Kohana: I'd like to dedicate this chapter to my hermit crab Herman. (sniff)
He died a few months ago. (sniff) It was sooooooooo sad! I had that thing
for two years and it had to die! (cries) So please in your reviews pay your
respects for Herman my hermit crab. Thank you.
Disclaimer: I don't own RK.
Kenshin's Dead, For Real This Time!
Announcer Person Dude: One day Kenshin was sitting happily doing his
newfound profession, voodoo, when suddenly Yahiko burst in.
Kenshin: (just finished making a voodoo doll of Kaoru.) Let her try
hitting me with her bokken now...
Yahiko: (bursts in) KENSHIN! I HAVE A QUESTION!
Kenshin: And if I get it right will I get 1 million dollars?
Yahiko: No...but you'll get an elephant!
Kenshin: Okay! (takes a bottle of whiteout, drinks it, then listens.)
Yahiko: How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
Kenshin: Sprint.
Yahiko: What!? 0.o
Kenshin: The answer is sprint. It takes sprint cups of sugar to get to the
moon.
Kaoru: (bursts in just as Kenshin says the word moon.) DDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAA
MOOOOOOOOOOOON!? YOU MEAN DAT BIG SHINY BALL IN DA SKY!?
Sanosuke: (jumps through the hole Kaoru just made.) WE MUST GO TO THIS
SHINEY BALL THAT YOU SPEAK OF!
Misao: (running after Sanosuke.) AND CONQUER IT!
Hiko: (walks in calmly) Ah, the ball of cheese. Might go well with my sake.
Kenshin: (talking in weird accent) But rocket ship we don't got!
Misao: I've got that part covered. (winks.) BRING IT IN BOYS!
Rocket Ship: (smashes through the wall.) (door opens slowly and reveals
Aoshi and Saitou standing there.)
Aoshi: I SEND YOU GREETING FROM MARS!
Saitou: (stands there, lights another cigarette, and smirks.)
Kaoru: (twitches.) Where did you get the nice *shiny* rocket ship?
Saitou: (smirks.) We stole it.
Aoshi: We didn't actually *steal* it. We're just borrowing it for awhile.
Kaoru: Oh, okay!
(silence.)
Everybody: (suddenly starts doing a tribal dance around the rocket ship.)
WE GOT A ROCKET SHIP AND WE'RE GONNA PAINT IT WITH SAITOU'S SHOES!
Yahiko: (stops dancing) Wait! We can't do that!
Everybody Else: WHY!
Yahiko: Saitou's shoes are black!
Everybody: (gasps.)
Sanosuke: We have to spray them with pesticide! It's the only way we can
save the nation!
Kenshin: (shudders.) But what if Dracula and the flying pigs come?
Sanosuke: That is a chance we'll just have to take!
Everybody: (sprays Saitou's shoes with pesticide and starts painting the
ship. It's a messy job but they get it done.) (stares at their work for
awhile then hops inside the ship like frogs and bunnies.)
Kenshin: (produces cups of sugar out of thin air.) Well, here it goes.
(sets down the first cup of sugar.) One, two, three, four...
*~One Million Years Later~*
Kenshin: ....1,239,823,287! It takes 1,239,823,287 cups of sugar to get to
the moon!
Everybody: (awake from their slumber, throw off their fake beards, and do a
merry dance around the room while impersonating Bugs Bunny.)
Yahiko: (rummages through his pocket for something.) Here's your elephant
Kenshin! (hands elephant to Kenshin.)
Kenshin: Thanks Yahiko! (takes elephant and stuffs it in his pocket.)
(weird noises are heard coming from the kitchen.
Sanosuke: The noises..are sucking me in! (takes Saitou's sword and eats
it.) Much better.
Saitou: (punches Sano out then lights another cigarette.)
Sanosuke: @_@
Everybody except the limp body of Sanosuke: (slowly walk to the kitchen. On
the floor are smashed remains of a cookie jar.)
Misao: (starts clapping her hands to the beat of the chant.) Who stole the
cookies from the cookie jar!
Everybody: (also clapping their hands.) Hiko stole the cookies from the
cookie jar!
Hiko: (cookie crumbs are all over his face.) HOW DO YOU KNOW! I mean....no.
Misao: Then who did...?
(twilight zone music plays.)
Kenshin: I am your father.
