La Femme Chikara: Just so you know, every time I'm using the actual script
I'll tell you; otherwise I'm translating it into more understandable
language. Enjoy! (PS if you read chp. one—and you did, right—you can skip
the part up until Tien points to the ghost, because it's the same, word-for-
word, as the preview)
It was a dark night on the battlements as the guards—Piccolo/Bernardo, and Krillin/Francisco—stood at their posts.
"So what am I supposed to say?" Krillin asked.
"Shut up! I have to say 'who's there' first! Who's there?!"
Krillin glanced down at his script and attempted to make out the barely- legible writing. "Long...live the...I think it says 'King'" he slowly pronounced as Piccolo became more impatient.
"Kri-I mean, Bernardo, right?" Piccolo growled.
"Yup," was Krillin's cheery reply, "how are you doing?"
"It's cold and my shift was over a year ago!" Piccolo snarled, "Can't you at least show up on time once in a while?!"
"Well, I'm here now—you can leave if you want..."
"Gladly; it isn't as if anything's going to happen here anyway! And if you see Yamcha or Tien around tell them to get lost!"
Interestingly enough, Horatio/Yamcha and Tien/Marcellus happened to be walking along the walls at that very moment. "Did I hear my name?" Yamcha asked.
"G'night Piccolo!" Krillin called out before Piccolo, Tien, and Yamcha walked away. As the three made small talk, they began to discuss a very strange thing that had been happening for two nights now—something of a nature they felt barely believable. Somehow, they sensed, it would happen once again...
"Look! It's happening again!" Tien shouted as he pointed to King Vegeta's newly materialized ghost.
"It looks like the King, except transparent." Piccolo mused
"You're a smart guy, how about you talk to him." Suggested Tien to Yamcha.
"Perhaps he can tell us if he really is the late king." Piccolo added.
Yamcha shivered melodramatically: "All right—but this is really freaking me out!" Yamcha said at long last before taking a deep breath and reading word- for-word from his script: "What art thou that usurp'st this time of night together with that fair and warlike form in which the majesty of buried Denmark did sometimes march? By heaven I charge thee, speak."
Hearing someone use such lengthy Shakespearean prose must have annoyed the ghost though, as he turned on his ghostly heel and walked off.
"You've offended him." Tien chided Yamcha.
"See, it's leaving." Piccolo chimed in.
"Wait! Come back! Speak!" Yamcha called, but the ghost had already left.
"I guess he's gone" Tien spoke plainly.
"And Yamcha looks pretty shaken up" Piccolo added. "I suppose it's a good thing that he is though; at least it proves I'm not crazy."
"So was it the king?" Tien tentatively questioned Yamcha.
"It was wearing his armour" Yamcha carefully spoke after a few deep breaths, "so it must be him."
"Kind of weird, don't you think?" Tien said thoughtfully "He always arrives at the same hour each night..."
"...but for what reason?" Yamcha finished. "I don't know guys: I think this means something bad's going to happen."
"Well that's all fine and dandy," Tien replied, "but it would be nice to know for what reason exactly he's here."
"I think I may know." Yamcha spoke at length. "While still alive, our lord made an enemy of Fortinbras of Norway by killing his father and taking hold of his land. Apparently Fortinbras now wants to gain back those lands and has begun to assemble a small army, forcing us to be always on the lookout for an invasion."
"You may be right," Piccolo said gruffly, "this recent turmoil has probably woken the restless spirit of our king."
"It kinda' reminds me of how Julius Caesar's death seemed to foretell turmoil in Rome, but what do I know?" shrugged Yamcha.
And as the three argued, theorized, and talked; the king's ghost made its' second entrance of the night—perhaps thinking Yamcha had run out of lines to quote...or not!
Yamcha took another deep breath upon spying this visitor and once more read from his script: "But soft, behold, lo where it comes again! I'll cross it, though it blast me. Stay illusion. If thou hast any sound or use of voice, speak to me. If there be any good thing to be done that may to thee do ease and grace to me, speak to me. If thou art privy to thy country's fate, which happily foreknowing may avoid, o, speak! Or if thou hast uphoarded in thy life extorted treasures in the womb of earth, for which, they say, you spirits oft walk in death, speak of it. Stay and speak." And with that speech, Yamcha collapsed from lack of oxygen.
