Chapter 5- A Midnight Phone Call (lingering memories)
The dark room overflowed with a brilliant white light and then all was dark.
One-one thousand…
Thunder boomed and Lizzie, who had been deep in sleep, quickly rose with her eyes wide open. The room, which she was sharing with Emily for the night, was darker than the night outside. The rain was now falling harder than at any other point in the past six hours and the thunder was right overhead. It, however, had not been the thunder or lightning that had woken her from sleep; it was something else. What was it...? The ringing phone answered her question. Lizzie shook off lingering sleep and blindly reached for her cell phone resting on the night table.
"Hello." She barely managed to mumble a greeting,
"...Lizzie?"
Her whole body tightened, her eyes, which were already wide-open, stretched open further and she could feel her body temperature drop. Was that…? After six years was it actually? The answer to her question crossed her lips before she realized.
"Gordo?"
"Yeah...yes, it's me."
The voice seemed to come from inside of her head and millions of light-years away at the same time. She forced the only logical next question through her lips.
"What…How…Why?"
"I'm here, in Houston...near Larry and Miranda's. I want to see you.... tonight."
He wanted to see her? Six years ago he acted like he never wanted to see her again, but now in the middle of the night with rain pouring down he was desperate to see her. What was worse, she realized, was that she wanted to see him too.
"...Lizzie, are you still there?"
"How did you know where I was!?" Lizzie whispered and shouted at the same time. Emily made a grunting sound and rolled over.
"Miranda called and…It's not important...I need to see you tonight…"
Lizzie still could not comprehend that she was talking to Gordo, was this real? She pinched herself… The dark room once again lit up with a flash of light.
"I'm at Franklin Park."
"I'll be there in ten minutes."
The thunder that had once filled the dark house had stopped and the rain was now only a light drizzle. Lizzie quickly crawled out of bed and pulled her jacket on over her pajamas as she raced down the stairs to the front door. Before she knew it she was running down the street trying to get to him.
The drizzle had slowed to a barely there mist and it created a foggy ambience that seemed to go on for miles in every direction; houses became an undistinguishable blur. The streetlights that were parallel along either side of the street seemed to intersect at some point in the distance; At that point, she thought, is where she would meet Gordo.
The time passed in that way it does when the hour is late and Lizzie finally arrived at the park entrance. She crossed through the wet grass and trees towards the visitor center. A late night animal scurried past her as she wandered through a dense
section of trees. The fog at her feet did not allow her to see what it was but she could hear it rustle in the bushes behind her. She thought it might be a raccoon returning home to feed it's family. The thought of this reminded her of Emily. EMILY! She had been in such a hurry to get to Gordo that she had forgotten about Emily. She needed to stop and go home right now, but she was unable to stop. He was too close.
The fog in all directions had become so thick that she felt she might get lost and she may have if it had not been for the flashing light, at the entrance to the visitor center, guiding her. When she got there she looked around frantically, worried that she had missed him, but then she saw a shadowy figure, coming out of the fog, walking toward her. Even in the dark night, his blue eyes shown like a lighthouse guiding her towards him…
"Gordo" Lizzie gasped; tears started to fill her eyes. It was him, it was his smell and his embrace. After six, long and eventful, years, there he was, standing in front of her. The emotions almost became too much for her handle, and she felt herself start to faint. Gordo reached out his arms and caught her.
"Is it really you?" she asked.
He smiled gently at her as he stood in front of her, that smile, the smile that Emily had flashed so many times.
"It's really me."
"What are you doing here, Gordo?"
"I've needed to see you, I've missed you so much, I needed to be near you again."
With that he pulled Lizzie tighter into his arms and held her. It was the first time she had felt him in six years and the feeling literally took her breath away. Parts of her knew that she needed to pull away and tell him the truth; tell him the secret that she had carried for six years now. Part of her wanted to beat him senseless, to yell and scream and make him feel the same pain that she had felt all those lonely nights. Part of her wanted to be in his arms, to hear his voice, and to feel his embrace; all the conflicting emotions overwhelmed her; she just wrapped her arms around him as well and let him hold her.
