'I'm not afraid of flying.
I'm afraid of crashing.'
(Neil Simon)
CHAPTER 3 – 'I'll bet you could use a pensieve, but this is the closest I could afford'
Harry tried to struggle into a sitting position so that he could talk to the headmaster, but before he'd gotten anywhere with his tired, aching limbs, he felt strong arms holding him still.
"Harry, just relax. You need to rest yourself."
Just hearing the soft even tone of Dumbledore's voice was enough to sooth away the last vestiges of tension.
Harry silently sighed in relief, he may not have appreciated the headmaster's actions last year, but he could not deny that he was grateful that the powerful old wizard had taken control of this particular situation. He decided that he would do as Dumbledore requested, for now.
"Now my boy. It seems we have quite a situation."
Looking up at the headmaster's calm, yet sombre face Harry nodded slowly.
"As regards the silencing potion I am sure there are steps that we may take to resolve the issue. That is not my concern.
I know that you are exhausted dear boy, but I must ask that you allow me to perform a simple charm."
Harry tilted his head and raised an eyebrow in question.
He didn't miss the tiniest falter in the headmaster's eyes, he knew that Dumbledore regretted the fact that he no longer had Harry's complete trust.
"It will simply allow me to ascertain your condition Mr Potter, nothing more."
With a tiny nod Harry acquiesced.
The spell was only barely detectable as a tiny tingle of magic. Harry simply closed his eyes, too tired to pay much attention.
He vaguely heard Dumbledore murmur to himself but didn't try to hear what the headmaster was saying. He couldn't bring himself to care.
The latest vision was still with him… As with all the others it had been firmly imprinted on his mind.
He could still smell the smoky, rancid, smell of burning flesh.
He could still feel the heat from the flames tickling the skin of his face.
And most terrible of all, he could still feel the thrills of Voldemort's excitement that had travelled down his spine.
Everything about it made him feel deeply nauseous and ashamed.
When he eventually opened his eyes again he could see Dumbledore regarding him thoughtfully.
"Do you know what happened to your body when your last vision was occurring, Harry?"
Asked Dumbledore, in an unusually soft voice.
Frowning, Harry slowly shook his head.
"When I arrived you had caused quite an uproar. It's only fair to let you know. Harry… When you were in the throes of that last vision you were enacting what I can only assume must have been Voldemort's actions."
Harry felt as though his pounding heart had suddenly forgotten how to beat.
A wave of revulsion, terror and nausea shook though him and he keeled over and started choking on the bile that had hit the back of his throat.
He barely registered Dumbledore's hand on his back until the dizziness subsided and the black spots in his vision cleared away.
He realised then that he was shaking.
He felt cold. The thin Hospital wing pyjamas seemed more inadequate then ever.
Feeling too dazed and weak to protest, Harry allowed Dumbledore to ease his trembling body back onto the mattress and was instantly grateful for the warm sheets that were tucked around his body.
"Relax Harry. I'm here now, and I will try and help you through this, if you'll allow me. Just try to rest. Don't think about it for the time being."
Dumbledore's soft voice once again soothed Harry and his exhausted muscles seemed to melt to the bed as he slowly let sleep overpower him. Perhaps it was worth considering the headmaster's remorse. He certainly needed all the help he could get.
***
Harry was understandably surprised to awaken in his own bed in Gryffindor Tower.
He glanced to either side and noticed that none of his dorm-mates were in the room.
It was comforting to feel the familiar surroundings, as though the magic of the castle were seeping right into him, down to his bones.
He also remarked with surprise that his mind had been completely undisturbed since Dumbledore had coaxed him to sleep.
Sitting up gingerly his eyes flicked across to his trunk. He was glad to see that his things had arrived safely and he slowly shuffled across the bed and reached down into his trunk to pull out the journal that Ginny had given him for his birthday…
~~~
Harry sat on his bed surrounded by his gifts and feeling contented for the first time that summer.
He had just started stashing things away to hide them from the Dursleys when a tap on the window caught his attention.
Noticing that Pigwidgeon was out there, and struggling with a package, he quickly opened the window.
He discarded the package on his desk and opened the note, his mind brimming with curiosity.
'Dear Harry,
I hope you don't mind receiving yet another Weasley gift. I know that Ron and Mum have already sent things. I just wanted to give you something that was just from me. To let you know that I haven't forgotten what you did for me in my first year at Hogwarts. (I'm sure that I never properly thanked you). It's not much, but it has a significant meaning, which I'm sure you'll understand. I also wanted to thank you for the DA last year. I'm not sure if you understand just how grateful we all were that we had someone to help us learn to defend ourselves properly. I know that I personally HATE being helpless and that's exactly what Umbridge would have achieved if it weren't for the DA.
Hope you like the present.
See you in September.
