Kagome bit her lip as her eyes automatically gazed upon the motionless figure on her bed. The untamed hanyou laid, unmoving, his haori teared and bloodied, sticking to his sweaty body. Kagome turned away, trying to ignore the hanyou's defined chest and modest abs showing evidently through his kimono. Kagome flinched as Inuyasha's brows furrowed and his face contorted with pain. But Kagome dared not to move. On the other side of the bed, sat a Hanoushi. The supposed reincarnation of Inuyasha. But how can this be ?
Kagome turned to Inuyasha's restless body and laid her hand over his sweaty forehead, his bangs embedded with beads of blood. Kagome's eyes watered as she felt her lips quivered. Why Inuyasha ? Why have you come back ? Why bring all our memories together ? Kagome's eyes fell dramatically as her eyes shifted to the boy sitting next to her bed. The boy she was about to fall in love with. Not entirely love, but it was a start. Now everything was confusing and back to square one.
Inuyasha groaned and Kagome's eyes widened. Quickly she picked up the wet cloth on her drawer and dabbed it on his forehead. Kagome bit her lip as she watched Inuyasha's face scrunch up with pain. But she did not stop. Slowly and gently, Kagome kept on wiping away the blood smeared on the hanyou's face, everything else the world disappearing behind her.
Hanoushi watched sadly as he watched Kagome pay such attention to this Inuyasha. Jealousy and hate poured into the pit of stomach for the hanyou, taking away all of his Kagome's precious time. Hanoushi froze. D-did I just say .. my Kagome ?
Kagome stood up and squeezed the cloth into a bowl of blood water. Hanoushi watched as Kagome's eyes watered, his face confused and in pain. The poor girl. It's like I can feel her pain. It's like .. I know how much pain she was in with this guy. With this Inuyasha. Am I supposedly related to him ?
Questions whirled around Hanoushi, as the awkward silenced dragged itself on. Kagome sat back down, her eyes dull and emotionless. Automatically, her eyes softened as she laid it on the hanyou's pained expression. Absentmindly, Kagome reached to his head and stroked his long, messy silver hair. Instantly, tears rolled down her cheek, as Kagome's lips escaped a sob.
Hanoushi quickly looked up from his lap onto the girl that he cared deeply for. Kagome held her hand over her mouth, and her eyes crinkled with sadness. Tears dribbled down her flushed cheeks, as Hanoushi watched her shoulders tremble with grief.
Kagome really cares for this Inuyasha. There's full love in her eyes .. that I wish was on me instead .. Hanoushi's eyes narrowed at the boy on the bed, the envy and hate rolling up into his eyes. He has taken away the girl's heart away from me and has brought all this pain to her. He doesn't deserve such beauty and happiness.
Hate began to take over the jealousy as Hanoushi rolled his hands into a fist. His expression darkening each time Kagome's fell.
" Kagome, " Hanoushi finally spoke, his teeth clenched evidently.
Kagome snapped her head up, as if surprised he was still here. Since it has been four hours. " Y-yes, Inuy .. " Kagome let her mouth slip into a ' O ' then stammer the rest of her sentence, " .. H-Hanoushi ? What is it ? "
Hanoushi's eyes widened with pain and sadness. So this is all I am to her. A copy of the boy on this bed. Is it possible that Kagome loves him ? Hanoushi's jaw dropped slightly as determination struck his handsome face. Hell no. I won't let it happen.
" Kagome, why is it that you care so much for this .. " Hanoushi crinkled up his nose. " For this .. Inuyasha ? He looks like a beast. Nothing compared to your radiance and .. "
" Beast ? " Kagome demanded, her teeth seething with sudden anger. Hanoushi's eyes widened as he watched Kagome, for the first time, lose herself.
Kagome threw the cloth down to the floor, her eyes narrowing with anger. " Beast, did you say Hanoushi ? A beast that has protected me in every way possible, even risking his own life ! A beast that has been an inspiration in my life, that nobody can change. A ' beast ' whom I care for and lo .. " Kagome cut off, gasping.
