Wahoo it's the second chapter, finished way early. Keep reviewing please.
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Omi woke up with a gun pointed at his naughty bits.
In his hazy sleep induced stupor it took him several seconds to process this information. When it finally occurred to him to be worried his eyes followed the line of the gun up past a well toned arm to Yoji's grinning face. He suddenly had a very bad feeling.
"Up and at 'em, you two have a big day today." Yoji was standing next to the bed holding an actual shotgun that Omi vaguely remembered as belonging to Momoe-san. Aya was standing a little bit behind him, smirking.
Before Omi had a chance to make any other observations, he was being pushed out the door with a handful of clothing that had been thrust upon him. He dressed, still being ushered down the stairs and into Aya's waiting car, the only explanation Yoji offered was "We still have some things to get ready, so you can indulge in some of the traditions. Aya don't let him out of your sight." Aya gave a very sarcastic salute and started driving off, Omi in the passenger side still fiddling with his socks.
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Ken had just rolled over and gone back to sleep after his boyfriend was abducted, so Yoji had to wake him up again. He handed Ken a white t-shirt that had some writing on it in English that Ken couldn't quite make out but made him suspicious none the less.
After dressing Ken was dragged out of his room and down the stairs to the big communal rec room, formerly mission room. There were white and pink streamers everywhere and a table was set up with a fancy brunch and a seemingly out of place cake shaped like a penis. But what caught his attention first was the room's occupants.
Scattered around on the various mismatched couches and bean bag chairs were Aya-chan, Momoe, Sakura, and about fifteen of the 'first generation flower shop girls' as Yoji liked to call them. They were the girls who had originally started coming to the shop after school five years ago. Time had wizened them and they had eventually realized that the objects of their desires were all flaming homos, but every girl is a yaoi fangirl at heart so most of them would stop by from time to time to chat, buy flowers, and watch the new generation of naïve little girls and reminisce.
When they noticed Ken, the room let out a collective squeal as eighteen women raced over to hug and congratulate him. Ahh, so this was for the baby. That didn't quite explain the penis cake, but then Yoji had a sick sense of humor.
Yoji left almost immediately, saying he still had a lot to do. Figuring he might as well make the most of it, Ken went to get some food. It was a pretty good spread, although obviously thrown together last minute. There was pizza with anchovies on the side (not everyone likes anchovies), a tray of sushi, a couple of racks of ribs, a platter of little mini quiche, and a huge plate of pink frosted donuts. Ken filled a plate and went to sit on the sofa with Sakura and a girl named Leiko.
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The cake was mocha chocolate with coffee flavored icing. It looked like it had originally been a submarine, but with a little creative frosting and two strategically placed cupcakes it had lost its former innocence.
Ken served the cake and then they all sat around on the floor to open gifts.
The first one was from Sakura, theater tickets. Ken didn't know what that had to do with the baby exactly, but he decided it was the thought that counted. The next few presents were similar, book on relationships, a gift certificate for dinner for two at a restaurant down town, that sort of thing. It was the rest of the gifts that worried him.
Aya-chan gave him a pair of shiny black thong underwear that were way to small for him to even consider wearing comfortably and way to big (not to mention slutty) to be for the baby. He also got flavored lube, a pink vibrator, six more pairs of skanky underwear, a book on the Kama Sutra, and most disturbingly, handcuffs, a ball gag, and a cock ring from Momoe-san.
Ken look at his growing pile of sex toys and just had to ask.
"What does any of this have to do with the baby?"
Silence for a second, and then murmers from all the girls asking "what baby?" Aya-chan smiled smugly at being the only one besides Momoe who was in the know and then said loudly "The baby Ken is going to have."
As one all the girls turned toward Ken and squealed, all scrambling to touch his still washboard hard abs and coo at his midsection.
Ken was a bit shocked. If it wasn't about the baby, then what...
Ken's thoughts were interrupted by insistent banging at the door. One of the girls answered and was nearly pushed over by a very pissed looking cop.
"Which one of you is Ken Hidaka?" The cop's eyes traveled around the room and stopped on Ken, or more specifically, Ken's shirt. "Bride huh?"
Ken turned crimson and sank down into the sofa, having finally realized what his shirt said. So that was what this was all about. First chance he got he was going to kill Yoji. Slowly.
But right now he had bigger problems. Like the cop that was intimidating the girls. The cop that had just turned on some loud music. The cop that now seemed to be dancing provocatively in front of Ken as he removed his own clothing in a practiced manner to the delighted giggles and squeals of the girls.
Oh...shit.
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Omi was fairing a bit better, having managed to shake his captor. When he realized Aya was driving him towards The Rail, a twenty-four hour gentleman's club (as Yoji liked to call skin bars), and jumped out of the car just as it started to move after a red light turned.
He ran about three blocks, weaving his way through people and into and out of several stores, before he stopped at the arcade and reasoned that it was a good place to hide since Aya would find him if he went home.
