==*Racing Time*==
(A/N) OMG I can't believe I didn't post the Author's Note before! I feel so retorted!! AHH! I went back to print my chapter and I realized I had forgotten! Sorry guys! Well I hope you like this chappie. And I also hope I get more reviews than last time. I only got four for my last chapter. L . Well maybe I'll get more for this one. Until next time…
~Love from Lizzie
(Disclaimer) Nope none of this is mine except the story plot and crap. Even the song isn't mine. Damn it!
~*~
Chapter 8: Can't Keep Pretending
Ginny didn't look back, she couldn't look back. All she was able to do was run, and run she did. Her feet were pounding on the ground hard as she ran with all her might. All she knew was that she had to get away, away from the horror she left behind. What had come over her to make her do that? What had happened to make her attack someone, one of her best friends? Tears started to fall down her cheeks as she thought about Hermione's cold blank face as she lay silently on the ground. She had done that to her. She, Ginny Weasley had just cursed one of her best friends, Hermione Granger, because she was trying to help her with her problems. But then again Hermione was acting strange. Was she maybe...
But no! No of course not! Not Hermione!
...Right?
Before she could think on the subject any longer, a dark figure stepped out of nowhere and Ginny ran head long into them, whoever they were. The impact threw her off balance and she fell to the ground clutching her side where she was struck.
Ginny sat up rubbed the back of her neck and came face to face with the very person she least likely wanted to see at that moment. He was sitting there gazing at her with questioning emerald green eyes not turning away from her for one second.
"Harry!" Ginny wheezed trying to catch her breath. "You- have- to- help. 'Mione- been- hurt." she managed to say between deep breaths.
"Hermione?" Harry said looking frightened as well as flustered. He began to look panicked and began to stumble horribly in his words. "W-Where i-is she?"
Ginny stumbled to her feet trying to ignore the sharp pain in her side as she pulled Harry to his feet. She kept a firm grip on his arm and pulled him roughly to the place she had just left. The place she actually dreaded to return to. She didn't want to have to look at Hermione's face again, not after she knew that it was she who did it to her.
"Ginny, what happened?" Harry huffed trying to keep up with Ginny's fast pace. "Is she alright?"
Ginny took larger strides forward and continued to remain silent. She really didn't want to think about the answer to either one of those questions right now. She just wanted to get him over to her and leave as quickly as possible. She'd never be able to let anyone know what exactly had happened, that she had cursed Hermione. If anyone ever found out she had done it, she'd surely be expelled from Hogwarts and maybe even sentenced to Azkaban. Would they keep someone her age in there too?
And the second question that escaped Harry's lips burned a hole in Ginny's heart. Exactly how hurt was Hermione? She hadn't even paused to find out. Maybe she wasn't... She couldn't bare to say it even in her mind. It was too harsh a word to befall such an innocent person such as Hermione.
Ginny could just make out Hermione still lying on the ground in the exact spot where she had left her. Harry took sight of her too and threw himself down beside her limp body. Ginny froze on the sight of Hermione's face, expressionless and empty. She couldn't bare to look at her any longer. A chill crawled its way up and down Ginny's spine. She couldn't do this to herself she had to look at her she had to know if she really was gone.
She walked a few paces forward towards the lifeless Hermione and the panic-stricken Harry who was kneeling beside her. "Is she...alright?" She couldn't say it. It was too much to admit outloud.
Harry sighed relieved. "She's been knocked out, but I think she'll be okay." He muttered checking for Hermione's pulse again. Ginny felt the tension that had grown so rapidly in her chest loosen slightly, but only slightly. Now she had other problems to work out. What would Hermione tell them, tell everyone? What if she woke up and told Harry about what she had done, that it had been she who had tried a Unforgivable Curse on one of her best friends.
"It could have been worse thought." Harry said looking a lot less fearful. "From the looks of this bruise on her head she could have suffered serious head injury. Let's hope she didn't." Harry looked up at Ginny suspiciously, with skeptically raised eyebrows.. "Do you know what happened? Did you see anything? Anything at all?"
