Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto, and I never will, but as long as I have this disclaimer up here, I can right as many Naruto fics as I want. So that's a good thing ^^
Summary – After an incident, the pain, the loneliness, the deceit, the crying, shatter Naruto. Now he wants to make everyone happy, and what better way to make them happy then to rid them of him? After the attempt fails, Naruto isolates himself, thinking a fearing that everyone is against him, that they hate him, and that he is just a pain in there side. How can team 7 and a few others take Naruto out of this depression? Or worse…what if he does something horrible before they can?
By the way this takes place after the chuunin exams (also after Naruto and Sasuke fight it out [meaning Naruto knows the Resengan]) and that's it. Other then that, this story does NOT follow the story-line of Naruto.
Morgri – I'm not sure if I will put romance into the story right now, simply because Naruto is overcome with depression. Though, I might add some Naruhina at the end. Now notice I *might* or it may be Sakura, or it could be Sasuke. However, I'm not heavy Yaoi fan, so if it's Sasuke it will probably heavy friendship not love. =]
[Song at the beginning {By myself: Linkin Park}]
"Speaking"
(thoughts)
*other peoples writing*
Flashback
*~*~* Shift in time or scene*~*~*
Shattered
By: Morgri
Chapter two
If I turn my back I'm defenseless
And to go blindly seems senseless
If I hide my pride and let it all go on then they'll
Take from me till everything's gone
If I let them go I'll be outdone
But if I try to catch them I'll be outrun
How do you think I've lost so much
I'm so afraid I'm out of touch
How do you expect I will know what to do
When all I know is what you tell me to
*By Myself*
Ugh, am I awake? Well where am I? Is this heaven or hell? I guess it doesn't matter because at least I won't cause any more trouble. It will be me, just me, no more pain, no more insults, no more glares. I thought trusting someone would help, but all along my destiny was to live in loneliness.
Oh, my head hurts, I thought pain ended in heaven? My eyes feel heavy, why? I wish I could see, but I guess that's what I deserve, everybody says so. I hate that, why did I have to be this way? Why do I have to cry alone? Why did pain come to me? I tried, I tried to live up to there expectations.... why didn't it work? O great I'm sniffling, I don't want to cry! I hate crying, because… No body is here to cry with me. All the other people who were always crying always had someone there for them; they had somebody who loved them, not me.
Huh? My vision is coming back to me? That's good, maybe something will go right for me. But I don't deserve it, everybody says that I don't, they all say " he shouldn't have anything," they say, "He, that devil, the one who deserves nothing, I wish he had nothing, not life or anything" I guess I believe this. I should, there always right aren't they? So living in this hell, it should be… comforting… at least *they* will be happy. I guess… living alone won't be all that bad…
O yeah right!? I hate myself, my life, my appearance, my personality, my soul, everything! I hate it! I can't take it much more! I'm always defenseless, every time! I'm outdone; even when I try to catch them I'm outrun! Is this my destiny? Ok, so I don't hate myself, I just don't like what I have done. Everyone says I do everything wrong; but doesn't trying count for anything? It should! I wish it did! I always read in books that trying was good! I guess it was all a lie!
Well I can see everything now, am I in heaven or hell, which one? I'm… in a bed? What are all these needles? What with that annoying beeping sound? It sounds like one of those things in a hospital. It's on my left, well then what's on my right? Let me get up and see. OUCH! Never mind, I think I'll just lay here and live in my loneliness instead. Cause there's probably people here, and I don't want them to hurt me either.
Huh? Who just came in? A girl with pink hair? She looks familiar. I know I've seen her some where! Maybe, she will be nice to me… maybe she will cry with me! Maybe I won't be alone anymore. Let me try to say something to here! I hope she's not mad or anything though, the only time people talk to me is when there mad…I hate that, because something about me always makes *them* hate me. I wish I could figure it out…
"Naruto you *idiot*, you had us-!"
Why did she call me that? Even when I'm dead… unless… oh no. What should I do, she called me an idiot! That means I did something wrong, but I've been here the whole time. Oh… I'm crying now, right in front of her. I tried to say something! But I just couldn't. All I can do now is just cry.
But, why couldn't I respond? I opened my mouth to say I'm sorry for what ever I did. No words came out though, why? It's like I just blurted out silence! I'm confused now. My head hurts, and I've done something wrong.
She's gonna try to hurt me! I know it, they always do! I got to hide, somewhere anywhere, Err, why can't I stop crying? Because I know it, she wants to do something bad to me. Under the covers, maybe she won't do anything if I hide there.
"Naruto…?"