Upon regaining consciousness, Yamcha's first impulse was to make sure that the ghost was still there. "Stop it, Tien."
"Should I hit it?" asked Tien.
"Well if it won't stay still...!"
"Well hurry up before it leaves!" growled Piccolo.
"Too late," sighed Tien, "it's gone already. Perhaps shouting impossible-to- understand commands and then trying to hit him was a bad idea."
"Yamcha shouldn't have carried on like that," Piccolo barked, "the ghost was about to speak before it was interrupted, and once again right when he heard the rooster crow!"
"And then it left," sighed Yamcha, "like it wasn't supposed to be here."
"I guess ghosts aren't supposed to stick around very long after daybreak." Tien mused, "At least that's how these stories usually go."
"The ghost probably won't speak to us because it wants to speak to Vegeta/Hamlet," Yamcha said defensively, "maybe we should get him and see if it works."
"Good idea," Tien gave in response, "and I know where Vegeta probably is, too..."
***
King Gohan/Claudius was a powerful man, and he knew it. Upon the death of his brother, King Vegeta/King Hamlet, he had married his former sister-in- law, Gertrude/Chi-Chi, and gotten away with it without a fuss.
"You know," he pondered, "Prince Hamlet/Vegeta still mourns his father, but we on the other hand," as he nodded to his wife, Chi-Chi, "have gotten over it pretty quickly; haven't we? Ha! And Fortinbras thinks that with his death the country is in chaos—it's far from it!"
"Listen Gohan," Chi-Chi said anxiously, "remember that this is just a play, and that we don't want to do anything bizarre; got it sweetie?"
After acknowledging his mother, Gohan once again resumed his acting: "And now, Da-I mean Goku/Laertes, what news do you have today?"
"Nothin' much," answered Goku innocently, "but I'm thinking of going to France. Pretty please?!"
"Sure, but you'd need your father, Polonius/Dr. Briefs', permission."
"I can answer that," Dr. Briefs interrupted, "he may leave if he wants."
"Have fun!" Gohan called to Goku's receding figure, "and now to you, young Vegeta/Hamlet, my stepson-nephew."
"So, he's my father and uncle all at once," Vegeta grumbled off to the side, "just great!"
"Hmm? You seem depressed. What's wrong?" asked Gohan.
"Nothing's wrong," said Vegeta in a falsely bright, and perhaps even a little sarcastic, tone, "I'm just great; and you?"
"Oh, Vegeta," Chi-Chi sighed, "you're STILL mourning your father aren't you? He's been dead a while now, so you'll just have to get used to it."
"Yes, that would be it," replied Vegeta dejectedly.
"Well then, just get over it," chided Chi-Chi, "why do you seem obsessed with being depressed over it?!"
"Actually, mother (the last said with a slight smirk on Vegeta's face as he realized he had called Chi-Chi his mother) I AM obsessed with being this depressed—not to mention depressing—and will continue to dress in black, mope, and generally make myself to be a pitiful fool for a while yet."
"Prince Vegeta," Gohan said calmly, "it is sweet of you to remember your father so dearly, but you're really over-doing it now. Also, I suggest you stay here instead of going off to school in Wittenberg, so that your mother doesn't die of missing you so much."
"Please stay," Chi-Chi begged Vegeta, "we'll all miss you so much if you go."
Vegeta conceded: "All right, I'll stay here."
"Good boy, Vegeta," Gohan said proudly, "you are needed here in Denmark." And with that remark, everyone but Prince Vegeta left the room.
"Damn him to hell," Vegeta raged, "my father not even dead for two months and what happens?! My mom gets married to my uncle. Father was always like, well, a father to everyone; why did she betray him like this? At first she carried on crying constantly her crocodile's tears, but before even a month passed she's hanging off of Gohan like she'd otherwise fall to her death!"
As the Prince, ranted, raged, and looked like he either wanted to strangle someone or kill himself, Tien and Yamcha entered with news.
"Hey Vegeta! What's up?" called out Yamcha.
