Lavan Chitward and Kalira, his lifebonded Companion, are offered the chance to return to Valdemar again as Heralds or Companions. They will be together again, but they will not know each other. Sorry if I'm stepping on someone's toes with this, as I know there is already a fic similar to this out there. It wont be the same though, I think. This is my first story, so be nice.
Oh. The characters that are unique to this story (E.g. Kelsin, Laran) are mine. Anything else (Kalira, Lan) isn't. Read, Review, and I'll love you forever!
Chapter 1: EndingsFire exploded down the mountain, an avalanche of flames.
Lan lay over Kalira's body, the dragon unleashed, unfettered, free to ravage as it willed. All of his grief, rage and hatred filled it and gave it a power beyond anyone's direst nightmare.
So long as it consumed him, he was beyond caring.
:Wait for me, beloved. I'm coming. But first, I will avenge you.:
He closed his eyes, gave himself over to the dragon, and set the world, and himself with it, aflame.
Agony such as Lan had never known before ripped through his body, tearing him apart until he thought he could surely stand no more. His vision lit with orange, then went black. He wondered where the light was, the bright Haven that everyone said awaited a Herald at the end of his earthly journey. He seemed to be suspended in blazing agony for an eternity or more. Then, the pain stopped, stopped so suddenly and completely that it was hard to remember that it had ever existed. As though something was trying to make up for the pain of death, he suddenly and obscurely felt joyful. Happy, the kind of happiness that you can only feel when you are totally at peace with nature and yourself. Happiness to the exclusion of all other emotions.
Once, upon Lan's first meeting with Elenor, he had asked her how it felt to be a MindHealer, an Empath, to be wide open to the feelings of others. She had told him "Before I learned how to shield, it was overpowering. Suddenly, I'd feel something I shouldn't be feeling, that made no sense at all, and I couldn't block it out."
Lan hadn't understood at the time. It had seemed impossible to be so fully dominated by an emotion not your own that you couldn't stop it. Now, however, Elenor's words came back to echo in his mind as the pain was replaced with a delirious joy.
'I am dead' Lan thought to himself 'I shouldn't be happy' He was, though. He was happy as he hadn't been since the moment he was Chosen by Kalira. Kalira. He wondered where she was. If the Havens were your hearts desire, surely she would be waiting for him there. Maybe she wasn't. Maybe, after what had happened, she didn't want to see him anymore.
Suddenly, Pol's words of only a few months before rang in his ears. "She knows that Heralds and Companions can't escape danger, don't you, little girl." No, surely Kalira would understand that he hadn't wanted to be in the war, hadn't wanted her to be hurt.
From the moment he had heard about the war, Lan had feared this, this ending. Now, alone in the blackness, he looked back, over his life. Poor Tuck, Elenor, Macy, Pol. He had left so many people behind. He hoped that they didn't grieve too long for him.
A pinprick of light suddenly appeared right in the middle on his field of vision, distracting him from his gloomy thoughts. It expanded slowly, bathing him in warm, clear light. He took one involuntary step toward it, and it enfolded him in its embrace. He knew nothing more.
Candlemarks later, it seemed, Lan blinked his eyes open and found himself lying in a field of verdant grass, lush and green. A MindVoice that he had despaired of ever hearing again echoed inside his mind.
:Up you get, sleepy-head: Kalira sent, amusement tingeing her MindVoice a sunny yellow. :I thought you were going to sleep all day!:
"Where are we?" Lan asked. "Is this the Havens?"
:Yes, dearheart, it is: Kalira sent in a bluer sounding voice. :We could stay here forever, you know. Be together the way we never could be before.:
Lan blushed, and, for the first time since their arrival, looked at Kalira. She had never truly been a horse, but now she was not one, even in shape. She appeared to be a human female of about 16. Her hair was long and chestnut, waving down to just past her waist, with a single streak of white hanging down below one temple. She was tall and thin, with full, red lips, and twinkling green eyes.
"You're beautiful, Kalira." Lan said, momentarily distracted. "But wait, why did you sound like that? Don't you want to stay here with me?"
:Of course I do, love. Don't ever doubt it.: Kalira sent. :We must make our choice though. The Heralds need us, and it is out duty to aid them.:
"Go back?" Lan faltered. "But, we wouldn't be together, would we?"
:That is where the choice comes in.: Kalira sent. :We would be together as true lovers, if we were Heralds, but we would have no memories of our previous lives. If we were both Companions, we would know, but our duty would be to the other Heralds and our own Chosen first.:
"What if we went back the same way as before?" Lan asked. "We would still have the Herald bond, if nothing else."
:That is one way: Kalira sent. :It is probably the only way that we can be together as we were before. However, there will be much pain as well. One of us must live knowing of our past lives, and knowing that the other cannot share in the knowledge. Living together, closer than anyone can be, but also apart, unable to fully join together. A lifebond can be agony when left unfulfilled. Yet, I also think that this is the best path.:
"W-when do we have to go?" Lan asked, his voice faltering a little.
:As soon as we can, dearest. Now, in fact, would be best. They need us more than you can know.:
Lan reached out to Kalira silently, with both mind and body, wanting to share their love in a way that would be barred to them for one long lifetime, at least.
:No, Lan.: Kalira said regretfully as she kissed him chastely on the cheek. :Do not create more for us to mourn, dearest. There will be enough to miss already. Now, are you ready? We must go. I do not know which of us will bear the burden of memory, but we will always be together, and remember that I will always love you, no matter what form we are in.:
The light that had been such comfort to Lan seemed to grow misty again, almost fogged, as it contracted to a pinprick, then nothing. The grass faded to a washed out green, then disappeared all together. Lan floated again in an eternity of darkness. For a while, he could feel Kalira's soothing MindTouch beside him, but soon that too was gone, left behind in the seemingly endless darkness.