January 1st:
Ahh- 5 pm and I just woke up. I am so tired, since I didn't get home until 11am today, and then I ate a quick lunch and practically fell into bed. But last night was a BLAST! It was just like old times, all of us BSC members gathered together at Mary Anne and Dawn's house. We talked about everything- college, boys, sex, clothes, our plans for the future. I hadn't realized just how much I had missed my friends until last night. I missed our sleepovers- just the eight of us, sitting around in our pajamas, laughing and talking, and eating popcorn. The only low point of the evening was when Kristy and Abby got into some argument. It started out over some sports thing, and eventually moved to school, guys and everything else. But by the end they were laughing, and so were the rest of us. Kristy and Abby always did argue a lot, since both are so opinonated. The amazing thing about last night was that we didn't just chat, but we had some serious conversations. Like with Dawn, about her being a lesbian. I never realized how difficult some people could make life for her. They can be very cruel, just because of her sexuality. They don't realize how beautiful a person Dawn is, all the see her as being is "some lesbian chick". It's disgusting to think how mean people can be. Then there's Claudia, who's met Brett, this amazing guy at school. She says that he's everything she ever wanted in a boyfriend. I am so amazingly happy for her. Well, I have to go eat dinner now (Diabetes forces you to eat very much on schedule), but I will add more later!
January 7th:
My last day in Stoneybrook. I'm pretty sad about that. It's been a great vacation- I've had a lot of fun with my friends, I spent some quiet time with Sam, and it was so nice to see Mom again. I also spent some time working at 'Fresh' (her store, remember?), and made some money (much needed by a college student). Today I'm just finishing packing some of my stuff, saying goodbye to Claudia, who leaves tomorrow (Dawn and Abby already left, and Mary Anne's leaving today). Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sam and I are taking the 10 am train back to New York. I have a one day rest (well, technically the whole break has been a rest) and the classes start again on Monday already. It's gone by way too fast! Oops! I gotta run! I' m supposed to meet Claud at the Rosebud Café in 20 minutes!!! Bye!
January 9th:
Back in New York. I slept later today (noon), but the thing that sucks about sleeping late when you have Diabetes, is that you can't really do it. I had to get up at 8am, take my shot, eat my breakfast, and then return to bed. Sure I fell back asleep because I was plenty tired, but it just wasn't the same, you know? But now I'm up ( I woke up when Rachael started screaming for food), and I'm just sitting here writing. I had a nice lunch with Dad, Samantha and Rachael. I really missed them while I was gone. When I got back they gave me all my Christmas gifts, and I gave them theirs. I got a really nice sweater from Samantha, as well as a gift certificate to Bloomie's from both Dad and Sam. Rachael also "gave me" a picture of herself, taken professionally. It's so cute, I'm going to put it on my desk. Rachael is 7 months old now, almost 8 months. It's hard to believe! She is getting to be a real character. She laughs, smiles, and she can crawl. Her head, which was once almost bald except for a little peach fuzz, now has a mass of golden curls on top, and her eyes are sparkling blue. Everyone says she looks like me, which I take as a compliment, because she's so cute. Sigh- classes start tomorrow. Some schools (like Kristy's) get over four weeks for vacation. I only get a little less than three. Not fair! This semester should be (slightly) easier since I'm more familiar with how the school works. I'm taking Calculus 3 (oh Lord, good luck with that one!), English 102, Psychology 101, Accounting 102, Economics 101. Five classes- I hope I can manage! My first class isn't until 10 am tomorrow, which means I don't have to leave for the subway until around 9. I have English 102 at 10 with Professor Livingston. My friend Ronia had her for 101, and says she's a good prof. Then at 12:30 I have Economics 101 with Professor Gies (never heard of him) and then at 3:00 I have Calc 3, with Professor Hartley (never heard of him either). I suppose I should go see if Samantha needs help with Rachael. Later.
