Chapter 2: Out and about the house.
The bus ride seemed awfully long considering it was taking them to a
building on the same grounds as the airfield. Phil smiled and nodded the
entire time while Tina babbled on and on endlessly. Phil didn't have the
heart to tell her he couldn't understand half of what she was saying and
the other half he simply didn't care, but after all, it wouldn't have been
nice and she was likely having difficulty with his accent to. Finally the
bus stopped at a large complex and the passengers filed out. Tina stayed
with Phil, still talking endlessly as a guide spoke about the conduct they
were to follow during their stay.
"Look, Tina, I don't mean to be a downer, but we really should listen to what this guy is saying, eh?" Tina burst out laughing and pointed at Phil.
"You said 'eh'!" A bunch of those surrounding them "shh"ed them and told them to shut up.
Damn I did, didn't I? I'll never live THAT down I'm sure. "Yes I did, now let's listen to this guy." Tina waved her hand in a dismissing manner.
"Shucks, I done been in this tournament every year, this is my fourth time, I don't need to hear this again."
Good for you, here's a cookie. "Heh well I guess you win there." Wait a minute, did she just say 'I done been'?
"Any questions?" the guide said, wrapping up his welcome. No one spoke, the guide looked over at Phil. "You were doing an awful lot of talking during my speech, sir. Tell me, what wing is it forbidden for guests to enter?" Phil stared blankly for a minute then let his head sink. "You don't know do you?" Phil shook his head. "The Delta wing is off limits to all guests, please try to remember that. You're not in Canada anymore, there are things here more dangerous than penguins and polar bears." The crowd let out a good laugh at the guide's joke, Phil grinned sheepishly and nodded.
"Heh, yeah, sorry." Yeah keep making jokes buddy, I dare you, I freaking dare you!
"That concludes the tour." the guide said with an outstanding infomercial voice. Again he looked at Phil. "But first, I would like to ask Captain Canuck to step forward." Phil was shocked but cooperated.
Captain Canuck eh? Keep going pal. Phil stood next to the guide and faced the group. The guide put his arm around Phil's shoulder. Dear God, haven't you ever heard of deodorant? Stop touching me, oh man I hope this washes off.
"Now, uhh..."
"Phil."
"Phil. I need you to do me a big, BIG favour." Phil nodded.
"Okay, I'll see what I can do." The guide grinned at the group.
"Say 'out and about the house' just once, please." Phil sighed, he knew where this was going.
"Out... and about... the house." The entire group roared with laughter. The guide held his sides as he struggled to stay standing.
"You said 'oot and aboot the hoose'!" he laughed uncontrollably, as did most of the crowd. Phil smiled and again chuckled lightly.
"Heh, yeah, good one man." Burn in Hell.
"Look, Tina, I don't mean to be a downer, but we really should listen to what this guy is saying, eh?" Tina burst out laughing and pointed at Phil.
"You said 'eh'!" A bunch of those surrounding them "shh"ed them and told them to shut up.
Damn I did, didn't I? I'll never live THAT down I'm sure. "Yes I did, now let's listen to this guy." Tina waved her hand in a dismissing manner.
"Shucks, I done been in this tournament every year, this is my fourth time, I don't need to hear this again."
Good for you, here's a cookie. "Heh well I guess you win there." Wait a minute, did she just say 'I done been'?
"Any questions?" the guide said, wrapping up his welcome. No one spoke, the guide looked over at Phil. "You were doing an awful lot of talking during my speech, sir. Tell me, what wing is it forbidden for guests to enter?" Phil stared blankly for a minute then let his head sink. "You don't know do you?" Phil shook his head. "The Delta wing is off limits to all guests, please try to remember that. You're not in Canada anymore, there are things here more dangerous than penguins and polar bears." The crowd let out a good laugh at the guide's joke, Phil grinned sheepishly and nodded.
"Heh, yeah, sorry." Yeah keep making jokes buddy, I dare you, I freaking dare you!
"That concludes the tour." the guide said with an outstanding infomercial voice. Again he looked at Phil. "But first, I would like to ask Captain Canuck to step forward." Phil was shocked but cooperated.
Captain Canuck eh? Keep going pal. Phil stood next to the guide and faced the group. The guide put his arm around Phil's shoulder. Dear God, haven't you ever heard of deodorant? Stop touching me, oh man I hope this washes off.
"Now, uhh..."
"Phil."
"Phil. I need you to do me a big, BIG favour." Phil nodded.
"Okay, I'll see what I can do." The guide grinned at the group.
"Say 'out and about the house' just once, please." Phil sighed, he knew where this was going.
"Out... and about... the house." The entire group roared with laughter. The guide held his sides as he struggled to stay standing.
"You said 'oot and aboot the hoose'!" he laughed uncontrollably, as did most of the crowd. Phil smiled and again chuckled lightly.
"Heh, yeah, good one man." Burn in Hell.