Kurt fidgeted nervously, perching on the edge of his seat, and straightening his color. From the pilot's seat, Ororo Monroe smiled at him encouragingly. "Kurt, relax." She said gently.
"I'm trying." He said plaintively. "But I feel as if my tail is in knots."
"You'll be fine. Just be your usual, charming self." She said.
It's not me I'm worried about, Kurt thought. What if all I felt for her was an illusion? What if I am overcome by those urges again? What if I feel nothing for her at all beyond a simple friendship? What if she is in love with me, and I am in love with her? Truly?
There was a gentle bump as the Blackbird touched down, in the cover of a thick fog bank. They'd landed in a park just a block away from where Morgan was staying now, and Kurt was going to walk the distance to pick her up. He made a careful check to make sure that his image inducer was on and functioning properly, and then grinned at Ororo. "Wish me luck!"
"Good luck!" She said.
Kurt teleported out of the Blackbird, and began to stroll down the street. He felt a little foolish wandering about in his black suit, but it seemed no one was really out and about to point fingers at him. A quick glance at his watch showed he had only five minutes to reach Morgan's home at the end of the block, so he hastened his step.
The house had, at one time, been a rather lovely Victorian home. Over the many years it had stood, the lovely detailed work had at some point been removed, and the whole thing had been covered in white siding. The porch, which nearly encircled the entire house, had a definate lean on the right side, dropping slighty to the crazily cracked driveway. Still, the trim of the house was neatly painted, the windows in good repair and the curtains that hung in them clean and fresh looking. It was old, and looked it, but well loved. Even from the sidewalk, one could feel the love and general good will put off by the residents inside, and it made the house shine out against the shoddiness of the rest of the neighborhood.
Kurt took a deep breath, and squared his shoulders, walking up the steps and to the front door. He raised his hand, and knocked gently.
Beyond the doorway he could hear footsteps, and the door opened. Morgan's father stood in the doorway, surprise and speculation in his expression. "Why, hello Kurt. What brings you by tonight?"
Taken aback, Kurt said "Ah, Morgan and I have a date."
Mr. Flannigan crossed his arms across his chest. "Oh, you do, do you? And tell me Kurt, do you have any idea of what my baby girl has been going through lately? She's miserable over you, I'll have you know, and making the rest of us miserable to boot. You do remember what I told you I'd do if you hurt her-"
"Daddy!" Kurt heard Morgan's shocked voice coming from inside. "Will you please stop it! I'm fine!"
"Morgan honey, I-"
"No!" a pair of hands reached out and grabbed Mr. Flannigan's arms, and he was abruptly pulled out of Kurt's line of sight. He could hear Morgan, her voice dropped into a whisper he was sure she thought he couldn't hear, continuing. "Dad, I swear to god, if you ruin this for me, I'll make your life even more miserable than it already is! What's between Kurt and I is between Kurt and I and, Goddess willing, we will work all of that crap out tonight. So if you don't mind, I would greatly appreciate it if you stayed out of my business!" He heard a footstep, and then something that sounded distinctly like a kiss. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to hopefully have myself a good time."
When Morgan stepped into view, Kurt felt as if time had stopped for one breathless moment. It was not the familiar reaction of his body that caught him, but the stunning vision of her beauty as she settled the black satin stole around her shoulders. The wild hair that he had run his fingers through was neatly tamed, twisted up in the back to hold a small nest of curls at the top, as well as two lovely curls that framed her face and accentuated her high cheekbones and the largeness of her eyes. It exposed the expanse of her creamy neck, covered now by an illusion so that it resembled nothing more than fair skin. Delicate silver drop earrings, graced her ears, and she wore a matching necklace with an amythyst pendant. The deep purple gown she wore was sleeveless, with a high empire waist defined not only by cut, but by a black matte ribbon that encircled her body just under the bust. From there, it hugged her to the hips where it suddenly flared out in an a-line skirt that ended just below her knees. A thin silver bangle graced her right wrist, and her left hand clutched a small black purse. Kurt was willing to bet she was wearing real silk stockings, and her feet were encased in three inch, black patent leather heels. They had a rounded toe, and a cup for heal with an ankle strap, but left the rest of the foot exposed.