January 15th:
Well, I'm back in the swing of things at school. It was nice to see my friends again, especially Sarah, and this other girl, Ronia, who I'm friends with. Ronia's family went to Florida over the holidays. They're Muslim, and they don't celebrate Christmas, and since Ramadan was over long ago, they decided to take a trip to Disney world with her two younger brothers. Sarah ended up being in my English class, so I have lots of time to talk to her, between English and riding the Subway/bus together. She had a great Hanukkah season- she and her family go to her grandmother's in Long Island in every year on the first and last nights of Hanukkah for a big celebration. The nights in between she says they stay at home and celebrate, and also go to synagogue. Between Sarah and Ronia, I've been learning a lot about other religions! It's interesting for me though, since (as I've mentioned) I wasn't raised religious. Other than that, I am really enjoying my classes this semester. My Accounting 101 class is VERY interesting. and the professor is great. I really like him- he makes the lectures interesting, not dry and boring (well, as interesting as Accounting can be!) The best part of this semester, however, has been my yoga class I'm taking. When I was in Stoneybrook, Mom took me to a couple of her Yoga classes. They were really relaxing- a nice break from the hectic days. So, she offered to pay for me to take classes here in NYC. I found a class at small Dance/Aerobic Studio near NYU, so I signed up. The class meets on Wednesdays from 7-8pm, and it's all adult women over the age of 18. I have met some amazing women in that class- there are few college students like me, including one girl named Charity who I've gotten pretty close with. Then there are a lot of women my mom's age, mostly mothers and businesswomen who are stressed out. There are also quite a few women in their 40's and 50's, a lot of them looking to relax from the stresses of menopause. One of the most amazing women, though, is a woman named Elizabeth. She's 72 years old, and in great shape. She's into Yoga and Relaxation. I find it inspiring that at her age, she is still interested in keeping her body in good condition. I hope to be like her when I'm that age! Well, I'm tired, and it's time for be so I think I will leave off here. Night!
January 18th:
Today was Saturday, and it was also Samantha's birthday. She turned 30. I can't believe she's that young (well her maiden name is Young, I guess). But my Dad is going to be 42 this summer. that's a huge age difference! He could have baby-sat for her. But it doesn't matter now, I guess. We had a little party for her here at home, just the four of us, which was nice. Then for dinner Dad and Samantha went out with some of their friends, and I'm babysitting for Rachael, which is why I'm stuck home on a perfectly good Saturday night. I asked Sam to come over and help me sit, but he's home writing a huge paper that he has due. Rachael's asleep now, as it's almost 11:00, but Dad and Samantha won't be home until 1 or 2 am. However, I think I will close my eyes and try to rest a little, and hope I will wake up if Rachael cries. Later!
January 19th:
Remember that friend of mine from Yoga, Charity? She and I went walking in Central Park this morning. We left at 8 am, which was a real shock for me considering I normally don't WAKE UP until 8 on Sundays. Charity's really nice though- she has long, dishwater blonde hair (sort of like Dawn's, only darker and thicker), green eyes, and she's very petite. She a Sophomore at Columbia University here in New York. She's a poet, and she's majoring in English. Oh yeah, she's also a very devout Christian. Now, some of my friends are Christian, however they're not quite as "gung ho" about it as Charity is. Charity says she's Evangelical, and she wears a cross all the time, and is always talking about "Christ" and "Her Lord". She asked me to go to Church with her after our walk, but I felt really weird about that since I'm not at all religious. In fact, I'm not even Christian, really. I believe in God, I'm not an atheist, however I don't really know what I think about Jesus. But I've been thinking about religion a lot lately. What's interesting, is that most of my Stoneybrook friends are at least a little religious. Claudia's family is Christian- no particular denomination. They go to The First Congregational Church of Stoneybrook. I've been there twice- once when Mimi died, and once when Lynn was christened. Mary Anne isn't any particular religion either- her father was Presbyterian and her mother was Jewish. However Mary Anne sometimes goes to church with her father. Kristy's family, as I mentioned, is Roman Catholic, as is Mallory Pike's family. Dawn's family is Methodist, and Jessi's family is Baptist. Most of them go to Church on Christmas and Easter, at least. Abby is the only non-Christian member of the BSC (well aside from Mary Anne), and she is a Reformed Jew. That means that she practices Judaism, but not to the full extent that my friend Sarah, an Orthodox Jew, would. But she still keeps Kosher and she goes to synagogue on the High Holy Days. But when it comes to religion, I am thoroughly confused. My mother's family had been Roman Catholic, and my father's family had been Episcopalian. When I was born, the fought over where to have me baptiszed, so as a result I wasn't baptiszed. I almost wish I had been born one religion- it would have made things a lot easier.
