"Clorinda Manoso?" I asked the Cuban woman who answered the door of a small house in Florida. "I'm Stephanie Plum. Ricardo sent me."
She glared at me for a moment. "Do you have a gun?"
"No," I said. "I couldn't carry it on the plane. Even if I could, I couldn't be sure that I would pack the bullets."
She reluctantly stepped aside and allowed me into her house.
"Momma, that car is still outside my window."
This was Alejandra. She was exactly how I imagined - tall for her age with long, straight black hair.
That car belonged to Greg. Even I knew to stay out of sight when doing surveillance.
"Alejandra, this is Stephanie. She's staying with us for a while."
"Dad sent you, didn't he?"
I nodded.
"Is he angry? He didn't seem too pleased-"
"Go to your room, Alej. I want to talk to Stephanie."
Alejandra pouted, but when to her room.
"Ric sent you to keep on eye on Alej? I cannot believe this has happened. My whole world fell apart for those three days she was gone."
"I know what you mean."
"This was all Ric's fault." My comment registered to her. "Do you have kids?"
"No." I have a hamster. "My sister has three girls."
"Then how can you possibly know how I feel?"
"My grandmother was abducted. And don't you dare talk about Ranger like that," I snapped. The Plum anger had broken free. "Ranger saved my grandmother and he saved your daughter! He loves Alejandra.
"He has had his men watching the house. He has done everything he can to keep her safe. So don't you dare talk about him like that in front of me ever again!"
Clorinda stared at me for a moment, then smiled. I think I just scored some points thanks to the Plum family temper.
I followed Alejandra down the stairs one morning. The girl was a ball of energy. She paused at the landing and jumped down the remaining stairs.
She was as graceful as her father. I on the other hand, had all the grace of a warthog. I fell down the stairs that Alejandra had just jumped.
She smiled the same two hundred watt smile. "You're not very good at this, are you?"
I grimaced at her. I was glad Jeanne Ellen was taking over.
An hour later, Clorinda, Alejandra and I were sitting over a coke at the local coffee shop. After a bit of convincing, Alejandra managed to score a couple of dollars off Clorinda to buy a cake.
I watched her walk up to the counter and order. She was just about to pay, when a woman grasped her shoulder.
I was up, and making my way across the room as quickly and gracefully as I could. I grabbed the woman's arm and yanked her roughly.
"What?" she asked. "She dropped some money. I was just giving it back to her."
I looked at Alejandra and she nodded. I wanted to get out of there. I hated all the people. It was too hard to keep an eye on Alejandra.
Not long after my little… incident, we were on our way back to Clorinda's house when my phone rang. It was Jeanne Ellen. I immediately bristled.
"Where are you? I'm outside the house."
"We're on our way now. We won't be long." I hung up on her with a contented sigh.
Five minutes later, we were back at he house, waiting for Jeanne Ellen to cross the road.
Alejandra glared at her.
"Hi, Alejandra. I'm Jeanne Ellen. Your father sent me to keep an eye on you. He wants me to make sure you don't get into any trouble."
She was trying to be nice, but it wasn't working.
Clorinda stepped in, and said something in Spanish. Alejandra sighed and then nodded.
***
The next day I arrived back at the airport. My CR-V was exactly where I left it. There was only one problem. There was nothing left. Everything, and I mean everything had been stripped. The doors, the engine, the seats, the tyres were gone. They even took the deodorant I kept in the glove box.
I pulled out my phone and stared at the screen for a moment, as if that would help me decide whom to call. Joe or Ranger. I decided Ranger would be the best option.
"Yo, Babe."
I was too tired to waste time with pleasantries. "Where are you?"
"What's the problem?"
"My car has been stripped. I have no way of getting home." I suppose I could have called my mother, or Val or a cab.
"Be there soon."
I sang Help from my Friends while I waited for Ranger. Fortunately, he arrived a few minutes later, so I only sang the chorus about ten times.
"Damn," he said when he saw the remains of my car.
