Title: The Greatest Man I Never Knew
Rating: PG
Spoilers: "Meridian" Season Five
Season: Between five and six - Daniel is dead but Jonas isn't around yet
Summary: How do you tell someone you love them when it's too late? You find them.
Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to Stargate SG-1 and I mean no infringement by using the characters, I'm just writing to entertain, so please don't sue me. I don't own any rights to "The Greatest Man I Never Knew" sung by Reba McEntire either. I only own the plot.
Author's Note: Well folks, here's part two. I decided this would be a two part-er to make more sense in terms of the song lyrics. It does have a "happy" ending though. Please read and review!
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Eleven months, two days and three hours have gone by since we buried Jack. I feel like my body has felt every tick of a second since then. I feel so much older than I did - but death will do that to a person. I've become much more reserved and much less excited about my work. Teal'c doesn't talk to anyone but me now - of course he talks to General Hammond but only if directly addressed.
Sure enough two new team members have been assigned to SG-1, under my command. Teal'c and I have made sure to watch out for them, cover their backs as they cover ours but that's as far as it goes. We don't socialize outside of missions or the briefing room, Teal'c and I eat in the commissary alone - there is no friendship. I don't think Teal'c or I can handle it if someone else close to us dies.
General Hammond gives us a lot of downtime - I guess he expects Teal'c and I to finally finish our grieving and turn back into the people we were before Jack's death - but it hasn't happened. It won't.
Everyday after work I go though the same routine. I drive home, walk inside my empty, echoing house and sit on the couch. The day just sucks what little energy I have left from me everyday.
Today I get up after a little while and turn on the stereo before sitting back down. I don't do this all of the time but it has become a nice comfort blanket when things just got too quiet. Today the radio kicks in right in the middle of a song.
Then the days turned into years
And the memories to black and white
He grew cold like an old winter wind
Blowing across my life...
I can hardly believe my ears - in all of this time I haven't heard this song since the day we buried the box that Jack is supposed to be in. It sounds as if it picked up right where I turned it off last time.
The days have turned - into months and now nearly a year. I've grasped onto all of my memories of Jack, his grin, his laugh, his ability to make me laugh...that little scar on his eyebrow, its like a picture that you handle too many times, it begins to rip and tear - my memories do that now. I don't want them too - I don't want to really lose Jack but slowly it's happening. During that mission - Jack was especially cold to Teal'c and I. We had just recently lost Daniel, we all took that hard, and he was still grieving. Teal'c and I understood that. None of us expected that ambush...
The greatest words I never heard
I guess I'll never hear
The man I thought would never die
S'been dead almost a year
He was good at business
But there was business left to do
He never said he loved me
Guess he thought I knew
Once again my face is covered in tears. Who am I kidding? I knew...I know that Jack loved me. But he never said those words. To quote him, "I care about her...a lot more than I'm supposed too." He cared - I cared...and in the time between when he said that and when he died in my arms, a lot had happened. Neither of us just cared anymore - it was a full-blown love. But now I'm slowly approaching the one-year anniversary of his death. I wouldn't really call it an anniversary but I'm at a lost for words. Jack was great at what he did. He was a hero. And there were still plenty of opportunities for him to continue to be that hero. He never said he loved me...guess he thought I knew. That or he thought he had more time to tell me...but he didn't. I'm alone now.
Suddenly a deep gurgle escapes my throat and I barely have time to lean over the couch before I throw up. When I finally finish, I lean back; I can't live like this anymore. I stare up at my ceiling and start screaming.
"DANIEL!"
I scream until I barely have a voice left, my throat was already scratched from the dry heaves but I continued to scream anyway - Daniel is up there somewhere - like Jack - and he can hear me. I know he can.
"Sam, I'm here."
I turn around quickly and sure enough Daniel is standing behind my couch, as real looking as you or me.
"Daniel?"
My voice is barely a whisper but he nods nonetheless.
"It's me Sam. I heard you call."
My eyes are watering up again as I begin to squeak out my request.
"Daniel...I need you to take me."
Daniel slightly tilts his head sideways, like a confused dog would.
"Take you where Sam?"
I let out a small, harsh laugh.
"With you. Up there."
I point up at my ceiling and Daniel follows my finger - he knows what I'm talking about. He turns back to me shaking his head.
"No Sam, I can't do that."
My voice suddenly turns angry.
"Don't tell me what you can or cannot do! I can't go on Daniel...I'm dying."
He looks at me strangely then - like he knows for a fact that I'm not, so I continue.