Everybody: 0.0
Kenshin: Sorry....
Saitou: Butterflies are pretty.
Everybody: 0.o
Saitou: What? Can't I ever say how really feel!? (cries.) Nobody likes me!
(runs away and goes to live with the mer-people.)
Yahiko: (sniff.) He was such a good dog.
Kaoru: Yup. (sniff.) He always did what he was told. Even if he didn't want
to eat sun tan lotion. (sniff.)
Everybody: (cries.)
Misao: (stops crying.) HOLY COW! AOSHI, YOUR TRENCH COAT IS GONE!
Aoshi: (looks around frantically.) Coaty-sama? Where are you?!
Hiko: (has Aoshi's trench coat stuffed up his shirt.) I didn't take it. Nu
uh. Wasn't me. Even if I did steal it when you were crying about Saitous
loss you would notice it stuffed up my shirt.
Misao: (starts clapping hand.) Who stole Aoshi's-
Kenshin: WHOULD YOU QUIT IT!
Misao: HOW *DARE* YOU SAY THAT TO ME! (bashes Kenshin on the head with a
pogo-stick.)
Kenshin: (is dead.)
Kaoru: OH MY GOD! KENSHIN'S DEAD!
Hiko: (nudges Kenshin with his foot.) 'Bought time my stupid apprentice
died.
Sano: (conscious again.) Kenshin's dead! Oh woe is the rabbit that lived in
Kenshin's soul. It is now torn into tiny bite-sized pieces and it lives no
more. (cries.)
Yahiko: (pats Sano reassuringly on the back.) It's okay Sano. The bunny
lived a long life.
Sano: The germs...are sucking me in! (falls over unconscious.)
Yahiko: 0.0
Aoshi: So the Battousai is finally dead. YIPPEE! (river dances around the
room.) COME DANCE WITH ME MISAO!
Misao: (shrugs.) Okay! (river dances with Aoshi.)
Shishio: (tiptoes in wearing a T-shirt that says: I am the #1 stalker of
Rurouni Kenshin, steals Kenshin's sword, giggles to himself, and leaves.)
Hiko: (singing in and off key voice.) LEAVES, LEAVES IT'S THE MAGICAL FRUIT
OF THE CENTURY!
Kenshin: Yes. Yes it is.
Hiko: Y-your alive! 0.0
Kaoru: KENSHIN! YOUR ALIVE! (hugs Kenshin really tightly.)
Kenshin: 0.0' That's just a little to tight Miss Kaoru. (blows up.)
Misao: Kenshin's dead!
Yahiko: For real this time!
Aoshi: YIPPEE! Again!
Hiko: .....stupid apprentice.....
Kenshin: IIIIIIIIIIII'MMMMMMMM BBBBBAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!
Yahiko: For real this time!
Aoshi: I've had enough of this! (kills Kenshin. Kenshin comes back to life
again. Kills Kenshin. Kenshin comes back to life again. Kills Kenshin.
Kenshin comes back to life again. Etc.
Kenshin: (dies for the 1,264,387,938th time.)
Misao: Kenshin's dead!
Yahiko: For real this time!
Kenshin: (comes back to life.)
Aoshi: (panting.) I give up Battousai. You win.
Everybody: YIPPEE!
Enishi: (appears.) I WILL NOW EAT YOU BATTOUSAI!
Kenshin: (smiles.) Okay. There's plenty to go around.
Everybody: YAY! A FREE RUROUNI KENSHIN DISH! (all eat Kenshin.)
Kaoru: OH NO! KENSHIN'S DE-Oh forget it. (stuffs socks in her mouth and
does the limbo.)
Aoshi: Finally I can go do my lifelong dream of being a fairy and give all
the children happiness and joy because I can. (runs off to fulfill his
lifelong dream.)
Misao: AOSHI-SAMA! WAIT FOR
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE(dies from the lack
of air.)
Hiko: o.o (face stays like that the whole day.)
Yahiko: If up is down then what's back and forth? Then what's left and
right? Is it angle? 90%? 0.o
Sano: (is conscious again.) You people don't know how to defend the nation.
(falls over.)
The End
Kohana: I hope you people liked it and sorry I was so pathetic up there. I
really loved that hermit crab. (sniff) This is only a one-shot so don't
expect more chapters.
R&R!
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V ^_^ Do it for the happy smiley face!
