She let out a sigh. She had been admitted to the hospital wing, for observation, her bed opposite Albus. But at that moment, she was in the hospital bathroom, soaking in the warm water Poppy had prepared for her. She could feel her muscles relaxing for the first time in a long time, maybe it was due to the potion Poppy had given her. Her thoughts turned suddenly to Severus, but with the soothing heat from the bath and the draught Poppy had given, she was in a state of absolute relaxation and couldn't remember what about him that made her uncomfortable.

Absently, she ran a finger through her wet hair. It barely skimmed the top of her shoulder. Poppy had helped her salvage her hair and she had to admit it did look becoming. And much lighter. However, she no longer could wear her customary bun. Well, that was the price she had to pay for one night of uncontrolled anger. She dropped her hands into the water; gasping lightly at the sudden sting on her half healed knuckles that Poppy had refused to use magic to heal as she said may interfere with the potion that was working inside her. Rolling her head back against the tub, she sighed again.

@~~}~~

A month had passed and to those involved, that night was becomming a mere memory now. Wounds and scars had healed and there was no more fear. Minerva looked into the scared faces that were looking anxiously behind her, trying to figure out what lay in store for them pass the great oak doors. Faces that would never have to fear anymore of returning home to destruction. Faces whose biggest worry now would be end of the year exams. She wondered how many of them really knew the sacrifice made that night. Which then made her wonder how many did know? How many of them had lost someone they loved? Which one of them was now without a father, brother, grandfather, or maybe even mother and sister? Minerva quickly shook herself from her morbid thoughts, and gave a small nod to the students.

"Welcome, first years to Hogwarts..." she repeated the same speech she had been giving for nearly twenty years and with a swirl of her robes, the same gesture perfected by years of practice, she lead the first years into the Great Hall. Her steps were brisk, as they have always been, but her eyes couldn't help wander to the raven-haired boy, whose red haired and brown haired best friends flanked him. His face was pale, and she could see the exhaustion that was still visible, but she could also see the relief and happiness that had been absent too long in him, if it had ever been there before. It was an expression she had also seen in so many other witch and wizard. He caught her eye and smiled. She responded with a curt nod.

The sorting ceremony went by quickly and after a few words from Professor Dumbledore, the students and teachers alike dug into the lavish food prepared for them. But she wasn't hungry. She hasn't had the appetite to eat for the past week, but she wasn't completely worried as she just brushed it off as stress.

"Minerva, aren't you eating?" asked a voice next to her. The only person she could really confide in, except Albus of course.

"I'm not hungry, Poppy," she said.

"Aren't you feeling well?" Poppy asked again. She had noticed the subtle changes in her friend and she wasn't pleased at all. A pair of dark eyes turned suddenly to Minerva.

"No, I'm fine," she said a little louder as she had felt his eyes fix on her. She was still a little put out by that night, and tried to not speak to him unless necessary. Poppy just nodded and he looked away. Minerva sighed inwardly and with great show spooned some mash potato into her mouth. Her thoughts drifted back to him. She knew he was confused. She didn't know how much he remembered but she would never ask. She had decided in the end to let sleeping dogs lay. There was no witness, no proof, just a mere memory. Her secret was hers alone. She couldn't even tell Albus, her shame was strong. She had managed to forget, for a while, but now the memories were back.

"Minerva, come now, you must eat," said a second voice to her left.

"I know headmaster, but my appetite seems poor lately," she answered. He looked at her, his eyes thoughtful. It disturbed him that she hadn't confided in him what was weighing so heavily on her shoulders. He knew it involved the Potions Master, but neither were saying anything. He just hoped that it was nothing anyone would regret.

"Maybe you should see Poppy..." he began but she stopped him.

"Albus, I'm fine. Really. Just a little tired. The beginning of each school year always wears me out. I'll be fine in a couple of days." She reasoned with him. He didn't look like he believed her, but he let it drop. He knows something is wrong, she thought. I just hope he doesn't find out what it is. She sighed again swallowed another spoonful of mashed potato.

Then suddenly wished she hadn't.

She could feel it rise up her throat, bitter with bile. Muttering a quick excuse, she leapt from her chair, hundred pairs of eyes following her out and the minute she was out of vision; she broke into a run to the nearest girl's bathroom. She had just barely reached a bowl, before the contents of her stomach emptied itself into the toilet bowl. After several minutes, the nausea passed and she was left feeling extremely tired. Maybe she had been over exerting herself.

"Minerva, its time to stop prowling and start sleeping," she said softly to herself. Resting her head against the cold walls, she breathed deeply in and out.

"Minerva!" Poppy Pomfrey's voice echoed through the bathroom chambers. She quickly got up to her feet and walked out, trying to hide her sudden fatigue.

"Here, Poppy," she said wearily.

"Minerva, what's wrong? You had us all worried," said the mediwitch, concern etched on her face. Minerva tried to smile but only managed a small one.

"I'm alright now. I think, Poppy, that I will take your sleeping potion after all. I fear fatigue has caught up with me," she said. Poppy placed an arm around her shoulder.

"Come, I'll take you back to your room," said Poppy and together the two headed towards the Gryffindor tower.