Bear with me while I figure out how to format this stuff. What's on my screen doesn't seem to always be what's getting posted on fiction press.
On another discouraging note, somehow, what starts as a nice, four page chapter that looks like it's going to come out all nice and long, seems to end up looking really short when I post it. I'll try to write more in the future, I think.
On a nicer note, I got two whole reviews! *is happy*
Cat: *grins* Why thank you. So nice to know my language skills are appreciated. I generally get the look when I use them in the outside world. About the description thing, I'm afraid I'm not very good at describing things, but I shall try harder next time. And yes, it's going to kick off soon, I think. The chapters will get longer too, I promise.
Crinzin: Thank you, again! I'm still glowing from the praise. My head may never shrink back down to its proper size. As for the italics thing, just put them in like you would for any Word document, but when you go to save, instead of letting it save as a .doc, select .htm/.html instead and it should be fine. I just discovered this trick myself, actually, and I'm quite happy about it ;)
Chapter 2: BeginningsLan knew nothing more for some time. His thoughts came more as vague feelings, not really worded. He wondered why there was so much darkness. It was not a bad sort of darkness, it was warm, cozy, safe-feeling. Used to sight for so long, however, such long periods of blackness were hard for him to tolerate. He wondered, abstractly, if this was how Pol had felt after his vision had been taken by the Karsite assassin. With a gift of Thoughtsensing far stronger than any he had had before, he could feel the presence of other Gifted around, but he couldn't recognize any of the minds he Touched.
After so long of blackness, and only occasional small movement, Lan was surprised to feel like he was going somewhere. Sunbursts of color danced across his eyes. He blinked rapidly, trying to fix his vision, but it remained distinctly odd. He could see almost everything to all sides of his head, although it was mostly brown, wooden walls, and lots of hay, but when he tried to look forward, all he could see was a peculiar blind spot. He wobbled on his four spindly, hoofed legs as he realized that not only was he much smaller than he was accustomed to, but that he was a Companion!
He looked up, to see a Herald, in slightly grubby Whites, looking down at him with a look of great pleasure.
"Welcome to the world, little one." She said in a welcoming way. Her eyes unfocused as she Sent in Private mode to the larger Companion mare, now curled protectively around her foal. :So, you're a mother now at last, eh, Fara?: She winked and patted her Companion on the nose. :You going to be ok? I'm for bed now, I think, but I'll be right here if you need anything. Or, do you need me to stay up with you for a while longer?:
The Herald proceeded to create a comfy looking nest out of blankets near Fara's stall.
:Its just like back in my trainee-days, when I had foal watch.:
:So PRETEND you're on foal watch, Chosen, and go back to sleep! We'll be fine!: Fara sent a stream of wordless reassurance down their bond. :Sleep!:
As both Lan and Fara felt the Herald's Presence fade away into sleep, Fara turned to her foal. :I imagine you are a bit confused right now. Care to tell me who you were, before this?:
:I was, I was, Umm.: Lan was confused. Before now, his memories of Lavan Chitward, called Firestorm, had been crystal clear, almost as though he had never died at all. Now, he tried to remember his name, and found that he couldn't. :Lan, Laran, Ch-ch-ch something.:
:No, dear, Laran is your name now. Although, from what I know of history, well, it is rather pointless to speculate on such a matter, but does the name Lavan Chitward ring any bells?: She reached up to nose the bridle bells on her formal tack, hanging above her, for emphasis. Lan startled in sudden recognition. Without waiting for him to reply, Fara continued :It's perfectly normal, you know. Our lives are devoted to our Chosen, and the Heralds. We have no time for mourning our past existences. I suspect that our memories are purposefully blurred when we return as Companions. The only reason they do not delete them all together is that we need our experience to advise our Chosen.:
Suddenly, Lan remembered. Kalira! :My-my Lifebonded. We died together. She said we would meet again, and love each other. That we would-: He concentrated on remembering the memories that seemed now only pleasant dreams. :That we would have the Herald-Companion bond, if nothing else.:
:So she means to be your Chosen, then? I've heard that They in the Havens will sometimes arrange it for Lifebonded Heralds, when the Bond is so close that living apart would be painful.: Fara nodded in sympathy. :I've never had a Lifebond, so I wouldn't know personally, but a Lifebond can be agony. My poor, poor Chosen. His Lifebonded nearly suicided with him. They say Companions never make mistakes, but I will probably be remembered as the one who did. Ah well, that was many long lifetimes ago, although I wouldn't be surprised if that is why we were brought together. Having loved your Lifebonded, the one you were meant to be with forever, then losing them to horrible mischance, there is something I can sympathize with. Anyway, you may be older than you look, but you are still young to the world in THIS lifetime. Sleep, dear. I think we both need rest.:
Fara curled up tighter around her foal, and soon, Lan felt her mind, too, retreat into the darkness of sleep.
