Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto, and I never will, but as long as I have this disclaimer up here, I can right as many Naruto fics as I want. So that's a good thing ^^

Summary – After an incident, the pain, the loneliness, the deceit, the crying, shatter Naruto. Now he wants to make everyone happy, and what better way to make them happy then to rid them of him? After the attempt fails, Naruto isolates himself, thinking a fearing that everyone is against him, that they hate him, and that he is just a pain in there side. How can team 7 and a few others take Naruto out of this depression? Or worse…what if he does something horrible before they can?

Morgri- Gee!!! Not lots of angst in that last chapter…..ssssooooorrrrrrryyyyy. Anyway, there will be a lot more angst in this chapter and later ones.

"Speaking"

(Thoughts)

*other peoples writing*

Flashback

*~*~* Shift in time or scene*~*~*

Shattered

By: Morgri

Chapter Four

There are four words I never could comprehend… the first one is "kindness." I searched for the meaning of that word for a long time, but I never found it. I thought that kindness was when some person said "hey good job" but… I guess I will never know since nobody ever said that to me. I thought kindness was doing something that would make another person happy… but… nobody ever made me happy. I thought kindness meant cheering up someone who was down, but… nobody ever did that to me. Maybe… kindness is something that I'll never see or feel. Maybe for someone like me kindness was something that was never meant to be.

But… what am I ranting about that word for? I don't even know what it means… Is it something you feel? Is it something you do? Maybe it's both… but some loser like me shouldn't know… because someone like me is hopeless… someone like me doesn't deserve kindness. I've done so many wrong things to hurt those poor people that I can't even keep count… in fact, sometimes I don't even know what I did wrong! It's so strange… it makes me feel horrible… but what do feelings count for? Especially for someone like me, who doesn't deserve to feel kindness.

The second word I could never comprehend is that word "happy". I always thought it was to wear a smile, to play with friends, to laugh with others. I thought happy was when you felt so great that nothing in the world could bring you down. I thought happiness was when all your problems went away! Happy was supposed to be something you couldn't describe… ever! When somebody was happy it made others happy! Smiles would make more smiles, and frowns would disappear just like clouds disappear right after it stops raining. That is… happy… isn't it.

But… I have no right to talk about that either. When I smiled I was never happy, when I laughed it wasn't real, I played with no friends… I never have had any. When other people smiled… I cried… my problems never went away; my smile never appeared when other people smiled! No… no I smiled all right, but inside I still felt despair, loneliness, stress, hopelessness and weakness… all at the same time. I was constantly under pressure, constantly under grief, constantly scared that I would do something wrong… that they would make me cry again… so I just… faked… faked my smile, faked my strength… I faked everything! So who am I to be talking about such a beautiful word? How people can say that word and not think of how powerful it is… is just so incredible to me.

They know what that word means, I wish… I did too.

The third word is "friend". That word is a funny word… friend. I have so many mixed feelings about that word. I always thought that a friend was someone you could trust, I thought a friend was someone who said "You're a great person Naruto, I'm glad you're my friend". I thought a friend was someone who protected you when you were in trouble, who defended you when you're being attacked. I thought a friend was someone that tried to cheer you up when you were down.

You know… it was so close. I almost thought I had a friend, I though that I could finally be proud of calling someone my friend, but then… I found that all I did was burden them… from a certain mission, or a certain plane. I found that I always got in the way. I was no friend to them… but they didn't consider me to be there friends either… they never cheered me up… they never cried with me, heck, for all I know they didn't even care if I was about to die! So… that's another word I don't understand… another word that I probably will never understand. But, I don't deserve to anyway. A burden like me doesn't deserve friendship.

The fourth word just struck me… as I heard it just moments before. That word, "love", that one word just… I donno know. I heard that love was doing anything for a person. I heard that love was kind, that it didn't envy anybody, I heard it never vaunted itself, I heard it did no seek her own, that it wasn't easily provoked, that it bared all things, hoped all things, endured all hardships with another person. I heard love never failed. I heard that one word was so powerful that people would actually sacrifice themselves for another. I heard that love was a feeling so powerful that you couldn't describe bliss it gave you. Love was supposed to be so great that receiving a kiss from somebody was the greatest thing in the world. Hearing an "I love you" would bring so much happiness to another person. That just loving was enough to make you feel secure…

But… what is this love? Nobody ever did anything for me. I guess I was too much of a burden for love, I guess I provoked it to much. I guess it just couldn't bare me. It never did seek anything for me. I guess I failed too much for it. I never have received a kiss, never have heard an "I love you". No one ever sacrificed anything for me. I never have felt secure.