Oh no, she can hear me, I've got to stop crying… or she will hurt me. She will hurt me! She will hurt me! Oh no, now I'm shaking, just what I need, crying and shaking! Grr! Why? Why? Stop it, Stop it! Ahhhh, why can't I say anything! Please don't hurt me, I will try harder next *time* I promise I promise. Then won't you be happy? Just please don't hurt me. She can't hear me, she can't hear me! Oh no, what will I do? I'm crying even harder now, and it hurts, really badly. My head feels like is about to explode, my wrists hurt horribly.
Why though? It felt so good a little while a go, maybe… it works better the second time around, yeah, maybe next time. Ah, but I can't concentrate on that now, because I'm crying, and when I cry they'll hurt me. They always do! They do! They Do! They'll say "Stop crying you idiot," or "You don't deserve to cry, you deserve to be dead!" They always did. I cause trouble even when I'm crying… if only they knew me. I'm not so bad aren't I? Oh… but what am I saying? If they say I'm bad, then I'm bad.
Oh no… I'm crying harder now! Everybody is probably sick of my crying. At least when I was at my home… alone… I could cry alone. I heard once that crying was good, they all lied! They said that is was good emotionally, that if you cry it helped you feel better afterwards, and they said that you would eventually stop crying. It's all a lie! It is! I always cry, but I can't stop, and I don't feel better, I feel worse! They said that eventually somebody would come and cry with you, nobody ever did that with me. I was always alone… Wait, I'm still alone.
But that's good right? If I'm alone they'll leave me alone, if I'm alone they won't hate me! But then, why did *she* come in a call me and Idiot? I was alone wasn't I? I was asleep or unconscious or something like that, but I still caused trouble! Crying doesn't help, but then, why am I crying? Why do I feel like when something, anything, happens I have to cry? M-maybe they are right, but it still doesn't feel good. Then why am I CRYING!!??
I wish I didn't cry, I always cry… Where's something to write with? That always calms me down! Maybe if I go out there I can get something to write with… but, *they're* out there, and if I go out there they'll just hurt me more, won't they? I can feel my self shaking, maybe if I curl up I will stop, and if I stop shaking, maybe I will stop crying. Let me try…
O great, she's saying something, I can't tell what is, but I don't care, I'm crying more now, it will be any second now. She's going to come in here and hurt me! What did I do this time? I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Hinata ran into the room, something was wrong! She turned to see Sakura just standing there dumbfounded, mouth open and all. She turned toward the bed, someone was inside that bed… crying, sobbing. "N-Na-Naruto-kun?" She felt her eyes tear, what was happening!? She treaded slowly towards the bed, and unveiled the covers.
She tried to hug him, but at her slightest touch he flinched. There, he looked at her. He looked at her differently the he ever had before. She walked backwards towards the door, her mouth covered, as she felt her tears give way.
The way she looked at him. It was a look she never ever saw or wanted see from Naruto, it was a look of fear. Fear mixed with confusion, mixed with loneliness, mixed sadness, something she never wanted to see from him again! She saw that Naruto lost something in his eyes, some spark that he used to have, some glimmer, some kind of beautiful shimmer, it was gone.
Hinata gave way. She sobbed looking for the nearest person for comfort. She hugged someone. The way he flinched, she couldn't… bear to see that, it was horrible. So much pain, how could she have let the person she loved the most look like this? She was supposed to help him, to comfort him, and there, he refused… a hug from her.
Sasuke scoffed, "Is it that bad?" He said pulling Hinata away from his body. Little did Hinata know that it was he that she was hugging.
"Sa-Sasuke, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" She managed over tears.
"It's… ok," Sasuke tried to sound sincere. Sasuke felt the girl's pain; he was gentlemanly enough to know that he should in fact comfort the girl. He seemed out of place as well, not knowing whether to believe that he did in fact try to commit suicide, or whether *to* believe it. Was this really Naruto? "How… is… he?" The self-proclaimed genius uttered under his breath. Not even he, the genius, could figure out why someone would do this.
"H-he's," Hinata tried to speak, "Horrible…" she began to sob once again, "The way he looked at me, if you saw I-it," Hinata couldn't finish.
"You shouldn't- ugh," Sasuke searched for words, but what could he say? He hadn't seen Naruto, and right now, he didn't know if he wanted too… yet. Was he just scared to see Naruto… weak? And either way, wasn't he his rival, why wasn't he happy, that's how he should have been. But, then again… they had shared many great times together; many great fights, and even withstood some quarrels! Together they grew strong, together they overcame what they shouldn't have overcome, and they single handedly took on some of the greatest ninja in the town. Why, Naruto defeated Neji, and he had defeated Gaara, and even though he wasn't there to see it he sure was proud of Naruto.
Sasuke sighed; he remembered the incident all to well.
