OK, I AM NOT FEELING TOO WELL WHILE WRITING THIS CHAPTER SO IF IT SUCKS
JUST TELL ME AND I CAN REDO IT WHEN I FEEL BETTER. I'M LOOKING FOR A BETA
SO IF YOU'RE INTERESTED EMAIL ME.
Dawn looked out through the kitchen door trying to see Spike knowing that he had gone.
'Dawn, hey.' Said Xander as he entered the room. 'What you up to? Where's Spike?
'Oh he's just left,' Dawn said closing the door as Willow entered the room.
'Dawn are you ok? You look a little pale. Are you sick sweetie?'
'Oh no, I'm fine,' she replied trying not to look as guilty as she felt. If any of them found out what had happened, Spike would be as good as dead. And she couldn't let that happen. Although she had never been so unsure of how she felt about him, she knew she didn't want him dead, or in Spike's case deader.
'Dawnie we've finished the slaying and were wondering if you were up for some crazy partying at the Bronze. We've all been down since. well for a while and we haven't been there for ages. What do you think? Up for some grooving?' Willow asked obviously worried about Dawn.
' I don't know guys I was in the middle of cookie making.' Dawn replied. She didn't tell them the real reason she wasn't coming. She wanted to see if Spike would come back. She needed to see him. There were too many thoughts and questions running through her head which she needed answering and he was the only person who could.
'Well I've got to change so you've got some time if you change your mind.' Willow said still trying to convince Dawn the Bronze was a good idea. Dawn smiled at them. They had been trying so hard since Buffy had died and she knew they were all hurting too but they always made sure she was ok first. She was so grateful to them for everything they had done, for how they had helped her so much and yet she needed help now and knew she couldn't ask them.
Dawn turned away from the others trying to hide the real reason she didn't want to go and began to wipe down the kitchen surfaces and tidy up the kitchen. As she washed up she continued to sneak looks out the window searching for any sign of movement outside, just hoping to see Spike lurking in the bushes. She had imagined Spike kissing her before but never as real as this. Of course it must have been a dream. Spike would never of kissed her really. He was in love with her sister. So there was no way. Dawn knew how stupid she sounded. She closed her eyes remembering every moment of it. She looked around the kitchen knowing the kiss had happened right here in this kitchen less than 5 minutes ago.
It had been her first kiss. Her first kiss had been with a vampire, an evil vampire who she had hated, who had been her sister's mortal enemy. Ok, shouldn't her first kiss have been magical with someone she cared about, who cared about her and who didn't run away immediately afterwards. That was never a good sign. She knew he had left because the others had arrived but what if they hadn't what would she be doing now. Would she still be standing here dreaming of what could have happened rather than what had? Life wasn't supposed to be this crazy.
She checked the clock on the wall constantly and as the minutes ticked by she realised he wasn't coming back. She was going to have to go and see him tomorrow. She knew if she stayed here she would just sit around and wonder about Spike. So instead of feeling sad and anxious she ran up the stairs and shouted down to Xander and the others:
'Just give me 5 minutes, I'm coming too.'
She could wonder about him at the Bronze instead surrounded by friends and a band. That would be more fun wouldn't it?
**************
Spike ran through the night. He couldn't believe what he had done. He arrived at the entrance to the graveyard that contained Buffy's grave and stopped suddenly but couldn't go in. He stood there because he knew he couldn't go to see her knowing what he had done. He lit a cigarette as he nervously began pacing up and down the entrance. He couldn't go and explain to her what he had done because he wasn't sure. Spike couldn't stand there making excuses for himself because he knew there weren't any. He knew what he had done was wrong. He had played this same game in his head the night before and he wasn't about to repeat last night. Suddenly losing his temper, he kicked at a fence, surprised by his outburst.
But this time it was different. This time Dawn had kissed him back. This young woman he had promised Buffy he would protect. Buffy had trusted him with Dawn and he had let her down again. He had tried to avoid Dawn but that hadn't worked. He admitted to himself he hadn't tried very hard. He remembered the kiss exactly every second of it. How different it was to how he had imagined it would be. Yet he had never considered it or even thought about Dawn like that before last night. He had changed everything. He had no idea what Dawn thought of him now. Did she hate him? What if the next time he went round there would she be standing with Giles and the rest of the Scooby gang wielding crosses, stakes and holy water. Or had she felt exactly the same as him, confused and scared. Although when kissing Dawn he had felt something, it was different from what he had felt for Buffy, for what he still felt for Buffy. He still loved her and knew there was nothing that could stop that. But what if Dawn could. He shook his head trying to get that thought out of his mind, dropped the cigarette and headed away from his crypt to the Bronze. The one place he wouldn't be alone and able to think about Dawn and Buffy.