Ginny'
After quickly re-reading the letter Harry carefully undid the neatly wrapped package and gasped as a sleek black diary fell into his lap.
There was a short inscription inside the front cover.
'H.P. My father has carefully checked this diary. It won't write back! After last year I'll bet you could use a pensieve, but this is the closest I could afford. I hope that you will find it useful. G.W.'
Harry smiled and held the journal to his chest thinking that maybe Ginny knew him better than he'd once thought.
~~~
He waited a moment, collecting his thoughts, before he wrote down an account of his return to Hogwarts.
His homecoming.
Once the pages had been filled he stopped to ponder what had been an overly harrowing day.
'And here was me, imagining that coming home could solve all my problems.'
Letting the diary fall shut he slouched back against his pillows and allowed his head to roll to one side.
He noticed a small potions bottle, with a note resting against it on the bedside cabinet.
He flipped open the parchment to read the note.
'Potter,
Drink all of this when you wake up. It will soothe any residual aches you may have.
Professor Snape.'
When he managed to uncork the bottle the smell quickly wafted to his nose and made him grimace.
It smelt awful.
With a resigned shrug Harry gulped down the potion.
Despite the aroma it tasted surprisingly neutral, just a hint of something that had a tang of freshness, like lush green grass.
Harry was surprised to feel suddenly relieved. He realised that he'd become accustomed to harbouring the deep aches of his body and that it was the removal of this constancy that left him feeling almost giddy.
With revitalised vigour Harry found his robes and got dressed.
A quick glance at the clock on the wall told him that it was just nearing the end of breakfast.
Not feeling particularly hungry and unwilling to make a big entrance Harry quickly gathered his books and wondered what lesson he had first.
He had only just left the dormitory when he had his timetable in his hand and was embraced tightly by Hermione.
"I was just about to get Ron to go in and see if you were awake."
She muttered, without letting go.
"How are you feeling this morning?"
Harry wriggled out of the hug and mouthed 'OK'.
"Good. You had us worried yesterday. But if you're up for classes then we'd best get a move on. It's Snape and potions first!"
Harry gave Hermione a confused look and she shook her head.
"Snape isn't happy with Dumbledore, and he's definitely in a fury with you. The headmaster is forcing the issue, you'll be taking NEWT potions after all, it's the only way you'll learn enough to be able to brew the antidote to the Mutinus potion."
Harry's heart gave an apprehensive lurch at the thought of Snape's rage, but he nodded and followed Hermione down the stairs.
Ron was waiting for them in the common room talking to Ginny.
"There you are!"
He shouted.
"See Ginny? He's fine. Now get to Transfiguration before you get into trouble with McGonagall."
Ginny smiled weakly at Harry before turning back to her brother.
"For your information Ronald, Professor McGonagall asked me at breakfast to check that Harry was going to classes today and tell her. After all I am the new prefect."
She said smugly before flashing a quick cheeky grin at Harry and Hermione and disappearing through the portrait hole.
Hermione and Harry soon followed her out with a called,
"Snape'll kill you if you're any later."
From Ron.
They made their way swiftly down through the school to the dungeons and arrived just before Snape, gratefully sinking into their places as the professor prowled into the room.
"Today is your first NEWT lesson. As such it will be a practical lesson in order for me to make sure that everyone's brewing technique is up to scratch. Take note of the ingredients that have already been prepared for your use. Remember that timing, and procedure, are essential. I expect a comprehensive report on the consequences of inaccurate technique in which you note your observations from this class. You have until Friday to complete your write up. Even Mr Potter ought to manage this assignment."
Hermione quickly rushed to go to the ingredients table and get the best of the ingredients whilst Harry began setting up their cauldron.
On her return she started rushing to prepare the pixie wings, obviously concerned about the amount of time it would take to generate enough results.
Harry leant over and waved a scrap of parchment at her.
'Let's pool our results with the others.'
Hermione blinked twice at the parchment and then twice more at her friend before whispering,
"That's an absolutely brilliant idea Harry!"
Harry merely shrugged and smiled a little before he started carefully shredding a cuspid root, Hermione taking the initiative and grouping students together to arrange the result sharing.
*
After potions Harry found himself cornered by Hermione.
"What gave you the idea?"
She whispered, her eyes bright with curiosity.
Harry shrugged again and scrawled briefly on some parchment.
'It seemed a stupid amount of work for each person, and everyone makes different mistakes as it is.'
Hermione smiled widely at him.
"Well, you certainly saved us a lot of trouble. The Slytherins were a mess! They would never have thought to help each other out like we did."
Harry just smiled and carried on down the corridor towards Defence against the Dark arts were Ron would be waiting for them.
Maybe he would be able to cope, despite the silencing potion, after all.
*~*~*~*~*
A/N
The next chapter is ¾ written so look out for another update soon!
Jona
Xxx
Thanks to everyone who's given me feedback!