Lan, however, could not yet find any respite in slumber. He was still dazed by all that had happened to him. He stared at a small knothole in the wall, glorying in his newly returned sight and the sensation of soft, warm hay cradling his body, but thinking as well. "The Companion who made a mistake." Could it be? Could she really be Gala, Companion of Tylendel, Herald Mage Vanyel's Lifebond?
The next morning, Herald Nera was the first to wake. She teased Fara into wakefulness. :So, horse, how does it feel to have responsibilities now?: She gestured to the small Companion foal, who had finally fallen asleep, head pillowed on his mother's flank.
:We have always had responsibilities, Chosen. It is what we do.: Fara nuzzled her Chosen, still shaken by what she had almost admitted to Lan. :The shadow of failure never quite leaves, even after all these years.:
Fara was speaking more to herself that to her Chosen, the jest of Nera's comment flying utterly past her in her introspective, morose mood. As such, she was shocked when Nera answered :What do you mean, Fara? We have never displeased the Heralds with our performance of our duties. The entire circle agrees that we are up there with the best circuit riders.:
Fara turned to her Herald :Chosen, there are some things that you cannot know, even soulbound as we are. Perhaps one day you will discover them for yourself.: And with that, their link vibrating with the rebuff and a tinge of gentle regret, Fara blocked her Chosen out of her mind.
Fara watched her Chosen walk slowly from the stable, after putting out grain for Fara and Lan in an almost mechanical way. Nera didn't know how close the Herald bond was, didn't know that even while shielding Nera out, there was no way for Fara to entirely block Nera, or the other way around. With a mental recoil, Fara remembered that while a single fact or idea could be blocked off from the bond, an emotion could not. Oh, how well she remembered feeling 'Lendel's raw grief for his brother, and passing it off as a natural emotion of mourning that would soon pass over, leaving behind only the cheerful 'Lendel who had won her heart, her true Chosen.
Fara would never tell her Chosen how clearly she could feel the ache of rejection, of rebuff, emanating from her mind. There were some things, Fara reflected, that it was better for Heralds not to know until they themselves sought the Havens. Now, when Nera remembered this morning, she would likely remember only the rebuff, the slam of snapped up shields and fractured link, and not the information that her Companion couldn't tell her.
Nera would never know how much it hurt Fara, to always hold back, never be able to have the complete sharing that kept the Heralds stable. Fara knew all of Nera. The inner recesses of her soul. She seldom looked at Nera, physically, her mental impression was as clear in Fara's mind as her own. Yet, for Fara, it could never be the same. As 'Lendel once said, a Herald Companion relationship was never quite a relationship of equals. Companions were more than their Chosen could ever know.
Lan started to wake up, and the sudden presence of his mind awoke Fara to the present. :Breakfast is served!: She caroled cheerfully, pointing to the bins of grain hanging from the door of their stall. :And then, you get the grand tour of Companions Field. I have to introduce you to Rolan anyway.:
:Rolan?: Lan sent, confused. :I-I think I know that name.:
:Yes dear, you probably do. There are around four Companions that act as the Monarchs Own Companion. They take turns at it, and they always keep their names when they come back to Valdemar from the Havens.:
Lan was soon distracted by the food, but Fara wasn't. After wolfing down a small portion of breakfast as fast as she could, she reached for Nera through their bond. :Chosen?: She sent tentatively, thinning her shields again so that their bond Felt whole. :I'm sorry I blocked you out like that. I was just remembering some things. I have a longer past than you know, more than that, I cannot tell you.:
:Aww, Fara, it's fine, love. We Heralds know that Companions are more than even we can see.:
Fara felt Nera's presence leave her mind, although it was not gone completely, she was very aware of Nera, could feel her total love and forgiveness, and was thankful that Nera wasn't going to pursue the subject. 'The past is dead, let it lie in peace,' Fara told herself firmly. She forced a smile into her MindVoice, and turned to Lan.
:So, Laran, are you ready to meet the herd?:
Lan turned, somehow recognizing the unfamiliar name as his own, but not knowing how he did so. :Sure. May as well get it over with.:
:Don't worry, it won't be that bad.: Fara led Lan out into Companions field. It was a sunny day out, and Lan reveled in the feeling of the warming sunlight against his coat, after being in the dark for so long. The sky was bright blue, like a spring flower, and the grass was green and luxurious.
:It's tasty, too.: Fara remarked to her offspring, startled into a better mood by her joy in seeing him discover the taste of grass.
:Its too bad I never knew how good this tasted when I was a Herald! It's almost as good at Cook's special fry-ups!: Lan remarked happily, little knowing that the grass would have tasted, well, like grass, had he been in his previous form. His mood was sobered a bit as he realized that he was the only one in the field who had ever been to one of those fry ups.
He experienced a sudden sense of disorientation. Sure, this was his world, but it was so far beyond the time he had lived in that he may as well have been on another planet. The moment passed, however, and his old memories receded into the bottom of his mind, so be recalled only in dreams, and faint, hazy memories.
