she confessed with just the barest hint of a sniffle.
"Nonsense," he informed her with that same gentle smile. "You are hurting, Captain. In pain. And people---I've observed---tend to lash out when they are in pain. You owe me no apology, Captain. But, back to your original question..."
"Yes?" Amelia replied in a voice like a little girl, with yet another suppressed sniffle.
"Well, you see...you always try so hard to be the exemplary Captain...never showing any emotion, always calm, always in command. Yet, whether you like it or not, you are still a person, too, with emotions...just like the rest of us all," he told her. "Now, I might not be the most observant person in the galaxy...but even I could see the pain, the loss, the horror you felt when Arrow was gone." He looked at her, his eyes full of sympathy for her.
Amelia sniffled softly again, trying so desperately not give in to her pain and loss. The Doctor had read her like a book, despite all her attempts to hide behind the carefully constructed façade she had used for so many years. His rather insightful observation struck a chord, and the unflappable Amelia cracked...though only once. "H-He was my best friend, you know. My only f-f-family," she managed to reveal, scrunching up her face to keep her raging emotions in check.
"I believe you. You have my most sincere condolences, " Doppler told her, his voice caring. "Do you know, I watched you. And---not even once---did you ever crack. Ever show so much as one sniffle. I was impressed." He paused, gulped, then continued on, as if he was afraid to stop for fear of never finishing what he had to sasy. "And, later...not one person---not even one!---offered you so much as a word of sympathy or condolences. That just wasn't right," he told her. There was a timbre in his voice that somehow managed to express his sympathies as well as his anger.
Amelia said nothing, but sniffed once again, as one more fat tear rolled down her left cheek.
"It took me a while...but, I just had to try to let you know," Doppler confessed to her, trying to make her understand. "Let you know that someone cared. About you and your feelings. And, I do...you know. Care, that is," he added in embarrassment.
"Do you know," Amelia managed somehow to say. "I think I believe you, Doctor. And...thank you."
Doppler smiled a shy grin, and without thinking about what he was doing, gently wiped away the tear that slowly fell down her smooth cheek. "It will be all right, Captain," he told her, his voice brimming with compassion. "Maybe not today. Maybe not this week. But someday. Someday it will be all right. You'll see."
Amelia's lower lip trembled, the ache of Arrow's loss still heavy in her. But...but, something told her that the suddenly so eloquent Doctor was right. It would hurt now...but someday, she would be able to get on with her life without Arrow. And, maybe, she told herself with a mental smile, there was someone who really cared for her after all... She looked up at the Doctor, who looked down at her, his face soft with his care. His care...for her. Now, wasn't that a surprise...and quite a pleasant one to boot. Amelia suddenly felt exhausted, drained...but in a good way. She couldn't help the huge yawn that followed. She grinned in embarrassment from that action.
Doppler appeared pleasantly amused. "Ah, I see the day has finally caught up with our fine Captain at last," he observed clinically, but with a smile.
"I do believe," answered Amelia with yet another yawn, "that you are right, Doctor."
"Well, then," he replied, giving her an understanding look. "I probably should be going, Captain. You know, get some sleep myself and all that..." Truth be told, he really didn't want to leave her just now. But, he expected she did need her rest...and rather desperately by now.
"Er, yes," answered Amelia, reluctant to let him go just now. "I do suppose you're right, Doctor."
"Of course," Doppler then said, turning for the door once more. "Good night, Captain."
"Good night, Doctor," Amelia replied, wishing she wasn't so tired. "I..."
"Yes, Captain?" Doppler said, looking over his shoulder, curious.
"Thank you, Doctor...for everything," Amelia told him, wanting to say more, but suddenly too embarrassed to continue. She swallowed once, then added, "It's rather good to know that I have at least one friend..."
Doctor Doppler beamed at her telling him that, and she felt a rush of pleasure in that. He was really quite the fellow, actually, thought Amelia. Easy to underestimate, though easy to figure out sometimes as well. Doppler smiled at her, and that smile of his made her blush ever so slightly. "I think you will find, my friend, that you most likely have far more than just one, Captain," he confided in her, with a conspiratorial smile.