She shook her head slowly side to side never once taking her eyes off of Hermione. She was so lucky she was still alive. Just what might have happened if she had been practicing the Dark Arts longer, even she didn't want to think about it. Ginny looked up at Harry again to find him looking at her still with a funny look in his eyes. He ran a nervous hand through his hair and looked down at the ground blushing furiously.
"I-I-I'll go get some help." Harry muttered sounding slightly infuriated at something then took off towards the reception hall.
Ginny knelt down by Hermione's side and held Hermione's hand in her own as tears swelled in her eyes. She had never meant to do that to her and now that she though about it, it sounded so selfless that she was worried about her consequences.
"I'm so sorry, Hermione." Ginny sobbed as tears of guilt spilled from her eyes onto Hermione's sparkling red dress. "I don't understand why I ever did that to you. I never would have tried to hurt you, but I couldn't control myself. Maybe you were right. Maybe I am being possessed. I'm so confused and now is the time I finally need you to help me, but you're not here. I'm so sorry Hermione. I don't know what I can do to repay you." Ginny hugged Hermione to her chest and let her tears fall on Hermione's shoulder.
"Well first of all could you please let go? You're kind of choking me." a voice said suddenly. Ginny gasped and dropped Hermione's head back to the ground as Hermione's chocolate brown eyes stared up at her own and a smile came across Hermione's face.
"Well, hello there." Hermione said cheerfully still smiling ever more.
"H-Her-Hermione?" Ginny stammered quite surprised. She gazed at Hermione questioningly and Hermione, surprisingly did the same.
"What?" Hermione asked her face scrunched up in concentration, looking quite bewildered. "What in the world is a Hermione?"
Ginny felt as if she were going to cry again. Hermione had undoubtedly suffered form brain damage and it was all her fault.
"You're Hermione!" Ginny squeaked as tears started streaming down her cheeks just as she predicted. "That's your name! You're Hermione!
"Oh!" Hermione exclaimed in utter surprise. "Oh, I'm Hermione! How silly of me to forget!" Hermione laughed out loud sitting up again and staring at her blankly. "So... who are you?"
Ginny broke out into sobbing tears pleading inwardly for her friends sanity. She managed to stammer, anyway, her name for the poor girl. "G-Ginny! M-My name's G-Ginny!" She held her face in her hands and let her tears break free once they were out of Hermione's sight. Hermione, strangely enough, began patting her awkwardly on the back and said in a whisper, "Look, Jennifer! Look at those strange people running towards us. I wonder what they're doing out here so late."
Ginny looked up, still blurry eyed with tears, and saw Harry, Ron, and her mum and dad racing towards them across the black lawn from the reception hall as Ginny sat crying silently on the ground near Hermione who was waving at them as they approached.
Ron ran faster than the others and slid right next to Ginny grabbing Hermione in his arms and holding her tight. She patted him on the head like a little girl would a small puppy and he gazed at her skeptically.
"Hermione, are you alright?" he asked her as Harry and the Weasleys caught up with him.
Hermione looked around aimlessly then realized at once he was addressing her and she jumped with surprise. "Oh you were talking to me weren't you? Oh yes I'm fine, but my friend Jennifer here has been crying for a while now. So who are you anyway? You must be her brother since you both have red hair and freckles." She said this all really quickly and Ron continued to stare at her utterly confused.
He shook his head rapidly. "Hermione?" her said gazing at her worriedly.
"Yes, that's my name! How'd you know that?" Hermione nodded smiling greatly. "It's very pretty, isn't it?"
Mrs. Weasley knelt down and put her hand to Hermione's head as if to check for a fever.
"She's lost her memory!" Ginny cried unexpectedly from off to the side. She had her arms wrapped tightly around her knees which were pulled up to her chest. Tears were still visibly sliding down her cheeks as they had been doing often that past week. "She can't remember ANYTHING!"
Ron looked from Hermione to Ginny and back again. He finally seemed to realize what was going on. "Hermione, it's me, Ron, your boyfriend. Don't you remember me at all?"