She smiled at him, shy and uncertain. "Hello Kurt."
It took him three tries to respond. "Morgan-"he paused, then took her hand in his and bent low over it, turning her palm up and laying a gentle kiss upon it. "you look absolutely stunning."
He knew from the way her chin dropped, and titled to the left that she was blushing. Due to the illusion, the rosey flush he was familiar with did not color her cheeks at all. "I'm afraid you have me at a disadvantage sir." She said softly. "While I see this ghostly image of you is surely very handsome, I'm sure he has nothing on your devilishly debonair and suave natural self."
Kurt laughed, feeling some of his tension and awkwardness leak away. "Oh, believe me, I look as sorry a sight as usual. Still, if you are willing to escort me to dinner, it would be my pleasure to see if I could accommodate your desires afterwards. Unfair, too, that you should point out I am not exactly myself, when you are not exactly yours. "
Morgan fluttered her eyelashes and said "Perhaps after dinner, both of us may find ourselves in a position where that particular dissatisfaction may be alleviated."
Kurt offered her his arm, and she slipped her arm through his. He felt his breath quicken, his heart beat a little faster, but nothing like the urges that overcame him before. Now, it was as if she were simply an extremely attractive woman, in whom he had a romantic interest. A relief, to be sure.
They walked to the Blackbird, and from there Ororo flew them to the outskirts of Boston. There was a car waiting there already, and Kurt opened the door for Morgan, allowing her to get herself arranged before closing the door and heading to the drivers seat.
There was a brief, awkward silence as Kurt started the car and pulled the car out onto the road. Then, Morgan reached her hand out, and placed it gently atop his on the gear shift. "I've missed you," she said softly.
"I've missed you too." Kurt said, and was pleased to find that was indeed true. "I'm sorry I've been such a," he paused, "um,"
"Goon?" Morgan supplied, and Kurt laughed.
"Ja. A goon. I feel that there are a few things that we need to discuss before the relationship progresses any further." He said, looking at her from the corner of his eye to gauge her reaction.
"I couldn't agree more." She said, much to his relief. "I'm just glad that you're actually ready to talk about this."
"I had a great deal of difficulty trying to determine how exactly it was I felt. And to be honest, I was a bit frightened." He confessed. "I am usually not one to-"he paused "rush into anything intensely physical." He finished lamely.
"You're catholic, and not you're feeling guilty about the sex?" He could hear the edge in her voice.
"Yes and no." Kurt said honestly, and her hand moved away from his. "Please, Morgan, I wish to explain this to you before you say anything." She waved a hand at him, irritated. Even when she was angry, he noted, she was still beautiful. Abruptly, he turned his eyes back to the road. "It isn't that I regret the physical act," he said, "spiritually, it wasn't the right thing to do. I accept this, have confessed it and been absolved of the sin. No, what bothers me, is that it seemed I- Morgan, until tonight I've had to fight with myself not to, ah, be all over you."
"I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She said cautiously.
"From the moment I first laid eyes on you, I wanted you, in a rather carnal way." Kurt said. "I thought, at first, that maybe it was a latent gfit you had. That it was you that was the source of my nearly overwhelming attraction. But when I saw several men in your presence were not affected, I knew that it was something with me. Do you remember, when you came onto the roof to find me?" He looked at her, and she nodded. "I didn't port out because I was not used to being teased, no quite the contrary as a matter of fact. I 'ported out, because if I hadn't, then I would have taken you right there, regardless as to whether or not you consented."
It was the first time he'd spoken that particular tidbit out aloud to anyone. Best to press on, and not think about it. "That scared me so much, that I simply removed myself from the temptation. Even then, I had to fight not to go back to you. I resisted you for as long as I could, but then, when I woke up, and you were in my arms-"he shook his head. "I couldn't resist any longer."
