IT'S HALF TERM, SO IC AN UPDATE MORE OFTEN WHOO HOOO, PLEASE REVIEW MY
STORY BECAUSE IT GIVES ME A BOOST AND MAKES ME THINK ALL MY WORK HASN'T
BEEN FOR NOTHING.
Spike and Dawn entered the Summer's house.
'I can't keep doing this ' Dawn said as she shuts the front door.
'And what you think I can?' Spike replied looking at her.
'I didn't mean it like that. I want to tell the others.' Dawn looked at Spike waiting for a reaction.
Spike looked at her shocked for even suggesting it.
'You're joking right; we're not doing that luv.'
'Why not?' Dawn questioned. 'I think they would understand.'
'Do you remember when they found out I am in love with Buffy? Do you remember how they reacted, how she reacted, how you reacted? I don't want to go through that again. You have no idea what it was like, being shut out. I didn't care about the others but being away from Buffy was hard. Do you think it would be any better with you? If they knew what we had done. If we told them do you think they would be fine with it? Say well ok I'm glad you have told us we're just going to go out and leave you two alone.' Dawn looked down to the floor. He always had the power to make her feel childish, a lot younger than he was.
'That's not what I meant,' she replied awkwardly.
'We have to end it, this thing it's ridiculous. It's not going to work. You're young, too young for me.' Spike said suddenly. Dawn looked up at him stunned by what he had just said. Spike was as shocked by his own outburst as Dawn was.
'So what? People have older boyfriends.'
'Not a century older.' Spike replied trying not to sound as mean as he felt.
'Angel was older; he and Buffy loved each other.' Dawn said trying not to let Spike see what he had just said had hurt her.
Spike flinched at the name Angel and then at the thought of the two of them together.
'And you see how well they worked out, him moving away.'
'That doesn't matter when two people really lov... want it to.' Dawn recovered from saying love. Although she was in love with Spike, she didn't think he felt the same way about her. Deep down she knew he was still in love with Buffy and as much as she tried she couldn't do anything about it.
'What if I don't want it to? Because...because of...' Spike said and began to trail off, trying not to hurt Dawn. He looked down to the floor ashamed.
'What? Because of Buffy, because you are still in love with her. Spike she's not coming back. You should know that by now. So answer me one question. Why are you still here? I know it's not because of me.'
Dawn had had enough. Spike looked at her, shocked by Dawn's sudden outburst. She loved Spike more than any guy she had ever known and he didn't even care about her. She had opened her heart to him about her mum, her sister and herself and all he cared about was Buffy. Had he been using her to be near to the memory of Buffy? She loved him so much and yet couldn't understand why he hadn't stopped loving her sister. Dawn would always be second best to Buffy in Spike's eyes. She knew that now, all that time when she had pretended Buffy no longer mattered to him and that she finally felt she belonged with someone but he had never felt the same way.
'Spike do you still think I'm a kid who doesn't know anything? Do you think I don't know you are in love with Buffy, with my sister? How could I not know Spike? The only reason you came back to look after me after Buffy's death was to be in her house, to see things that reminded you of her. It had nothing to do with me. I know that now.' Dawn felt the rage inside her increasing. She was still angry about Buffy dying and knew she was taking it out on Spike but couldn't seem to stop.
'That's not true, I came to look after you.' Spike replied honestly.
'So what you are my babysitter now.' Dawn said ironically annoyed that Spike wouldn't own up to the feelings he still had for Buffy.
'No, I came because I cared about you.' Spike answered again trying to be honest about what he felt for her.
'If you cared about me, how could you hurt me so much?' Dawn replied almost in a whisper, turning away.
Spike gently grabbed her by the shoulders forcing her to look into his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes. She looked deep into them searching for answers about how he felt but saw nothing.
'I wanted to protect you Dawn.'
'What from demons?' Dawn said sadly. Slowly regaining her anger she pushed Spike away. 'You're the demon Spike. Because since Buffy's death, you're the only demon that's hurt me. You're worse than any demon I've known. You say you are going to protect me but now I have never hurt so much. And it's not just because Buffy's gone, I would be able to cope with her going But it's all because of you Spike. You are the only thing I can think about. Just you. And I' m so happy when I'm with you and now it's all crashing down. That's why I'm hurting'
Dawn turned away from him as she began to cry; unable to look at the man she had fallen for, not wanting to see his reaction.
Spike looked at this young woman. She was wrong, he did care for her and it had nothing to do with Buffy. He really did care for Dawn in a way he wouldn't have believed before Buffy's death. Every second he spent with Dawn he felt like a better person, as if he deserved to be a part of Dawn's life. Every time he looked at Dawn he didn't see a young girl, the slayers sister and the key but as the woman he was falling for. He hated to see her upset like this. Seeing her crying was one of the hardest things he had ever done. He loved to see her smile, see her face light up while he was there, even over something silly.