Finally, her conscience kicked in and she pulled away. "No Gordo, I can't, I have to tell you something."
Gordo stared at her.
"I… You…" Lizzie could barely finish the sentence, tears started to fall. Gordo reached out to touch her shoulder, but she backed off and shook her head; she had to get this out. "Please don't touch me, I don't know how to feel right now." His embrace would only confuse her more at this moment.
"Gordo, you have...we have a daughter. Her name is Emily, she's five and a half, she's beautiful and she's smart… she's grumpy like you in the morning and..." Lizzie's voice trailed off and she started to sob uncontrollably.
After a minute or so, Lizzie looked up to find Gordo still staring at her in with a look of disbelief on his face. She saw anger flashing in his eyes; they no longer appeared warm, they were now cold and reserved.
"I'm so sorry Gordo, I'm sorry I never told you, I should have, I just… I don't know." Lizzie shook her head and took a deep breath. She wanted to explain, to make him understand why she had kept her secret, but in truth she didn't really know. Gordo had still not said a word; it was beginning to scare Lizzie. She wanted to tell him to say something, but she kept talking; if only to fill the overwhelming silence.
"Please don't hate me Gordo…or Emily, it's not her fault! It's my fault, I lied." Once again Lizzie could barely speak she was crying so hard, it was becoming hard to breathe. The night fog began to close in around her and a feeling of claustrophobia set in. What had seemed like a dream began to reveal itself for the nightmare that it was slowly becoming.
" I lied to you, and to my parents and to Matt and to most of my friends… I lied…I lied to Emily, my own daughter; I'm her mother, she should be able to trust me, but I LIED, I LIED!" Her mouth was becoming overwhelmingly dry despite the increasing moisture in the night air. "I'm sorry," she gasped, "I wish I could take it back Gordo, I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry." Lizzie had to stop; she was almost choking on the sobs.
Gordo finally did something; he put his hand on her shoulder. His blue eyes were now just blue, but very distant. He looked ready to speak. Would he yell...scream? Lizzie braced herself for whatever would happen. The thunder became loud again; the storms were coming back. He opened his mouth.
"Mommy, mommy I'm scared!"
"What why…" Lizzie's mind began to race. "Gordo!?...."
"Mommy please wake up!"
Suddenly Lizzie shot straight up in bed and found herself staring into, not Gordo's blue eyes, but Emily's. She looked at the clock; it read 3:45am.
"What…" Lizzie gasped trying desperately to breathe and realizing that tears were streaming down her face. It was only a dream.
"Mommy the thunder scared me and you were crying … and you wouldn't wake up." Emily began to cry as well; it snapped Lizzie back to reality.
"Its okay baby, come here" Lizzie opened her arms and her little girl crawled into them. Lizzie may have been comforting Emily but in many ways Emily was comforting Lizzie just as much; soon both had stopped crying.
"Mommy, are you sad?" Emily whispered, "You were crying and saying 'I'm sorry'."
Lizzie cringed at the thought of the dream; it had seemed so real.
"It was just a bad dream, sweetheart, I'm fine."
"Were there witches and ghosts?" Emily looked up at her with big questioning blue eyes.
Lizzie shook her head. "Nope, just a silly dream, all better." That was a lie but Lizzie had scared her daughter enough for one night. Emily nodded and laid her head against her mothers' chest. Lizzie rocked her gently for a few moments, humming softly and before long the little girl had fallen back to sleep.
Sleep didn't come again to Lizzie that night; the dream haunted her. She had spent so many years being angry with Gordo, and convincing herself that she had done the right thing, that she had never stopped to really think about what she had done. She had lied, and she knew that she was going to have to suffer the consequences. She was also faced with her resurfacing feelings for Gordo; as angry with him as she had been these last few years, deep in her heart she knew she still loved him. She knew that she wanted him to love her back. What if her lie had completely messed that up?
A/N: Please don't hate me for this chapter; I was trying to show the beginnings of internal conflict, and Lizzie realizing the full impact of what she had done. It will come out to Gordo soon, not next chapter, probably the next.