"Hm? Well if it isn't my friend Yamcha—long time, no see. So how're things in Wittenberg (Hamlet and Horatio are basically college buddies)? Tien? I am glad to see you both."
"We're actually not just here to see you," Tien replied uncomfortably, "your dad's funeral...
"'my father's funeral'? Don't you mean 'my mother's wedding'?"
Yamcha paused before answering: "Well, the two are pretty close together I guess..."
"Who wants to bet that any leftovers from the table at the funeral show up at the wedding feast?! I can still see my dad..."
"Really?" asked Yamcha, "where?"
"In my mind's eye," Vegeta replied distractedly.
"Speaking of seeing your father..." Yamcha wheedled, "I saw him last night on the battlements."
"Saw him?! Who?"
"Your father."
"You saw my dead father walking around?"
"Yes. Me an' Tien here both saw the ghost of your father last night, but he wouldn't speak to us at all!"
"Where exactly?"
"On the platform on the walls," Tien answered.
"Did you speak to it?"
"Tien, Piccolo, and I tried, but it wouldn't answer."
"This seems interesting, I think I'll check it out. Even if it turns out to be some sort of demon, and drags me into hell with it, I'll go see it." Vegeta spoke after a brief thought, "Goodbye!" He called to his friends as they both left.
After they had left Vegeta wondered to himself out loud: If his father's spirit showed up armed, did it mean trouble was brewing?
***
As Goku/Laertes packed he bid farewell to his sister, Ophelia/Bulma, who was madly in love with a certain prince: "Well, that's that! See you later, Bulma. Oh, and as for Vegeta, just watch yourself. He may cause more trouble for you than you believe, so just smile and be nice, but nothing else. 'But nothing else'? Whoever wrote this script doesn't know those two very well!"
"Oh, all right!" Bulma ad-libbed, "But don't ask me to do you any more favours, Goku! If I've gotta skip on the boyfriend, at least don't rub it in!"
"I guess I've stayed too long—here comes you-I mean OUR father!"
"All right Goku, you behave yourself and be careful with your money. 'neither a borrower or a lender be' and all that."
"Goodbye you two!" Goku called as he picked his heavy suitcase up with one hand and left.
"So what were you two talking about Bulma?" Dr. Briefs asked as Goku left.
"Just the usual; weather, sports, Prince Vegeta..."
"Ahhh...I thought you two were spending a lot of time with each other lately. But, you just remember—"
"Let me guess: watch out or he might take advantage of my gentle and trusting nature?"
"Yes."
"How predictable."
***
"That night" on the battlements, the three ghost-hunters were freezing their asses off.
"What idiot said we should came out here tonight?!" Vegeta snapped as he deeply regretted allowing himself to be a part of this. (You see, Goten and Trunks had gotten hold of a large quantity of dry ice and a large fan; then they had stuck the ice in front of the fan, turned it on and voila! Instant arctic breeze.)
Tien and Yamcha pointed at each other.
"Remind me to kill one of you after this play is over!"
"umm..." Yamcha tried to change the subject, "isn't it almost time for the ghost to show up?"
"I think it is." Replied Tien.
And then, suddenly, there was a blast of trumpets and the three knew the hour was at hand.
King Vegeta stepped onto the stage and looked straight at his son—who was quite surprised that they actually had brought his real father back from the dead—and said not a word.
"See, I told you." Said Yamcha with a wink.
"Umm..." started a shocked Vegeta before he had gotten his wits together, "What is this visit about, father? Are you a ghost or a demon born of hellfire? What does your coming mean?" he finally got out once the surprise wore off.
The "ghost" beckoned.
"I think he means he wants to talk to you, Vegeta," Yamcha said with a wink.
"Maybe you shouldn't go," argued Tien laughingly, "it's a pretty scary- looking ghost!"
"Awww, just go talk to him." countered Yamcha.
"I-I guess I should go..." stammered Vegeta, for once completely out of his usual "Saiyan Prince" mode.
"Be careful." Yamcha and Tien said with identical grins on their faces.
As the father and son left, the remaining two talked.
"We'll just follow, I think." Suggested Tien.
"Good idea."
And at this Tien took an opportunity to quote directly from the script: "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."
