As I walk through the cemetery with Buffy I'm unusually quite, it's because
I want to ask a question, and I'm not sure how I feel about the answer.
"Buffy?"
"Yes?"
"Do you know what happened to Anya? After. I've tried calling her house a
few times, but no one's there, and I haven't seen her around." Buffy's face
has fallen; she obviously didn't want to tell me whatever it is.
"Um, she kinda left town after your funeral." It looked like she was going to go on, but she stopped, so I'm guessing that bit is the bad part. "And?" She grins weakly as I prompt her for the rest of the story. "With Jonathon" I've got to admit my mind is pretty stumped at this. "Jonathon? When has she even met him?" If possible her face falls even further; I manage to figure it out myself and save Buffy from having to tell me. "Met him at my funeral huh?" She nods weakly. I grin reassuringly at her; I can't say I'm as devastated as I should be. I figured that I'd have to break up with Anya after what I've been feeling for Willow, even though I can't act on them it still wouldn't have been fair to her. So even though I'm mostly relieved I'm still a little peeved, and have memories of past girlfriends swimming through my head.
"Am I really that easy to get over?" "I think you'd be really difficult to get over." I imagine my face must have been the very image of shock, I really didn't expect Buffy to ever say anything like that to me, and especially not with the hint of sadness that her words seemed to contain. Unfortunately I don't get a chance to question her as a group of three vampires begin to attack us.
All three were fledglings, probably turned in the last three days, and they had no idea who they were attacking. Two of them run right into mine and Buffy's stakes. "Come on, it's no fun when you don't try." I smile at Buffy's whining from my left as we start to circle around the remaining vamp. He keeps his eyes firmly locked on mine, his body in a defensive posture, leaving Buffy behind him. "Seriously, it's her you should be worried about." The panic on his face is priceless as he spins round in time to see Buffy put a stake through his heart. She slightly overbalances as he turns to dust and I grab her before she falls. We end up in a classic romance movie pose, you know, the one where the girl stumbles, the guy catches her, then she looks up into his eyes, and then they kiss. So when she looks up into my eyes the quip leaves my mouth before I even realise how hurtful it could be.
"Jeez Buffy, what is it with you and vampires?" As soon as it leaves my mouth I realise what a jackass I am. I look at Buffy, expecting her to be sad or angry, instead she's blushing. "Um, is there something you want to tell me?" She shakes her head vigorously. "You know you want to." My tone is teasing and she starts to blush a little more. "Its just, after you died, I heard some things about you, and I started to wonder, you know, what it might have been like, if I hadn't turned you down at spring fling." I've got to admit it's something I've thought about on lot's of occasions, it's probably because of this that I'm able to answer as quickly as I do. I know now that I'm not right for Buffy, or she's not right for me, either way I'm glad of the friendship we have now rather than something that could have been.
"Do you want me to tell you?" I pause a second to make sure she's listening. "We would have started out having lots of fun. I'd have swept you off your feet." She grins at that. "We'd have missed out on some sadness. And then the pressure of our lives would have got to us. I'd have started doing stupid things, and eventually we wouldn't be able to look at each other anymore. I don't know about you but I couldn't cope not having you as a friend, and eventually that's what we'd do to each other." As I gaze at my friend of almost six years, I can see her eyes are glistening with tears as well as an emotion that I never thought I'd see from Buffy, respect. "Now come on, we've got three more cemeteries to do, and you haven't told me what you could possible have heard that so changed your view of me."
"When you were buried, we stayed by your grave all night, in case you rose." "I know; I woke up just as the sun was rising." She looks at me before going on; I can't place the emotion that crosses her face. "Afterwards I wasn't ready to go home, couldn't face what happened." She pauses for a while before continuing. "I wandered for a bit, I ended up at Willy's. Did you know they had a party to celebrate your death?" There's a fair amount of wonder in her voice as I nod my affirmation. "W-when I walked in; Willy just came across to me and gave me a note telling me where to find the vampire that turned you. He just said that a scum like him didn't deserve to have taken you down." Tears are starting to run down Buffy's face, I walk her over to a nearby grave stone and sit her down, putting my arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. "I just sat at the bar; I couldn't face going anywhere else. Suddenly Willy's telling me about this time you saved him from a couple of demons that didn't want to pay their tab. And then a vampire comes up and starts talking about a time you beat him up rescuing one of his victims, and they all knew you, and every single one of them had a story where you were the hero. They told me about you rescuing Faith, about defeating a gang of zombies, about saving the school. One of them said he'd seen you stand up to Angelus."