"I'm dying Daniel. My heart...my mind...my soul. I can't survive like this. I need to be with him. Where we can finally be together."
Daniel suddenly shakes his head again.
"Sam you don't understand - when you ascend you change. You no longer carry with you the feelings you once did - you feel so much more that you can no longer focus on the things that made you...well you when you were alive."
I find myself shaking my head.
"Daniel are you telling me that Jack doesn't still have feelings for me? That he doesn't still think about me? That he doesn't miss me?"
Daniel suddenly falls silent. I know that look - I'm right.
"I know he does Daniel. He must feel like I do. He can't be too much help to the universe in the state he's in, not if it's anything like mine."
Daniel's eye contact flutters and I know I'm right...I just know it.
"What about Teal'c? Are you just going to leave him?"
I hadn't thought of that. I ache so badly to finally be standing in front of Jack - so badly to confess my feelings - to be with him - that I hadn't thought of the only person that's kept me going as far as I have.
"I...I..."
I can't find the words. Damn it! I get everything figured out and then this happens! How can I choose? Teal'c is going to outlive me - I'll never really get a chance to be with Jack. Suddenly Daniel tilts his head over slightly, like he can hear something I can't, when my phone rings.
"Daniel please don't leave...not yet."
Daniel nods as I run for the phone in the kitchen.
"Hello?"
The voice that comes over the other end surprises me - it's Teal'c.
"Major Carter. I've called to tell you that I wish to go back home. I want to be with my son. I cannot continue on at the SGC. General Hammond has agreed for other Jaffa to come here and work but I cannot take the deal without consulting with you first."
I feel my voice catch in my throat. It takes me a moment but finally I can answer.
"That's fine Teal'c. I'm moving on too. Be safe, and kiss Rya'c for me."
I can hear a sigh of relief come though the receiver.
"I will Major Carter. It has been an honor."
I feel myself suddenly smile - my first in nearly a year.
"It has been an honor with you as well."
Teal'c and I simultaneously hang up then, I can't feel my body again. It's not that I've felt it too much in the past year - the numbness of Jack's death still hasn't faded from me but this numbness is different. I know I can go now. I turn back to the living room to find Daniel still standing there. He looks at me with knowing eyes - he knows what just happened.
"I want to go Daniel."
He sighs and looks at me. He knows this is what I want. I can still see my family, Mark and the kids and my dad...the house will be taken care of - I've left it in Cassie's name...and the SGC will understand - besides they've been enjoying having team members ascended, it gives them an advantage that they've been using. Daniel reaches out and I place my hand in his. One moment I'm looking into his dark, cobalt eyes through my bright, sky eyes and the next I'm looking into his beautiful eyes though new eyes - I'm not exactly sure how they're new but I know I'm different. The pain...the pain that I've had for the past year - for my entire life - it's gone now. I feel nothing but...I don't know, there isn't a word to describe it. I feel as though I'm made of light - pure, unadulterated light. Daniel smiles at me and I smile back.
"Lets go home Sam."
I nod and suddenly we're somewhere else - we're surrounded by light, by living light. I look around in amazement - it's the others - the other ascended. I see Oma Desala, I see Shifu, I see Orlin...they're all smiling at me, but there are thousands, no, trillions of others - like a living sea. I turn around slowly, taking in everything when suddenly I see him, Jack standing in the crowd. He has tears on his face but he's wearing a smile too. Suddenly I feel tears run down my cheeks and a smile upon my lips. We move to one another and suddenly we're in each other's arms. We aren't just wisps of light but real, corporal beings. Holding each other. He leans over and kisses me and I whole heartily kiss back. Finally we part - since neither of us needs oxygen we really only part to see the other one again - to make sure they're real.
"Sam...what are you doing here?"
Jack's voice hasn't changed but he's whispering, like he's afraid that I'll disappear if he talks too loud. I lean in and kiss him until he kisses me back - I remind him that I'm real. Finally I pull back and stare into his beautiful face - it isn't being ascended that makes him beautiful, he's always been that way for me.
"Now nothing can stand in our way - no regulations...no amount of time. We can be together forever."
Jack searches my face as if he thinks I'm just a dream before he kisses me again. Finally we part and he squeezes me.
"I've never wanted anything less."
I can feel tears running down my cheeks again as I hold onto him like there were nothing left.
"Me either."
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After Thought: So? Was it the ending you were expecting? It's still a pretty romantic ending (at least so I think) but what do you think? Please review!