***
In the rafters above the stage, Trunks and Goten looked at each other with mirrored expressions of shock and disbelief. Because they were tracking down the ice-and-fan set-up, they had not noticed the previous appearance of the former King of Saiyans, and now that they saw him, they were just as surprised as Vegeta Jr. was.
"Is that my grandpa?!" Trunks asked.
Goten tilted his head in order to see them both at once: "Looks like it. Weird huh? Did you see the look on you dad's face?! Good thing mom made me bring a camera..."
Down below, Vegeta was just as shocked as his son.
***
"Where am I going?" Vegeta-in-Hamlet-mode asked his father.
"Just follow me."
"Sure."
"Good," he said as he glanced down his script for some clue about what to say: "I can only stay awhile before I end up being tormented in flames."
"If your character is a good guy, why's he in hell?" Vegeta Jr. whispered.
"He isn't—he simply has unfinished business to attend to." Vegeta Sr. answered, before the two resumed acting.
"Alas, poor ghost!" said Vegeta Jr.
"Save your pity and just listen."
"Say all you need to."
"I am thy father's spirit," he quoted, "doomed for a certain term to walk the night and the day confined to fast in fires..."
He stopped reading, however, when he realized how long the full speech actually was before continuing: "If you ever had love for your father—"
"Of course!"
"—avenge his foul and most unnatural murder." He said, returning to the script again briefly.
"Murder?"
"Indeed."
"Tell me!"
"As I slept in the orchard, a serpent stung me—a serpent that even now, wears my crown!"
"My uncle?!"
"Yes—and he seduced my wife too. You see, I was barely catching on to the whole mess when I took my final rest against that tree, and my own brother then poured a vial of poison into my ears and killed me."
"WHAT?! Are you sure you aren't a demon sent to damn me? Because if you aren't, then my mom's a complete slut, and my uncle a shameless bastard ..."
But he got no further, as the "ghost" flew up to the rafters (there were no trap doors in the stage) and Yamcha and Tien entered.
"Everything all right?" asked Yamcha.
"So be it!" Vegeta read briefly from the script.
"So be what?" Tien and Yamcha asked.
"My uncle is a lying, incestuous, cheating bastard!"
Tien and Yamcha both felt slightly guilty about having to say all this about Gohan, but...
"We didn't need a ghost to tell us that!" said Yamcha with fingers crossed behind his back.
"Indeed..." mused Vegeta with a slight smirk. "Well, see you two later."
"Hey! We're skipping two full pages here!" Tien and Yamcha burst out.
"Well, let's just skip to the part where you two swear on my sword then."
"I swear not to say anything about this to anyone." Tien and Yamcha said in solemn unison.
And on that note the curtain closed.
***
In the rafters King Vegeta sat watching proudly as his son strutted around acting onstage. Acting was frowned upon as a career for nobility—and royalty especially— but it wasn't outlawed as a hobby. As the curtain closed, however, he realized he wasn't the only one in the rafters—there were two boys up there as well, and one looked oddly familiar...
"Boy!" he barked at the lilac-haired one.
Trunks and Goten swivelled their heads in perfect unison. Now what?
"Yes..." Trunks said uncertainly.
"Who are you?" Vegeta Sr. said as he carefully studied the boy's hauntingly familiar face, "You look familiar."
"He's your grandson!" Goten blurted out.
Vegeta Sr. nearly fell over. A grandson? Yes the boy seemed to resemble himself slightly but...
"Ummm... what race are you, kid?" he asked, dreading the answer he knew would come.
"Uhh...half-human half-Saiyan." Trunks said with a slight blush.
Vegeta Sr. was a little disappointed in his son. Although glad the ancient bloodline wouldn't end with his son, the idea of interbreeding between different species was a little disturbing. Oh well, might as well accept the world as it is...
"Uh...I think I have some catching-up to do."
"How about you just talk to my dad—I'm sure he'll be glad to see you after all this time." Suggested Trunks in an effort to stop his grandfather from staring at him with such a weirded-out expression on his face.
......................................................................................................
La Femme Chikara: phew! *wipes brow* I hope you like it—I'm reading the actual script and translating as I go along you know! So you've probably noticed by now that this is, in essence, a story-within-the-story: one story is the play and the other is what's happening around and above the stage. Is this too complicated? Perhaps. *steely gleam in eyes* But it's too late to turn back now!