She then gave him a genuine smile, one that made that ache in her chest recede to tolerable levels. She reached out a hand to take his and squeeze it in her thanks. "Thank you, Doctor. Er, if you have the time later, I would like to talk with you more. I find that I have many things I'd really like to talk about...you know, with a friend..."
"Any time, Captain," Doppler offered gallantly. "I rather look forward to it, actually." He then turned toward the door and actually made it there this time, leaving Amelia standing behind her desk, gazing at him. He turned back once, and smiled. "Remember, Captain, if you ever need me, I will be there for you. You see, that's because I'm---"
Amelia smiled, then cut him off. "I know. Someone who cares," she finished, feeling better already. "Well, off with you then, Doctor," she told him, a bit of actual fondness in her voice this time. "Get some rest, and that's an order!" her green eyes twinkled as she told him that.
Doppler grinned, then gave her a jaunty salute. "Aye aye, Captain. Do try to get some rest, please?"
"All right, all right," Amelia pretended to grouse. "But, I shall have a hard time doing that if you persist in standing there jawing at me all night, Doctor..."
"Good night," he told her, his eyes betraying some of what he felt for this remarkable woman.
"Good night, Doctor," Amelia returned as he stepped through the stateroom door, and she eased it closed. "My friend..."
Finis
Amelia sighed, exhausted. But that wasn't why she sighed. And it wasn't that she'd just lost her best friend, Mr. Arrow. No, it was because she couldn't think of any further tasks that needed completing. Now, the only thing that awaited her was the cold solitude of her stateroom and her own bitter thoughts. She found she was feeling very much alone right at this moment. Being alone hadn't bothered her before...so why was that feeling plaguing her now? She felt a lump in her throat and a curious tightness in her chest. She deliberately cleared her throat, and pushed her unsettled emotions back in her mind, the intrepid Captain once again. Yes, that was much more like it, she told herself...in control, in command. But, then---if that was truly the case---why did that aching feeling in her chest not go away?
She raised her chin proudly and decided it was time to get some rest. She had had a long day. Really...just how often does a girl fight off the attacks of exploding star turned black hole? With that rather clever thought, she made her way back down the stairs to the bridge deck and then to her stateroom.
The pretty feline Captain opened the door, and winced visibly at the destruction the star Pellucid's demise had wrought. The wall of windows that normally graced behind her desk were a ruin, with only a few panes remaining unscathed. Broken glass and shattered framework littered the floor of her once immaculate stateroom. Suddenly, she found it all too much to bear. Narrowly escaping death and the destruction of her beloved ship, followed by the devastating news of Arrow's death, and now this! It was all too much. Amelia sank slowly down on her knees to the floor, her green eyes narrowed, a look of pain on her face, her breathing fast and shaky.
Then, there came a knock on her stateroom door. Amelia, at first, growled at the interruption, her lips curling back from her white teeth in a near snarl. Then, she realized just how she looked and quickly scrambled to her feet...although that blasted feeling of despair just wouldn't go away. "A moment, please," she called to whomever her late-night visitor might be. She tugged her uniform jacket down, ran one slender hand through her hair once, then turned toward the door, composing herself in her captain persona once more. She then opened the door. "Yes?"
"Er, Captain," a determined, yet nervous Doctor Doppler inquired. "Might I have a moment or two of your time?" He gave her a small pleasant smile, that was mirrored by his remarkable brown eyes.
Amelia's first thought was to tell the good Doctor that no, she was tired and to come see her again tomorrow. But a part of her suddenly craved companionship...even if it were only the bumbling---yet remarkably likeable--- Doctor Doppler. "Of course, Doctor. Please, do come in. Um...do excuse the mess. Haven't had the time to do anything about it, you know." Amelia kicked herself mentally for restating the obvious. I must really be tired...
Doppler cautiously entered the stateroom past Amelia. He quickly surveyed the state of the once immaculate room was now in. He turned to the Captain, and asked, "I can help you clean this up, if you'd like."
Amelia said nothing right away, but was touched by his rather thoughtful offer. The good Doctor might not be spacer material maybe...but he did have his moments. "That's most kind of you, Doctor. But, it is getting rather late..." she began, then winded to a halt, giving him the opportunity to rescind his offer.