January 25th:
Today Samantha and I spent the day together. We went shopping at Bloomingdale's, then we went to lunch, then we just windowed shopped down in SoHo. Even though at first I didn't really like Samantha (probably because my dad HID her from me practically), I'm really glad to have her as my stepmother. My own mother is great, but when I'm here in New York, it's nice to have another female around. For example, it was always hard to explain to my dad why I would occasionally have to run to the drugstore at 10:00 at night for 'woman things'. At first when Rachael was born, I was worried that my dad might get divorced and that Rachael would be a divorced kid like me. But now I've realized something- my dad has really loosened up. Not that he was ever strict or uptight like MaryAnne's dad, but he was a workaholic. It was one of the things that caused the divorce, actually. But I also realized that the reason he's changed is because of Samantha. He loves her (and Rachael) so much that he's willing to make it work. I don't feel bad about it either, because as much as I wish he and my mom were together, I know he and Samantha are more right for one another. If I can't have one perfect family, I might as well have two great ones.
January 29th:
Grrrr! I don't know what is up with Sam lately. For the last week or two he's been so crabby. Even since school started actually. Now I know school is a big stressor, but Sam's a junior and he should be used to it by now. Besides, he didn't act this way at the start of the year. I called Kristy a few days ago, and she said he's been equally weird with her and her family. We were supposed to go out on Sunday, for lunch, but at the last minute he called and cancelled. After classes today, we were studying in his dorm, and he was being such a pain! We ended up having a little argument over something stupid, and it snowballed into a huge fight. He eventually yelled, "Just go home Stacey! Just go!" So I did. I hailed a cab and went home. Of course I cried my share of tears on the way. Not just because he hurt me (which he did), but also because I wish I knew what was bugging him. Maybe I could help him if I did.or at least I could talk to him. Sigh. On the upside, Rachael is now crawling like crazy. She's so cute the way she scoots around. But in an apartment that used to be occupied by two adults and a teenager, we had to do a very thorough baby-proofing. Most of everything I own is now on top of my desk or dresser. But she's growing so fast, and is so adorable, I'm not mad. I guess I'll finish studying alone now. Later.
Ahh- 5 pm and I just woke up. I am so tired, since I didn't get home until 11am today, and then I ate a quick lunch and practically fell into bed. But last night was a BLAST! It was just like old times, all of us BSC members gathered together at Mary Anne and Dawn's house. We talked about everything- college, boys, sex, clothes, our plans for the future. I hadn't realized just how much I had missed my friends until last night. I missed our sleepovers- just the eight of us, sitting around in our pajamas, laughing and talking, and eating popcorn. The only low point of the evening was when Kristy and Abby got into some argument. It started out over some sports thing, and eventually moved to school, guys and everything else. But by the end they were laughing, and so were the rest of us. Kristy and Abby always did argue a lot, since both are so opinonated. The amazing thing about last night was that we didn't just chat, but we had some serious conversations. Like with Dawn, about her being a lesbian. I never realized how difficult some people could make life for her. They can be very cruel, just because of her sexuality. They don't realize how beautiful a person Dawn is, all the see her as being is "some lesbian chick". It's disgusting to think how mean people can be. Then there's Claudia, who's met Brett, this amazing guy at school. She says that he's everything she ever wanted in a boyfriend. I am so amazingly happy for her. Well, I have to go eat dinner now (Diabetes forces you to eat very much on schedule), but I will add more later!
January 7th:
My last day in Stoneybrook. I'm pretty sad about that. It's been a great vacation- I've had a lot of fun with my friends, I spent some quiet time with Sam, and it was so nice to see Mom again. I also spent some time working at 'Fresh' (her store, remember?), and made some money (much needed by a college student). Today I'm just finishing packing some of my stuff, saying goodbye to Claudia, who leaves tomorrow (Dawn and Abby already left, and Mary Anne's leaving today). Tomorrow is Saturday, and Sam and I are taking the 10 am train back to New York. I have a one day rest (well, technically the whole break has been a rest) and the classes start again on Monday already. It's gone by way too fast! Oops! I gotta run! I' m supposed to meet Claud at the Rosebud Café in 20 minutes!!! Bye!