The dark room overflowed with a brilliant white light and then all was dark.
One-one thousand…
Thunder boomed and Lizzie, who had been deep in sleep, quickly rose with her eyes wide open. The room, which she was sharing with Emily for the night, was darker than the night outside. The rain was now falling harder than at any other point in the past six hours and the thunder was right overhead. It, however, had not been the thunder or lightning that had woken her from sleep; it was something else. What was it...? The ringing phone answered her question. Lizzie shook off lingering sleep and blindly reached for her cell phone resting on the night table.
"Hello." She barely managed to mumble a greeting,
"...Lizzie?"
Her whole body tightened, her eyes, which were already wide-open, stretched open further and she could feel her body temperature drop. Was that…? After six years was it actually? The answer to her question crossed her lips before she realized.
"Gordo?"
"Yeah...yes, it's me."
The voice seemed to come from inside of her head and millions of light-years away at the same time. She forced the only logical next question through her lips.
"What…How…Why?"
"I'm here, in Houston...near Larry and Miranda's. I want to see you.... tonight."
He wanted to see her? Six years ago he acted like he never wanted to see her again, but now in the middle of the night with rain pouring down he was desperate to see her. What was worse, she realized, was that she wanted to see him too.
"...Lizzie, are you still there?"
"How did you know where I was!?" Lizzie whispered and shouted at the same time. Emily made a grunting sound and rolled over.
"Miranda called and…It's not important...I need to see you tonight…"
Lizzie still could not comprehend that she was talking to Gordo, was this real? She pinched herself… The dark room once again lit up with a flash of light.
"I'm at Franklin Park."
"I'll be there in ten minutes."
The thunder that had once filled the dark house had stopped and the rain was now only a light drizzle. Lizzie quickly crawled out of bed and pulled her jacket on over her pajamas as she raced down the stairs to the front door. Before she knew it she was running down the street trying to get to him.
The drizzle had slowed to a barely there mist and it created a foggy ambience that seemed to go on for miles in every direction; houses became an undistinguishable blur. The streetlights that were parallel along either side of the street seemed to intersect at some point in the distance; At that point, she thought, is where she would meet Gordo.
The time passed in that way it does when the hour is late and Lizzie finally arrived at the park entrance. She crossed through the wet grass and trees towards the visitor center. A late night animal scurried past her as she wandered through a dense
section of trees. The fog at her feet did not allow her to see what it was but she could hear it rustle in the bushes behind her. She thought it might be a raccoon returning home to feed it's family. The thought of this reminded her of Emily. EMILY! She had been in such a hurry to get to Gordo that she had forgotten about Emily. She needed to stop and go home right now, but she was unable to stop. He was too close.
The fog in all directions had become so thick that she felt she might get lost and she may have if it had not been for the flashing light, at the entrance to the visitor center, guiding her. When she got there she looked around frantically, worried that she had missed him, but then she saw a shadowy figure, coming out of the fog, walking toward her. Even in the dark night, his blue eyes shown like a lighthouse guiding her towards him…
"Gordo" Lizzie gasped; tears started to fill her eyes. It was him, it was his smell and his embrace. After six, long and eventful, years, there he was, standing in front of her. The emotions almost became too much for her handle, and she felt herself start to faint. Gordo reached out his arms and caught her.
"Is it really you?" she asked.
He smiled gently at her as he stood in front of her, that smile, the smile that Emily had flashed so many times.
"It's really me."
"What are you doing here, Gordo?"
"I've needed to see you, I've missed you so much, I needed to be near you again."
With that he pulled Lizzie tighter into his arms and held her. It was the first time she had felt him in six years and the feeling literally took her breath away. Parts of her knew that she needed to pull away and tell him the truth; tell him the secret that she had carried for six years now. Part of her wanted to beat him senseless, to yell and scream and make him feel the same pain that she had felt all those lonely nights. Part of her wanted to be in his arms, to hear his voice, and to feel his embrace; all the conflicting emotions overwhelmed her; she just wrapped her arms around him as well and let him hold her.
