Paternoster
Summary: Are redemption and damnation really two sides of the same coin? Set during "Time to Tell."
Rating: PG
A/N: This piece places religious (specifically Catholic) metaphors in a philosophical context. You have been warned. The ending verses are from an anonymous 15th century English lyric, and can be found in The Oxford Book of English Verse.
Kyrie eleison. Lord, have mercy. Bless me Father, for I have sinned. All my life, I have existed in a Purgatory that I created for myself, have worked tirelessly to expunge and atone for my sins. There seem to be so many of them ... the sin of what I am, what I carry, what I may yet become. Every person goes through the Fall, and carries his share of the guilt for that..
Robin wasn't the only Catholic girl to become a Hunter.
I was a Witch. I wielded a power that humans were never meant to use, one that came from the fallen angels – and there were times when, God help me, I enjoyed using that power. How can I ever atone for that? What penance can there be, what absolution can be given to one whose existence is the essence of the Original Sin – the desire for unnatural power?
When SOLOMON found me, I embraced their viewpoints wholeheartedly. I believed that when a Craft manifested itself in a person, that person would ultimately be destroyed by it. As a Craft-user, there was only one way to keep my humanity alive, and that was to become a Hunter. I took my powers and used them to atone for the sins of my kind.
Now – I'm becoming one of them. There is no difference, there never was. All those years, I clung to the hope that I could reclaim my humanity, could become a beloved child of God. And it was all for nothing. Lies, dust and ashes.
The STN-J is falling to bits – as hard as I try, I can't hold it together any longer. I can feel my powers changing, the edges of my mind beginning to fray into the surrounding darkness. The wages of sin ... all the Acts of Contrition in the world can't help me now.
Father, forgive me for what I must do. Sancta Maria, mater Dei, ora pro nobis ...
Robin, forgive me.
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No. It cannot be true. We cannot be the Chosen People. Why would God give his children such terrible gifts?
He called her "Eve of Witches." As Eve committed the first sin and caused the Fall, so did she give birth to all of us, and make the Redemption possible. Maria ... Robin's mother ... is it blasphemy to think that this child could be our salvation? That a girl who can kindle the fires of Hell can bring Witches back into their birthright as children of God?
Isaac had twin sons; one was blessed, the other cursed. Eve's second son died at the hands of his brother. In such a long, terrible story, can this one child really be our Hope?
Adam lay ybounden, bounden in a bond,
Four thousand winter thought he not too long,
And all was for an apple, an apple that he tooke,
As clerkes finden written in ye booke.
Ne had the apple taken been, the apple taken been,
Ne had neuer our lady ybene heuenye quene.
Blessed be the day that apple taken was,
Therefore we maun singen:
Deo gracias!