January 9th:
Back in New York. I slept later today (noon), but the thing that sucks about sleeping late when you have Diabetes, is that you can't really do it. I had to get up at 8am, take my shot, eat my breakfast, and then return to bed. Sure I fell back asleep because I was plenty tired, but it just wasn't the same, you know? But now I'm up ( I woke up when Rachael started screaming for food), and I'm just sitting here writing. I had a nice lunch with Dad, Samantha and Rachael. I really missed them while I was gone. When I got back they gave me all my Christmas gifts, and I gave them theirs. I got a really nice sweater from Samantha, as well as a gift certificate to Bloomie's from both Dad and Sam. Rachael also "gave me" a picture of herself, taken professionally. It's so cute, I'm going to put it on my desk. Rachael is 7 months old now, almost 8 months. It's hard to believe! She is getting to be a real character. She laughs, smiles, and she can crawl. Her head, which was once almost bald except for a little peach fuzz, now has a mass of golden curls on top, and her eyes are sparkling blue. Everyone says she looks like me, which I take as a compliment, because she's so cute. Sigh- classes start tomorrow. Some schools (like Kristy's) get over four weeks for vacation. I only get a little less than three. Not fair! This semester should be (slightly) easier since I'm more familiar with how the school works. I'm taking Calculus 3 (oh Lord, good luck with that one!), English 102, Psychology 101, Accounting 102, Economics 101. Five classes- I hope I can manage! My first class isn't until 10 am tomorrow, which means I don't have to leave for the subway until around 9. I have English 102 at 10 with Professor Livingston. My friend Ronia had her for 101, and says she's a good prof. Then at 12:30 I have Economics 101 with Professor Gies (never heard of him) and then at 3:00 I have Calc 3, with Professor Hartley (never heard of him either). I suppose I should go see if Samantha needs help with Rachael. Later.
January 15th:
Well, I'm back in the swing of things at school. It was nice to see my friends again, especially Sarah, and this other girl, Ronia, who I'm friends with. Ronia's family went to Florida over the holidays. They're Muslim, and they don't celebrate Christmas, and since Ramadan was over long ago, they decided to take a trip to Disney world with her two younger brothers. Sarah ended up being in my English class, so I have lots of time to talk to her, between English and riding the Subway/bus together. She had a great Hanukkah season- she and her family go to her grandmother's in Long Island in every year on the first and last nights of Hanukkah for a big celebration. The nights in between she says they stay at home and celebrate, and also go to synagogue. Between Sarah and Ronia, I've been learning a lot about other religions! It's interesting for me though, since (as I've mentioned) I wasn't raised religious. Other than that, I am really enjoying my classes this semester. My Accounting 101 class is VERY interesting. and the professor is great. I really like him- he makes the lectures interesting, not dry and boring (well, as interesting as Accounting can be!) The best part of this semester, however, has been my yoga class I'm taking. When I was in Stoneybrook, Mom took me to a couple of her Yoga classes. They were really relaxing- a nice break from the hectic days. So, she offered to pay for me to take classes here in NYC. I found a class at small Dance/Aerobic Studio near NYU, so I signed up. The class meets on Wednesdays from 7-8pm, and it's all adult women over the age of 18. I have met some amazing women in that class- there are few college students like me, including one girl named Charity who I've gotten pretty close with. Then there are a lot of women my mom's age, mostly mothers and businesswomen who are stressed out. There are also quite a few women in their 40's and 50's, a lot of them looking to relax from the stresses of menopause. One of the most amazing women, though, is a woman named Elizabeth. She's 72 years old, and in great shape. She's into Yoga and Relaxation. I find it inspiring that at her age, she is still interested in keeping her body in good condition. I hope to be like her when I'm that age! Well, I'm tired, and it's time for be so I think I will leave off here. Night!
January 18th:
Today was Saturday, and it was also Samantha's birthday. She turned 30. I can't believe she's that young (well her maiden name is Young, I guess). But my Dad is going to be 42 this summer. that's a huge age difference! He could have baby-sat for her. But it doesn't matter now, I guess. We had a little party for her here at home, just the four of us, which was nice. Then for dinner Dad and Samantha went out with some of their friends, and I'm babysitting for Rachael, which is why I'm stuck home on a perfectly good Saturday night. I asked Sam to come over and help me sit, but he's home writing a huge paper that he has due. Rachael's asleep now, as it's almost 11:00, but Dad and Samantha won't be home until 1 or 2 am. However, I think I will close my eyes and try to rest a little, and hope I will wake up if Rachael cries. Later!