She's gazing at me with amazement now, and I don't really know where to look. I try to look away but she grabs my chin and turns my face to meet hers. "How can you do all these things and then tell me that I'm your hero? Xander Harris, you are definitely my hero." If I could blush as a vampire I'd definitely be looking like a beetroot about now. "Well maybe we can be each others." She's beginning to smile again and wiping away the last of her tears. "Yeh, I'd like that."
We've patrolled most of the second cemetery without incident. So far it's been in comfortable silence. That is until Buffy starts to tell me a little more about the time I missed in Sunnydale. "I called him you know." "Who?" "Angel, after I found your grave was empty. He told me all about the hospital." "Oh." I'm not used to being noticed for my achievements, I'm starting to feel pretty uncomfortable about it. "He almost turned you. Did you know that?" "What?" I knew I'd been facing possible death, but I hadn't realised just how close. "He thought you'd make a great vampire, but he didn't think he'd be able to control you." "Wow, I'm not really sure what to make of that." "I asked him for advice, when I didn't know you had a soul, he said I should pray to whatever deity I believed in that he took you out with him. Those were his exact words. He didn't think he'd be able to stop you. He didn't think I'd be able to stop you." "Wow, the thought of me as a vamp brought fear to the scourge of Europe? That's actually pretty cool."
We were pretty much finished with the last cemetery when we found a group of 5 large, red, and scaly demons performing some sort of ceremony. Things might have gone a bit more smoothly if we hadn't wandered right into the middle of their circle; next time less talking and more attention to detail. My only weapon was a stake, which in now firmly embedded in the chest of the demon currently pounding me. Did I mention that they're strong? Very strong, luckily three of them have continued with the ceremony, so Buffy and I only have to deal with one each. I've finally managed to duck underneath one of this thing's blows; it's smashed the stonework behind me to pieces.
"Hey Buffy! Remind me to start training with you if I survive this." She's standing by her demon, it's slumped to the ground, a large branch protruding from its eye. "Your doing great." She pulls the branch out of the demon and throws it to me. "Here, catch." I catch it just as the demon smacks me across the temple, knocking me on my butt. It stops to laugh at me. I take the opportunity to stick the branch into its brain. "Not so funny now is it."
I run over to Buffy, whose currently fighting the remaining three demons. One of them has her by the throat and I smack him across the side of the head so hard that a human's would probably have come off. Instead he let's go of Buffy and turns on me. For the next few minutes I get myself thrown around, flung through a good few head stones, before finally managing to get the creature in a headlock, jamming my fist up through his eye, before finally slumping to the ground. Buffy has already finished of the other two demons and is sitting on the ground watching me.
"You couldn't have given me a hand?" "What! I had two remember?" I just lie back on the ground and stare at the sky. I'm far to exhausted to consider moving. It's not long before I feel a presence lie down beside me. "You do realise your arms covered in blue goo." "It seems to happen a surprising amount since I met you." I roll over to face my friend, I find she's already facing me, as we lie there she seems to studying me. Once again I find I don't really know what to make of it. Instead I voice a concern that's been bothering me since my visit with Oz.
"What do you think of Tara?" "Is that why you rejected my advances? You got a crush on Willows girlfriend?" Her eyes are twinkling with mischief as she says this, and in reply I flick her with blue demon slime. "I've just been thinking that I don't know anything about her. Don't you think that's weird considering she's going out with my best friend? I just don't think I've made much effort to befriend her, and I think maybe I should have." Her look is downcast now, and when she speaks she has the tone of someone divulging information that they're not sure they should.
"Well I haven't been either. I think they might be having some problems, they've been very tense the last week or so, and I've heard Willow raise her voice a few times." "The last week or so? You mean since I died." "Well that's when I noticed it. But now I think about it, I think it's been going on for a bit longer than that." I find my heart bleeding at the thought of my best friend in pain again. "Buffy?" "Hmmm?" "How do you feel about interfering in people's love lives?" Her face picks up at this. "Depends." "Ok, then you can go talk to Willow tomorrow and find out what's going on, I'll try and do the same with Tara." "Hey, I said depends." "Your mind was made up when I said interfere and you know it." I jump up before she can interrupt. "Come on, I think it's time we head home." "Hey!"
