Chapter 9: Shattered Soul (Juri)
I slammed the door to my room and leant against it heavily, reaching my fingers out to brush a few stray strands of hair from my face. My anger and frustration had finally exploded. Subconsciously I began to undress to take a long, hot shower. 'I can't stand this. Any of this.' I thought furiously. I had known from the beginning it was a bad idea to accept her in. . .but only a fool would challenge the decisions of the End of the World. . . .Right?
How was I to know? In accepting my position on Student Council, from the moment I opened the letter containing my ring, I had signed an unwritten pact with this mysterious person who claimed I could achieve the power of miracles. I was enraged, of course. . . Anger is my instinctive reaction to a lot of things now. I accepted only because I wanted to crush this power, or whoever claimed to have it. Innocent minds should no longer be disillusioned and embittered by such lies.
So I traded in my carefree schoolgirls' uniform for more authoritarian attire. I curled my hair into tight ringlets and became cold and distant to all but the closest to me. I closed my heart to feelings love. . .or tried to. Not even after this transformation could I protect myself from the hope that had torn at my heart for years. For although my outward image became that of the invincible, beautiful panther, inside I was crippled beyond repair. . .
I slipped into the shower room adjacent to mine, dressed in nothing but the irremovable chain, and turned the water on as hot as it could go. The heat seemed to melt my icy disposition down to the core, and suddenly I felt like busting into tears. . .
Nobody could understand what it was like to put on a mask every day, pretending as if I was unbreakable when in reality I was shattered. It would have been different if she had found out and told me she hated me. It would have been different if I had gotten a straight answer. But I never told her before she left, and now all I had left were a few tattered memories, and endless sea of confusion and guilt, and the crippling hope chaining me down.
My skin burned red in protest to the onslaught of steaming water, so at last I was forced to turn it off.
I slammed the door to my room and leant against it heavily, reaching my fingers out to brush a few stray strands of hair from my face. My anger and frustration had finally exploded. Subconsciously I began to undress to take a long, hot shower. 'I can't stand this. Any of this.' I thought furiously. I had known from the beginning it was a bad idea to accept her in. . .but only a fool would challenge the decisions of the End of the World. . . .Right?
How was I to know? In accepting my position on Student Council, from the moment I opened the letter containing my ring, I had signed an unwritten pact with this mysterious person who claimed I could achieve the power of miracles. I was enraged, of course. . . Anger is my instinctive reaction to a lot of things now. I accepted only because I wanted to crush this power, or whoever claimed to have it. Innocent minds should no longer be disillusioned and embittered by such lies.
So I traded in my carefree schoolgirls' uniform for more authoritarian attire. I curled my hair into tight ringlets and became cold and distant to all but the closest to me. I closed my heart to feelings love. . .or tried to. Not even after this transformation could I protect myself from the hope that had torn at my heart for years. For although my outward image became that of the invincible, beautiful panther, inside I was crippled beyond repair. . .
I slipped into the shower room adjacent to mine, dressed in nothing but the irremovable chain, and turned the water on as hot as it could go. The heat seemed to melt my icy disposition down to the core, and suddenly I felt like busting into tears. . .
Nobody could understand what it was like to put on a mask every day, pretending as if I was unbreakable when in reality I was shattered. It would have been different if she had found out and told me she hated me. It would have been different if I had gotten a straight answer. But I never told her before she left, and now all I had left were a few tattered memories, and endless sea of confusion and guilt, and the crippling hope chaining me down.
My skin burned red in protest to the onslaught of steaming water, so at last I was forced to turn it off.