APRIL BEATLES
Chapter 2/7: "You've Got To Hide Your Love Away"
Spoilers & Summary: See ch. 1
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I can't believe it. I just can't believe it. She walked out on me. I laid my heart on the line, and she steam-rolled it. I shake my head, as if trying to shake off a trance, and turn to face the wall, rubbing my hands over my face to ward off the oncoming emotions.
Here I stand head-in-hand, turn my face to the wall
"I gotta go..." That's all I get? After everything we've been through, that's all I get? I spin to face the door, double-checking for her presence... knowing that her being there would be wishful thinking, but I do it anyway. And she's still not there.
If she's gone I can't go on, feeling two foot small
I sigh and head out into the hallway, glancing both ways for her. When I turn my head to the right, I see the door to the parking lot. My head screams at me that that's where she is. And when I turn my head to the left, I see my three CSIs, just staring at me warily. Did they see the way Catherine rushed out of here? That look of utter... panic, maybe?...on her face. Do they know what happened?
Everywhere people stare, each and every day
No, they couldn't possibly. If they did, they'd probably be laughing their asses off at me right now, just for being so stupid. They'd say, "Gris, why the hell did you do that?" or "You know, you probably shouldn't have done that." Yes, I know... I know too well that I should've just kept my mouth shut.
I can see them laugh at me, and I hear them say, 'Hey, you've got to hide your love away'
I should've just kept everything inside... hidden it away. If I had, maybe I'd still have a best friend.
Hey, you've got to hide your love away
How am I gonna be able to face her, now? Everytime I see her, she's gonna have that same look on her face. The pity... the sadness, and... anger? Was that the other thing that was in her eyes? I can't be sure. Everything happened so fast. Damn me. I just can't win.
How can I even try, I can never win
And I know she's seeing somebody... that's part of what was so stupid about this whole thing. What if I have to meet him? What if she brings him by the lab, and they both look at me with pity in their eyes? How am I gonna be able to face them? I can't... especially now. Now that I'm just this broken, distorted shadow of the man I wanted to be.
Hearing them, seeing them, in the state I'm in
And I blame Catherine for all this. Yeah, that's the way to go. I'll blame Catherine. It sort of IS her fault, in a way. She and I always used to have these really deep discussions about love... and fate and destiny. She always said that, "True love always finds a way." So, like an idiot, I bought that idea... and tried to prove its truth today. But she was so very wrong.
How could she say to me 'Love will find a way'
Now here I am, sure to become the laughing stock of the crime lab in a matter of minutes... and all because she said it would work out. I see Greg coming towards me, waving a sheet of paper in his hand, a big stupid grin on his face.
Gather 'round all you clowns, let me hear you say, 'Hey, you've got to hide your love away'
Oh, no. Did HE see Catherine run out of here, too? Shit. If HE knows what's going on, the entire state of Nevada will soon find out. Fine, then. Let the humiliation begin.
Hey, you've got to hide your love away
Maybe it would be best to go through the humiliation now. Maybe... if their laughing and taunting breaks me enough... it won't hurt so bad when I have to see Catherine again.
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CONTINUED IN CHAPTER THREE: "I'm Looking Through You"