"Um, she kinda left town after your funeral." It looked like she was going to go on, but she stopped, so I'm guessing that bit is the bad part. "And?" She grins weakly as I prompt her for the rest of the story. "With Jonathon" I've got to admit my mind is pretty stumped at this. "Jonathon? When has she even met him?" If possible her face falls even further; I manage to figure it out myself and save Buffy from having to tell me. "Met him at my funeral huh?" She nods weakly. I grin reassuringly at her; I can't say I'm as devastated as I should be. I figured that I'd have to break up with Anya after what I've been feeling for Willow, even though I can't act on them it still wouldn't have been fair to her. So even though I'm mostly relieved I'm still a little peeved, and have memories of past girlfriends swimming through my head.
"Am I really that easy to get over?" "I think you'd be really difficult to get over." I imagine my face must have been the very image of shock, I really didn't expect Buffy to ever say anything like that to me, and especially not with the hint of sadness that her words seemed to contain. Unfortunately I don't get a chance to question her as a group of three vampires begin to attack us.
All three were fledglings, probably turned in the last three days, and they had no idea who they were attacking. Two of them run right into mine and Buffy's stakes. "Come on, it's no fun when you don't try." I smile at Buffy's whining from my left as we start to circle around the remaining vamp. He keeps his eyes firmly locked on mine, his body in a defensive posture, leaving Buffy behind him. "Seriously, it's her you should be worried about." The panic on his face is priceless as he spins round in time to see Buffy put a stake through his heart. She slightly overbalances as he turns to dust and I grab her before she falls. We end up in a classic romance movie pose, you know, the one where the girl stumbles, the guy catches her, then she looks up into his eyes, and then they kiss. So when she looks up into my eyes the quip leaves my mouth before I even realise how hurtful it could be.
"Jeez Buffy, what is it with you and vampires?" As soon as it leaves my mouth I realise what a jackass I am. I look at Buffy, expecting her to be sad or angry, instead she's blushing. "Um, is there something you want to tell me?" She shakes her head vigorously. "You know you want to." My tone is teasing and she starts to blush a little more. "Its just, after you died, I heard some things about you, and I started to wonder, you know, what it might have been like, if I hadn't turned you down at spring fling." I've got to admit it's something I've thought about on lot's of occasions, it's probably because of this that I'm able to answer as quickly as I do. I know now that I'm not right for Buffy, or she's not right for me, either way I'm glad of the friendship we have now rather than something that could have been.
"Do you want me to tell you?" I pause a second to make sure she's listening. "We would have started out having lots of fun. I'd have swept you off your feet." She grins at that. "We'd have missed out on some sadness. And then the pressure of our lives would have got to us. I'd have started doing stupid things, and eventually we wouldn't be able to look at each other anymore. I don't know about you but I couldn't cope not having you as a friend, and eventually that's what we'd do to each other." As I gaze at my friend of almost six years, I can see her eyes are glistening with tears as well as an emotion that I never thought I'd see from Buffy, respect. "Now come on, we've got three more cemeteries to do, and you haven't told me what you could possible have heard that so changed your view of me."
"When you were buried, we stayed by your grave all night, in case you rose." "I know; I woke up just as the sun was rising." She looks at me before going on; I can't place the emotion that crosses her face. "Afterwards I wasn't ready to go home, couldn't face what happened." She pauses for a while before continuing. "I wandered for a bit, I ended up at Willy's. Did you know they had a party to celebrate your death?" There's a fair amount of wonder in her voice as I nod my affirmation. "W-when I walked in; Willy just came across to me and gave me a note telling me where to find the vampire that turned you. He just said that a scum like him didn't deserve to have taken you down." Tears are starting to run down Buffy's face, I walk her over to a nearby grave stone and sit her down, putting my arm around her shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. "I just sat at the bar; I couldn't face going anywhere else. Suddenly Willy's telling me about this time you saved him from a couple of demons that didn't want to pay their tab. And then a vampire comes up and starts talking about a time you beat him up rescuing one of his victims, and they all knew you, and every single one of them had a story where you were the hero. They told me about you rescuing Faith, about defeating a gang of zombies, about saving the school. One of them said he'd seen you stand up to Angelus."
