Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto, and I never will, but as long as I have this disclaimer up here, I can right as many Naruto fics as I want. So that's a good thing ^^

Summary – After an incident, the pain, the loneliness, the deceit, the crying, shatter Naruto. Now he wants to make everyone happy, and what better way to make them happy then to rid them of him? After the attempt fails, Naruto isolates himself, thinking a fearing that everyone is against him, that they hate him, and that he is just a pain in there side. How can team 7 and a few others take Naruto out of this depression? Or worse…what if he does something horrible before they can?

Morgri- Well people, we arrive at chapter six. I hope you guys have enjoyed the story so far. It seems Naruto is getting a little better eh? Well we'll have to see as the story continues. Anyway, I hope things are seem realistic… I'm not sure how I'm portraying Naruto right now… do you think it would be better to keep the "beginning" thoughts of Naruto… or to go right into a story? Well it's up to you!

Happy Valentines Day all! Hope you enjoy it! Find a girl or guy, ask her or him out, and have some fun! It's always good to have some fun… especially on valentine's day… when certain games come to mind…*Thinks of spin the bottle* XD. Well anyway… enjoy the chapter!

"Speaking"

(Thoughts)

*other peoples writing*

Flashback

*~*~* Shift in time or scene*~*~*

Shattered

By: Morgri

Chapter Six

Life is odd. You believe one thing, but after so long… you see… that the belief you had was wrong… totally wrong. I had a belief once. I thought… that I could make friends… I thought… that people were kind… and helpful… and great… and friends. Then, though, I got the real message. They didn't want me. No matter what I believed, no matter what I did, they hated me. They still hate me. For what I am, for what I do, for what I look like. It's funny how it is… isn't it? How one person is accepted because he's good at this and that… but the next person that's just as good… is cast off… I believed I was just as good… I believed I *could* have been just as good. But… I wasn't.

And I learned that when good old Frustration came into my life. Yes, it's been here a while, through my façade it was here. When I was younger it was here… it's still with me. Can I accept it? Yes! But… I wish I… didn't have too.

I here the drops of rain outside… it's nighttime. The time when I feel the loneliest I can. This is the time I'm really lonely. In the day… I could always watch them… I could always see the sun. Sure… it frowned upon me, but… that was ok… because… at least other people were happy.

You see…

When I see that there happy… I want to become happy, and I think I've found away to do that! That's why… I hid this is my jacket… when those… two people came. But I don't understand…, why did it hurt me when they made blood come out… but when I do it… it feels… good? I guess… because… they do it because they… don't want me to have that feeling… they want to make… me…

When Hinata had her arms around me… when I was close to her… it almost felt… like that feeling I get when I cut myself. It was so strange… I felt so – what she said, how she said… I almost thought! I thought… that… maybe… I wasn't alone. I didn't – I seemed – I thought… she wanted me there… with her. The way she spoke… the way she looked… even with the small glance I had… it didn't look like the way other people look at me, she – it seemed – didn't look at me that way. Her eyes… they looked as if she actually… cared about me.

What was that feeling?

Why?

Why can't I have that feeling more often? Why do I have to feel pain before that feeling that I'm looking for. I wish I could have that feeling without the pain. But maybe… that's the only way I can have that feeling. Maybe I was created to have that feeling with pain while others can enjoy it without pain.

I know why… it's not secret anymore. It's because… *I* am created for pain. I was the one that shouldn't have been here, I was the mistake! That's… all I ever will be. A mistake! Something people should never have to love… something they never have to love. The thing people don't have to respect, or be kind too, or be friends with. I the one that's a shame! I'm the person *no-one* wants to be with. I'm just a shameful *creature* --wait! – I'm not even that! Not even a creature! You can't even call me a beast!

That's right!

Because… Beasts – at least there respected! Some are even loved! But not me… because I'm not worth love. I'm not worth anything. Nothing at all! I'm just sinking to the bottom of the sea… and no one is there to save me! In fact… the sea doesn't want me either! It would do something to get me away from it! Because nobody wants me…

But then… why? Why did *she* look differently at me? Why did her touch feel different? How… could her touch feel different? Why would she want to touch or have anything to do with me? A disgrace, a shame, a mistake; what part does she – does anybody want of me?

I was a created mistake… and I'll probably always be that…

But that's ok!

As long… as there happy… and as long as I have this… it's ok with me. Because… because… this actually wants me! With every drop that this allows to come out… a new feeling comes through me! It's like something that I have never felt before; it's like… accepting me. Well… maybe not that… but at least it seems to be that. I really don't know what "acceptance" is, but whatever that feeling is… is okay with me! Because… I think that's what I want. I don't know though… I'm still not sure…

But O well

They stopped me before. But this time I'll cut here again. This place felt the best… except this time… I'll do it on the other wrist too! I wonder what both will feel like. Why do they always take it away from me? I mean – or – maybe they just… want me to… not feel that feelings. Because there scared! Because they hate me! Well, why should I care! I'm leaving them alone…! Can't… they… let me have that feeling at least once without stopping me… just for a little while?