It was a dark night on the battlements as the guards—Piccolo/Bernardo, and Krillin/Francisco—stood at their posts.
"So what am I supposed to say?" Krillin asked.
"Shut up! I have to say 'who's there' first! Who's there?!"
Krillin glanced down at his script and attempted to make out the barely- legible writing. "Long...live the...I think it says 'King'" he slowly pronounced as Piccolo became more impatient.
"Kri-I mean, Bernardo, right?" Piccolo growled.
"Yup," was Krillin's cheery reply, "how are you doing?"
"It's cold and my shift was over a year ago!" Piccolo snarled, "Can't you at least show up on time once in a while?!"
"Well, I'm here now—you can leave if you want..."
"Gladly; it isn't as if anything's going to happen here anyway! And if you see Yamcha or Tien around tell them to get lost!"
Interestingly enough, Horatio/Yamcha and Tien/Marcellus happened to be walking along the walls at that very moment. "Did I hear my name?" Yamcha asked.
"G'night Piccolo!" Krillin called out before Piccolo, Tien, and Yamcha walked away. As the three made small talk, they began to discuss a very strange thing that had been happening for two nights now—something of a nature they felt barely believable. Somehow, they sensed, it would happen once again...
"Look! It's happening again!" Tien shouted as he pointed to King Vegeta's newly materialized ghost.
"It looks like the King, except transparent." Piccolo mused
"You're a smart guy, how about you talk to him." Suggested Tien to Yamcha.
"Perhaps he can tell us if he really is the late king." Piccolo added.
Yamcha shivered melodramatically: "All right—but this is really freaking me out!" Yamcha said at long last before taking a deep breath and reading word- for-word from his script: "What art thou that usurp'st this time of night together with that fair and warlike form in which the majesty of buried Denmark did sometimes march? By heaven I charge thee, speak."
Hearing someone use such lengthy Shakespearean prose must have annoyed the ghost though, as he turned on his ghostly heel and walked off.
"You've offended him." Tien chided Yamcha.
"See, it's leaving." Piccolo chimed in.
"Wait! Come back! Speak!" Yamcha called, but the ghost had already left.
"I guess he's gone" Tien spoke plainly.
"And Yamcha looks pretty shaken up" Piccolo added. "I suppose it's a good thing that he is though; at least it proves I'm not crazy."
"So was it the king?" Tien tentatively questioned Yamcha.
"It was wearing his armour" Yamcha carefully spoke after a few deep breaths, "so it must be him."
"Kind of weird, don't you think?" Tien said thoughtfully "He always arrives at the same hour each night..."
"...but for what reason?" Yamcha finished. "I don't know guys: I think this means something bad's going to happen."
"Well that's all fine and dandy," Tien replied, "but it would be nice to know for what reason exactly he's here."
"I think I may know." Yamcha spoke at length. "While still alive, our lord made an enemy of Fortinbras of Norway by killing his father and taking hold of his land. Apparently Fortinbras now wants to gain back those lands and has begun to assemble a small army, forcing us to be always on the lookout for an invasion."
"You may be right," Piccolo said gruffly, "this recent turmoil has probably woken the restless spirit of our king."
"It kinda' reminds me of how Julius Caesar's death seemed to foretell turmoil in Rome, but what do I know?" shrugged Yamcha.
And as the three argued, theorized, and talked; the king's ghost made its' second entrance of the night—perhaps thinking Yamcha had run out of lines to quote...or not!
Yamcha took another deep breath upon spying this visitor and once more read from his script: "But soft, behold, lo where it comes again! I'll cross it, though it blast me. Stay illusion. If thou hast any sound or use of voice, speak to me. If there be any good thing to be done that may to thee do ease and grace to me, speak to me. If thou art privy to thy country's fate, which happily foreknowing may avoid, o, speak! Or if thou hast uphoarded in thy life extorted treasures in the womb of earth, for which, they say, you spirits oft walk in death, speak of it. Stay and speak." And with that speech, Yamcha collapsed from lack of oxygen.