"I see." Morgan said.
"Because of this, I couldn't be sure if I actually cared for you as anything other than a friend." Kurt plowed on. "A very good friend, whom you have not met, advised me that the best way to find out if in fact I would still be suffering from that affliction, and if we could progress beyond that, then maybe I should take you out on a date."
"Oh." She was silent for a long moment, and then she said "So, how do you feel now?"
"Well, I have gotten to know you very well over the phone, the last few times we've talked." Kurt said, and then he smiled. "In fact, I'm afraid I'd developed rather a crush on you, because of a few shared interests. I was extremely nervous about physically laying eyes on you, because I was afraid that I would again have that reaction to you. Much to my relief, I did not."
"So, what are you trying to say Wagner?" Morgan asked. To his relief, she didn't sound upset, or angry. In fact, her tone was downright playful.
"Well," he said, "I feel that tonight, I am having dinner with the loveliest woman in the world. I am truly blessed, and if I am extremely lucky she will consent to go dancing with me afterwards. That is, if she is not to upset with me for being a goon."
Morgan, much to his delight, laughed. "I don't know if I entirely believe you, Kurt." She said. "But, I do believe that you needed time, and that you were wrestling with something spiritually. While my particular faith could care less about sex, who you have it with, when you do it, or why, yours is rather rigid. I understand why that would be an issue for you."
"Ja, well hopefully it's something that I've finally gotten resolved." He said. "Ah, here we are." He pulled the car neatly in front of an old, brick building and slid out of the drivers seat. A Valet opened the passenger door, and helped Morgan to step out of the vehicle. Kurt gave her a dashing smile, and offered her his arm. "Shall we?"
"Charmer." Morgan smiled affectionately at him, and took his arm. "Lead on, Don Juan."
Dinner was, in Kurt's mind, perfection. It seemed that they not only shared similar tastes in books and music, she also had a passion for movies- especially old ones-that Kurt found mirrored in himself. He found himself engrossed in a fairly in depth conversation about Errol Flynn, and the impact that performer had on future generations.
"Take Johnny Depp for example," Morgan said, "you can't say that his performance in Pirates of the Carribean was not influenced in some way by Errol Flynn."
Kurt shook his head. "I haven't seen that yet, so I honestly couldn't say."
Morgan looked at him, aghast "You're joking me! You? The epitome of the swashbuckling pirate?"
Kurt laughed. "Well, it's true that I have swashed many a buckle in my life, I simply haven't had the time to watch it."
"Oh well we're just going to have to solve that then. You're going to come over to my house tomorrow and watch it." Morgan said.
"I am?" Kurt smiled, and she giggled. "Well, what will your father say about that?"
Morgan shrugged. "If he knows what's good for him, he'll keep his mouth shut." She said. "I am sorry about him going off like that, he's just, well, overprotective I guess."
"Well," Kurt said, "he is your father. I would imagine they are rather possessive of their daughters."
"Was your mother possessive of you Kurt?" Morgan asked, He blinked, startled.
"Ah, I never new my mother." Kurt said. "I am an orphan."
He could see shock warring with embarassment on her face. "Oh, Kurt I'm sorry. I- I didn't know-"
"Nein, Nein, don't worry." He said. "I am an orphan. Well, at least, I was raised as such. I was found by circus folk, who took me in and raised me as one of their own. Well, for the most part. As much as anyone could accept me, being what I am."
"So you have no family?" Morgan asked.
"I know who my mother is now." Kurt said. "I choose not to associate with her."
"Because she abandoned you?" Morgan asked.
"That, and other things." Then, he asked her "What was it like growing up in such a large family?"
Morgan laughed. "Oh, chaos! I don't know how my parents did it. Even with most of us grown and gone, the ones that are left are royal handfuls. I'm surprised we don't get more phone calls from Xavier's about the hell they are raising there."