I nodded as I flopped ungracefully into the passenger seat. Ranger didn't speak the whole journey. For once, I was actually glad he was in his zone. As we neared my apartment, I could tell that he wanted to talk.
"Did you want to come up?" I don't know why I bothered to ask. Of course the answer would be yes.
I slipped the key into my lock and opened the door. I flipped the light on and swore.
"What are you doing here, Joe?" I really didn't want Ranger and Joe to get into a fight. Not now, I was too tired.
"I haven't heard from you in a week."
I sighed. I turned around to say something to Ranger, but he was gone. I dropped my bag on the floor and turned back to Joe.
"Where have you been? You haven't been shacked up with him have you?"
"No, I haven't been with Ranger," I said as I sauntered up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck. "I've been with some friends."
"Did you need space? From me?"
Damn! My little distraction wasn't working. I nodded. It wasn't exactly the truth, but then, it wasn't exactly a lie. I really don't think I'm cut out to be a wife or mother. I don't really mind the idea of having Joe come home after work, sitting down to dinner and then going to bed. But I can't see myself as a mother. I can't stand the thought of being the perfect Burg wife who cooks and cleans and looks after the kids.
"This isn't going to work, is it?"
I really didn't know what to say. I think I love him; I just don't want the confinement that comes with marriage. Now that I think about it, he still doesn't approve of being a bounty hunter. Maybe I should change professions. Even Ranger seems to think I'm not really suited to the job.
While I was musing, Joe made his was to the door. He paused and turned around.
"Bye, cupcake."
I let him go.
When I arrived at the office the next morning, there was a stack of FTA folders sitting on Connie's desk. I grabbed the lot of them and sat down on the chair in the corner while I read them.
"Where've you been, girl?" Lula asked, hands on hips. "You haven't returned any of my calls."
"I was doing a job for Ranger."
"What kind of job?" Connie asked as she ran from her desk to stand next to Lula.
"He was distracted all of last week. I bet I know why."
"Why?" I asked without glancing up from the folders. I hadn't slept well last night. My brain wasn't functioning properly.
"Because you spent every night screwing him, didn't you? You screwed Ranger from dusk till dawn!"
"Connie, I just came in to pick up my check."
I looked up and saw Ranger leaning against the desk, arms crossed, smirking at me.
Connie rushed back to the desk to fill out the check while Lula pretended to look busy, filing away the new FTA folders.
Once he got the check, Ranger made his way to where I was sitting watching the scene with a little bit of amusement. He leant down and whispered in my ear. Then, he was gone.
Thirty minutes later, as arranged, I wandered into Shorty's, Ranger's bar. I found him sitting at his usual table, keeping his eyes on the door.
He didn't even wait for me to get settled before he started firing questions. Did anything out of the ordinary happen? How is Alejandra? How pissed is Clorinda? Did anyone visit while you were there?
About an hour later, we left. I was about to flag down a cab, not wanting to annoy Ranger when John Lang, my insurance broker got out of his car.
"Mr Lang!" He didn't look too happy to see me. "Mr Lang, I would like to submit some forms for a claim."
"What happened this time?"
"My car was stripped bare while I was away on vacation."
Amazingly enough, he took the forms. "You're a huge risk. I've lost count of the number of claims you've posted with us in the last few years." He did have a point. "After your last claim, we decided it would be best to make a few alterations."
"What do you mean alterations? Do you mean my car isn't fucking covered?"
"You're a danger to society. So, no, there will be no money for a new car." He folded the paper in half, and then ripped it. He ripped it over and over again.
"This is exactly why females your age have to pay such a lot for insurance. You're a reckless bunch who only thinks about makeup and shoes." He mumbled something under his breath.
I was about to ask what he had just said, when Ranger stepped forward. "I would prefer that you didn't refer to Ms Plum like that." He had obviously heard Lang.
"And you would be?" Lang asked as he took in Ranger's black boots, cargos and shirt.
"Ranger," he said as he offered his hand. If I had been Ranger, I would have shot the bastard in the head.