"Oh, that's quite all right, Captain," the canine professor replied cheerily. "I don't think I could sleep a wink tonight anyway...not after everything--- Well, you know." He gave her an apologetic look, his face falling. He then shrugged that off, trying to be cheerful once again. "If you'd like, Captain...we could start at once."
Amelia felt a twinge in her chest at his mention of 'everything that had happened', and felt a stab of that loneliness pierce her once again. So, she made her decision. "That...that would be most appreciated, Doctor. You will find brooms and the like in that closet over there."
Doppler didn't hesitate and scurried over to the closet she indicated. In a flash, he had secured an armful of brooms, mops, and buckets...more than they both could ever make use of. "Here we go," he offered brightly, accidentally dropping a wooden bucket on to his foot. He grimaced, but said nothing, even though his foot now throbbed.
Amelia was touched, and amused by this sometimes silly man. "Er, Doctor...I do think you've brought enough gear for a dozen spacers. Here...just leave me these two brooms, a mop, this dust pail, and that bucket you so thoughtfully brought along." She gave him a sly look at the mention of the bucket, glad to have something pleasant to occupy her thoughts.
"Oh. Um, excuse me, Captain. I guess...well, I suppose... Pardon me while I put all this lot away, will you?" Doppler's cheeks reddened momentarily, and he carefully made his way back toward the closet, scrambling to keep control of the eight brooms, two mops, and three buckets in his arms.
Amelia softly shook her head, and took hold of a broom and began to sweep up the glass and splinters that coated the floor. She started a moment later when there was a resounding crash. She spun about, and quickly suppressed a laugh, then a moment of irritation, at the sight of the good Doctor sprawled out on the floor, his limbs and brooms and mops all in a tangle. "Doctor? I say...are you all right?"
"Fine!" he replied quickly, hastily removing the metal pail that somehow had found its way onto his head. "I'm fine, really!" He hurriedly untangled his gangly arms and legs from mop and broom handles, then got to his feet...only to put his foot into a wooden pail and have it become stuck. He cast a quick glance Amelia's way, but she was busy pushing a broom. He sighed in exasperation. Why, oh why, did he always have to make a fool out of himself every time she was near? With a crestfallen look on his face, he step-clumped his way to the closet and put away all the excess supplies he had withdrawn. He then proceeded to hop about until he successfully removed his foot from the damn bucket.
"Now, Captain, if you'll allow me to---oof!" Doppler began energetically, only to step onto a push broom, whose wood handle snapped up to smack him smartly in the face, knocking his oval spectacles off, and essentially ringing his bell. Doppler saw stars, then sat down hard, his head spinning.
Amelia winced at the snap of the stout broom handle taking the good Doctor directly in the face. The poor man lost his spectacles in the process, and then sat down with a thump, his expression decidedly unfocused. She moved over and knelt down, quickly inspecting him for signs of injury. "Doctor? Hello? How many fingers am I holding up?" she asked, holding up two slender fingers.
"Hmm?" the woozy Doppler replied, blinking owlishly at the Captain. He saw two of her, which wasn't necessarily a bad thing. "Why...hello there! Did you know, you're very pretty, Miss Whoever-You-Are. Well, the both of you, I mean," he told her, er, them truthfully, indicating each in their turn.
Amelia smiled, rolled her eyes and then shook her head. That broom handle must of thumped him rather hard. Was it her imagination...or had he just told her he thought her pretty? She wrote it off as a result of his recent incapacitation. "Rest easy, Doctor. I'm sure you'll be right as rain in a moment," she assured him.
"Two," he told her moments later, surprising her.
"Pardon me?" Amelia responded, not clear on what he was talking about now.
"I saw two fingers, Captain," Doppler told her, his face reddening once again. "And, I do hope you'll forgive me for my, er...boldness a moment ago." His eyes were now focused, and he was working his nose and forehead to ease the sting of the slight welt rising there.
Ah, so he had told her he found her pretty, she surmised. No, not just pretty. But very pretty. She was then startled to realize that his observation had given her a warm rush of...well, something. "Already forgotten, Doctor. You were clearly not yourself, my good man. Now...are you certain you're all right?" she responded.