Finally, her conscience kicked in and she pulled away. "No Gordo, I can't, I have to tell you something."
Gordo stared at her.
"I… You…" Lizzie could barely finish the sentence, tears started to fall. Gordo reached out to touch her shoulder, but she backed off and shook her head; she had to get this out. "Please don't touch me, I don't know how to feel right now." His embrace would only confuse her more at this moment.
"Gordo, you have...we have a daughter. Her name is Emily, she's five and a half, she's beautiful and she's smart… she's grumpy like you in the morning and..." Lizzie's voice trailed off and she started to sob uncontrollably.
After a minute or so, Lizzie looked up to find Gordo still staring at her in with a look of disbelief on his face. She saw anger flashing in his eyes; they no longer appeared warm, they were now cold and reserved.
"I'm so sorry Gordo, I'm sorry I never told you, I should have, I just… I don't know." Lizzie shook her head and took a deep breath. She wanted to explain, to make him understand why she had kept her secret, but in truth she didn't really know. Gordo had still not said a word; it was beginning to scare Lizzie. She wanted to tell him to say something, but she kept talking; if only to fill the overwhelming silence.
"Please don't hate me Gordo…or Emily, it's not her fault! It's my fault, I lied." Once again Lizzie could barely speak she was crying so hard, it was becoming hard to breathe. The night fog began to close in around her and a feeling of claustrophobia set in. What had seemed like a dream began to reveal itself for the nightmare that it was slowly becoming.
" I lied to you, and to my parents and to Matt and to most of my friends… I lied…I lied to Emily, my own daughter; I'm her mother, she should be able to trust me, but I LIED, I LIED!" Her mouth was becoming overwhelmingly dry despite the increasing moisture in the night air. "I'm sorry," she gasped, "I wish I could take it back Gordo, I'm sorry… I'm sorry… I'm sorry." Lizzie had to stop; she was almost choking on the sobs.
Gordo finally did something; he put his hand on her shoulder. His blue eyes were now just blue, but very distant. He looked ready to speak. Would he yell...scream? Lizzie braced herself for whatever would happen. The thunder became loud again; the storms were coming back. He opened his mouth.
"Mommy, mommy I'm scared!"
"What why…" Lizzie's mind began to race. "Gordo!?...."
"Mommy please wake up!"
Suddenly Lizzie shot straight up in bed and found herself staring into, not Gordo's blue eyes, but Emily's. She looked at the clock; it read 3:45am.
"What…" Lizzie gasped trying desperately to breathe and realizing that tears were streaming down her face. It was only a dream.
"Mommy the thunder scared me and you were crying … and you wouldn't wake up." Emily began to cry as well; it snapped Lizzie back to reality.
"Its okay baby, come here" Lizzie opened her arms and her little girl crawled into them. Lizzie may have been comforting Emily but in many ways Emily was comforting Lizzie just as much; soon both had stopped crying.
"Mommy, are you sad?" Emily whispered, "You were crying and saying 'I'm sorry'."
Lizzie cringed at the thought of the dream; it had seemed so real.
"It was just a bad dream, sweetheart, I'm fine."
"Were there witches and ghosts?" Emily looked up at her with big questioning blue eyes.
Lizzie shook her head. "Nope, just a silly dream, all better." That was a lie but Lizzie had scared her daughter enough for one night. Emily nodded and laid her head against her mothers' chest. Lizzie rocked her gently for a few moments, humming softly and before long the little girl had fallen back to sleep.
Sleep didn't come again to Lizzie that night; the dream haunted her. She had spent so many years being angry with Gordo, and convincing herself that she had done the right thing, that she had never stopped to really think about what she had done. She had lied, and she knew that she was going to have to suffer the consequences. She was also faced with her resurfacing feelings for Gordo; as angry with him as she had been these last few years, deep in her heart she knew she still loved him. She knew that she wanted him to love her back. What if her lie had completely messed that up?
A/N: Please don't hate me for this chapter; I was trying to show the beginnings of internal conflict, and Lizzie realizing the full impact of what she had done. It will come out to Gordo soon, not next chapter, probably the next.