Rating: PG
Spoilers: "Meridian" Season Five
Season: Between five and six - Daniel is dead but Jonas isn't around yet
Summary: How do you tell someone you love them when it's too late? You find them.
Disclaimer: I don't own any rights to Stargate SG-1 and I mean no infringement by using the characters, I'm just writing to entertain, so please don't sue me. I don't own any rights to "The Greatest Man I Never Knew" sung by Reba McEntire either. I only own the plot.
Author's Note: Well folks, here's part two. I decided this would be a two part-er to make more sense in terms of the song lyrics. It does have a "happy" ending though. Please read and review!
-----------------
Eleven months, two days and three hours have gone by since we buried Jack. I feel like my body has felt every tick of a second since then. I feel so much older than I did - but death will do that to a person. I've become much more reserved and much less excited about my work. Teal'c doesn't talk to anyone but me now - of course he talks to General Hammond but only if directly addressed.
Sure enough two new team members have been assigned to SG-1, under my command. Teal'c and I have made sure to watch out for them, cover their backs as they cover ours but that's as far as it goes. We don't socialize outside of missions or the briefing room, Teal'c and I eat in the commissary alone - there is no friendship. I don't think Teal'c or I can handle it if someone else close to us dies.
General Hammond gives us a lot of downtime - I guess he expects Teal'c and I to finally finish our grieving and turn back into the people we were before Jack's death - but it hasn't happened. It won't.
Everyday after work I go though the same routine. I drive home, walk inside my empty, echoing house and sit on the couch. The day just sucks what little energy I have left from me everyday.
Today I get up after a little while and turn on the stereo before sitting back down. I don't do this all of the time but it has become a nice comfort blanket when things just got too quiet. Today the radio kicks in right in the middle of a song.
Then the days turned into years
And the memories to black and white
He grew cold like an old winter wind
Blowing across my life...
I can hardly believe my ears - in all of this time I haven't heard this song since the day we buried the box that Jack is supposed to be in. It sounds as if it picked up right where I turned it off last time.
The days have turned - into months and now nearly a year. I've grasped onto all of my memories of Jack, his grin, his laugh, his ability to make me laugh...that little scar on his eyebrow, its like a picture that you handle too many times, it begins to rip and tear - my memories do that now. I don't want them too - I don't want to really lose Jack but slowly it's happening. During that mission - Jack was especially cold to Teal'c and I. We had just recently lost Daniel, we all took that hard, and he was still grieving. Teal'c and I understood that. None of us expected that ambush...
The greatest words I never heard
I guess I'll never hear
The man I thought would never die
S'been dead almost a year
He was good at business
But there was business left to do
He never said he loved me
Guess he thought I knew
Once again my face is covered in tears. Who am I kidding? I knew...I know that Jack loved me. But he never said those words. To quote him, "I care about her...a lot more than I'm supposed too." He cared - I cared...and in the time between when he said that and when he died in my arms, a lot had happened. Neither of us just cared anymore - it was a full-blown love. But now I'm slowly approaching the one-year anniversary of his death. I wouldn't really call it an anniversary but I'm at a lost for words. Jack was great at what he did. He was a hero. And there were still plenty of opportunities for him to continue to be that hero. He never said he loved me...guess he thought I knew. That or he thought he had more time to tell me...but he didn't. I'm alone now.
Suddenly a deep gurgle escapes my throat and I barely have time to lean over the couch before I throw up. When I finally finish, I lean back; I can't live like this anymore. I stare up at my ceiling and start screaming.
"DANIEL!"
I scream until I barely have a voice left, my throat was already scratched from the dry heaves but I continued to scream anyway - Daniel is up there somewhere - like Jack - and he can hear me. I know he can.
"Sam, I'm here."
I turn around quickly and sure enough Daniel is standing behind my couch, as real looking as you or me.
"Daniel?"
My voice is barely a whisper but he nods nonetheless.
"It's me Sam. I heard you call."
My eyes are watering up again as I begin to squeak out my request.
"Daniel...I need you to take me."
Daniel slightly tilts his head sideways, like a confused dog would.
"Take you where Sam?"
I let out a small, harsh laugh.
"With you. Up there."
I point up at my ceiling and Daniel follows my finger - he knows what I'm talking about. He turns back to me shaking his head.
"No Sam, I can't do that."
My voice suddenly turns angry.
"Don't tell me what you can or cannot do! I can't go on Daniel...I'm dying."
He looks at me strangely then - like he knows for a fact that I'm not, so I continue.