"I'll be fine, Captain," he assured her, moving on to his knees, his weak eyes narrowed, his hands searching obviously for his missing spectacles. "That is...I will be just as soon as I find my blasted spectacles..."
Amelia's sharp green eyes found the missing eyewear immediately. She carefully plucked them up with the claws of her thumb and forefinger, and extended them toward Doppler. "Here you are," she told him.
"Thank heavens," he replied, thankfully. He reached out and took his spectacles from her and re-perched them on his nose. He sighed happily to be able to see clearly again. "Thank you very much, Captain. I don't know what I'd do without them."
"You're very welcome, Doctor," she responded with a nod. "Now, do you think we might get back to work? You know...before daybreak, that is?" She didn't know precisely why, but teasing this poor fellow gave her quiet amusement.
As if on cue, Doppler blushed again. "I'm terribly sorry, Captain. I...I'm afraid I don't know what's come over me. I'm not nearly this clumsy most of the time," he admitted. He winced as he pondered what he had just said. But covered up for it by grabbing the push broom that had nearly cleaned his clock and began sweeping the floor with diligence.
Between the two of them, it didn't take too long to get the floor swept up of all debris. Amelia then began picking up the belongings of hers that had been dashed about and put them away, as Doppler plied a mop over the now cleared floors of her cabin. After nearly an hour's worth of work, the stateroom---with the exclusion of the shattered windows, of course---was fairly ship-shape once again.
Amelia sat down wearily, but satisfied, in her desk chair. She looked up at where Doppler stood, leaning against his mop handle. He had taken his somewhat faded burgundy jacket off a half hour ago, and now had his sleeves rolled back. "Nicely done, Doctor. And...thank you for your help. I feel a bit better now about the place," she explained.
"Glad to of been of help, Captain," he replied good-naturedly, though he paused to rub the red welt in his forehead. "Well, as much help as I was, at least," he gamely offered in a self-depreciating manner.
"Nonsense, Doctor," she assured him. "Once you got down to work, you were most efficient."
"Thank you again, Captain. But it was my pleasure to help," he told her, and he meant it. He then moved closer, though he did so a bit tentatively. "Are you sure that you're all right?" he asked her, his eyes looking her over carefully.
"Oh. You mean Arrow and all that?" she replied, rather nonchalantly. Must remain composed, Amelia, she told herself rigidly. "It's like I told you all before...all spacers know the risks, and accept them. It's not like he was the first spacer to be lost, Doctor..." What a crock, she told herself, berating herself for trivializing the death of her best friend in such a way. The tightness in her chest grew anew, and that blasted lump was reforming in her throat.
Doppler looked at her, clearly surprised. "B-B-But, Captain," he voiced in a confused manner. "I thought...well, that Mr. Arrow was more than just a spacer to you. I mean, you two seemed to be...er, rather close friends." If not more, he told himself a bit reluctantly.
Amelia swiveled her chair to face away from the Doctor. "Well, yes. Arrow and I had traveled together for quite some time. We had a fine working relationship, Doctor. I know I shall miss that..." Liar, she screamed at herself. Arrow was the closest thing she had to family in the galaxy, and here you tell the rather sympathetic Doctor that "I shall miss our 'fine working relationship''"! She felt a burning in her eyes, that lump had become an ache in her throat. She found it hard to breathe calmly.
"Undoubtedly, Captain," responded Doppler, as gently as he could manage. "I'm sure you will miss him indeed." He looked at the back of her head, and realized he was mesmerized by the color of her hair. He shook his head to clear those thoughts away. "As will we all, to a lesser extent, I'm sure. I didn't have long to get to know the man, but in the time I had, I found---"
"Shut up, Doctor!" Amelia snapped, whirling her chair about. Her green eyes glistened, but reflected immense anger as well. "Shut up! How could you know anything about Arrow?"
