Author's Note: This is a little different from my last few "The True Story of How…" Usually, the person telling the story says 'dude' and 'man' a lot. But since this one is about Pippin… I don't know about you, but I can't picture Pippin saying 'dude'. I thought him more of the rambling type. Thought I'd share that with y'all. Oh, and remember, say this in Billy's adorable Scottish accent! It makes the story better. Yay for Scottish accents! Anyway, enjoy! And be kind to the review button! Make it do its job!
Told by Peregrin Took.
So you want to know my story? You want to know what really happened? You came here to know how I found that palantir? Well if you didn't… what are you doing here? And if you did, then you're in luck because I'm about to tell you! So please, sit back, relax, and listen to my amazing story! And I promise to you this is how it actually happened!
Well, after Treebeard and the rest of the Ents finished off Isengard, Merry, that's my cousin, and I found some food! Which was really a good thing because I was starving. We hadn't properly eaten since Lothlorien, and that was a long time ago. I found these apples, and then Merry and I found this giant turkey! Or was it a chicken? Well I guess that doesn't matter. What matters is we ate it!
After we ate, Merry and I decided to smoke the pipe weed we had found. And it was the best thing that had happened in a very long time. The pipe weed was starting to get to us, and it was obvious because Merry started getting all giggly. Merry always gets giggly when he smokes too much. Although Merry says I smoke more than him. Therefore, making me gigglier than him. I suppose that's true. Pipe weed does make you giggle a lot.
Because of the pipe weed affecting our ability to think straight, we decided to climb up this rock wall. I don't remember how we got up there. All I remember isit involving apples, pocket lint, and a very small ladder. So after we made it up on this wall, we fell asleep for quite some time. Or did we pass out? I think Merry fell asleep, because I could hear him snoring. As for me, maybe it was a little bit of both.
The next thing I remember is waking up to Merry singing. Yes, Merry was singing. If you think all hobbits can sing well, then you haven't heard Merry sing after just waking up from smoking pipe weed for hours on end. It was not a pretty sound, or sight for that matter. I woke up when he hit a really high note. Thank goodness I don't remember the song.
I told Merry to stop singing, but he wouldn't. The only way he would stop singing is if I provided him with more pipe weed. The only reason why I went to get some more was because I wanted more pipe weed as well. So after safely jumping down from the wall, I waded through the water that was waist deep. It was slightly scary considering hobbits don't know how to swim.
During my search for more pipe weed, I encountered a chicken. A chicken! A real live chicken! Of course we have chickens at home, but this one amused me. I wish I could have followed it around and watched its chicken-y ways, but Merry's terrible singing reminded me of my task.
I found another barrel of pipe weed stashed away, grabbed it, and made my way back to the wall where Merry waited. I passed by the chicken again, gave it a goodbye cluck, and continued on my way. After devising a new way to scale the wall and safely make it back on top, I presented Merry with the pipe weed.
He thanked me, and then began lighting up his pipe again. I did likewise with my own. Things were getting pretty quiet, so I decided to strike up a conversation. "I feel like I'm back at the Green Dragon after a hard day's work!" Merry looked at me funny, and then said, "Only, you've never done a hard day's work."
With the effects of pipe weed once again setting in, we began giggling. Only, our giggles were stopped short when we saw people approaching. Merry stood up to greet the visitors properly, just like Treebeard told him to. At first, he told me to do it, but I told Treebeard I have a special talent to screw things up. He didn't want to risk scaring off some new allies because of my special talent. That's why Merry welcomed Gandalf and not me!
Then Gimli started fussing at us! For no proper reason! Okay, maybe he was a bit jealous because we got to smoke, and he didn't, but that's no reason to yell and twitch! Although it was kind of funny to see him twitch. After exchanging a few more words, Gandalf made Merry and I hop down from the wall. Now, you try to get two slightly giggly hobbits on pipe weed down from a wall. It's very difficult. But because Gandalf is Gandalf, he got us down.
Gandalf made me ride with Aragorn. Merry got to ride to Eeyore. I think that was his name. Oh no, no it wasn't. Merry says it was Eomer. Seeing as how Merry rode with him, I guess he's right. Come to think of it, his name was Eomer because I remember asking how Winnie the Pooh was. All he did was laugh at me. It kind of hurt me feelings…
Anyway, so I'm sitting on the horse with Aragorn. Since I have a short attention span, it was very hard for me to sit still on his horse. I was fighting the urge to hope down and conquer my fears of waist-deep water, but was stopped when Gandalf started talking to Treebeard. I was only remotely interested in their conversation, and lost interest very quickly.
I finally gave into my urge and hopped down from Aragorn's horse. I waded around for a couple of seconds, letting the water know who was boss. The water put up a good fight, but in the end, I was victorious. After I conquered my fear, I found something shiny in the water. But wouldn't you know the shiny object was underwater?
Being one that is attracted to shiny objects and wanting to grab them immediately, I came across a problem. I had a fear of the underwater world. Do you know what I had to do? I had to conquer that underwater fear to get to that shiny object! I waded away from the conversations of Gandalf and Treebeard, and dunked my head underwater, getting used to the feeling. I fought and fought and fought, and again, was victorious over my fear of underwater.
I waded back to where the shiny object was to realize it was still there. I was surprised Merry hadn't found it yet. He seems to have the same Shiny Object Syndrome as I. Otherwise known as SOS. I looked up at Merry to see what he was doing, and found that he had fallen asleep. He was sitting on Eomer's horse with his head tilted back and mouth wide open. I'm surprised he didn't catch any flies.
I shrugged it off and bravely stuck my head underwater yet again to retrieve the shiny object. Once I safely had it in my hands, I examined it. I was no expert, but I came to the conclusion that it was a big purple-black ball that was no longer shining. I wanted to make it glow again by shaking it, but Gandalf made me give it up.
And that was my encounter with the palantir. That's the truth! Don't believe any of those other stories of how I found it, because it is wrong! You heard it straight from the person why actually picked it up! ME! Although, sometimes I tend to think that somebody tossed it out the window from Saruman's tower. Why do I think that? I don't know…
I hope you enjoyed my story just as much as I enjoyed telling it. If you enjoyed my story, please let me know! How do you let me know? You click on that purple square that says REVIEW! Goodbye now!