"They have their moments." Kurt grinned. "But it's nothing we can't straighten out. Trust me, we have our share of jokesters. Deena and Riley are no worse than Bobby. If we can survive him, then we can definitely survive them."
"Well, I remember when I was a kid, it seemed so cool to have so many siblings." Morgan said. "No matter what kind of trouble I was in, I knew that there were certain of my older siblings I could rely on to bail me out. Deacon, for instance. He's the oldest, wow, he's going to be thirty this year.." she paused. "I'm going to have to get him something really good. Anyhow, he's always felt obligated to take care of the rest of us, especially me for some reason. Now me, I always felt like I should be taken care of Braden. He's only younger than me by a year, and because of his chosen profession, he used to take a lot of flack, even from our brothers."
"Oh?" Kurt raised an eyebrow. "What does he do?"
"He's a choreographer."
"Ah yes, I can see how that would be something a person could tease him about." Kurt said. "Not unlike my being an acrobat."
"Oh, see, now that's something you can talk about all day." Morgan said, and a dreamy look came over her face. "What was it like, working in a circus?"
They talked for what seemed like hours, sharing stories of their very different childhoods. Kurt was surprised to find the similarities between her large family, and his circus one. Both seemed chaotic, both seemed full of angst and high emotion, and both embraced just about anything that came their way.
When the check came, he readily paid it, and the two were off for dancing. Morgan was clearly excited, she'd never been dancing before. While he knew she was uncertain as to how she would do, her willingness to throw herself into it pleased him, and he was looking forward to teaching her what he knew. It was definitely going to be a great way to end the evening.
Morgan's feet, legs, and lower back still ached from the hours she'd spent dancing with Kurt.
It was worth every ache, pain, and twinge she was felt .
She laid in bed, reliving the night in every last wonderful detail as she stared at the shadowed ceiling above her bed. First, there'd been dinner. Then dancing enough that it had left her breathless. The feel of Kurt's body against hers, the smell of him, the strength of his arms, had all worked together to get her fairly worked up. Combine that with his skill on the dance floor, and his absolute grace, well, she'd been putty in his hands, to say the very least.
Then, he'd flown her home, and walked her back to her front door, the whole time playing the perfect gentleman. The kiss that she'd been anticipating the whole night, was a simple brush of his lips against her cheek. Then, he'd ushered her into her house, and as she watched stood on her porch for a moment. A foolish grin plastered to his face, wonder in his eyes, and a definate bounce in his step as he'd left.
The whole thing had left her extremely frustrated, to say the least. It was perfectly delicious, and she was greatly looking forward to see him that day. What she wasn't looking forward too, was telling him of his child.
Her hand drifted to her belly, and rubbed small circles over it. After last night, she could easily see herself developing a long term relationship with Kurt. Just the two of them, could have quite a few good times together. Even the philosophical and theological differences added to the relationship, assuring they would definitely have things to talk about as they got older.
But introducing a child into the mix, into the beginnings of what could be the best, last relationship of her life, might have a detrimental affect. What if Kurt blamed her? What if he insisted that she get rid of the child or, far more likely, that she keep it? What if, goddess forbid, he insisted on marriage? What kind of affect would that have on their budding relationship? Would it strengthen it, or harbor resentment on one or both sides?
Then there were the biological concerns. There was no question in her mind that the child would be born a mutant. Would she even be able to carry it to term? What if it was severely deformed? So much so, that it might not be able to survive once it was born anyway? And what was she to do for a physician? Chances are, the mutations would be visible, even as a fetus. Like a tail, for example. She couldn't exactly wander from office to office asking the doctors if they were tolerant of mutants.
She yawned, and stretched. Either way, she had to tell Kurt. Tomorrow. Thinking about it tonight would do no good. With a sigh, she rolled onto her side and cuddled into her pillow. It didn't take long for sleep to claim her.
She dreamed.