Homework
By Emmylou (writing in the voice on Ron Weasley)
Discliamer, the characters, nor the except from Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire belong to me. They all belong to JK Rowling.
Summary; Ever wanted to take a peek at some of the homework set in the book? Here is your chance to look at Ron's second divination homework in which he makes up his predictions.
A/N: Thought I'd try something a little different.
'Harry and Ron were deeply amused when Professor Trelawney told them that they had receive top marks for their homework in their next Divination class. She read out large potions of their predictions, commending them for their unflinching acceptance of the horrors in store for them – but they were less amused when they asked them to do the same thing for the month after next; they were both running out of ideas for catastrophes.'
Predictions, (again) by Ron Weasley.
1 I shall drown in the bath. something which has Neptune's watery fingerprints all over it.
2 On Monday I shall come down with a tragic disease and will die a horrible disfiguring death, this is because of the sweeping shadow of Neptune set to horribly disrupt my month and cause general multiple deaths.
3 On Tuesday I will break my jaw and be unable to eat for a month.
4 On Wednesday I will have a fight with my friends and throw myself off the north tower to my early horrible death, because Neptune clashes horribly with Venus.
5 Today I will win a thousand galleons and then accidentally drop it in the lake.
6 Friday I will collapse and fall into a coma from lack of sleep caused by too much homework. This is because of a nasty incident with a Scorpio (and I checked- the teacher in question is a Scorpio)
7 Saturday I will choke Dean for making too much noise when I want to sleep. Because Mars is in an unlucky position in correlation to my astrological sign.
8 Sunday I will trip and fall down the great stairs where no one will find me for hours except Peeves who will spend the entire time dancing around my head blowing raspberries.
9 I will break my neck in seven places when I get hit by a hammer.
10 Tuesday I will loose my voice and therefore I, I cannot scream when I get stabbed in the heart by a teacher who the signs tell me their name begins with 'SN' sound.
11 I will get strangled in Herbolloagy by a very viscous African boa disguised a Mowgli plant.
12 I will have a horrific fight with a female friend and she will hit me over the head with an enormous book of some type. This is most likely in connection with that unlucky clash of Venus and Mars.
13 Friday- today I shall get savaged by a drooling dog.
14 Moody tries to perform the imperio curse on me only I mishear when he tells me to 'shake my head' and think he says 'drop dead' this obviously has something to do with the natural unluckiness of the thirteenth.
15 Today I will sit around and be a generally evil and malevolent person who will burden m family and friends for all eternity...hmm, this horoscope seems to have something against Geminis. Is that normal?
16 Today I will kill someone will blonde hair and be sent to Azkaban with a smile on my face. This seems to have something to do with Pluto, but it could be a bit of chocolate that melted on my parchment, still, we can dream.
17 A brown haired girl will be my downfall on Tuesday the 16th mercury seems to be borrowing things without asking the sun. Perhaps the sun will get bashed with Hogwarts: a history too.
18 A dark haired friend with green eyes will die horribly...but alas it looks as though you already beat me to figure that one out. You're inner eye is probably clearer. Still, it's not going to be a good day. Should probably keep wand around, just in case and everything.
19 I will sit around and do absolutely nothing. Later I shall be crushed by an ever-bashing Frisbee thrown by a red haired person with an evil twin complex.
20 Friday, my enjoyment of the nice whether will be spoiled by an animal with an almost squid like appearance...no wait, two people with names that sounds like 'mitts ant bag' and 'Head-hoggy boil' there may be a slight squid like appearance to them but that will fade when mars intervenes (or until I discover something uglier)
21 I will be decapitated (horribly, with knife).
22 I will be killed by a rampaging house-elf holding a sock, this, once again has Venus' influence written all over it.
23 Will talk once to often and will be permanently transfigured into a toad by Prof. McGonagall. Will spend rest of life being chased by Trevor.
24 Tues. will die mysterious death after seeing a grim.
25 Saturn thwarts my progress when a 100% score on test turns out to be Hermione's paper and not mine.
26 Will be crushed by stampeding Quidditch fans when Canons player (the beater- Gilterbunk Hettywag) sees a grim of his own and drops dead, causing widespread mourning and panic.
27 Friday. Unable to enjoy sunshine when Jupiter causes me to contract an untreatable form of hay fever and thus I am banished to my room until winter.
28 A care of magical creatures lesson goes badly. I get burnt, stung, and blood sucked all at once.
29 Moody shouts 'Constant Vigilance!' at dinner and I choke on a gherkin in the resulting confusion and considering I don't like gherkins it is certainly an unfortunate way to snuff it. Incidentally there will be no stars that night.
30 I will be given a lot of homework by someone whos lesson I dislike.
Oh, excellent work again Mr. Weasley. Seven points to Gryffindor. Yourself and Mr. Potter really do seem to be excelling in Divination recently. Alas, I doubt that this trend will continue due to the dreadful shadow that stalks the unfortunate boy.
S. Trewlawney.
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