Author's Note: Um... So Zelda's captured, Colt's depressed, and Link's...
well... Link. (That was my recap for those of us who're too lazy to
actually READ the rest of the story.) We have a baddie now... and I'm
trying to figure out where I'm going with this. I have a general idea, but
getting there is half the fun, right?
Chapter 10: What I Really Meant to Say
I don't know how long I sat there, curled in a ball, before I became aware that Link had his arm around me. He looked... uncomfortable. I guess he wasn't used to seeing grown men cry, and had only a vague idea of how he should act. I can't say I blamed him, though. He lived in a fantasy world where everything turned out all right for him in the end. I wish I could say the same for myself.
It took me a minute, but I finally found my voice. "We should go. If the guards find us..." Link just nodded. Neither of us felt the need to point out that most, if not all, of the guards weren't going to be making their rounds ever again.
I couldn't shake the feeling that this was all my fault. If I hadn't been so selfish, back in California, then everything would still be okay. My sheltered view of the world as I knew it wouldn't be lying in pieces at the bottom of my mental filing cabinet, I wouldn't be sitting here being comforted by someone who, for all I knew, didn't even exist a week ago, and there wouldn't be any psychotic sorcerers out for my blood.
Link stood, and proffered his hand. I took it, and stood unsteadily, leaning on him perhaps a little more for moral support than physical. "Where are we going?" I queried weakly. I wasn't sure I cared, as long as it was away from here. He just shook his head.
"L...l...later." His tone, despite the stutter, brooked no argument, which was fine with me. I was in no mood to argue anyway. He led me down the corridor, while I tried not to look at the display of death and dismemberment that had taken residence in the once regal palace. It was an effort, since almost everywhere I looked there was evidence of the recent battle. Scraps of bloodied cloth, broken swords, body parts. My gut wrenched, and it took all the willpower I had left not to vomit. Some great hero I turned out to be. One battle, and already I was crying for Mommy. It wasn't like I had even killed anyone. Link had done all the work. All I had done was antagonized the fruit-loop.
We reached the town in record time. It was strange, to watch the townsfolk go about their daily lives with next to no understanding of what had just happened a football field's length away. I wanted to scream at them, to make them understand, but Link's grasp was unforgiving, and the expression on his normally open face was unreadable. Had I alienated the one person I felt connected to, when I had betrayed the only other person we could both trust implicitly? In one single stroke, I had managed to become alone again. Link's attitude towards me seemed inconsistent. One minute we were playing duets in Hyrule Field, and the next, he was dragging me by my wrist to places unknown. How did he feel about me? And did it even matter, at this point?
I mentally scolded myself. ~Dammit, Colt. You have better things to do than sing 'Heartbreak Hotel.' Zelda's gone, and you may be next. Focus. Now is not the time to cry over some blonde who may or may not hate you.~ Time was short, and I had to figure out what we were going to do. ~We? There IS no we! Only you and him. Two separate entities with perhaps a common goal, but in no way a we.~ I shoved the thought away. This was a wasted train of thought, leading only to endless self-pity and loathing. So, I contended myself with examining our surroundings as best I could, given the speed of our departure.
Finally, Link allowed us to rest, slumping to the ground. I look at him questioningly, but he was silent. Well, more silent than usual, at least. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what was on his mind, anyway, so I leaned against the wall sullenly. This whole adventuring thing isn't everything it's cracked up to be. I tried to come across as vaguely disinterested, but his silence stung. I couldn't take it anymore. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know she would do that. I didn't know! Please, don't be like this." I was on the verge of tears again.
He didn't look at me, but he spoke, slowly, deliberately, trying hard to overcome the stutter that had been a barrier between us since I had arrived. "You...could...have...been...k..killed." I froze, shocked. I had thought he was mad at me for getting the princess caught, but he had been worried... about me?
"I thought... what about Zelda?" He looked at me, for the first time since we'd left the castle, and shook his head.
"The p..princess c...can be saved. But you..." He was right, of course. How many times had Zelda been kidnapped, and Link had always come to her rescue. I, on the other hand, was an anomaly around here... There was no precedent to follow. I could, theoretically, have dropped dead at any time. I shivered the thought away, and reached out for Link, but he pulled away, his eyes wet. Suddenly, I realized what was wrong. In letting me get close to him, he had given the Fates a hostage. Me. He actually cared about me, so if something were to happen... There would always be that bit of concern, especially after what had happened in the Princess's chambers.
"So what do we do now, then?" Saying anything through the lump in my throat was an effort, but that was especially difficult... I already knew the answer.
He glanced away, wiping his eyes in a half-concealed gesture to regain his composure. "I s...save Zelda. Y..you g..go to Kokiri F...forest. Y...you'll be s...safe there."
The response was what I had expected, but that didn't mean I would go quietly. "No! I want to go with you! I have every right to help... after all, this is MY journey too... You don't understand! If I don't, I'll never get back to my own universe." He froze, and turned to stare at me. Shit. I guess I left that part out. I scuffed my foot in the dirt. "Forgot to tell you that, huh?" He didn't answer. Not that I blame him. "It's not a big deal, you know? So I'm inter-dimensionally displaced. Who isn't, nowadays?" I forced myself to laugh, but when I looked into his eyes, I could see I had deeply hurt him.
He shook his head, as if he were trying to rid himself of the thought of me. "F...forest." His voice chilled me. He'd never sounded so cold.