Having missed breakfast, he went up to the counter and ordered a cheeseburger with curly fires and a malted. As he ate he examined the room trying to decide what he wanted to play first when who should plop down next to him and order a strawberry ice cream sundae with pineapple and nuts but Nagi Naoe.
After Essette was taken care of, Omi, or more accurately Takatori Mamoru, had invited Swartz to join Kritiker as a field team. They had quickly filled the shoes of the old assassins, making Swartz the new Weiss, though they weren't nearly as friendly.
As a matter of fact, Nagi was the only one Omi could stand. Brad treated him with cold respect but snubbed his former teammates and Farfarello was just a crazy bastard. Omi tolerated Schuldig when he saw him, but only because he was such good friends with Nagi and Schuldig, being Nagi's lover and a clingy lovesick puppy most of the time, followed them around whenever they were together. He was there now, leaning against the counter with his root beer float and alternately throwing Omi mean looks and gazing lovingly at the back of Nagi's head.
Omi just smiled at him and started trying to tie a cherry stem with his tongue.
"What's up Omi?" Nagi took his own cherry stem and tied it in point two seconds. He was obviously cheating with his powers.
Omi gave up when his stem broke in half and smiled at his friend. "I'm hiding from Aya-kun, I think he tried to take me to a strip club."
"Well of course, it's a tradition."
"Huh?"
"You know, a bachelor party, but since the wedding is tonight he had to do it a little earlier in the day then usual."
"Aya-kun's getting married?" Nagi looked him with obvious shock.
"No...you are. Yoji called us last night to invite us. Asked if we knew where he could get a couple of cakes made quick too. Is it true that Ken's up the duff?"
Omi forgot to be shocked and angry and smiled proudly. "Yup"
The two talked for a while as Schu asked for extra cherry stems so he could practice and impress Nagi.
It took about two hours for Aya to find them. He spotted Omi across the crowded arcade and started making his way over, an annoyed look on his face. Omi quickly looked around and decided that his chances of escape were slim. Plan B. He looked down at his clothing and decided it just might work.
When Aya reached his side and grabbed his arm and started to drag him across the room, Omi started screaming bloody murder and shouting help. All of the people in the arcade turned to see the red head dragging him away. Fortunately when Yoji picked out his clothes this morning he decided to be funny and make it so Omi had a hard time getting into the strip club, so he was wearing an oversized t-shirt and cargo shorts with his hi-tops and a backwards baseball cap, making him look fourteen at most. Soon Aya was being pelted with purses from angry mothers and screams of 'pedophile' and 'kidnapper.'
As the soda jerk called the cops Aya managed to get out of there and take off down the street, leaving Omi with a couple of laughing Swartz boys, several women asking if he was alright and telling him how brave he was, and a manager who offered him all the free milkshakes and gaming tokens he wanted.
The three of them stayed there chatting until it was time to head back for the wedding.
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The gyrating hips of the stripper were starting to make Ken dizzy. The girls had started to get rowdy and were taking turns sticking fives in his g-string as he danced around Ken and shook his booty.
He was down to his underwear and boots now, twirling a fake gun around on his finger as he swayed his hips and seductively brushed up against Ken. Ken sat rigid in his seat with his eyes sealed shut trying not to move. Death was too good for Yoji, Ken was going to slather bloody ground beef all over Yoji's body and throw him into a pit of wild dogs, and he would watch and enjoy the spectacle too.
Ken's eyes opened involuntarily when he heard an especially loud shriek, he immediately regretted it. The stripper, Officer Randy Loaded-Gun as he had introduced himself, was about a foot from Ken's face with one leg up on the seat of his chair, giving Ken a direct view of the rather skimpy cloth that covered his family jewels.
Ken let out a little yelp of surprise, but unfortunately Randy took that as encouragement, because he then sat on Ken's lap and started giving him an extremely raunchy lap dance. Ken wasted no time in dumping the stripper on the floor and running for cover. Randy stood up, brushed himself off, and turned his attention to the girls.
As the girls were all taking body shots off the stripper, Momoe went over to Ken to have a little heart to heart.
"It's all right to be a little scared Ken, I remember throwing up before I went to bed with my husband for the first time. It'll hurt, I find it helps if you drink something strong beforehand and try to think of something more pleasant while he's doing his business, and if you're lucky he won't ask too often."
Ken stared at her shocked, half wondering if she was serious. She knew he was pregnant, surely she knew that meant he was, well, less then virginal.
She started going off about the bees pollinating...well, other bees, and the beauty of married life. It was like talking to his grandmother, and his grandmother was just not the kind of person with whom you discussed sex. No one's grandmother was.
Momoe was just telling Ken how he could best help Omi unwind after a hard days work with certain sex techniques (which soon solved the mystery of the S&M toys) when they heard the door upstairs slam and Omi's blessed voice call out "I'm home." Ken jumped up immediately, forgetting that he was being rude, and made a beeline for the door, he and Omi needed to talk now.