She's gazing at me with amazement now, and I don't really know where to look. I try to look away but she grabs my chin and turns my face to meet hers. "How can you do all these things and then tell me that I'm your hero? Xander Harris, you are definitely my hero." If I could blush as a vampire I'd definitely be looking like a beetroot about now. "Well maybe we can be each others." She's beginning to smile again and wiping away the last of her tears. "Yeh, I'd like that."
We've patrolled most of the second cemetery without incident. So far it's been in comfortable silence. That is until Buffy starts to tell me a little more about the time I missed in Sunnydale. "I called him you know." "Who?" "Angel, after I found your grave was empty. He told me all about the hospital." "Oh." I'm not used to being noticed for my achievements, I'm starting to feel pretty uncomfortable about it. "He almost turned you. Did you know that?" "What?" I knew I'd been facing possible death, but I hadn't realised just how close. "He thought you'd make a great vampire, but he didn't think he'd be able to control you." "Wow, I'm not really sure what to make of that." "I asked him for advice, when I didn't know you had a soul, he said I should pray to whatever deity I believed in that he took you out with him. Those were his exact words. He didn't think he'd be able to stop you. He didn't think I'd be able to stop you." "Wow, the thought of me as a vamp brought fear to the scourge of Europe? That's actually pretty cool."
We were pretty much finished with the last cemetery when we found a group of 5 large, red, and scaly demons performing some sort of ceremony. Things might have gone a bit more smoothly if we hadn't wandered right into the middle of their circle; next time less talking and more attention to detail. My only weapon was a stake, which in now firmly embedded in the chest of the demon currently pounding me. Did I mention that they're strong? Very strong, luckily three of them have continued with the ceremony, so Buffy and I only have to deal with one each. I've finally managed to duck underneath one of this thing's blows; it's smashed the stonework behind me to pieces.
"Hey Buffy! Remind me to start training with you if I survive this." She's standing by her demon, it's slumped to the ground, a large branch protruding from its eye. "Your doing great." She pulls the branch out of the demon and throws it to me. "Here, catch." I catch it just as the demon smacks me across the temple, knocking me on my butt. It stops to laugh at me. I take the opportunity to stick the branch into its brain. "Not so funny now is it."
I run over to Buffy, whose currently fighting the remaining three demons. One of them has her by the throat and I smack him across the side of the head so hard that a human's would probably have come off. Instead he let's go of Buffy and turns on me. For the next few minutes I get myself thrown around, flung through a good few head stones, before finally managing to get the creature in a headlock, jamming my fist up through his eye, before finally slumping to the ground. Buffy has already finished of the other two demons and is sitting on the ground watching me.
"You couldn't have given me a hand?" "What! I had two remember?" I just lie back on the ground and stare at the sky. I'm far to exhausted to consider moving. It's not long before I feel a presence lie down beside me. "You do realise your arms covered in blue goo." "It seems to happen a surprising amount since I met you." I roll over to face my friend, I find she's already facing me, as we lie there she seems to studying me. Once again I find I don't really know what to make of it. Instead I voice a concern that's been bothering me since my visit with Oz.
"What do you think of Tara?" "Is that why you rejected my advances? You got a crush on Willows girlfriend?" Her eyes are twinkling with mischief as she says this, and in reply I flick her with blue demon slime. "I've just been thinking that I don't know anything about her. Don't you think that's weird considering she's going out with my best friend? I just don't think I've made much effort to befriend her, and I think maybe I should have." Her look is downcast now, and when she speaks she has the tone of someone divulging information that they're not sure they should.
"Well I haven't been either. I think they might be having some problems, they've been very tense the last week or so, and I've heard Willow raise her voice a few times." "The last week or so? You mean since I died." "Well that's when I noticed it. But now I think about it, I think it's been going on for a bit longer than that." I find my heart bleeding at the thought of my best friend in pain again. "Buffy?" "Hmmm?" "How do you feel about interfering in people's love lives?" Her face picks up at this. "Depends." "Ok, then you can go talk to Willow tomorrow and find out what's going on, I'll try and do the same with Tara." "Hey, I said depends." "Your mind was made up when I said interfere and you know it." I jump up before she can interrupt. "Come on, I think it's time we head home." "Hey!"