Speaking of shooting bastards in the head, he'd already done that. Eddie Abruzzi was harassing me and long story short, Ranger hunted him down and killed him. That was the only time Joe's ever approved of Ranger's methods.
It's kind of nice having Ranger around. While Joe's possessive, Ranger's protective of me. I'm not whether it's because I'm hopeless at apprehending or because if he has a thing for me. I think he loves seeing a damsel in distress.
I had missed the whole conversation. I really had to stop thinking. Ranger guided me over to his Beemer with a hand at the small of the back.
"I'll give him until the end of the week."
"Then what?" I had to ask.
"Then I'll give you one of my cars."
Ranger dropped me back at the office and I wandered in, throwing a bag of cookies on Connie's desk for her and Lula.
"Feel like driving me to an FTA's place?" I asked Lula.
"Sure. Vinnie's been bad moody all day. He wasn't happy when you came back after being AWOL for a week."
I shrugged and followed Lula out the door to her Firebird.
We headed over to Edwards' apartment. It was an ugly block painted pink and blue. What kind of person paints a building pink?
I marched up to his door, knocked and covered the eyehole with my hand. I'd heard that security guards use black plastic, but I think my hand works just as well.
"What do you want?" Edwards snapped as appeared in the doorway in a cloud of cigarette smoke.
"Richard Edwards? I'm Stephanie Plum. I've been assigned to reschedule your court date."
"Is that so?" he sneered at me as he dropped ash onto our shoes.
"You skinny little bastard," Lula screamed as she lunged forward.
"Do you have any idea how expensive these shoes are?"
Edwards shrugged as he started up another cigarette. "I'm not going with you to reschedule and I'm definitely not going to prison." He shut the door in my face.
I glanced at Lula who started to pound on the door.
"Fuck off!" he yelled through the door.
Lula kept pounding.
Ten minutes later, Carl and his partner Big Dog wandered up the stairs.
"Shit, Steph!"
"We've had some complaints about a couple disturbing the peace. You wouldn't know anything about that would you?" Big Dog asked with a smile.
"My FTA's in there." I sounded like a seven-year-old.
"Come back another day," Carl ordered as he pushed me towards the stairs.
Since my car was MIA, I was spending more of my time at the office. Vinnie was out at lunch when Ranger came in with another body receipt.
He was examining a couple of folders when his phone rang.
"What's up, Jeanne Ellen?"
We all stopped breathing so we could hear the conversation.
"It's too dangerous in Miami. There have been five drive-bys in the last two weeks. Each time getting closer to Clorinda's place. Ranger, they need to be relocated."
"Pack their bags and book a flight here."
Ranger was then off. I managed to catch up with him just before he started his Bronco. So, there I was standing on the sidewalk leaning in the window talking to him, looking like a slut. I stepped away from the car and watched as Ranger drove off.
I had a prickly sensation running down my neck. I looked up and saw Morelli across the road. He was giving me one of those you're pond scum looks that he had obviously learnt from his mother.
I sighed and went back inside.
"I need shoes."
Lula looked down at my feet. Yes, I was wearing shoes. Then she smiled. "Well let's get going, girl. The shops are still open!"
"But what about the filing?" I asked, looking at a pile of folders on the desk. You see, if I said nothing at all and let Lula take me shopping, it would be my fault. But by pointing out that she had work to do, I shifted the blame.
"I'll do them tomorrow. Not like they're going anywhere," she said with a wave of her hand as she grabbed her handbag.
We got into her car and Lula took off.
"So what happened? I saw you out at the car with Ranger."
"I broke up with Joe."
"Already knew that. What's new?"
"He saw me with Ranger and gave me one of the classic pond looks."
"Hmm. What about Ranger?"
I shrugged and looked out the window, not wanting to talk. I saw people walking along the road with shopping bags and coffee cups. None of this really registered.
"Hey, it's Richard Edwards," I cried. How could I not have noticed the idiot who dropped ash on my shoes?
"It is too. Did you want to go after him?"
I stopped to think about it for a second. I could buy shoes or I could run down the street and possibly get shot at.
"Nah. I need shoes more than food."