He stood there not knowing what to do. All he wanted to do was put his arms around Dawn, kiss her and tell her everything would be ok, but he couldn't.
He loved her smile, her eyes, how she ate pizza while singing a stupid song about anchovies and the way she would watch cartoons while criticising the realism of a talking dog. Even with her back turned he could see her beautiful face, engraved in his mind. His feelings for Dawn were completely different from those of Buffy and although he might still love Buffy, his feelings for Dawn were there and they were real and they were returned. He had never dreamed that Dawn could think of anything more than a monster.
But he knew that she loved him and that meant more to him than anything. She was different from Buffy, her own person. She was sure of herself and he loved her for it. This thought shocked Spike as the realisation of what he was thinking and what he felt sunk in. A smile spread across his face, he loved Dawn.
He turned Dawn around so that they were face to face. Spike saw the tears fall down her face and knew she had never looked more beautiful. Spike wiped the tears from her cheek with his hand and stared longingly into her eyes. Her beauty took his breath away and he looked at her trying to find the courage to tell her how he felt.
'Spike?' Dawn asked, she loved this man and in his arms she felt right but knew this feeling wouldn't last.
'Shhhh' Spike said putting his finger to her lips and then began to kiss her. Dawn kissed him back placing her arms around his waist and moved closer into him until she felt completely surrounded by just him as if there was nothing else left in the world except them. As Dawn moved towards him Spike felt her warm body leaning on him, depending on him and knew he needed to tell her.
'Dawn...' Spike said still holding her close to him trying to tell her how he felt.
'Spike, I don't know if you want to hear this but I need to tell you. I'm not expecting anything but I need you to know this.' Spike looked at her a little confused. His face was so handsome in the light Dawn felt her heart melt as she looked into his eyes.
'Spike I think I'm falling in love with you.' Dawn didn't wait for a reaction just leaned in and kissed him. Knowing she had done the right thing for herself as he began to kiss her back. As she pulled out of the kiss she looked at him smiled, held his hand and walked into the hall.
'Do want me to go?' Spike asked puzzled.
'No,' Dawn replied, smiling at how sweet and innocent the vampire could be. Still holding his hand, she began to lead him upstairs towards her room.
Spike hesitated for a moment unsure if this was the right thing to do. He looked into Dawn's eyes and wondering if it was the right thing for Dawn, and followed her up the stairs ignoring any noises from outside thinking, 'what could possibly go wrong!'
Spike and Dawn entered the Summer's house.
'I can't keep doing this ' Dawn said as she shuts the front door.
'And what you think I can?' Spike replied looking at her.
'I didn't mean it like that. I want to tell the others.' Dawn looked at Spike waiting for a reaction.
Spike looked at her shocked for even suggesting it.
'You're joking right; we're not doing that luv.'
'Why not?' Dawn questioned. 'I think they would understand.'
'Do you remember when they found out I am in love with Buffy? Do you remember how they reacted, how she reacted, how you reacted? I don't want to go through that again. You have no idea what it was like, being shut out. I didn't care about the others but being away from Buffy was hard. Do you think it would be any better with you? If they knew what we had done. If we told them do you think they would be fine with it? Say well ok I'm glad you have told us we're just going to go out and leave you two alone.' Dawn looked down to the floor. He always had the power to make her feel childish, a lot younger than he was.
'That's not what I meant,' she replied awkwardly.
'We have to end it, this thing it's ridiculous. It's not going to work. You're young, too young for me.' Spike said suddenly. Dawn looked up at him stunned by what he had just said. Spike was as shocked by his own outburst as Dawn was.
'So what? People have older boyfriends.'
'Not a century older.' Spike replied trying not to sound as mean as he felt.
'Angel was older; he and Buffy loved each other.' Dawn said trying not to let Spike see what he had just said had hurt her.
Spike flinched at the name Angel and then at the thought of the two of them together.
'And you see how well they worked out, him moving away.'
'That doesn't matter when two people really lov... want it to.' Dawn recovered from saying love. Although she was in love with Spike, she didn't think he felt the same way about her. Deep down she knew he was still in love with Buffy and as much as she tried she couldn't do anything about it.
'What if I don't want it to? Because...because of...' Spike said and began to trail off, trying not to hurt Dawn. He looked down to the floor ashamed.
'What? Because of Buffy, because you are still in love with her. Spike she's not coming back. You should know that by now. So answer me one question. Why are you still here? I know it's not because of me.'