Hermione eyes squinted in concentration and she ran her hands through Ron's red hair. "I love your hair!" se squealed high pitched. "It's so... soft!" Ron shook his head in defeat and stood from the ground again, leaving Hermione sitting there, pouting as if she had just been denied a real treat.
"I think we should take her to St. Mungo's just in case there is any serious damage." Mr. Weasley said as Mrs. Weasley pulled Hermione to her feet. Ginny remained on the ground, peeping guiltily over her knees at everyone.
"Ginny, dear, aren't you going to come with us?" Mrs. Weasley asked as she patted her daughter lovingly on the back.
"Yeah it might be fun, Jennifer!" Hermione laughed excitedly.
Ginny watched Hermione jumping up and down with excitement sadly then shook her head. "No, I'm going to go home. I need to think for a bit."
Mrs. Weasley smiled at Ginny sadly, nodded then grabbed Hermione's hand and Disaparated to the hospital.
Mr. Weasley walked over and kissed Ginny lightly on her head and whispered in her ear. "Be careful when you Apparate and remember that we'll be waiting for you if you change your mind." then he too Disaparated.
Ron and Harry stood by Ginny staring awkwardly around themselves. Ron looked in a state of distress and kept pacing back and forth while Harry looked confused and in a state of disbelief. Before long Ron seemed to come to a conclusion within himself and stopped pacing but instead looked from Harry to Ginny each in turn. He opened his mouth to say something then shut it again quickly undoubtedly lost for words. He hung his head then bit his bottom lip in concentration lip.
"I'm going to go check on Hermione." Ron said suddenly and waved himself off before he too popped out of sight.
Harry sat down next to Ginny quietly and pulled at a piece of grass on the ground by his side. He looked at her through the corner of his eye and could see her long red hair fallen in her face. Just the sight of her twisted his stomach into knots and he felt like punching himself in the ribs.
Why did he keep doing this to himself? Why did he keeping pushing himself to her when he knew all she wanted was for him to go away? Why couldn't he just forget about her and move on with his life?
He knew, of course, why, but never would he admit it out loud again. Hearing its finality would bring back all his pain of knowing he'd never have her again.
When he saw her there with Seamus about an hour ago he knew that she was over him and she'd always be able to find someone better than himself, someone who could love her like he couldn't. Someone who wasn't cursed to live the life of torture like he was forced to live every day of his life. The very same curse that made him give up the only person who ever made him feel like he was an actual person instead of a side-show circus act, like as if he were worth more than just a famous name.
But as he looked at her now, he wondered how much longer it would take before he exploded. He knew it wasn't far away. He couldn't do it any longer; he couldn't face the fact that he couldn't hold something that he loved so dearly as he did Ginny. It just wasn't fair. Harry knew in his heart why he tortured himself so much and he couldn't say it aloud, but in his mind it rung out so clearly, he loved her. Funny as it was, he just couldn't tell her, or anyone of that matter, that he loved her. He had to keep on pretending he didn't so that maybe by not admitting it to them it would ease his own pain, and he to may believe he truly was over her.
But he was tired of pretending he didn't love her anymore. It was too much for him to hide. He was sure that every time he looked at her, the same look he always used to have on his face was shining like the sun; that same look he always had when she had held him in her arms. He couldn't tell himself it was over, he couldn't convince his heart that she was really gone. He knew that if he would finally admit it he'd die. She was a part of him that was so vital to his well being that he was sure if his heart had finally realized she wasn't there anymore he would actually die. And of course he'd never want that, not when he could still tell himself that it wasn't true and everyone was just playing a silly game with his head.
Harry looked at Ginny as she sat there hugging her knees. He could tell by the look on her face that she knew he was there too and she was trying at her best to pretend he wasn't; but he was done with pretending. He was finished with saying he didn't love her any more when he knew it in his heart he did with all his body and soul.
"Ginny." He whispered looking at her worriedly. She made no notion to even recognize that he was even there, but Harry pretended he didn't notice. "Listen, I understand that you don't have feelings for me anymore, but that doesn't mean you can't talk to me anymore. If you have anything you want to say, anything you need to tell me or anyone as a matter of fact, I'm here for you. And I don't care if you don't feel the same way, but I still love you, Gin."