I'll cut right now… nobodies here… and I don't think anybodies coming soon. Right here – oohh – that hurt… more then last time… but the blood is coming out the same! And it feels the same! Let me go to… the other wrist… and slowly rub it with the kunai… I wonder how it will feel. Just… slo – oww – it hurts… but… not that badly.

Wow…

There's more blood coming out on this side… then the other side. Why? Maybe… I should cut deeper on the other wrist. Besides… the deeper I cut the better it feels. Well… that's how it's been…

I wonder why, though…

Sure, pain in my friend… but it seems odd. Just a little bit ago I was complaining about the pain… but now… I want to have it in order to… get that feeling.

Well…

As long as other people aren't mad… I guess it's ok… because… I guess… I'm worth something to myself…

But that's not bad is it? That I think I'm worth something. I mean… even if my own blood doesn't want me… or my own soul doesn't want… I still can want me… alone… right? Cause… I'm not mad at me… I know I do a lot of stuff wrong… and I'm a mistake… but, I still can like myself.

Besides… all I want is – what do I want? I don't know… I just want… just want… to be happy… I just want… love, kindness, and friendship.

But just because I don't have that… doesn't mean I'm not worth something… even if it's only me who thinks I'm worth something…

So…

I'll just take what I got… even if it's watching my own blood runaway…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tsunade sat grumbling to herself over a large pile of papers. Right now… she hated being Hokage. Why? She was stuck here signing a bunch of papers that were all likely stupid not needed policies and crap while Naruto sat depressed in the hospital. She was quite fond of the boy. Especially since giving Naruto her necklace, he still… did wear it. Naruto did promise he wouldn't take it off until he became Hokage… she took him for his word; which resulted in the problem… Naruto… was depressed. Not just depressed, suicidal! Which meant it would probably be a while before he took it off. She mentally scolded herself because even though she was a doctor she had never ever… seen a patient like Naruto.

Of course, she had scene suicidals before; sure she had seen cases of depression before; but she knew… she knew that Naruto's was different. He… wasn't like the other cases she had. Her other patients had parents that loved them, friends that they could rely on, love, affection, they thought they never had. Naruto, however, never did have any of these. Growing up he had no parents, no friends, no love, no affection, no kindness. The poor boy had nothing.

How do you work with that?

It was no wonder Naruto was suicidal! Tsunade didn't know how to work with that. A boy with nothing; sure… she knew that he *now* had friends… and she knew that somebody may have even loved him… but… it was probably too late for him.

That was the whole essence of suicide! Make the person believe it was too late… that nobody cares… that everyone hates you. Suicide wants you to think that you are a nuisance, or that the mistake you made was something that was punishable unto death. PEOPLE COMMIT SUICIDE BECAUSE OF THAT! Naruto… he… always had that. Everything was a mistake… everyone hated him… nobody cared about him.

How!?

How could you fight that!? If people make minor, stupid mistakes and commit suicide… what would someone whose whole life was, in essence, a *big* mistake? How was he able to bear his life in the first place!? Tsunade couldn't imagine the struggle Naruto had to deal with. No-one absolutely no-one should have had to deal with that. But… Naruto… did.

Tsunade sighed, what a poor boy. Even after showing himself worthy of praise and love and friendship… people still… hated him. If only they could have stopped living in the past. Tsunade knew that the past hurt… it hurt everyone… even her, but to put the blame on someone who did not deserve it… such people… were so selfish. Selfish beyond imagination!

Still… she couldn't figure out why the people isolated there kids from Naruto. They were very lucky! Lucky that Naruto became what he was… and nice, bighearted, caring boy… who when he finally couldn't take it… just… isolated himself... among the people. Any other boy would have probably tried to get revenge… especially if they knew… that they were a demon. Why they had seen it before! It was lucky Naruto never became a Garaa. The people didn't look at that… all they thought about was how Naruto was still that demon. Sure… he was that demon… but he showed control… he showed that he was… really… not that demon… that he was a person… just like everyone else.

So Selfish… Even she… for not going to visit Naruto, was selfish. She couldn't blame herself though… Hokage held huge responsibility.

Tsunade, however, found herself screwed up with other problems. Even… though she wanted to see Naruto and encourage him… she couldn't right now. She would have to deal with Sasuke… who did… kill two people. She felt for him though… in his position she probably would have done the same thing. Still it WAS murder.

Tsunade stopped rustling through her papers the moment Sasuke entered. She showed him to a seat in which he only showed her a glare.

She started, "Look Sasuke, I know you want to Naruto to be safe but… you can't go out killing people at will."