Fara nudged him playfully, startling him out of his thoughts. :Well, you can eat as much as you want later, but for now, we have to introduce you to Rolan.:
Lan had galloped Companion back before, of course, but being the one that was doing the galloping was a new experience all together. It seemed almost instinctive, the way his hooves flowed effortlessly over the hard ground, his long white tail and mane streaming out behind him, like a picture in a book.
He could sense Fara's almost overwhelming grief and terror as they neared the Grove, as much as she tried to shield it from him. She shied away from entering it, but, with an effort of will, she forced herself to continue, leading Lan through a thicket of trees and out into a decrepit and falling apart temple. Standing by the temple was Rolan, as powerful and ageless as ever.
Rolan seemed to know why they were there. :So, this is your youngling, Fara?: He asked in a MindVoice that crunched like dried leaves in the wind, heavy with responsibility and wisdom. Rolan bent his neck down to look into Lan's eyes.
Lan thought nervously that he hoped this wasn't going to be a repeat of their last meeting. His shielding must have been a bit erratic though, for Rolan sent him the mental equivalent of a smile and a reassuring pat-someone like Rolan would never do such an undignified thing as grin- and projected into Lan's mind.
:Fear not, youngling, there is no need for such extreme measures as we were forced to take before. I need only to know you, as chief disciplinarian of our Herd, it is my duty to know every Companion in the field.:
Then, in private mode :You have been given a hard path to walk, Laran. May you do so in grace.:
Rolan turned then and slowly walked away from the pair of Companions, apparently having decided that there was nothing to say. Lan was thinking that he was getting heartily sick of everyone telling him how hard his life was going to be. 'As long as I know that Kalira and I will find each other, my life will be enough.'
To distract himself from Rolan's uncomfortable prediction, he asked Fara :Fara, what does it feel like to Choose? How will I know?.:
Fara thought about this for a long moment, saying finally :Although we are the final authority on who is Chosen, we know far less about the process than our Heralds think. This may be the only case in which we are actually less than what our Heralds think we are.: She sent a mental snigger down their connection. :A moon or so before your Chosen is ready, probably in about ten years, you will start to feel restless, as though you have to be somewhere. It may take several false starts before it comes to a peak. When it does, you will feel as though you simply MUST be somewhere, as though there is no other option than to go. Be sure to inform Rolan before you do, then go to the stable. They will know to tack you up. When I Chose Nera, I left the gates and didn't try to go anywhere in particular. I just chose directions at random. Then, I saw her. She lived in one of the middle class houses. Neither rich nor poor. She was sitting up in a tree, reading some history or another. I just looked at her, and she looked perfect to me. I touched her mind, and it was as if she was a key, fitting perfectly into the lock of my mind, completing us both. Then I knew that there would never again be loneliness for either of us. I nosed the branch she was sitting on, she looked down, straight into my eyes, and, well, you must remember what happens next.:
Lan sighed. :That sounds so perfect. And my Kalira is out there somewhere, waiting for me. She must be there already, if she is to be in adolescence when I Choose her.: He saw Fara's doubtful look. :I will Choose her, won't I? It WILL be her?:
:Yes and no, really.: Fara said, with the air of one giving bad news :She will be there, and you will love her doubly, both as your Chosen and as your Lifebonded, but she will not be herself, as she was before. You will know her, but she will not know you. She may remember a very little, if the Lifebond is strong enough, but I don't know that you understand the pain when you remember, and she may not even be able to sense the Lifebond.:
:Just as long as I have her, Fara. I need her. As long as I have her, I will deal with the pain.: Lan replied firmly, not at all sure in his own mind, but putting on a brave face for the other Companion.
:As you will, youngling. Now,: She said, changing the subject. :We must schedule you for classes. You will need to know a great deal before you are ready to Choose. After all, as soon as you Choose, you will be focused on helping your Chosen through the Collegium, and, of course, your own classes will stop.:
:Back to school?: Lan groaned, only half feigning. :I thought the good thing about this would be ESCAPING school.:
:I suspect it will be different from any other school you have attended, love. Mostly, you know the History and Mathematics and such, enough to suffice your need. You can fight and ride well, but those skills are suited to being Lavan Chitward. You must have new riding and fighting skills to enable Companion Laran to protect his Chosen as much as need be.: Fara explained. :You are the only Companion foal right now, thank the Gods, it isn't wartime, and we won't need to be replacing as many lost Heralds. You will have one on one battle training with Rolan, until he is sure that you can defend yourself and your Chosen. If there is need, my Nera can be your rider, for some actual drills. Fancy riding will be taught by the Riding teacher's Companion, Eilin. Of course, it will be a few moons before you need to worry about taking classes. You need time to get settled. Sort of like Orientation for new Companions.
Lan sighed, at least partially resigned to the idea of school. This would be a completely new area for him, having never been horse-shaped before, and it might even be a little exciting.