"Paving the Way"
By Rita Widmer
Disclaimer: I can only dream to own JAG.
AN: This is a sequel to "Lost Without a Dream." Thank you for all the feedback on that story. Enjoy! I live for feedback!
Spoilers: Hail and Farewell
Naval Academy
Mac felt her throat close up as she tried to tell Harm what the doctor had told her. Saying it aloud only made it more real for her, and Harm seemed almost hopeful that I might one day fulfill the baby deal with him.
Starting out with the easy words, she looked up at him and said, "I can't ask you to try to keep your promise. It's one promise that can never be fulfilled. Not, because of any lack of trying, but..." She tucked her head down once more afraid to continue.
"Sarah, you can tell me. Why can't it ever be fulfilled?"
"Because it would take a miracle. There's so little chance that I could ever carry a child inside me. Even if I got pregnant the baby probably wouldn't survive in the womb. I should have known that I was never meant to have children. The way men leave and die in my life, I probably kill my child too."
Harm stood up abruptly, and stood frozen in place. Mac watched him, and wondered what he was thinking. He abruptly turned around to face her. "First, you are not at fault for those deaths. You would never hurt any child. Need proof? Look what you did for Chloe and Mattie. If it wasn't for you, Mattie would never have come to live with me. You may not be able to have children the traditional way, but there is adoption. There are other ways to have a child."
"A single marine, yeah right, Harm. They would never give me a child in a million years, especially if they researched my background. It is rare even for a married military couple to adopt a child."
"Giving up without a fight?"
"The fight went out of me after Paraguay. I'm not meant to have a husband and family. It's not mine to have, and I've decided that I'm going to search for that real purpose."
"And how are you going to do that?"
"I'm going to leave JAG. The next couple of months as I prepare and heal from surgery, I'm going to go on a search for the place I belong. There has to be a job in the military or in the civilian world meant just for me."
"You...you can't do that!"
"Why not?"
"You told me I would never lose you. If you leave, I will lose you."
"Don't do that to me. I want to stay in this area, but I'm not going to let it hold me back if I have to leave. I'm not going to take this new job hunting with no consideration. Harm, I want you part of my life somehow. It just never could be anything more than friendship."
"Because you don't love me? If it's because you can't have children then we need to have a talk about that."
"My feelings don't matter in this case. I won't be the one that will deny you the chance of having children that is part you and part the woman you love. There is no way I'm going to keep you from that."
"I only want children with you. Adopted or carried by you, it doesn't make much of a difference to me. The baby deal had more to do with having you in my life, and showing my love for you than any need of carrying on the Rabb genes."
Mac's head was spinning. "Did you just say that you love me?"
"YES! I love you very much. All I want is you."
"I know a part of me still loves you. It's just so soon after I told Webb I loved him."
"Then stay at JAG, and let me be there for you. I'll show you how much you mean to me. One day you'll be able to know for sure your feelings."
"Why do I have to be at JAG to do that? We can't be at JAG together anyways if we want to pursue a romantic relationship in the future. I need to find my place in this world, Harm. Don't make me feel guilty for wanting to leave JAG."
"All right, but try to find a place near here."
"I'll try, Harm, I'll try. If we are meant to have a future then things will work themselves out."
"That's all I can ask. Come on, you look tired. Let me take you home."
She took his arm, and they walked into a future unknown to either. All Mac knew was that she was paving the path of her future with Harm at her side.
Harm's Apartment
3 Months Later
Mac rushed into Harm's apartment without knocking. She was so excited! Not only had she found a new job for her, but with it came a new realization of her feelings.
"Harm, where are you? I have exciting news," called Mac into the apartment.
"Just got out of the shower, marine. I didn't think you would want me to walk out without at least a towel on." Harm walked out with his boxers on instead of a towel.
"In all my excitement, I may not have noticed. Now sit down, I have something to tell you."
"What is it, Mac?"
"I found the job for me. I'll be stationed here in Washington at the Pentagon, but I'll have to do some traveling as needed."
"That's great, Mac," Harm said quietly.
"Then why don't you sound like it?"
"I'm just going to miss you at JAG. It won't be the same without you."
"I'll miss JAG, and working with you too. It's not the same there anymore without the Admiral, Harriet, Gunny and Tiner all gone, and I can no longer find the feeling of great purpose when I'm there. This new job will be just what I needed."
"I'm glad. You seem to be lost lately, and don't know where to go. I wanted to help, but only you could find the way."
"I know, and this new job helped me see something else. Once I stopped looking at trying to get over all the changes, I realized one thing will always stay the same. I love you, Harm!"
Mac watched as great joy came into Harm's whole being. Before she knew what was happening she found herself in his arms being spun around. She had found a new dream and purpose, but found once more a dream that had seemed lost long before. Some dreams had to be waited upon, and others had to change, but all with a purpose.
