He'd been watching her for so long, and for so long he still has no clue why she intrigued him so much. He cannot pin point it, for the changes had been subtle, but the woman he sees today is different than whom she was several months ago. What had happened that night they returned from the graveyard? He remembered battling Voldermort, he remembered being subjected to the Cruciatus curse, he remembered Albus, Minerva, Harry and the Order of the Phoenix materializing and he remembered the ruin of Voldermort and his deatheaters. But no matter how hard he strained his brain, he couldn't remember what happened next. And surprisingly, it made him sad. He knew something important happened. A strong feeling of protectiveness surged through him as he watched her face distort in pain, which seemed to be very often. He wanted to help her but she would just brush him off, he knew that for certain. Had he not tried to talk to her these pass months, establish a friendship with the deputy, despite his own reservations? And had she not brushed him off every time? Now the question is... WHY? He had never felt like this before. He knew she was strong, why the sudden urge to protect her? Does he feel indebted to her for that night? Somehow, it seemed deeper than that. But how deep? Argh! All these questions! He needed answers, and he knew only one place to get some.
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They sat opposite each other, one looking patiently, the other playing with the hem of his robes, trying hard to phrase his questions.
"Severus?" the soothing voice of the headmaster interrupted his thoughts. Severus sighed and felt eleven again.
"It's Minerva," Severus said finally. Albus didn't say anything, but he wasn't surprised.
"She's different," he continued. Albus nodded, he had noticed something different about his deputy too.
"Yes, I realized that too," he said. Severus looked up at him.
"Do you know...." He left his question hanging. He didn't want to seem too desperate. His heart dropped when Albus shook his head.
"I'm sorry Severus, I don't know," the headmaster said. Silence.
"Severus, forgive me for prying. But why the sudden concern?" asked Albus. He was only used to seeing his deputy and potions master bickering. So, a concerned Severus was highly unusual. But even more unusual than that was a BLUSHING concerned potions master. Severus Snape was red in the face.
"I realize this is a little... a lot... out of character, but headmaster, something happened the night we returned from the graveyard, involving Minerva and myself. But I can't remember what," he said.
"And have you tried talking to her?" Albus asked. Severus got up from his seat and began pacing the floor.
"I've tried. But every time I try to talk to her... she suddenly has something important to do, somewhere she has to go," sighed Severus.
"I'm stumped. But I don't understand why I can't remember it," he said again. Albus looked thoughtful.
"Is there anything that you have done in the past that you have worked hard to forget?" Albus asked. Severus snorted.
"Nothing much, just my entire life," he answered dryly. Albus was not amused. He too wanted to find the cause for Minerva's anxiety and hopefully help her.
"Nothing that would involve her," he answered again.
"Sometimes, our minds do not want to remember such events which it links together with pain. And sometimes, it can not accept a certain happening and hence 'forgets' about it," Albus said. Severus was quiet, trying to process the words. For all her stuffiness and constant annoyance with him, she would never hurt him. So, what had happened was something his subconscious level couldn't accept. But what? More questions still no answers.
"But headmaster, that doesn't answer anything," he said.
"I want to know what happened that night. If my brain won't remember and Minerva won't say, how am I supposed to find out?!" he cried.
"Calm down Severus. I don't have any answers, I'm sorry," said the headmaster comfortingly. Severus took his seat once again and buried his head in his hands.
"So I'll never find out?" he said despairingly.
"Never say never, Severus. Maybe someday, you'll find a link to that night that will answer all your questions," said Albus. Severus nodded and excused himself. Albus waited till he had left before sighing loudly. He had thought with the downfall of the Dark lord and his minions, those left would be able to live better lives. Now the two closest to him were anything but better off. And he did not know how to help them, a fact that cut deeply.