"But..." I protested, but it was too late. "Fine," I yelled at his receding figure, "be that way! I didn't want to go with you anyway!" My voice cracked, and I succumbed to the sobbing for the second time that day.
Chapter 10: What I Really Meant to Say
I don't know how long I sat there, curled in a ball, before I became aware that Link had his arm around me. He looked... uncomfortable. I guess he wasn't used to seeing grown men cry, and had only a vague idea of how he should act. I can't say I blamed him, though. He lived in a fantasy world where everything turned out all right for him in the end. I wish I could say the same for myself.
It took me a minute, but I finally found my voice. "We should go. If the guards find us..." Link just nodded. Neither of us felt the need to point out that most, if not all, of the guards weren't going to be making their rounds ever again.
I couldn't shake the feeling that this was all my fault. If I hadn't been so selfish, back in California, then everything would still be okay. My sheltered view of the world as I knew it wouldn't be lying in pieces at the bottom of my mental filing cabinet, I wouldn't be sitting here being comforted by someone who, for all I knew, didn't even exist a week ago, and there wouldn't be any psychotic sorcerers out for my blood.
Link stood, and proffered his hand. I took it, and stood unsteadily, leaning on him perhaps a little more for moral support than physical. "Where are we going?" I queried weakly. I wasn't sure I cared, as long as it was away from here. He just shook his head.
"L...l...later." His tone, despite the stutter, brooked no argument, which was fine with me. I was in no mood to argue anyway. He led me down the corridor, while I tried not to look at the display of death and dismemberment that had taken residence in the once regal palace. It was an effort, since almost everywhere I looked there was evidence of the recent battle. Scraps of bloodied cloth, broken swords, body parts. My gut wrenched, and it took all the willpower I had left not to vomit. Some great hero I turned out to be. One battle, and already I was crying for Mommy. It wasn't like I had even killed anyone. Link had done all the work. All I had done was antagonized the fruit-loop.
We reached the town in record time. It was strange, to watch the townsfolk go about their daily lives with next to no understanding of what had just happened a football field's length away. I wanted to scream at them, to make them understand, but Link's grasp was unforgiving, and the expression on his normally open face was unreadable. Had I alienated the one person I felt connected to, when I had betrayed the only other person we could both trust implicitly? In one single stroke, I had managed to become alone again. Link's attitude towards me seemed inconsistent. One minute we were playing duets in Hyrule Field, and the next, he was dragging me by my wrist to places unknown. How did he feel about me? And did it even matter, at this point?
I mentally scolded myself. ~Dammit, Colt. You have better things to do than sing 'Heartbreak Hotel.' Zelda's gone, and you may be next. Focus. Now is not the time to cry over some blonde who may or may not hate you.~ Time was short, and I had to figure out what we were going to do. ~We? There IS no we! Only you and him. Two separate entities with perhaps a common goal, but in no way a we.~ I shoved the thought away. This was a wasted train of thought, leading only to endless self-pity and loathing. So, I contended myself with examining our surroundings as best I could, given the speed of our departure.
Finally, Link allowed us to rest, slumping to the ground. I look at him questioningly, but he was silent. Well, more silent than usual, at least. I wasn't sure I wanted to know what was on his mind, anyway, so I leaned against the wall sullenly. This whole adventuring thing isn't everything it's cracked up to be. I tried to come across as vaguely disinterested, but his silence stung. I couldn't take it anymore. "Look, I'm sorry, okay? I didn't know she would do that. I didn't know! Please, don't be like this." I was on the verge of tears again.
He didn't look at me, but he spoke, slowly, deliberately, trying hard to overcome the stutter that had been a barrier between us since I had arrived. "You...could...have...been...k..killed." I froze, shocked. I had thought he was mad at me for getting the princess caught, but he had been worried... about me?
"I thought... what about Zelda?" He looked at me, for the first time since we'd left the castle, and shook his head.
"The p..princess c...can be saved. But you..." He was right, of course. How many times had Zelda been kidnapped, and Link had always come to her rescue. I, on the other hand, was an anomaly around here... There was no precedent to follow. I could, theoretically, have dropped dead at any time. I shivered the thought away, and reached out for Link, but he pulled away, his eyes wet. Suddenly, I realized what was wrong. In letting me get close to him, he had given the Fates a hostage. Me. He actually cared about me, so if something were to happen... There would always be that bit of concern, especially after what had happened in the Princess's chambers.
"So what do we do now, then?" Saying anything through the lump in my throat was an effort, but that was especially difficult... I already knew the answer.
He glanced away, wiping his eyes in a half-concealed gesture to regain his composure. "I s...save Zelda. Y..you g..go to Kokiri F...forest. Y...you'll be s...safe there."
The response was what I had expected, but that didn't mean I would go quietly. "No! I want to go with you! I have every right to help... after all, this is MY journey too... You don't understand! If I don't, I'll never get back to my own universe." He froze, and turned to stare at me. Shit. I guess I left that part out. I scuffed my foot in the dirt. "Forgot to tell you that, huh?" He didn't answer. Not that I blame him. "It's not a big deal, you know? So I'm inter-dimensionally displaced. Who isn't, nowadays?" I forced myself to laugh, but when I looked into his eyes, I could see I had deeply hurt him.
He shook his head, as if he were trying to rid himself of the thought of me. "F...forest." His voice chilled me. He'd never sounded so cold.
"But..." I protested, but it was too late. "Fine," I yelled at his receding figure, "be that way! I didn't want to go with you anyway!" My voice cracked, and I succumbed to the sobbing for the second time that day.