The End
By Rita Widmer
Disclaimer: I can only dream to own JAG.
AN: This is a sequel to "Lost Without a Dream." Thank you for all the feedback on that story. Enjoy! I live for feedback!
Spoilers: Hail and Farewell
Naval Academy
Mac felt her throat close up as she tried to tell Harm what the doctor had told her. Saying it aloud only made it more real for her, and Harm seemed almost hopeful that I might one day fulfill the baby deal with him.
Starting out with the easy words, she looked up at him and said, "I can't ask you to try to keep your promise. It's one promise that can never be fulfilled. Not, because of any lack of trying, but..." She tucked her head down once more afraid to continue.
"Sarah, you can tell me. Why can't it ever be fulfilled?"
"Because it would take a miracle. There's so little chance that I could ever carry a child inside me. Even if I got pregnant the baby probably wouldn't survive in the womb. I should have known that I was never meant to have children. The way men leave and die in my life, I probably kill my child too."
Harm stood up abruptly, and stood frozen in place. Mac watched him, and wondered what he was thinking. He abruptly turned around to face her. "First, you are not at fault for those deaths. You would never hurt any child. Need proof? Look what you did for Chloe and Mattie. If it wasn't for you, Mattie would never have come to live with me. You may not be able to have children the traditional way, but there is adoption. There are other ways to have a child."
"A single marine, yeah right, Harm. They would never give me a child in a million years, especially if they researched my background. It is rare even for a married military couple to adopt a child."
"Giving up without a fight?"
"The fight went out of me after Paraguay. I'm not meant to have a husband and family. It's not mine to have, and I've decided that I'm going to search for that real purpose."
"And how are you going to do that?"
"I'm going to leave JAG. The next couple of months as I prepare and heal from surgery, I'm going to go on a search for the place I belong. There has to be a job in the military or in the civilian world meant just for me."
"You...you can't do that!"
"Why not?"
"You told me I would never lose you. If you leave, I will lose you."
"Don't do that to me. I want to stay in this area, but I'm not going to let it hold me back if I have to leave. I'm not going to take this new job hunting with no consideration. Harm, I want you part of my life somehow. It just never could be anything more than friendship."
"Because you don't love me? If it's because you can't have children then we need to have a talk about that."
"My feelings don't matter in this case. I won't be the one that will deny you the chance of having children that is part you and part the woman you love. There is no way I'm going to keep you from that."
"I only want children with you. Adopted or carried by you, it doesn't make much of a difference to me. The baby deal had more to do with having you in my life, and showing my love for you than any need of carrying on the Rabb genes."
Mac's head was spinning. "Did you just say that you love me?"
"YES! I love you very much. All I want is you."
"I know a part of me still loves you. It's just so soon after I told Webb I loved him."
"Then stay at JAG, and let me be there for you. I'll show you how much you mean to me. One day you'll be able to know for sure your feelings."
"Why do I have to be at JAG to do that? We can't be at JAG together anyways if we want to pursue a romantic relationship in the future. I need to find my place in this world, Harm. Don't make me feel guilty for wanting to leave JAG."
"All right, but try to find a place near here."
"I'll try, Harm, I'll try. If we are meant to have a future then things will work themselves out."
"That's all I can ask. Come on, you look tired. Let me take you home."
She took his arm, and they walked into a future unknown to either. All Mac knew was that she was paving the path of her future with Harm at her side.
Harm's Apartment
3 Months Later
Mac rushed into Harm's apartment without knocking. She was so excited! Not only had she found a new job for her, but with it came a new realization of her feelings.
"Harm, where are you? I have exciting news," called Mac into the apartment.
"Just got out of the shower, marine. I didn't think you would want me to walk out without at least a towel on." Harm walked out with his boxers on instead of a towel.
"In all my excitement, I may not have noticed. Now sit down, I have something to tell you."
"What is it, Mac?"
"I found the job for me. I'll be stationed here in Washington at the Pentagon, but I'll have to do some traveling as needed."
"That's great, Mac," Harm said quietly.
"Then why don't you sound like it?"
"I'm just going to miss you at JAG. It won't be the same without you."
"I'll miss JAG, and working with you too. It's not the same there anymore without the Admiral, Harriet, Gunny and Tiner all gone, and I can no longer find the feeling of great purpose when I'm there. This new job will be just what I needed."
"I'm glad. You seem to be lost lately, and don't know where to go. I wanted to help, but only you could find the way."
"I know, and this new job helped me see something else. Once I stopped looking at trying to get over all the changes, I realized one thing will always stay the same. I love you, Harm!"
Mac watched as great joy came into Harm's whole being. Before she knew what was happening she found herself in his arms being spun around. She had found a new dream and purpose, but found once more a dream that had seemed lost long before. Some dreams had to be waited upon, and others had to change, but all with a purpose.
The End