Hanoushi's eyes widened, as his lips drew a thin line. " What did you say ? "
Kagome gave him a cold stare, as she quickly returned to the minding of Inuyasha. " Nothing. " she mumbled, her eyes filled with obvious guilt.
" Kagome ! " Hanoushi shot up and reached over her. " You don't deserve this man ! He has done nothing but give you pain that you, Kagome, do not deserve ! Damn you that you could even think of comparing yourself to him ! You're beautiful and wonderful in so many ways ! Can't you see that you're just wasting you life with somebody who .. who .. whose not even human ? " Hanoushi's voice was rough but there was a slight quiver in it that Kagome did not dare to miss.
Kagome then shot up after him, her eyes burning with fiery. " How dare you say all this trash ? Inuyasha deserves me more than anybody can ! I am the fool who does not deserve him ! He is great beyond anybody, somebody that cannot just replace by mere words about our past ! Yes, we've faced many pain, insults and heartbreaks, " Kagome grabbed Hanoushi's shoulders, shaking them slightly. " But that doesn't matter, Hanoushi ! This is now, and we can overcome those things ! Can't you see that, Hanoushi ? " Kagome cried, tears running down her face.
Hanoushi stiffened at Kagome's touch, even though it was not the way he wanted it to be. He took a deep breath, his voice shaking like mad, " So you do not love me ? "
Kagome jumped back, her eyes widening. Did Hanoushi think I loved him all this time ? I cannot love anybody besides Inuyasha. C-can't he see that ?
Kagome lowered her eyes, backing away from Hanoushi. " Hanoushi, you must've mistakened all this time .. " Kagome drew a breath, as tears continued to flow. More rapidly now, as Kagome took another deep breath. " I love him. " she whispered.
That was the last straw. Hanoushi ran. Ran away from everything. Ran away from the shame and reject towering over Kagome's dark room. Kagome's guilty dark room.
===
" K-Kagome ? " a hoarse, weak voice sounded next to Kagome's trembling body.
Reluctantly, Kagome turned away from the opened door and onto the cautious figure on her bed. Two set of fierce amber eyes stared back at her, his barely audible voice laced with concern and curiosity.
Kagome flew by Inuyasha's side, her hands grasping his. " Inuyasha ! You are alive .. " Tears rolled down Kagome, as her lips broke into a smile.
Inuyasha gazed at the girl beside him tenderly. Never had he felt so strong, even though every muscle in him screamed in pain. " No shit, wench. "
Forgetting all about her worries, Kagome's hands flew around Inuyasha's neck. " Oh Inuyasha ! I was so worried ! I thought you were .. " Kagome buried her face in his shoulder and sighed. " Dead. "
Inuyasha gave a surprised grunt as he tried to push himself up. " Dead ? Why the hell would I be dead ? " Inuyasha winced as he collapsed his body against Kagome's wall.
Kagome guiltily looked up, her face filled with confusion and regret. " I met .. your reincarnation, Inuyasha. "
Inuyasha's eyes widened, and for a second, all his pains were gone. " What ?! "
" I met your reincarnation, Inuyasha. I know it was not a vision, because I saw him in every way I saw you. Nobody could do that, not even .. Houjou. " Kagome smiled as Inuyasha's face twisted in disgust at the name of Hobo .. or something.
In a surprising gentle voice, Inuyasha spoke. " Kagome, what the hell are you talking about ? I was never dead. I was at Feudal Japan, finding every way I could to get back. " Okay, maybe not gentle.
" What do you mean ? What happened to the well, Inuyasha ? " Kagome asked, fear escaping from her voice.
Sheepishly, Inuyasha gazed at Kagome's worried face. " I accidentally sealed the well, Kagome. "
" B-but .. why ? " Kagome whispered, her voice barely heard. But Inuyasha heard.
