Thanks for the reviews... I was holding my breath. (I'm kinda purple now)
Endilwen: I'll surely ask for your help, but not too soon, don't worry. If you haven't noticed it yet, I'm quite glad with you BETA-reading!
Tabii: Thank you! Your review put a big smile in my face
WifeofSatan: I also spend too much time here... Ssssorry about ssss! No more for a while. And HI! I am also a September one!
Melwasul: Thank you for R&R!!! Don't you think it is taking me awfully long to put them together? I know, but can't help it...
* * *
"To be, or not to be, that is the question:
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous Fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing end them: to die to sleep;
No more; and by a sleep, to say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand natural shocks
That flesh is heir to? 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wish'd. To die to sleep,
To sleep, perchance to dream; ay, there's the rub,
For in that sleep of death, what dreams may come,
When we have shuffled off this mortal coil
Must give us pause."
To die to sleep, to sleep, perchance to dream... he took his quill. To die to sleep... to sleep, maybe to rest. He played with the idea for some seconds, then forgot about it. He remembered the quill and underlined the words. Hermione Granger came to his mind, and he imagined how horrified she would be if he saw him commiting this sacrilege that was painting a book. With that idea, he enjoyed even more the lines he drew, and the few words he noted down on the borders. Well, he wouldn't have painted some books, of course, but these paperbacks muggle things, he loved getting them used, with old, yellowing pages. Sometimes he even had to cast Reparo on them.
But the thought of Hermione Granger came back. She had been scared of his death. Why on earth would Miss Granger fear his death? Not that it felt bad having someone worried about that, his mind let that thought slip among his ideas for a second. But... it had been a big impression to see his body laying there, mostly because he would have imagined it was one of the biggest fantasies of any Gryffindor. He suspected it had been a surprise also for Miss Granger, if he was to trust her expresion. The idea of her feeling something special for him didn't even cross his mind. No one had ever had; he was too unfair, to cruel to all of them, so he just didn't think about it. He wasn't sure how he felt about having at least one student in Hogwarts (it could become a plague at any moment, although he didn't think there was much danger of that happening...) who would like him to stay alive. Not too bad, not too bad. Annoying, and strange, maybe. But not too bad.
To die, to sleep... yet he would prefer to die, because of the nightmares. He looked the bottle over his table and took five drops of Hermione's potion. Ah, to die, to sleep...
* * *
"So? How was it?"
"Ron! Why are they all still here?" There were at least ten Gryffindors up in the common room. She sent an angry look at her fellow prefect, and he blushed a little.
"Mione!!!" Harry scolded her. "We just wanted to know how you were" and took his friend by the arm.
"Yes, yes, Hermione" said Parvati's nasty shrieking voice. "We were worried for you"
You viper just would have loved to see me covered with mud and blood, she thought, but tried to smile.
"By the way, you don't look very well" Ginny said, tactfully.
"Oh, I'm all right. I'm just tired and should finish my homework So, if you don't mind..."
People dissolved, still wondering what her punishment had been. She heard Parvati saying to Lavender Brown: "Same as always. She's a swot, didn't I tell you?."
She tried to avoid tears, pointing to the ceiling with her chin. This was too much.
Safe in her room, she still wanted to die, but for different reasons than her teacher's. Since when did she care about Snape being dead or alive? She had suspected the boggart would become something different this time, but Snape's corpse?
The plain idea made her shiver. Why did she worry about the meanest and cruelest wizard in existence? Well she didn't mind. She filled the bathtub. Harry was right, she needed to relax.
Parking the topic in a very obscure and distant place of her mind, put herself into the hot water and closed her eyes.
* * *
"Try again"
She looked back at him, grinding her teeth.
"Protego!" She was already protected by the shield charm, but even so, Snape's "Stupefy" reached her, and she fell to the floor, nearly unconcious. She had the impression he was overacting in those classes. He didn't need to use all his power against her! At least, the nightmares hadn't come back. She felt more prepared than ever.
Her legs didn't obey her at the first command, so Snape reached her and with a nasty, teasing voice, he asked:
"Miss Granger, will you be able to go on with the class?"
She brushed the dust off her robes. "Yes" she spat.
"Very well, then. Again"
"Protego!" "Stupefy!"
Snape reached her just in time to catch her head before it hit the floor. Colour had gone out of her cheeks. He was being extra-cruel, he knew, but Miss Granger made him nervous. And she really had to learn to fight against Dark Arts. Voldemort wouldn't care about hurting her. However, this didn't calm the itchy sensation his guilty conscience was giving him.
"Enervate"
She opened her eyes, and pushed herself far from him, for they were too close. An awkward moment came, and suddenly she was holding her wand again.
"Protego"
Snape wasn't ready, but it took him only seconds
"Stupefy"
This time, she stood there not too firmly, but she didn't fall.
"Good. We should stop, you are getting tired"
"Professor?"
"Yes, Miss Granger?"
"First I would like to try to attack you"
Surely she wasn't thinking he would allow her to hex him or something, was she? Merlin's teeth, she was.
"Miss Granger, I am afraid this is Defence Against the Dark Arts, not Dark Arts, if you get the difference"
"I do, but, honestly, attack is the best form of defence"
"Muggle-quoting? Come on, Miss Granger" But he gave in. "What will you try?"
"I don't know. I would like... a duel?"
"If that pleases you..." he said, scornfully.
They took places.
"Tarantallegra!"
Snape nearly laughted, the girl wanted to make him dance. He resisted it without any protecting spell. He was not very impressed. Miss Granger could do better.
"Rictusempra!"
"Protego!" and as a surprise, the charm went back to Hermione and she began to laugh.
"Fi... hehe... finite incantatem. Confundus!"
Snape was confused, indeed.
"Wingardium Leviosa!" He felt his feet separating from the ground, but he was still a bit disconcerted. The teacher inside him still found strength to critizise the choice. Wingardium Leviosa was not a brilliant charm to use on a human being, if he could be considered one, but mixed with Confundus, it was working, he reflected.
"Serpentsortia" he shouted
"Desillusio" The snake that he had made appear seemed to lose colour but went on approaching her. It was real.
Snape said some words she could not understand, and the snake, instead of biting her, it began encircling her legs. She was going to fall.
"Impedimenta" The snake stopped for a second and she transfigurated it into a rat.
Snape spoke parseltongue. Why had he never let them know, not even with that issue of the Chamber of Secrets?
He gave her no time to think.
"Expelliarmus"
"Accio varita" she said when it was sliding out of her hand. And it came. They exchanged a glance. It was very difficult to do any magic without a wand. Technically she had a wand, but she had stopped touching it while saying the spell.
He walked towards her, probably to check her wand, but she instinctively tried to protect herself.
"Locomor mortis!"
Snape nearly fell down when his legs stopped sharply.
Slightly annoyed he waved his wand pointing at his legs and reached Miss Granger.
"That was interesting" It had been a exciting duel, one of the most equals he had had, even if he wouldn't acknowledge it aloud for a million galleons.
She was very tired, but feeling satisfied. She had healed her wounded pride.
"Next time we will be learning some ways of counteracting against the Unforgivables, including spells and potions."
"But, Professor, is that legal?"
"Well, I wouldn't put my hand in the fire for it, but it can be very useful, whatever Fudge thinks."
She startled hearing the hatred with which Snape uttered the Minister's name.
"And, next weeks we might be taking some Occlumency classes" he pondered her reaction.
She tried to hide it. Now that she was so confused she didn't think it was a good idea.
"As you wish. Anything else?"
"No. You may leave. Don't forget to clean up."
"Scourgify" it was the same he used in his classes. Good girl, always paying attention.