Upon regaining consciousness, Yamcha's first impulse was to make sure that the ghost was still there. "Stop it, Tien."
"Should I hit it?" asked Tien.
"Well if it won't stay still...!"
"Well hurry up before it leaves!" growled Piccolo.
"Too late," sighed Tien, "it's gone already. Perhaps shouting impossible-to- understand commands and then trying to hit him was a bad idea."
"Yamcha shouldn't have carried on like that," Piccolo barked, "the ghost was about to speak before it was interrupted, and once again right when he heard the rooster crow!"
"And then it left," sighed Yamcha, "like it wasn't supposed to be here."
"I guess ghosts aren't supposed to stick around very long after daybreak." Tien mused, "At least that's how these stories usually go."
"The ghost probably won't speak to us because it wants to speak to Vegeta/Hamlet," Yamcha said defensively, "maybe we should get him and see if it works."
"Good idea," Tien gave in response, "and I know where Vegeta probably is, too..."
***
King Gohan/Claudius was a powerful man, and he knew it. Upon the death of his brother, King Vegeta/King Hamlet, he had married his former sister-in- law, Gertrude/Chi-Chi, and gotten away with it without a fuss.
"You know," he pondered, "Prince Hamlet/Vegeta still mourns his father, but we on the other hand," as he nodded to his wife, Chi-Chi, "have gotten over it pretty quickly; haven't we? Ha! And Fortinbras thinks that with his death the country is in chaos—it's far from it!"
"Listen Gohan," Chi-Chi said anxiously, "remember that this is just a play, and that we don't want to do anything bizarre; got it sweetie?"
After acknowledging his mother, Gohan once again resumed his acting: "And now, Da-I mean Goku/Laertes, what news do you have today?"
"Nothin' much," answered Goku innocently, "but I'm thinking of going to France. Pretty please?!"
"Sure, but you'd need your father, Polonius/Dr. Briefs', permission."
"I can answer that," Dr. Briefs interrupted, "he may leave if he wants."
"Have fun!" Gohan called to Goku's receding figure, "and now to you, young Vegeta/Hamlet, my stepson-nephew."
"So, he's my father and uncle all at once," Vegeta grumbled off to the side, "just great!"
"Hmm? You seem depressed. What's wrong?" asked Gohan.
"Nothing's wrong," said Vegeta in a falsely bright, and perhaps even a little sarcastic, tone, "I'm just great; and you?"
"Oh, Vegeta," Chi-Chi sighed, "you're STILL mourning your father aren't you? He's been dead a while now, so you'll just have to get used to it."
"Yes, that would be it," replied Vegeta dejectedly.
"Well then, just get over it," chided Chi-Chi, "why do you seem obsessed with being depressed over it?!"
"Actually, mother (the last said with a slight smirk on Vegeta's face as he realized he had called Chi-Chi his mother) I AM obsessed with being this depressed—not to mention depressing—and will continue to dress in black, mope, and generally make myself to be a pitiful fool for a while yet."
"Prince Vegeta," Gohan said calmly, "it is sweet of you to remember your father so dearly, but you're really over-doing it now. Also, I suggest you stay here instead of going off to school in Wittenberg, so that your mother doesn't die of missing you so much."
"Please stay," Chi-Chi begged Vegeta, "we'll all miss you so much if you go."
Vegeta conceded: "All right, I'll stay here."
"Good boy, Vegeta," Gohan said proudly, "you are needed here in Denmark." And with that remark, everyone but Prince Vegeta left the room.
"Damn him to hell," Vegeta raged, "my father not even dead for two months and what happens?! My mom gets married to my uncle. Father was always like, well, a father to everyone; why did she betray him like this? At first she carried on crying constantly her crocodile's tears, but before even a month passed she's hanging off of Gohan like she'd otherwise fall to her death!"
As the Prince, ranted, raged, and looked like he either wanted to strangle someone or kill himself, Tien and Yamcha entered with news.
"Hey Vegeta! What's up?" called out Yamcha.
"Hm? Well if it isn't my friend Yamcha—long time, no see. So how're things in Wittenberg (Hamlet and Horatio are basically college buddies)? Tien? I am glad to see you both."
"We're actually not just here to see you," Tien replied uncomfortably, "your dad's funeral...