Fury and obvious rage built in Ginny's face and she was soon as red as ever. She lifted up her hand and struck it hard against Harry's cheek. He winced with pain but still managed to smile a small shaken smile. She glared at him through her cold brown eyes that used to look at him with deep affection and it made Harry's smile turn upside down into a plagued yearning.
"Don't you EVER say that to me again, Harry James Potter! You NEVER loved me, and I will NEVER love you again as long as I live! Don't you EVER forget that!" She seethed through clenched jaws. She turned her entire body around away from him. He watched as her back began to shake, and Harry was almost positive that tears probably filled her eyes.
Harry stood up sadly and began to walk back to the hall.
"The offer is still open if you need me." Harry said in a low whisper as he trudged off. He could feel Ginny's eyes baring into his back but he couldn't make himself turn around and face her.
But he didn't care now what happened. The pain on the left side of his face meant nothing to him as long as he could finally say it with confidence out loud; he loved Ginny Weasley and he would love her forever, till the day he died and even afterward. He didn't have to pretend it wasn't there anymore, that he was finished with her because he knew for a fact it wasn't true. he had said it outloud and he'd say it again if he wanted. It didn't matter how many slaps across the face he'd have to bare in his life nor how many socks in the stomach he would get every time he saw her with someone else as long as he had that feeling he had every time he thought about her. His love for her was the only thing that kept him going and he wasn't about to give that up. He was tired of pretending...
...And that was final.
~*~
ANYMORE
I can't hide the way I feel
About you...
Anymore
I can't hold the hurt inside
Keep the pain out of my eyes
Anymore
My tears no longer waiting
My resistance ain't that strong
My mind keeps recreating
A life with you alone
And I'm tired of pretending
That I don't love you anymore
Let me make one last appeal
To show you how I feel
About you...
'Cause there's no one else I swear
Holds a candle anywhere next to you
My heart can't take the beating
Not having you to hold
A small voice keeps repeating
Deep inside my soul
It says "I can't keep pretending...
I don't love you anymore."
I've got to take the chance
Or let it pass by
If I expect to get on with my life
My tears no longer waiting
Oh, my resistance ain't that strong
My mind keeps recreating
A life with you alone
And I'm tired of pretending
I don't love you anymore
Anymore...
Anymore...
~*~
(A/N) WELL DON"T JUST SIT THERE! REVIEW!! Lol. Just joshin ya!
(Discussion topic of the day) If you could change the color of the sky what color would it be?
(Quote of the Day)
~If you like me good for you, if you don't I don't give a f#%&
(Summary of Ch.9) Ron's getting upset over Hermione's condition, Hermione's asking for her mum, and Harry has another vision of Voldemort in his sleep. Pretty nice chappie.
(Thanx to the FOUR people who reviewed!)
~VoicezWithin- Okay okay just calm down and everything will be okay. LOL. First of all I pretty much knew that someone was gunna drop out because of the whole Hermione dying thing that's why I put it. I turly believe your fibbing when you said you wouldn't. Don't lie! LOL! I dropped a fic because of it too. I was reading this awesome story than all of a sudden they killed Ron! I closed the page right away and I swear I started crying! LOL! It's just so sad you know. I can't do that too Hermione. Come on!
~RusselGrl15- I worked really hard on the last chapter. I'm so glad you liked it J ! Oh and I know! I'd NEVER grid against a boy with all of my family around. That's just disgusting! Ewww! But then again actually it depends on how hot the dude is. **wink wink** hehehe. Hope you liked the chapter!
~cristen- Holes is such an awesome show and Shia is so hot on it! Don't you think so? Yeah it was an 8 page write. It does go by quick when you read it though. Thanx for reviewing!
~xzaire- Well Ron doesn't exactly cry and he doesn't kill Ginny because he doesn't know it was her so I guess that works out that problem huh? Thanx for reviewing! J