" It was a mistake, Kagome ! " Inuyasha quickly cried, wincing at the pain that suddenly returned. " I was so pissed that you left, I thought .. I thought .. " Inuyasha's softened as he sighed, " I thought .. I'd never see you again. "
Kagome looked up at him, her face so beautiful and radiant, Inuyasha had to grin. " In my fury, I took it out on the .. um .. well. Which was smart of me, because it sealed. But .. I unsealed it. With a help from a friend. "
" Who, Inuyasha ? " Kagome asked, as her smile returned, her head falling onto the hanyou's chest.
Inuyasha's arms circled Kagome and pulled her into a warm embrace. As Kagome's question lingered in his mind, the hanyou's facial expression dropped dramatically. Kagome noticed and pulled her head up to his. " What's the matter Inuyasha ? "
" Kikyou, " Inuyasha mumbled, as he closed his eyes. But that didn't stop the feeling of Kagome instantly stiffen up. " Kikyou helped me get back to you. "
" W-what ? " Kagome demanded, as she suddenly pulled away from Inuyasha. " K-Kikyou helped you ? B-but .. why ?! "
Inuyasha looked at Kagome, his expression pained and reluctant. But Kagome needed to know. Pressing on, Kagome pushed Inuyasha to answer her. " Why Inuyasha ? Why ?! Tell me why ! " Kagome then squeezed Inuyasha, causing him to wince. " Did she do this to you ? Did she hurt you ? Tell me why Inuyasha ! "
" The only way to see you one last time was to give up my life, Kagome. " Inuyasha said softly, his voice filling with pain and sorrow. " And I took that deal. "
===
" What !? " Kagome spat, as she shakily rose to her feet. " What did you say ?! "
" Kagome, tonight .. will be last night I can see you .. ever again. The only person who can unseal the well was Kikyou. And after I see you .. I have to go back, Kagome. " Inuyasha's voice getting softer and softer, " I have to go to hell. "
" NO ! " Kagome gasped, as she stumbled backwards, tripping over her chair.
" Kagome ! " Inuyasha cried, as he winced at the pain in his abdomen. " Don't do this to me, Kagome ! "
" You can't die, Inuyasha ! I can't allow it ! " Kagome burst into furious tears as she rummaged through her drawer. Pulling out a bow and arrow, Kagome grasped them to her chest. " I'll kill Kikyou ! Then she cannot take you to .. "
" KILL KIKYOU ? " Inuyasha shrieked, causing Kagome to back away. " You can't kill Kikyou, Kagome ! "
" WHY NOT !? " Kagome demanded, her voice shaking with fear and anger.
" Because .. " Inuyasha stuttered, trying to find the right words. " She is the one I love ! "
Kagome froze. Her white knuckles, clenching around the bow and arrows released itself. Dropping the weapons, Kagome backed away, her eyes wide and pained. " W-what .. ? "
Inuyasha looked up at her, his face regretful and pained. " Y-you can't go against her Kagome. You'll .. die. And I can't let that happen. And .. I .. love .. Kikyou" Inuyasha closed his eyes, uncapable to see Kagome's hurt expression.
" No .. " Kagome whispered, as her knees gave way and she dropped to the ground helplessly.
Inuyasha watched painfully as he squeezed his eyes shut. I love you, Kagome. I know I wouldn't be able to live a life without you, so I knew I had to see you one last time. What's the point of living when you can't be with the one you love ? I'm sorry, Kagome. You can't go up against Kikyou, she's too powerful for you. Can't you see that ? Oh, you stubborn wench ..
" Then why did you .. come to see me ? " Kagome whispered, her voice cracking.
" Because .. " Inuyasha swallowed, as he leaned his head against her wall. " I made a promise to you that I'd protect you. And I had to see if I fulfilled that promise. And I did. " Inuyasha whispered, as he looked painfully at his lap.
" NO ! " Kagome cried. Shooting up from the ground, Kagome fled from her room.
