"Wait, so Dean asks you to come into an alley with him?"
"Yes," Rory said.
"And then he tells you he wants to be friends?"
"Again, yes."
"That? Is weird."
Rory shifted where she sat and shrugged one shoulder and then the other. "I don't know—it didn't feel right. I felt so… shifty. But then again, it's Dean, you know?"
Lane nodded sagely. "It's Dean. So what are you going to do?"
With a sigh, she said, "try to mind my own business? I don't know. Concentrate on school, probably. It's all I can really do, right?"
"Because you can't really mind your own business," Lane said.
"Lane!"
"I mean, he's making you his business, right?"
"I guess." Rory threw herself back on the bed and stared at the ceiling. "I don't know how Brian and Zach can sleep through this."
"I know, right? It's so bizarre: the minute the lights go out, they just pass out," Lane said.
"They're like a psychology experiment. They're the Pavlovian dogs of power outs."
"Boys are seriously weird."
Rory propped herself up on one hand. "Do you miss Dave?"
Lane shrugged. "I do, sometimes. When I need someone to talk to. When I ran away, I did. When we go to gigs and everyone's got someone there but me."
"You know as soon as school gets out, I'm there," Rory said.
"It's not that. It's more than just having someone, you know, it's about having the someone you most want there not there. But he's doing well, and he calls when he can. But he's busy. College changes things. You know," Lane said.
"Yeah. I know it's not the same, but you can call me whenever you want," Rory told her.
"I know." She paused. "But at the same time, it's not like when you went to Chilton and you were home at night and in the afternoon and on weekends. I mean, in high school you had this whole other life, too, but it's not the same. You've got this whole other life now. I've got this whole other life now. My mom's replaced me—"
"Lane, she hasn't replaced you," Rory said.
Lane looked at Rory darkly over the frames of her glasses. "My mom's got a real, live Korean girl living in her house, eating her food and doing everything she's supposed to. You're away a lot, I've got the band, Lorelai's got the inn, Dave's at school, I'm living with boys… everything's different."
Rory laid herself back down and thought about it, watching the shadows on the ceiling. "I haven't thought about it much. I still feel like me."
"Well, I still feel like me, but I feel like I have to stretch myself out—like I'm me, but there's more of me to be."
"Huh."
A boy emitted a loud snort from the other room. Lane shook her head. "At least I'm not missing out on the dorm experience."
"At least that," Rory said. She closed her eyes and thought about what her friend had just said. "There's more of me to be," she said, under her breath. It was an idea that would need time to digest. More of me to be, she thought. Huh.