He died a few months ago. (sniff) It was sooooooooo sad! I had that thing
for two years and it had to die! (cries) So please in your reviews pay your
respects for Herman my hermit crab. Thank you.
Disclaimer: I don't own RK.
Kenshin's Dead, For Real This Time!
Announcer Person Dude: One day Kenshin was sitting happily doing his
newfound profession, voodoo, when suddenly Yahiko burst in.
Kenshin: (just finished making a voodoo doll of Kaoru.) Let her try
hitting me with her bokken now...
Yahiko: (bursts in) KENSHIN! I HAVE A QUESTION!
Kenshin: And if I get it right will I get 1 million dollars?
Yahiko: No...but you'll get an elephant!
Kenshin: Okay! (takes a bottle of whiteout, drinks it, then listens.)
Yahiko: How many cups of sugar does it take to get to the moon?
Kenshin: Sprint.
Yahiko: What!? 0.o
Kenshin: The answer is sprint. It takes sprint cups of sugar to get to the
moon.
Kaoru: (bursts in just as Kenshin says the word moon.) DDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAA
MOOOOOOOOOOOON!? YOU MEAN DAT BIG SHINY BALL IN DA SKY!?
Sanosuke: (jumps through the hole Kaoru just made.) WE MUST GO TO THIS
SHINEY BALL THAT YOU SPEAK OF!
Misao: (running after Sanosuke.) AND CONQUER IT!
Hiko: (walks in calmly) Ah, the ball of cheese. Might go well with my sake.
Kenshin: (talking in weird accent) But rocket ship we don't got!
Misao: I've got that part covered. (winks.) BRING IT IN BOYS!
Rocket Ship: (smashes through the wall.) (door opens slowly and reveals
Aoshi and Saitou standing there.)
Aoshi: I SEND YOU GREETING FROM MARS!
Saitou: (stands there, lights another cigarette, and smirks.)
Kaoru: (twitches.) Where did you get the nice *shiny* rocket ship?
Saitou: (smirks.) We stole it.
Aoshi: We didn't actually *steal* it. We're just borrowing it for awhile.
Kaoru: Oh, okay!
(silence.)
Everybody: (suddenly starts doing a tribal dance around the rocket ship.)
WE GOT A ROCKET SHIP AND WE'RE GONNA PAINT IT WITH SAITOU'S SHOES!
Yahiko: (stops dancing) Wait! We can't do that!
Everybody Else: WHY!
Yahiko: Saitou's shoes are black!
Everybody: (gasps.)
Sanosuke: We have to spray them with pesticide! It's the only way we can
save the nation!
Kenshin: (shudders.) But what if Dracula and the flying pigs come?
Sanosuke: That is a chance we'll just have to take!
Everybody: (sprays Saitou's shoes with pesticide and starts painting the
ship. It's a messy job but they get it done.) (stares at their work for
awhile then hops inside the ship like frogs and bunnies.)
Kenshin: (produces cups of sugar out of thin air.) Well, here it goes.
(sets down the first cup of sugar.) One, two, three, four...
*~One Million Years Later~*
Kenshin: ....1,239,823,287! It takes 1,239,823,287 cups of sugar to get to
the moon!
Everybody: (awake from their slumber, throw off their fake beards, and do a
merry dance around the room while impersonating Bugs Bunny.)
Yahiko: (rummages through his pocket for something.) Here's your elephant
Kenshin! (hands elephant to Kenshin.)
Kenshin: Thanks Yahiko! (takes elephant and stuffs it in his pocket.)
(weird noises are heard coming from the kitchen.
Sanosuke: The noises..are sucking me in! (takes Saitou's sword and eats
it.) Much better.
Saitou: (punches Sano out then lights another cigarette.)
Sanosuke: @_@
Everybody except the limp body of Sanosuke: (slowly walk to the kitchen. On
the floor are smashed remains of a cookie jar.)
Misao: (starts clapping her hands to the beat of the chant.) Who stole the
cookies from the cookie jar!
Everybody: (also clapping their hands.) Hiko stole the cookies from the
cookie jar!
Hiko: (cookie crumbs are all over his face.) HOW DO YOU KNOW! I mean....no.
Misao: Then who did...?
(twilight zone music plays.)
Kenshin: I am your father.
Everybody: 0.0
Kenshin: Sorry....