" Kagome ! No ! " Inuyasha cried, as he desperately tried to get up. " Kagome, come back ! Come back ! "
Kagome burst through her house, tears blurring her vision. Oh Inuyasha ! How can I be so stupid and thought once that he'd ever love me ? If Kikyou is out there, she'll always be the one Inuyasha looks at. He'll never love me. Why must you come back, Inuyasha ? Why bring all the terrible memories that we shared, that make my heart yearn for yours ? Why did you have to lay the burden back on my shoulders, Inuyasha ?
" Ah ! " Kagome cried as her shoe made contact with a rock. Falling at full speed, Kagome plummeted to the cement ground.
Kagome grimaced, as she waited for the sensational burning to meet her when she hit. But it didn't.
A strong pair of arms lifted her up, just inches away from the cement. Kagome stumbled up, falling into the stranger's arms.
" Oh, I'm so sorry .. " Kagome began but was yanked into a tight embrace, muffling her words. " Excuse me .. "
" Kagome .. you don't need him. " a familiar husky voice rang into her ears. Pain and defeat showed obviously in his voice, and Kagome's eyes widened. " Hanoushi .. "
" Kagome, I know your heart belongs to someone else. And I know I would never meet up to that Inuyasha of yours. I know your love together is too great to compete .. "
" You are wrong, Hanoushi. " Kagome whimpered, as she buried her tear-stained face into his chest. " There was never .. never .. any love. I was a blind fool to see that his heart belonged to nobody but his real love. " Kagome let out a cry, as the reality hit her like a sledge hammer over her head.
Tightening his embrace, Hanoushi buried his face into Kagome's raven black hair. Her sweet tangy scent reached his nostrils and he inhaled deeply. Kagome let out a sob, as it reminded her so much of the one she loved. Not the man she was holding. But the one she would never hold again.
" It's okay, Kagome. I'm here .. " Hanoushi reassured softly, as he pulled Kagome closer to his body.
===
" Kagome .. " Inuyasha gritted his teeth as rolled painfully off the Kagome's bed.
Falling onto the floor, Inuyasha shut his eyes, trying to shut out the pain radiating in his body. Why did Kikyou have to beat me so hard. It wasn't my fault I turned into the youkai inside of me. I just .. wanted her to unseal the well. I didn't want to go to hell. The hell with hell, I have better things to do than waste my life staring at nothing but darkness. I could be .. with Kagome.
At the thought of her name, Inuyasha pulled himself up and limped downstairs. The pain was excruciating but he was a demon, and he wasn't going to give up just because of being a little sore.
As Inuyasha limped painfully outside, he pulled out his Tetsusaiga as a cane. As he dragged himself outside, he picked up Kagome's sweet scent. The scent he loved so much. The scent he would inhale anytime. The scent he missed.
Inuyasha got closer to closer to Kagome's scent, as guilt and anger at himself builded up in his body. It's all my fault she's hurting. I'm always the one making her cry. I'm always the one making her life so much harder. Suddenly, Inuyasha stopped walking. She doesn't deserve me. She can be so much better without me. Even with Houjou .. hey, I said his name right.
Suddenly, Inuyasha heard two voices appear from the direction of Kagome's scent. Quickly, Inuyasha flew behind a nearby tree, that towered over the Higurashi home. Inuyasha sucked in his breath, trying to control the cries of pain. Inuyasha peered around the tree, and saw two silhouettes facing towards each other. K-Kagome .. At the thought of her name, Inuyasha's lips strangely crept into a rare smile. But instantly, it dropped as the two got close. Too close.
Inuyasha pricked his ears as he heard two voices clearly. Both talking.
"You are wrong, Hanoushi, " A familiar female voice sounded.
Inuyasha's ears pricked. Kagome ! Inuyasha growled. Hanoushi eh ? So that's the bastard's name. When I get out of this condition, I'll .. Instantly cutting off, Inuyasha frowned at the sorrow in Kagome's voice.