Dawn had had enough. Spike looked at her, shocked by Dawn's sudden outburst. She loved Spike more than any guy she had ever known and he didn't even care about her. She had opened her heart to him about her mum, her sister and herself and all he cared about was Buffy. Had he been using her to be near to the memory of Buffy? She loved him so much and yet couldn't understand why he hadn't stopped loving her sister. Dawn would always be second best to Buffy in Spike's eyes. She knew that now, all that time when she had pretended Buffy no longer mattered to him and that she finally felt she belonged with someone but he had never felt the same way.
'Spike do you still think I'm a kid who doesn't know anything? Do you think I don't know you are in love with Buffy, with my sister? How could I not know Spike? The only reason you came back to look after me after Buffy's death was to be in her house, to see things that reminded you of her. It had nothing to do with me. I know that now.' Dawn felt the rage inside her increasing. She was still angry about Buffy dying and knew she was taking it out on Spike but couldn't seem to stop.
'That's not true, I came to look after you.' Spike replied honestly.
'So what you are my babysitter now.' Dawn said ironically annoyed that Spike wouldn't own up to the feelings he still had for Buffy.
'No, I came because I cared about you.' Spike answered again trying to be honest about what he felt for her.
'If you cared about me, how could you hurt me so much?' Dawn replied almost in a whisper, turning away.
Spike gently grabbed her by the shoulders forcing her to look into his eyes. His beautiful blue eyes. She looked deep into them searching for answers about how he felt but saw nothing.
'I wanted to protect you Dawn.'
'What from demons?' Dawn said sadly. Slowly regaining her anger she pushed Spike away. 'You're the demon Spike. Because since Buffy's death, you're the only demon that's hurt me. You're worse than any demon I've known. You say you are going to protect me but now I have never hurt so much. And it's not just because Buffy's gone, I would be able to cope with her going But it's all because of you Spike. You are the only thing I can think about. Just you. And I' m so happy when I'm with you and now it's all crashing down. That's why I'm hurting'
Dawn turned away from him as she began to cry; unable to look at the man she had fallen for, not wanting to see his reaction.
Spike looked at this young woman. She was wrong, he did care for her and it had nothing to do with Buffy. He really did care for Dawn in a way he wouldn't have believed before Buffy's death. Every second he spent with Dawn he felt like a better person, as if he deserved to be a part of Dawn's life. Every time he looked at Dawn he didn't see a young girl, the slayers sister and the key but as the woman he was falling for. He hated to see her upset like this. Seeing her crying was one of the hardest things he had ever done. He loved to see her smile, see her face light up while he was there, even over something silly.
He stood there not knowing what to do. All he wanted to do was put his arms around Dawn, kiss her and tell her everything would be ok, but he couldn't.
He loved her smile, her eyes, how she ate pizza while singing a stupid song about anchovies and the way she would watch cartoons while criticising the realism of a talking dog. Even with her back turned he could see her beautiful face, engraved in his mind. His feelings for Dawn were completely different from those of Buffy and although he might still love Buffy, his feelings for Dawn were there and they were real and they were returned. He had never dreamed that Dawn could think of anything more than a monster.
But he knew that she loved him and that meant more to him than anything. She was different from Buffy, her own person. She was sure of herself and he loved her for it. This thought shocked Spike as the realisation of what he was thinking and what he felt sunk in. A smile spread across his face, he loved Dawn.
He turned Dawn around so that they were face to face. Spike saw the tears fall down her face and knew she had never looked more beautiful. Spike wiped the tears from her cheek with his hand and stared longingly into her eyes. Her beauty took his breath away and he looked at her trying to find the courage to tell her how he felt.
'Spike?' Dawn asked, she loved this man and in his arms she felt right but knew this feeling wouldn't last.
'Shhhh' Spike said putting his finger to her lips and then began to kiss her. Dawn kissed him back placing her arms around his waist and moved closer into him until she felt completely surrounded by just him as if there was nothing else left in the world except them. As Dawn moved towards him Spike felt her warm body leaning on him, depending on him and knew he needed to tell her.
'Dawn...' Spike said still holding her close to him trying to tell her how he felt.
'Spike, I don't know if you want to hear this but I need to tell you. I'm not expecting anything but I need you to know this.' Spike looked at her a little confused. His face was so handsome in the light Dawn felt her heart melt as she looked into his eyes.
'Spike I think I'm falling in love with you.' Dawn didn't wait for a reaction just leaned in and kissed him. Knowing she had done the right thing for herself as he began to kiss her back. As she pulled out of the kiss she looked at him smiled, held his hand and walked into the hall.
'Do want me to go?' Spike asked puzzled.
'No,' Dawn replied, smiling at how sweet and innocent the vampire could be. Still holding his hand, she began to lead him upstairs towards her room.
Spike hesitated for a moment unsure if this was the right thing to do. He looked into Dawn's eyes and wondering if it was the right thing for Dawn, and followed her up the stairs ignoring any noises from outside thinking, 'what could possibly go wrong!'