I don't drive for too long, I've not really driven this way before and I
don't want to get caught by the rising sun. I stop at a motel about three
hours before dawn; I could probably go further but choose not to. As I'm
paying the clerk I try to place what I find so off about him, he's not been
especially rude, there's nothing physically strange about him, in fact
that's it, he shouldn't look so human, he doesn't smell like one. It's good
in a way, my need for blood is getting to me and I'm not going to be able
to get to a butchers anytime soon, I place some more cash on the counter
and ask if he could get me some 'liquid refreshment'. He looks doubtfully
at the cash, I know it's not enough to get human, I'm hoping I'll just
appear cheap.
"You'll only get pig's for that" he spit's out contemptuously. "It'll have to do" I reply as non-committal as I can manage. He disappears into a back room and returns with my key and a brown paper bag, I take both and head out to my room, as I go I wonder how just how many motels are demon run. I want to be disgusted by what's in the bag but the smell wafting out is just making my stomach rumble again. I get to my room and turn the TV on, there's no microwave or stove so I drink my 'dinner' cold, it's pretty gross but I think that's just because it's not been heated, much as I would like to think otherwise. Afterwards I lie on the bed and plan for tomorrow; I start to drift off just as I feel the sun coming up.
I wake up a few hours before sunset, my first thoughts are of Buffy and Willow. I wonder how they're coping, by now they know that I'm a vampire. I wish I knew what was happening, what they're thinking. I roll over and stare at the phone, in some ways it would be so easy to call them. But to call them is to admit I still have a life with them, and I'm not sure I could cope to find out that it's not true.
Things have been too easy so far. I wake up a vampire, only my demon seems to be missing. I've had no urges to kill and slaughter, even when my hunger seemed to be consuming me the idea of feeding from a human was repulsive. I'm terrified that if I go to my friends my hellmouth luck will return and I'll wake up to find that I've drained them. I've nearly destroyed my friendships so many times over the years that I didn't trust myself before the change, but now, I just don't know whether I could risk it. I stare at the phone for what must be over an hour, its dusk by the time I make my decision. I think I knew my decision from the start, but I always was slow. No matter what I do, how could I leave them not knowing what's going on?
I lean over slowly, taking the handset and dialling the familiar number. I wait for what seems an age before someone finally answers, I can tell from her voice she's been crying. "Willow?" I hold my breath, despite not needing it, waiting for an answer. "Willow?" I try again. "X-xander?" She's in tears and it's my fault. "It's me." "How, how do I know it's really you?" Her voice is squeaking, I wish I could take her pain away, I hate it that I seem to cause her so much sorrow. "Hey, it'd take more than a pesky vampire to take me away from you, you know that" "But it did, your not here, where are you" "I just need to make sure I won't hurt you, I'm going to see some people, I'll be going to LA in a few days, if Angel doesn't stake me I promise I'll see you soon." "You could never hurt me" She's crying again and it feels like someone is squeezing my heart. I tell her that I have to go, with some persuasion she let's me off the phone. I promise to call her again from LA and then she's gone. I lie on my back for a few moments before preparing to leave, I have someone I need to see, and if I leave now I can get there before dawn.
"You'll only get pig's for that" he spit's out contemptuously. "It'll have to do" I reply as non-committal as I can manage. He disappears into a back room and returns with my key and a brown paper bag, I take both and head out to my room, as I go I wonder how just how many motels are demon run. I want to be disgusted by what's in the bag but the smell wafting out is just making my stomach rumble again. I get to my room and turn the TV on, there's no microwave or stove so I drink my 'dinner' cold, it's pretty gross but I think that's just because it's not been heated, much as I would like to think otherwise. Afterwards I lie on the bed and plan for tomorrow; I start to drift off just as I feel the sun coming up.
I wake up a few hours before sunset, my first thoughts are of Buffy and Willow. I wonder how they're coping, by now they know that I'm a vampire. I wish I knew what was happening, what they're thinking. I roll over and stare at the phone, in some ways it would be so easy to call them. But to call them is to admit I still have a life with them, and I'm not sure I could cope to find out that it's not true.
Things have been too easy so far. I wake up a vampire, only my demon seems to be missing. I've had no urges to kill and slaughter, even when my hunger seemed to be consuming me the idea of feeding from a human was repulsive. I'm terrified that if I go to my friends my hellmouth luck will return and I'll wake up to find that I've drained them. I've nearly destroyed my friendships so many times over the years that I didn't trust myself before the change, but now, I just don't know whether I could risk it. I stare at the phone for what must be over an hour, its dusk by the time I make my decision. I think I knew my decision from the start, but I always was slow. No matter what I do, how could I leave them not knowing what's going on?
I lean over slowly, taking the handset and dialling the familiar number. I wait for what seems an age before someone finally answers, I can tell from her voice she's been crying. "Willow?" I hold my breath, despite not needing it, waiting for an answer. "Willow?" I try again. "X-xander?" She's in tears and it's my fault. "It's me." "How, how do I know it's really you?" Her voice is squeaking, I wish I could take her pain away, I hate it that I seem to cause her so much sorrow. "Hey, it'd take more than a pesky vampire to take me away from you, you know that" "But it did, your not here, where are you" "I just need to make sure I won't hurt you, I'm going to see some people, I'll be going to LA in a few days, if Angel doesn't stake me I promise I'll see you soon." "You could never hurt me" She's crying again and it feels like someone is squeezing my heart. I tell her that I have to go, with some persuasion she let's me off the phone. I promise to call her again from LA and then she's gone. I lie on my back for a few moments before preparing to leave, I have someone I need to see, and if I leave now I can get there before dawn.