" There was never, never, any loveI was a blind fool to see that his heart belonged to nobody but his reallove. " the voice continued sadly.
What ? Inuyasha's mind whirling with possibilities. Is she .. talking about .. me ?
" It's okay, Kagome. I'm here .. " a husky, familiar voice reached Inuyasha's sensitive ears.
What the hell ? Did that sounded like me or .. Inuyasha froze.
Before his very eyes, the two figures became one. You could barely see the line between them as they embraced.
" K .. Kagome .. ? " Inuyasha whispered, his eyes deceiving him. Can this be true ? Kagome loves somebody else .. " T-That .. damned look-a-like. He'll pay for this .. " Inuyasha growled, as his blood began to quicken.
" Thank you, Hanoushi .. " Kagome's voice struck Inuyasha like a ton of bricks, each one marked with a whole lot of pain.
" I'll always be here for you, Kagome. " Inuyasha's voice-like voice followed smoothly, as a sound of embracing tightenend.
Just like Inuyasha's heart. Has he ever felt this way ? No. And he hated it. Sadly and angrily, Inuyasha turned his head away from the two. I'm sorry, Kagome. It's all my fault. You deserve somebody better than me. I shouldn't have come back ..
With the last final thoughts, Inuyasha fled. Forgetting all this pain, his body took him inside the shrine, and automatically jumped inside the well painfully.
So this is how Kikyou feels. And I thought I understood. Inuyasha grabbed onto the well's edge, holding him up before he could transport back to the warring states.
Glancing back sadly, Inuyasha closed his eyes and released his grip on the well. Goodbye wench. May you live your life happily, as I'll never live mine.
A bright light flashed in the shrine, bouncing the beams outside in the dark night. Then, that was last of the hanyou. That will ever be there again.
===
Kagome and Hanoushi quickly pulled apart. " What was that ? " Kagome whispered, her body panicking.
Hanoushi narrowed his eyes, feeling guilty hate pour back into his stomach, replacing the love and happiness he felt a minute ago. " It's him. "
Kagome whirled around, her eyes wide with new tears, " W-what ? Whose him ?! Hanoushi, who is it ?! " Kagome stuttered, grabbing onto Hanoushi's shirt.
Hanoushi sadly looked down at Kagome. Kagome's eyes were wide and fearful, her face twisted in raw emotions, mixed with love and regret. Hanoushi hated it. Turning away, he spoke softly. " Inuyasha. "
That was all she needed. Kagome broke away from Hanoushi and raced into the well, forgetting all the anger she felt at the hanyou. If he really left, then there wouldn't be a point of living. Kagome knew this from the start. She just wished that Inuyasha had felt the same ..
Tears embedded her eyes quickly as painful times when Inuyasha's told her that he only cared for K-K-Kikyou. Grimacing, Kagome pushed back the lump rising quickly in her throat. Narrowing her eyes in determination, Kagome picked up her pace and bolted inside the well.
No matter what you feel Inuyasha, I can't ignore mine. Selfish as it is, I need you in my life. Kagome took a deep breath as she brought her leg over the well quickly. You are my life ..
Kagome was about to jump in when a shadow descended on her. Turning around, Kagome saw Hanoushi. .. his expression sad.
" Hanoushi .. " Kagome whispered, not knowing what to say. " I-I .. have to go. "
" I know. " Hanoushi replied lightly, as he walked next to a confused Kagome. Swinging his leg over the well, he faced Kagome. " I'm coming with you. "
Kagome's eyes widened as she quickly shook her head, " No Hanoushi, this is a trip I have to go myself .. "
Hanoushi grabbed her arm, cutting Kagome off. " Please. "
Silence dawned between the two as Kagome peered thoughtfully at Hanoushi's face. Determination was set, and Kagome knew he wasn't going to leave her. Reluctantly, Kagome nodded. " Well, lets go. Before the well seals. "
With a nod, Kagome and Hanoushi jumped in at the same time, holding hands. With a flash of light, the two was gone.