"'my father's funeral'? Don't you mean 'my mother's wedding'?"
Yamcha paused before answering: "Well, the two are pretty close together I guess..."
"Who wants to bet that any leftovers from the table at the funeral show up at the wedding feast?! I can still see my dad..."
"Really?" asked Yamcha, "where?"
"In my mind's eye," Vegeta replied distractedly.
"Speaking of seeing your father..." Yamcha wheedled, "I saw him last night on the battlements."
"Saw him?! Who?"
"Your father."
"You saw my dead father walking around?"
"Yes. Me an' Tien here both saw the ghost of your father last night, but he wouldn't speak to us at all!"
"Where exactly?"
"On the platform on the walls," Tien answered.
"Did you speak to it?"
"Tien, Piccolo, and I tried, but it wouldn't answer."
"This seems interesting, I think I'll check it out. Even if it turns out to be some sort of demon, and drags me into hell with it, I'll go see it." Vegeta spoke after a brief thought, "Goodbye!" He called to his friends as they both left.
After they had left Vegeta wondered to himself out loud: If his father's spirit showed up armed, did it mean trouble was brewing?
***
As Goku/Laertes packed he bid farewell to his sister, Ophelia/Bulma, who was madly in love with a certain prince: "Well, that's that! See you later, Bulma. Oh, and as for Vegeta, just watch yourself. He may cause more trouble for you than you believe, so just smile and be nice, but nothing else. 'But nothing else'? Whoever wrote this script doesn't know those two very well!"
"Oh, all right!" Bulma ad-libbed, "But don't ask me to do you any more favours, Goku! If I've gotta skip on the boyfriend, at least don't rub it in!"
"I guess I've stayed too long—here comes you-I mean OUR father!"
"All right Goku, you behave yourself and be careful with your money. 'neither a borrower or a lender be' and all that."
"Goodbye you two!" Goku called as he picked his heavy suitcase up with one hand and left.
"So what were you two talking about Bulma?" Dr. Briefs asked as Goku left.
"Just the usual; weather, sports, Prince Vegeta..."
"Ahhh...I thought you two were spending a lot of time with each other lately. But, you just remember—"
"Let me guess: watch out or he might take advantage of my gentle and trusting nature?"
"Yes."
"How predictable."
***
"That night" on the battlements, the three ghost-hunters were freezing their asses off.
"What idiot said we should came out here tonight?!" Vegeta snapped as he deeply regretted allowing himself to be a part of this. (You see, Goten and Trunks had gotten hold of a large quantity of dry ice and a large fan; then they had stuck the ice in front of the fan, turned it on and voila! Instant arctic breeze.)
Tien and Yamcha pointed at each other.
"Remind me to kill one of you after this play is over!"
"umm..." Yamcha tried to change the subject, "isn't it almost time for the ghost to show up?"
"I think it is." Replied Tien.
And then, suddenly, there was a blast of trumpets and the three knew the hour was at hand.
King Vegeta stepped onto the stage and looked straight at his son—who was quite surprised that they actually had brought his real father back from the dead—and said not a word.
"See, I told you." Said Yamcha with a wink.
"Umm..." started a shocked Vegeta before he had gotten his wits together, "What is this visit about, father? Are you a ghost or a demon born of hellfire? What does your coming mean?" he finally got out once the surprise wore off.
The "ghost" beckoned.
"I think he means he wants to talk to you, Vegeta," Yamcha said with a wink.
"Maybe you shouldn't go," argued Tien laughingly, "it's a pretty scary- looking ghost!"
"Awww, just go talk to him." countered Yamcha.
"I-I guess I should go..." stammered Vegeta, for once completely out of his usual "Saiyan Prince" mode.
"Be careful." Yamcha and Tien said with identical grins on their faces.
As the father and son left, the remaining two talked.
"We'll just follow, I think." Suggested Tien.
"Good idea."
And at this Tien took an opportunity to quote directly from the script: "Something is rotten in the state of Denmark."
***
In the rafters above the stage, Trunks and Goten looked at each other with mirrored expressions of shock and disbelief. Because they were tracking down the ice-and-fan set-up, they had not noticed the previous appearance of the former King of Saiyans, and now that they saw him, they were just as surprised as Vegeta Jr. was.