What is love?

Love?

I hate that word… because it will never love me.

How could I ever get love? I don't even love myself! I hate myself, I hate my look, I hate my actions, I hate everything about me. Why shouldn't I? Everybody else does.

I don't have kindness, I don't have happiness, I don't have friends… I don't love…

You know… maybe… I… do have a friend.

Pain?

Yes! Pain!

It was always there for me!

That day I cut myself… I felt… good. It felt like I had all the pleasures in the world.

The blood… it looked so great…

My blood…

I want to see more! More… of my blood!

Haha… how stupid of them, look! They put these needles inside my body! I could – let me take one. Wow, it's – ouch – so sharp – ouch – my blood! It looks so happy… that it's leaving me.

Let me… just cut… a little further…

Ugh… it hurts, but just for a second… but that's nothing compared to the – to this sensation. It feels so good… like… it's accepting me… like it wants me to be with it. It feels like someone finally… finally likes me. Let me just cut… a little deeper…

Look! The blood is running down my clothes now… just like that last time… but I don't care! Someone… is finally accepting me. I'll let this be… my friend…

My friend… everybody else's enemy…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

She was shocked, was he trying to do it again? She watched, eyes wide… mouth open in dread, as she saw his blood dribble down his clothes and trickle on to the floor. Every drop that hit the ground sounded in ear loudly, like a bomb hitting ground.

He looked at her… he was… light-headed… but not like last time. He was smiling this time, a different kind of smile… a smile he never wore before. It mixed confusion, desperation, loneliness, and acceptance all at once… this smile. His eyes showed the same… except it looked as if… as if he enjoyed watching the blood leave his body.

That is what scared her… his eyes. They were so dull; they were not the blue shining eyes she was used to… they were dark, very dark eyes. Those eyes… were what made her not move… they were what made tears come to her eyes.

That wasn't Naruto… no, not the person she saw. The Naruto she knew was always confident, and though he was often obnoxious, ignorant, annoying… he was still Naruto, the boy that she grew to know.

Then again… did she know the real Naruto? What kind of hell was Naruto living in? He was a demon? She would probably have been doing the same long before Naruto did. How could it have been? Always in fear that somebody would try to assassinate him at any time, always scared that what ever he did was wrong… that he lived in constant failure.

Sakura's tears slid down her eyes. How could somebody live without being able to come home to a family? To never hear an "I love you"? To always be mocked and despised just because they said that he was something he wasn't? It wasn't right. Maybe… that's why he tried suicide. Because of people… people like her.

She was the same as everybody else, she abused him… there was no doubt about it, and even though it wasn't physical abuse… it was sure mental abuse. She could remember, as a kid how she called him names and despised him just as all the other kids did. She mentally kicked herself for doing this; she just wanted to be in the group of "popular" kids so every time she found them insulting him she did the same. She guessed it became a habit… kids follow there parents example, and after seeing that her parents hated the boy… she had too… do the same. Well, she didn't have to… but she wanted too.

And that past habit became a future habit, which continued to be a habit… until just three days ago. That's when she noticed what that can do. Never did she know what kind of emotional stress Naruto went through. Reading that poem… she was shocked, such melancholy thoughts, such a bad outlook at life. He really… deserved better, much better.

Sakura stepped into the room and slowly walked toward the bathroom in where she grabbed a small rag. She turned the faucet on and felt the hot water run down her hands as she soaked the rag. She carefully wrung out the rag and approached Naruto as slowly as she could… not wanting to frighten him.

"Please… stop, Naruto" Sakura whispered as she caught his arm. She held it as softly as she could, she didn't want him to… react like he did last time. "Please stop it," Sakura pleaded taking the needle out of his hand. He turned his head toward her, the way he looked. His eyes watered, is smile disappeared. Only a look of despair and anguish remained on his face. A look that Sakura could never comprehend… something she DIDN'T want to comprehend.

He began to cry.

Something…

Sakura wasn't used too.

Something…

Sakura didn't want to get used too.

Maybe… someday – someone – could help him. But who could Naruto trust? He tried to trust some one… but they only treated him like dust.

A single tear rolled down Sakura's cheek.