Doppler was stunned by this abrupt reversal in her behavior. "I---I'm sorry, Captain. I simply thought---"
Amelia was now furious...though not really at the Doctor, who she was taking it out on---admittedly most unfairly. "You thought?" she taunted him. "Ha! There's a first! Do you know, Doctor, you can keep your apologies! And your thoughts too, for that matter!" She was now standing up, her ears flattened against her skull, her green eyes wide and blazing. Her chest rose and fell with her ragged breathing. Doppler cringed to be the recipient of her ire. A part of her was ashamed by her treatment of the poor Doctor...but some other more primal part of her needed this release. "Just who do you think you are, Doctor Doppler? Hmm? Appearing so kind, so understanding. Rubbish! You don't know one thing about Sylvester Arrow! You don't know one thing about how I'm---" she gasped, the pain behind her eyes, in her throat, and especially in her chest becoming unbearable. "I'm---"she tried to start again, but faltered. "---feeling! How could you know? How could a spoiled stuffed shirt like you understand anything of how much I've suffered? How much I've lost in my life? Hmm? Care to tell me that, Doctor?"
Doppler blinked, flinching as she berated and belittled him. Odd thing was, he thought, I most likely deserve all of it. "You're right, of course. I can't," he told her apologetically. But then his brown eyes hardened unexpectedly. "But in all fairness, how could I, Captain? You tell me nothing...yet, somehow expect me to know what you're thinking! What you're feeling! Well...I bloody well can't!" His chest was heaving, and his face was flushed.
Amelia was taken aback by Doppler's retort. "Why...how dare you! Just who in blazes do you think you are!" she roared at him, one tear leaking down from the inside corner of her left eye.
Doppler, to her surprise, didn't flinch this time. In fact, to her immense consternation, he actually took a step closer to her. He then tugged down on the corners of his vest in a surprisingly familiar gesture to her, then adjusted his spectacles. Doppler then walked right up to her, so that his face was only six inches from her own, and his suddenly fierce brown eyes bore down on her. She inwardly cringed at that expression, as it was so unlike the timid Doctor she had thought she had known. His face was suddenly transformed as he smiled a truly gentle smile at her, his remarkable brown eyes suddenly filled with compassion...and something else entirely---something that frankly frightened Amelia. "Someone who cares," was all he said.
Amelia was stunned, and sat down, blinking. "Whatever do you mean?" she said, confused.
"I should think that should be rather obvious," Doppler replied in that same blasted calm voice of his. "Now, it's rather late, and you could most likely use some sleep, Captain. So...I will bid you a good night." He turned to head toward the door. He never made it though, as a slender hand gripped his right bicep, holding him back.
"No, wait," pleaded Amelia, whose towering rage seemed to have been snuffed out like a candle in a gale. "Doctor... Why? Why would you care?" she asked, needing, wanting to know. That single tear continued its course down her smooth cheek.
"Why?" Doppler echoed, his heart going out to this woman. "Hmm. A good question, Captain..."
Amelia cringed at his saying that, fully aware of the terrible things she had just said to him. "I'm sorry, Doctor. I had no right at all to say those terrible things to you," she confessed with just the barest hint of a sniffle.
"Nonsense," he informed her with that same gentle smile. "You are hurting, Captain. In pain. And people---I've observed---tend to lash out when they are in pain. You owe me no apology, Captain. But, back to your original question..."
"Yes?" Amelia replied in a voice like a little girl, with yet another suppressed sniffle.
"Well, you see...you always try so hard to be the exemplary Captain...never showing any emotion, always calm, always in command. Yet, whether you like it or not, you are still a person, too, with emotions...just like the rest of us all," he told her. "Now, I might not be the most observant person in the galaxy...but even I could see the pain, the loss, the horror you felt when Arrow was gone." He looked at her, his eyes full of sympathy for her.
Amelia sniffled softly again, trying so desperately not give in to her pain and loss. The Doctor had read her like a book, despite all her attempts to hide behind the carefully constructed façade she had used for so many years. His rather insightful observation struck a chord, and the unflappable Amelia cracked...though only once. "H-He was my best friend, you know. My only f-f-family," she managed to reveal, scrunching up her face to keep her raging emotions in check.