Flashback
"Naruto!" Sasuke called hearing no reply, "That idiot," he snorted, "Sakura go see if he's in his room, how about it." Sasuke was very annoyed at this. He saw her leave while speaking to himself, "How could… Naruto… Be late… For training, WHEN I FEEL THIS GOOD!" He stomped angrily toward the kitchen to where Naruto would probably be. He did this all while expelling his anger, "I mean, you think I could finally enjoy training, sheesh. Man! I felt confident that I would be able to 'own'," (he said "own" in a very sophisticated manner), "Him!"
Walking into the kitchen, he found small drops of blood leading toward the second exit of the kitchen. He figured it was from some kind of wounds that he probably received a little while ago at training… but it was still weird because this blood wasn't dry yet. Sasuke didn't care, "Naruto, you idiot" Sasuke thundered, "I'll make sure I hand your butt the worst whipping of your life if you don't show yourself! Yeah! You bet I will, I'm feeling good today and I will show you that you ARE dead last!" Sasuke proclaimed this with such enthusiasm that he didn't even recognize himself, he even noticed his fist was being held up towards the sky while at the same time being balled up! He never felt so good!
Well, what the heck anyway? He was feeling good, a lot more powerful. In fact Kakashi recognized this right when he showed up for training. He wanted to make the most of it! I mean what if this was just a one day experience! That would totally suck! And I mean suck to the fullest rate of suck! The kind where you have to say suck with the capital s! So! Sasuke was feeling this good and Naruto was going to make this day "SUCK"!
Sasuke drooped his head, he couldn't believe the way he was acting, but who cared? It was just one day and he was only a *little* out of character, it wouldn't hurt him. He slowly followed the trail of blood seeing to were it led to. The trail (which appeared and disappeared because of the messy condition the house was in) eventually led toward his bedroom.
Naruto's house itself was pretty big, Sasuke had to admit. If only Naruto would have cleaned it up a little then it would be the perfect. I mean sure, it was small compared to the house he was living in, but it was really big for one person. It had a rather large bathroom, and ok sized kitchen, and two bedrooms. Not the biggest, but ok.
Sasuke slowly made is way through the clothes, the soda cans, and the scrolls. Suddenly he stopped. He heard a scream. Sakura? He ran toward the bedroom to make sure she was ok. She looked pale, and was looking straight towards the place that the door hid while it was open. On the side there was Naruto, he was lying is his own blood.
Sasuke laughed "Good one Naruto, you almost got me there." This was all a trick, wow, the blood looked so authentic… "Naruto…?" He whispered, "Naruto, this isn't funny anymore!" He aimed his displeasure toward Naruto, who… didn't respond. It then hit him.
"Sakura!" he said almost panicking himself. He never saw this happen. Naruto wasn't this type of person why would he even – why was he even thinking of such a thing?! He slowly picked Naruto up. "Let's get him to the hospital!"
Reality
Sasuke flinched. He felt bad, there Naruto was dying, and all he did was LAUGH!? He felt tremendous guilt. He didn't understand Naruto, heck, he barely understood himself! And he was even thankful to Naruto for that reason! Though, he wouldn't lie to himself… he *thought* he knew Naruto. He thought he knew the loneliness he had been through, though he knew what it was like having no family, but in the end he didn't. That was the harsh reality… he didn't know what Naruto was going through, hence, he could not help Naruto.
But that didn't seem right. Sasuke had to do something; Naruto would have gladly helped him through his troubles, in fact… In some ways Naruto already had. He helped him get away from the hatred of his brother… He helped concentrate on other things. Though, of course, he still held a strong grudge against his murderer of a brother, but Naruto calmed down that anger immensely, which helped him out in his training. He could concentrate more, listened twice as well. He was becoming the genius he was hailed to actually be. That was all thanks to Naruto.
"Y-you should," Sasuke stuttered over his words, "Calm down a little. Crying over Naruto won't hel-…"
"B-but," Hinata sniffled, "I really want to help him, he… means a lot to me…" She confessed.
Sasuke sighed sadly, "If you really want to help him, then you should stop crying a find something that you could help him with. You were kind to him were you not?"
"Yes."
"Good, find something that will make him remember that kindness and just maybe you can help him out."
"You… really think so?"
"Of course"
Hinata lit up, maybe Sasuke was right. She skipped out of the hospital, thinking… maybe she just could help!
Sasuke however decided on something else. He would visit Naruto; perhaps his presence would put some life into the boy. By seeing Hinata it didn't seem like Naruto was doing very well. Who knows, but maybe, just maybe… he could help. But he didn't know how bad it actually was. He hadn't seen him yet…
Well whatever, if he kept confident surely Naruto would snap out of whatever he was in. In fact… perhaps it might actually work…
Sasuke trotted into the room, he gasped.
-End Chapter two-
Morgri – Thanks for all your reviews, I hope you liked this chapter just as much! Can Sasuke really help Naruto when he hasn't even seen him? You'll guys will have to find out… because that's all I'm going to tell you! I don't want to spoil it of course! He's seems confident! R&R!!