"Naruto…" Sakura sighed as she started wiping the blood from his wounds. The blood soaked into the rag changing the color red. There wasn't much else she could do, but she could at least be as kind as she could… even if… he did cry.

"Why Naruto, Why?" She stammered over herself as she looked at his face. Was kindness what he needed? Yes… but there was more, and that, Sakura was unable to find. "What do you need? Why can't you become yourself again!?" She tried to speak softly but was unable to do so. He… the way… she couldn't… what was it that he needed? Couldn't someone – anyone give it to him?

He was sniffling now… she new it… he was going to cry harder now. She wanted to hug him, she really did, but he would accept her. This crushed her; all she could do was wipe the blood from wounds that he himself created! Tears rolled down her own eyes now, "Can't you… at least tell me what you ne--,"

"He needs acceptance, Sakura…" A boy responded to her question even before she had finished, "He needs, kindness, he needs love, he needs happiness… he needs someone who can give him that."

"Sasuke!" Sakura cried as she rushing over to hug him. He accepted her hug. Somehow Sasuke had managed to pull himself over to the hospital. He felt tremendous guilt for what he did in the hospital just days ago.

He looked over towards Naruto, he stopped crying… because now she wasn't there… she couldn't hurt him… or so he thought she wanted to hurt him. Sasuke sighed… he should have acknowledged him earlier… when he… had the chance. Now he couldn't even train without thinking of Naruto. Even Kakashi told him to go visit Naruto so he could clear his mind.

Sasuke watched as Naruto attempted to take out another needle. Sasuke pointed it out to Sakura who ran to take the needle away. Sasuke frowned and he saw the boy begin to cry again… what could he do? Or… what could he believe? This weak person in front of him was not the Naruto that he considered his rival, this Naruto he saw was just… helpless.

Helpless…

Like Sasuke once had been… when his brother, Itachi Uchiha, killed everyone in his family. It took him years to get over it, how long would it take Naruto?

He had to admit… he was worried about the boy. That boy was his teammate… that boy… was his friend.

"Naruto," Sakura said looking at Sasuke in a serious manner, "He is… that fox."

"What?!" Sasuke snarled, "Is that why the people want him dead?"

"My mother… hoped that he would die…"

"I was surrounded with people who asked me if I thought he would… try… again."

"But Sasuke! He is not really… that fox, is he?"

"Well, it depends on who you are," Sasuke began to explain, "The people see him as that demon because they don't want to except that it's gone. While you… and *I*" he said the I almost with a hint of a blush out of embarrassment (he was admitting something that he would have never done!), "see him as a friend because we know… he is Naruto, not the demon. It's kind of complicated."

"I see," She frowned as she starred at the boy, "I never knew… people could be so – that people could live so much in the past – it's now… Naruto is Naruto, he is not the fox… he is OUR Naruto."

Sasuke only shook his head.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Ah, home at last," A cheerful chuunin sighed in relief. His last mission turned out to be a tiring one. He had to travel all the way to a different country and bring a special note from a different Kage. "Oh, hey Kakashi!" He waved as he saw Kakashi approach him.

"We have a situation, involving Naruto," Kakashi said starring straight into Iruka's eyes.

"Oh no, what did Naruto do now?" Iruka sighed as he sat down on a bench, "I was hoping I could actually get some rest today."

"Well what he did might shock you," Kakashi looked up to see the clouds. Even he, at first, couldn't believe what Naruto had done.

"Well, spit it out," Iruka frowned.

"He tried to…" Kakashi sighed, he knew, when he told Iruka, that the news would be hard on him. Iruka did hold Naruto dearly, so dearly in fact that he would have called Naruto his son any day. "Naruto tried to…"

"Well!?"

"Naruto tried to commit suicide…" Kakashi said softly.

Iruka shoulders sunk, "Your… he did… no, Naruto didn't do that… don't joke around," Iruka tried to laugh it off, it wasn't true.

"No, he did… he is in the hospital right now."

"No…"

-End Chapter 4-

WWWWWWAAAAAAAA!!!!!!! I finished chapter four. A little shorter then usual, sorry people! The next one will be longer ^_^. I don't think I was completely satisfied at this chapter, but hopefully you like it. As Always R&R.

By the way here is the timeline so far.

Chapter 1-2: Day 1

Chapter 3: Day 2

Chapter 4: Day 3