"I believe you. You have my most sincere condolences, " Doppler told her, his voice caring. "Do you know, I watched you. And---not even once---did you ever crack. Ever show so much as one sniffle. I was impressed." He paused, gulped, then continued on, as if he was afraid to stop for fear of never finishing what he had to sasy. "And, later...not one person---not even one!---offered you so much as a word of sympathy or condolences. That just wasn't right," he told her. There was a timbre in his voice that somehow managed to express his sympathies as well as his anger.
Amelia said nothing, but sniffed once again, as one more fat tear rolled down her left cheek.
"It took me a while...but, I just had to try to let you know," Doppler confessed to her, trying to make her understand. "Let you know that someone cared. About you and your feelings. And, I do...you know. Care, that is," he added in embarrassment.
"Do you know," Amelia managed somehow to say. "I think I believe you, Doctor. And...thank you."
Doppler smiled a shy grin, and without thinking about what he was doing, gently wiped away the tear that slowly fell down her smooth cheek. "It will be all right, Captain," he told her, his voice brimming with compassion. "Maybe not today. Maybe not this week. But someday. Someday it will be all right. You'll see."
Amelia's lower lip trembled, the ache of Arrow's loss still heavy in her. But...but, something told her that the suddenly so eloquent Doctor was right. It would hurt now...but someday, she would be able to get on with her life without Arrow. And, maybe, she told herself with a mental smile, there was someone who really cared for her after all... She looked up at the Doctor, who looked down at her, his face soft with his care. His care...for her. Now, wasn't that a surprise...and quite a pleasant one to boot. Amelia suddenly felt exhausted, drained...but in a good way. She couldn't help the huge yawn that followed. She grinned in embarrassment from that action.
Doppler appeared pleasantly amused. "Ah, I see the day has finally caught up with our fine Captain at last," he observed clinically, but with a smile.
"I do believe," answered Amelia with yet another yawn, "that you are right, Doctor."
"Well, then," he replied, giving her an understanding look. "I probably should be going, Captain. You know, get some sleep myself and all that..." Truth be told, he really didn't want to leave her just now. But, he expected she did need her rest...and rather desperately by now.
"Er, yes," answered Amelia, reluctant to let him go just now. "I do suppose you're right, Doctor."
"Of course," Doppler then said, turning for the door once more. "Good night, Captain."
"Good night, Doctor," Amelia replied, wishing she wasn't so tired. "I..."
"Yes, Captain?" Doppler said, looking over his shoulder, curious.
"Thank you, Doctor...for everything," Amelia told him, wanting to say more, but suddenly too embarrassed to continue. She swallowed once, then added, "It's rather good to know that I have at least one friend..."
Doctor Doppler beamed at her telling him that, and she felt a rush of pleasure in that. He was really quite the fellow, actually, thought Amelia. Easy to underestimate, though easy to figure out sometimes as well. Doppler smiled at her, and that smile of his made her blush ever so slightly. "I think you will find, my friend, that you most likely have far more than just one, Captain," he confided in her, with a conspiratorial smile.
She then gave him a genuine smile, one that made that ache in her chest recede to tolerable levels. She reached out a hand to take his and squeeze it in her thanks. "Thank you, Doctor. Er, if you have the time later, I would like to talk with you more. I find that I have many things I'd really like to talk about...you know, with a friend..."
"Any time, Captain," Doppler offered gallantly. "I rather look forward to it, actually." He then turned toward the door and actually made it there this time, leaving Amelia standing behind her desk, gazing at him. He turned back once, and smiled. "Remember, Captain, if you ever need me, I will be there for you. You see, that's because I'm---"
Amelia smiled, then cut him off. "I know. Someone who cares," she finished, feeling better already. "Well, off with you then, Doctor," she told him, a bit of actual fondness in her voice this time. "Get some rest, and that's an order!" her green eyes twinkled as she told him that.
Doppler grinned, then gave her a jaunty salute. "Aye aye, Captain. Do try to get some rest, please?"
"All right, all right," Amelia pretended to grouse. "But, I shall have a hard time doing that if you persist in standing there jawing at me all night, Doctor..."
"Good night," he told her, his eyes betraying some of what he felt for this remarkable woman.
"Good night, Doctor," Amelia returned as he stepped through the stateroom door, and she eased it closed. "My friend..."
Finis