"Is that my grandpa?!" Trunks asked.
Goten tilted his head in order to see them both at once: "Looks like it. Weird huh? Did you see the look on you dad's face?! Good thing mom made me bring a camera..."
Down below, Vegeta was just as shocked as his son.
***
"Where am I going?" Vegeta-in-Hamlet-mode asked his father.
"Just follow me."
"Sure."
"Good," he said as he glanced down his script for some clue about what to say: "I can only stay awhile before I end up being tormented in flames."
"If your character is a good guy, why's he in hell?" Vegeta Jr. whispered.
"He isn't—he simply has unfinished business to attend to." Vegeta Sr. answered, before the two resumed acting.
"Alas, poor ghost!" said Vegeta Jr.
"Save your pity and just listen."
"Say all you need to."
"I am thy father's spirit," he quoted, "doomed for a certain term to walk the night and the day confined to fast in fires..."
He stopped reading, however, when he realized how long the full speech actually was before continuing: "If you ever had love for your father—"
"Of course!"
"—avenge his foul and most unnatural murder." He said, returning to the script again briefly.
"Murder?"
"Indeed."
"Tell me!"
"As I slept in the orchard, a serpent stung me—a serpent that even now, wears my crown!"
"My uncle?!"
"Yes—and he seduced my wife too. You see, I was barely catching on to the whole mess when I took my final rest against that tree, and my own brother then poured a vial of poison into my ears and killed me."
"WHAT?! Are you sure you aren't a demon sent to damn me? Because if you aren't, then my mom's a complete slut, and my uncle a shameless bastard ..."
But he got no further, as the "ghost" flew up to the rafters (there were no trap doors in the stage) and Yamcha and Tien entered.
"Everything all right?" asked Yamcha.
"So be it!" Vegeta read briefly from the script.
"So be what?" Tien and Yamcha asked.
"My uncle is a lying, incestuous, cheating bastard!"
Tien and Yamcha both felt slightly guilty about having to say all this about Gohan, but...
"We didn't need a ghost to tell us that!" said Yamcha with fingers crossed behind his back.
"Indeed..." mused Vegeta with a slight smirk. "Well, see you two later."
"Hey! We're skipping two full pages here!" Tien and Yamcha burst out.
"Well, let's just skip to the part where you two swear on my sword then."
"I swear not to say anything about this to anyone." Tien and Yamcha said in solemn unison.
And on that note the curtain closed.
***
In the rafters King Vegeta sat watching proudly as his son strutted around acting onstage. Acting was frowned upon as a career for nobility—and royalty especially— but it wasn't outlawed as a hobby. As the curtain closed, however, he realized he wasn't the only one in the rafters—there were two boys up there as well, and one looked oddly familiar...
"Boy!" he barked at the lilac-haired one.
Trunks and Goten swivelled their heads in perfect unison. Now what?
"Yes..." Trunks said uncertainly.
"Who are you?" Vegeta Sr. said as he carefully studied the boy's hauntingly familiar face, "You look familiar."
"He's your grandson!" Goten blurted out.
Vegeta Sr. nearly fell over. A grandson? Yes the boy seemed to resemble himself slightly but...
"Ummm... what race are you, kid?" he asked, dreading the answer he knew would come.
"Uhh...half-human half-Saiyan." Trunks said with a slight blush.
Vegeta Sr. was a little disappointed in his son. Although glad the ancient bloodline wouldn't end with his son, the idea of interbreeding between different species was a little disturbing. Oh well, might as well accept the world as it is...
"Uh...I think I have some catching-up to do."
"How about you just talk to my dad—I'm sure he'll be glad to see you after all this time." Suggested Trunks in an effort to stop his grandfather from staring at him with such a weirded-out expression on his face.
......................................................................................................
La Femme Chikara: phew! *wipes brow* I hope you like it—I'm reading the actual script and translating as I go along you know! So you've probably noticed by now that this is, in essence, a story-within-the-story: one story is the play and the other is what's happening around and above the stage. Is this too complicated? Perhaps. *steely gleam in eyes* But it's too late to turn back now!