January 19th:
Remember that friend of mine from Yoga, Charity? She and I went walking in Central Park this morning. We left at 8 am, which was a real shock for me considering I normally don't WAKE UP until 8 on Sundays. Charity's really nice though- she has long, dishwater blonde hair (sort of like Dawn's, only darker and thicker), green eyes, and she's very petite. She a Sophomore at Columbia University here in New York. She's a poet, and she's majoring in English. Oh yeah, she's also a very devout Christian. Now, some of my friends are Christian, however they're not quite as "gung ho" about it as Charity is. Charity says she's Evangelical, and she wears a cross all the time, and is always talking about "Christ" and "Her Lord". She asked me to go to Church with her after our walk, but I felt really weird about that since I'm not at all religious. In fact, I'm not even Christian, really. I believe in God, I'm not an atheist, however I don't really know what I think about Jesus. But I've been thinking about religion a lot lately. What's interesting, is that most of my Stoneybrook friends are at least a little religious. Claudia's family is Christian- no particular denomination. They go to The First Congregational Church of Stoneybrook. I've been there twice- once when Mimi died, and once when Lynn was christened. Mary Anne isn't any particular religion either- her father was Presbyterian and her mother was Jewish. However Mary Anne sometimes goes to church with her father. Kristy's family, as I mentioned, is Roman Catholic, as is Mallory Pike's family. Dawn's family is Methodist, and Jessi's family is Baptist. Most of them go to Church on Christmas and Easter, at least. Abby is the only non-Christian member of the BSC (well aside from Mary Anne), and she is a Reformed Jew. That means that she practices Judaism, but not to the full extent that my friend Sarah, an Orthodox Jew, would. But she still keeps Kosher and she goes to synagogue on the High Holy Days. But when it comes to religion, I am thoroughly confused. My mother's family had been Roman Catholic, and my father's family had been Episcopalian. When I was born, the fought over where to have me baptiszed, so as a result I wasn't baptiszed. I almost wish I had been born one religion- it would have made things a lot easier.
January 25th:
Today Samantha and I spent the day together. We went shopping at Bloomingdale's, then we went to lunch, then we just windowed shopped down in SoHo. Even though at first I didn't really like Samantha (probably because my dad HID her from me practically), I'm really glad to have her as my stepmother. My own mother is great, but when I'm here in New York, it's nice to have another female around. For example, it was always hard to explain to my dad why I would occasionally have to run to the drugstore at 10:00 at night for 'woman things'. At first when Rachael was born, I was worried that my dad might get divorced and that Rachael would be a divorced kid like me. But now I've realized something- my dad has really loosened up. Not that he was ever strict or uptight like MaryAnne's dad, but he was a workaholic. It was one of the things that caused the divorce, actually. But I also realized that the reason he's changed is because of Samantha. He loves her (and Rachael) so much that he's willing to make it work. I don't feel bad about it either, because as much as I wish he and my mom were together, I know he and Samantha are more right for one another. If I can't have one perfect family, I might as well have two great ones.
January 29th:
Grrrr! I don't know what is up with Sam lately. For the last week or two he's been so crabby. Even since school started actually. Now I know school is a big stressor, but Sam's a junior and he should be used to it by now. Besides, he didn't act this way at the start of the year. I called Kristy a few days ago, and she said he's been equally weird with her and her family. We were supposed to go out on Sunday, for lunch, but at the last minute he called and cancelled. After classes today, we were studying in his dorm, and he was being such a pain! We ended up having a little argument over something stupid, and it snowballed into a huge fight. He eventually yelled, "Just go home Stacey! Just go!" So I did. I hailed a cab and went home. Of course I cried my share of tears on the way. Not just because he hurt me (which he did), but also because I wish I knew what was bugging him. Maybe I could help him if I did.or at least I could talk to him. Sigh. On the upside, Rachael is now crawling like crazy. She's so cute the way she scoots around. But in an apartment that used to be occupied by two adults and a teenager, we had to do a very thorough baby-proofing. Most of everything I own is now on top of my desk or dresser. But she's growing so fast, and is so adorable, I'm not mad. I guess I'll finish studying alone now. Later.