I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY SHORT BUT I WANTED TO KEEP THE NEXT SCENE ALL TOGETHER ON TI'S OWN. R&R TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.
Dawn looked out through the kitchen door trying to see Spike knowing that he had gone.
'Dawn, hey.' Said Xander as he entered the room. 'What you up to? Where's Spike?
'Oh he's just left,' Dawn said closing the door as Willow entered the room.
'Dawn are you ok? You look a little pale. Are you sick sweetie?'
'Oh no, I'm fine,' she replied trying not to look as guilty as she felt. If any of them found out what had happened, Spike would be as good as dead. And she couldn't let that happen. Although she had never been so unsure of how she felt about him, she knew she didn't want him dead, or in Spike's case deader.
'Dawnie we've finished the slaying and were wondering if you were up for some crazy partying at the Bronze. We've all been down since. well for a while and we haven't been there for ages. What do you think? Up for some grooving?' Willow asked obviously worried about Dawn.
' I don't know guys I was in the middle of cookie making.' Dawn replied. She didn't tell them the real reason she wasn't coming. She wanted to see if Spike would come back. She needed to see him. There were too many thoughts and questions running through her head which she needed answering and he was the only person who could.
'Well I've got to change so you've got some time if you change your mind.' Willow said still trying to convince Dawn the Bronze was a good idea. Dawn smiled at them. They had been trying so hard since Buffy had died and she knew they were all hurting too but they always made sure she was ok first. She was so grateful to them for everything they had done, for how they had helped her so much and yet she needed help now and knew she couldn't ask them.
Dawn turned away from the others trying to hide the real reason she didn't want to go and began to wipe down the kitchen surfaces and tidy up the kitchen. As she washed up she continued to sneak looks out the window searching for any sign of movement outside, just hoping to see Spike lurking in the bushes. She had imagined Spike kissing her before but never as real as this. Of course it must have been a dream. Spike would never of kissed her really. He was in love with her sister. So there was no way. Dawn knew how stupid she sounded. She closed her eyes remembering every moment of it. She looked around the kitchen knowing the kiss had happened right here in this kitchen less than 5 minutes ago.
It had been her first kiss. Her first kiss had been with a vampire, an evil vampire who she had hated, who had been her sister's mortal enemy. Ok, shouldn't her first kiss have been magical with someone she cared about, who cared about her and who didn't run away immediately afterwards. That was never a good sign. She knew he had left because the others had arrived but what if they hadn't what would she be doing now. Would she still be standing here dreaming of what could have happened rather than what had? Life wasn't supposed to be this crazy.
She checked the clock on the wall constantly and as the minutes ticked by she realised he wasn't coming back. She was going to have to go and see him tomorrow. She knew if she stayed here she would just sit around and wonder about Spike. So instead of feeling sad and anxious she ran up the stairs and shouted down to Xander and the others:
'Just give me 5 minutes, I'm coming too.'
She could wonder about him at the Bronze instead surrounded by friends and a band. That would be more fun wouldn't it?
**************
Spike ran through the night. He couldn't believe what he had done. He arrived at the entrance to the graveyard that contained Buffy's grave and stopped suddenly but couldn't go in. He stood there because he knew he couldn't go to see her knowing what he had done. He lit a cigarette as he nervously began pacing up and down the entrance. He couldn't go and explain to her what he had done because he wasn't sure. Spike couldn't stand there making excuses for himself because he knew there weren't any. He knew what he had done was wrong. He had played this same game in his head the night before and he wasn't about to repeat last night. Suddenly losing his temper, he kicked at a fence, surprised by his outburst.
But this time it was different. This time Dawn had kissed him back. This young woman he had promised Buffy he would protect. Buffy had trusted him with Dawn and he had let her down again. He had tried to avoid Dawn but that hadn't worked. He admitted to himself he hadn't tried very hard. He remembered the kiss exactly every second of it. How different it was to how he had imagined it would be. Yet he had never considered it or even thought about Dawn like that before last night. He had changed everything. He had no idea what Dawn thought of him now. Did she hate him? What if the next time he went round there would she be standing with Giles and the rest of the Scooby gang wielding crosses, stakes and holy water. Or had she felt exactly the same as him, confused and scared. Although when kissing Dawn he had felt something, it was different from what he had felt for Buffy, for what he still felt for Buffy. He still loved her and knew there was nothing that could stop that. But what if Dawn could. He shook his head trying to get that thought out of his mind, dropped the cigarette and headed away from his crypt to the Bronze. The one place he wouldn't be alone and able to think about Dawn and Buffy.
I KNOW THIS CHAPTER IS REALLY SHORT BUT I WANTED TO KEEP THE NEXT SCENE ALL TOGETHER ON TI'S OWN. R&R TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.