"I'm dying Daniel. My heart...my mind...my soul. I can't survive like this. I need to be with him. Where we can finally be together."
Daniel suddenly shakes his head again.
"Sam you don't understand - when you ascend you change. You no longer carry with you the feelings you once did - you feel so much more that you can no longer focus on the things that made you...well you when you were alive."
I find myself shaking my head.
"Daniel are you telling me that Jack doesn't still have feelings for me? That he doesn't still think about me? That he doesn't miss me?"
Daniel suddenly falls silent. I know that look - I'm right.
"I know he does Daniel. He must feel like I do. He can't be too much help to the universe in the state he's in, not if it's anything like mine."
Daniel's eye contact flutters and I know I'm right...I just know it.
"What about Teal'c? Are you just going to leave him?"
I hadn't thought of that. I ache so badly to finally be standing in front of Jack - so badly to confess my feelings - to be with him - that I hadn't thought of the only person that's kept me going as far as I have.
"I...I..."
I can't find the words. Damn it! I get everything figured out and then this happens! How can I choose? Teal'c is going to outlive me - I'll never really get a chance to be with Jack. Suddenly Daniel tilts his head over slightly, like he can hear something I can't, when my phone rings.
"Daniel please don't leave...not yet."
Daniel nods as I run for the phone in the kitchen.
"Hello?"
The voice that comes over the other end surprises me - it's Teal'c.
"Major Carter. I've called to tell you that I wish to go back home. I want to be with my son. I cannot continue on at the SGC. General Hammond has agreed for other Jaffa to come here and work but I cannot take the deal without consulting with you first."
I feel my voice catch in my throat. It takes me a moment but finally I can answer.
"That's fine Teal'c. I'm moving on too. Be safe, and kiss Rya'c for me."
I can hear a sigh of relief come though the receiver.
"I will Major Carter. It has been an honor."
I feel myself suddenly smile - my first in nearly a year.
"It has been an honor with you as well."
Teal'c and I simultaneously hang up then, I can't feel my body again. It's not that I've felt it too much in the past year - the numbness of Jack's death still hasn't faded from me but this numbness is different. I know I can go now. I turn back to the living room to find Daniel still standing there. He looks at me with knowing eyes - he knows what just happened.
"I want to go Daniel."
He sighs and looks at me. He knows this is what I want. I can still see my family, Mark and the kids and my dad...the house will be taken care of - I've left it in Cassie's name...and the SGC will understand - besides they've been enjoying having team members ascended, it gives them an advantage that they've been using. Daniel reaches out and I place my hand in his. One moment I'm looking into his dark, cobalt eyes through my bright, sky eyes and the next I'm looking into his beautiful eyes though new eyes - I'm not exactly sure how they're new but I know I'm different. The pain...the pain that I've had for the past year - for my entire life - it's gone now. I feel nothing but...I don't know, there isn't a word to describe it. I feel as though I'm made of light - pure, unadulterated light. Daniel smiles at me and I smile back.
"Lets go home Sam."
I nod and suddenly we're somewhere else - we're surrounded by light, by living light. I look around in amazement - it's the others - the other ascended. I see Oma Desala, I see Shifu, I see Orlin...they're all smiling at me, but there are thousands, no, trillions of others - like a living sea. I turn around slowly, taking in everything when suddenly I see him, Jack standing in the crowd. He has tears on his face but he's wearing a smile too. Suddenly I feel tears run down my cheeks and a smile upon my lips. We move to one another and suddenly we're in each other's arms. We aren't just wisps of light but real, corporal beings. Holding each other. He leans over and kisses me and I whole heartily kiss back. Finally we part - since neither of us needs oxygen we really only part to see the other one again - to make sure they're real.
"Sam...what are you doing here?"
Jack's voice hasn't changed but he's whispering, like he's afraid that I'll disappear if he talks too loud. I lean in and kiss him until he kisses me back - I remind him that I'm real. Finally I pull back and stare into his beautiful face - it isn't being ascended that makes him beautiful, he's always been that way for me.
"Now nothing can stand in our way - no regulations...no amount of time. We can be together forever."
Jack searches my face as if he thinks I'm just a dream before he kisses me again. Finally we part and he squeezes me.
"I've never wanted anything less."
I can feel tears running down my cheeks again as I hold onto him like there were nothing left.
"Me either."
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After Thought: So? Was it the ending you were expecting? It's still a pretty romantic ending (at least so I think) but what do you think? Please review!