Saitou: Butterflies are pretty.
Everybody: 0.o
Saitou: What? Can't I ever say how really feel!? (cries.) Nobody likes me!
(runs away and goes to live with the mer-people.)
Yahiko: (sniff.) He was such a good dog.
Kaoru: Yup. (sniff.) He always did what he was told. Even if he didn't want
to eat sun tan lotion. (sniff.)
Everybody: (cries.)
Misao: (stops crying.) HOLY COW! AOSHI, YOUR TRENCH COAT IS GONE!
Aoshi: (looks around frantically.) Coaty-sama? Where are you?!
Hiko: (has Aoshi's trench coat stuffed up his shirt.) I didn't take it. Nu
uh. Wasn't me. Even if I did steal it when you were crying about Saitous
loss you would notice it stuffed up my shirt.
Misao: (starts clapping hand.) Who stole Aoshi's-
Kenshin: WHOULD YOU QUIT IT!
Misao: HOW *DARE* YOU SAY THAT TO ME! (bashes Kenshin on the head with a
pogo-stick.)
Kenshin: (is dead.)
Kaoru: OH MY GOD! KENSHIN'S DEAD!
Hiko: (nudges Kenshin with his foot.) 'Bought time my stupid apprentice
died.
Sano: (conscious again.) Kenshin's dead! Oh woe is the rabbit that lived in
Kenshin's soul. It is now torn into tiny bite-sized pieces and it lives no
more. (cries.)
Yahiko: (pats Sano reassuringly on the back.) It's okay Sano. The bunny
lived a long life.
Sano: The germs...are sucking me in! (falls over unconscious.)
Yahiko: 0.0
Aoshi: So the Battousai is finally dead. YIPPEE! (river dances around the
room.) COME DANCE WITH ME MISAO!
Misao: (shrugs.) Okay! (river dances with Aoshi.)
Shishio: (tiptoes in wearing a T-shirt that says: I am the #1 stalker of
Rurouni Kenshin, steals Kenshin's sword, giggles to himself, and leaves.)
Hiko: (singing in and off key voice.) LEAVES, LEAVES IT'S THE MAGICAL FRUIT
OF THE CENTURY!
Kenshin: Yes. Yes it is.
Hiko: Y-your alive! 0.0
Kaoru: KENSHIN! YOUR ALIVE! (hugs Kenshin really tightly.)
Kenshin: 0.0' That's just a little to tight Miss Kaoru. (blows up.)
Misao: Kenshin's dead!
Yahiko: For real this time!
Aoshi: YIPPEE! Again!
Hiko: .....stupid apprentice.....
Kenshin: IIIIIIIIIIII'MMMMMMMM BBBBBAAAAAAACCCCCCCKKKKKKKK!
Yahiko: For real this time!
Aoshi: I've had enough of this! (kills Kenshin. Kenshin comes back to life
again. Kills Kenshin. Kenshin comes back to life again. Kills Kenshin.
Kenshin comes back to life again. Etc.
Kenshin: (dies for the 1,264,387,938th time.)
Misao: Kenshin's dead!
Yahiko: For real this time!
Kenshin: (comes back to life.)
Aoshi: (panting.) I give up Battousai. You win.
Everybody: YIPPEE!
Enishi: (appears.) I WILL NOW EAT YOU BATTOUSAI!
Kenshin: (smiles.) Okay. There's plenty to go around.
Everybody: YAY! A FREE RUROUNI KENSHIN DISH! (all eat Kenshin.)
Kaoru: OH NO! KENSHIN'S DE-Oh forget it. (stuffs socks in her mouth and
does the limbo.)
Aoshi: Finally I can go do my lifelong dream of being a fairy and give all
the children happiness and joy because I can. (runs off to fulfill his
lifelong dream.)
Misao: AOSHI-SAMA! WAIT FOR
MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE(dies from the lack
of air.)
Hiko: o.o (face stays like that the whole day.)
Yahiko: If up is down then what's back and forth? Then what's left and
right? Is it angle? 90%? 0.o
Sano: (is conscious again.) You people don't know how to defend the nation.
(falls over.)
The End
Kohana: I hope you people liked it and sorry I was so pathetic up there. I
really loved that hermit crab. (sniff) This is only a one-shot so don't
expect more chapters.
R&R!
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V ^_^ Do it for the happy smiley face!