===
" Kagome ? " a hoarse voice called, jolting Kagome up from her daze.
" Huh .. ? Inuyasha ? " Kagome called back, suddenly awake as she bolted up.
The voice sighed, trying to hide the pain and agony from its voice. " Hah ! No, Kagome .. it's me .. Hanoushi. "
" Oh. S-sorry .. " Kagome quickly got up, trying to ignore her gaze with Hanoushi.
" Where are we ? " Hanoushi asked, clearing his throat.
" In the well, lets get up. Don't ask, I'll tell you later. " Kagome said, as she began to pull herself up.
" If there is .. a later, Kagome. " Hanoushi replied softly, startling Kagome.
Ignoring Hanoushi's comment, Kagome helped Hanoushi get out. Surprisingly, it was Kagome who needed more help than he.
Kagome brushed herself off as she looked around. A smile couldn't help itself but creep upon her lips. The beautiful scenery always took her breath away, and it's been almost a week since she was gone. But her heart twisted as she realized she didn't know why she was here.
As if on cute, a hand was placed comfortingly on her shoulder. " It's okay, Kagome. I'm here. " Hanoushi's voice sounded softly. Kagome nodded in reply, afraid her voice would betray her emotions.
Walking quickly, Kagome rushed around, her face searching. Hanoushi followed quietly, confused. " What're you doing, Kagome ? "
" Sensing for Jewel Shards. That's where Inuyasha is. " Kagome replied, then froze as Hanoushi stiffened at the name.
" W-why do you need to know where he is, Kagome ? " Hanoushi asked, his voice suddenly tired.
Kagome sighed. Turning around, she let her eyes wander around sadly. In a soft voice, Kagome whispered. " I want to see him .. one last time. "
Hanoushi's knees just softened. He felt his world had just collapsed, even though he had no clue why. Seeing his Kagome, care for this man who has hurt her so much, was too much to bear. Hanoushi knew deep in his heart, he loved Kagome. Even though they kinda just met. But love was definitely there. And Hanoushi wasn't going to throw that love away.
Standing up, Hanoushi grabbed Kagome's arm. Kagome looked startled and tried to jump away. But the grip was strong, just as the hanyou's. " Kagome, you don't need this. You deserve more than that ! "
Kagome's eyes widened as she abruptly pulled away. " Don't judge my decisions, Hanoushi ! " Kagome spat, as she backed away angrily. " You don't even know me ! "
Hanoushi took a desperate step towards her, his eyes flashing. " We can, Kagome ! We can go home right now, and learn about each other, Kagome ! " Hanoushi took another step, cautiously, to the still Kagome. " I .. need you. "
" NO ! " Kagome exploded, jumping three feet away from Hanoushi. Tears was going down her face again, and it pained Hanoushi that it was he, who did it this time. " NO YOU DON'T ! YOU DON'T NEED ME, HANOUSHI ! " Kagome cried, as she turned around, sobbing in her hands.
Hanoushi took a step towards her but she quickly whipped her tear-stained face around. " J-Just go home. Okay ? "
As if his world already collapsed, the crumbling just melted away. But Kagome didn't need to tell him again. It was all along that Kagome had loved another, not him. He was stupid to even think about it. No matter what she felt, he will always feel the same. Nothing can replace the thing he felt for Kagome. Love.
Hanoushi took a step back, his face as white as a sheet of paper. Then, he jerked around and tore down the field. Kagome watched sadly as she watched the figure disappear into view, then a flash of light. " How he can come back and go, I do not know. But .. just don't come back now, Hanoushi. " Kagome whispered, as if he could still hear her.
Then, with determination etched into her brain, Kagome trudged on. If it took her a lifetime to see Inuyasha one last time, so be it. But Kagome knew it wouldn't. Why ? Because she just sensed the power .. of the Shikon no Tama.