"What else could I do!?" He screeched, "They were going to kill him! I gave them what they deserved… death!" Sasuke showed more emotion then he had ever done before. And why not!? Why not manifest all his emotion, especially why not to the highest person in all Konoha? He didn't care if others knew that he actually thought of Naruto as a friend! Especially now!

Naruto was a brother to the boy! Except… this brother… was the brother he always wished to have! He… was no killer! He was actually someone that Sasuke *almost* looked up too. Not that he would ever admit that, but Naruto did encourage him… well… a little. Sasuke… didn't want to see Naruto down… he would of rather suffered through Naruto's stupid tricks and dumb attitude… than see this… new Naruto.

He had to accept it though. The Naruto that was now… was the… real Naruto. However… he knew Naruto. Naruto was still the strong person who would never go back on his word… even if he was… down right now. Sasuke knew that right when Naruto snapped out of it he would become even stronger then he was now.

Though… doubts plagued his mind; even though he knew Naruto would become stronger if he got out of his depression. You see… there was the catch, IF, he got out. That scared him a little. Yes, scared him. He had been through the same thing; it took him years to get over it. Now Naruto faced with it… but he… was... he never had… a family.

No… Sasuke would keep killing people if he had too… especially… if people kept attacking… his… brother.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"What's going on?" The blood of a girl swam down her arm making it completely red. Fearful she was… rather not because of the blood… but because she held the object which set free the precious life source. Scarier even, was when she felt herself move to her other arm… slowly. She tried to stop herself! She… had no power to do so. What was wrong? She watched herself cut slowly into her wrist, desperately trying figure out what was happening. Why was she doing this?

Her mind suddenly imagined her past failures and mistakes. Why!? She didn't want to think of that? What was this feeling? It felt as if the whole world had betrayed her. She continually rubbed her wrist… the wound becoming deeper… and deeper. She watched almost in tears as blood began to slowly surface her wounded arm. Worst even… something made her… not want to stop. Her mind… didn't want her stop… her physical didn't want to stop. Why!? She wanted to stop! Or maybe… her soul… didn't want to stop.

She looked around desperately thinking of what she could do. A faucet lay right beside her. "Get up! Get up" she screamed to herself. Why!? Why did she make no effort to reach the faucet while trying to make an effort? She was… trapped inside… trapped inside her mind with bad thoughts. Even… while she protested… she… for some reason felt a… smile… come upon her… almost… as if she was relieved that this was happening… but why? She wasn't relieved! She wasn't happy. It was like another person was moving her… or controlling her.

She was… she was… committing suicide? She felt herself sigh. Her body was giving way… she was growing tired… she was growing sleepy… but she felt good? Her mind was wondering off. No she thought… she was losing consciousness… she was dying… and she… liked it. She felt something…

No!

She had what she wanted! A family! Someone she loved! Great friends… what was wrong with her… why was she losing… consciousness? Why did… her body… her mind… not care? Why was she smiling!? What was the weird feeling she had!?

It was become dark…

She was… dying?

Her eyes were closing…

She blinked… trying to stay awake…

She felt the knife cut more and more into her wrist trying to let more blood escape. Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop! Stop! Sto… her eyes closed…

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Knock Knock Knock Knock. Sakura woke up to the sound of someone knocking on her door. What happened? It was all a dream? How weird. She put her hand up to her head as to rub it. She… tried to commit suicide in her dream. Luckily… it *was* just a dream. She sighed; everything that was happening to Naruto must have gotten to her.

She got up and walked toward the door still thinking of that dream. "Sakura!" Someone hollered. It was Hinata.

"Hinata?" She questioned Opening the door. Hinata's shallow breaths told Sakura that she had ran all the way to her house.

"I-I'm sorry, but I was wondering If you could come and see Naruto-kun with me…" Sakura saw she was carrying flowers… most likely to replace the ones she had left a few days before.

Sakura smiled. Hinata was so kind to Naruto. She could see it. The way she acted around him, she really loved Naruto. Maybe… she would be the person who would make a difference in Naruto's life. Maybe it was she… who would be able to give Naruto what he needed. Besides… Naruto enjoyed being with Hinata… and he always spoke well about her. Much better then any of the other people.

"Ok, Hinata," Sakura said with a small smile, "Let's go." Maybe… she was the one… who would help Naruto… the most anyway.

Both girls scampered toward the door.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Sasuke watched Naruto cut deep into himself. He sighed making no attempt to stop him. He would just make matters worse. If he approached that boy… who knows what he would have done. For all Sasuke knew Naruto could have panicked and stab himself in the heart out fright. Though unlikely… Sasuke didn't want to take the chance. So instead, he sat in a small chair of to the side.

Maybe… he should have gone to get a nurse. But he didn't think that would be a good idea. He knew everybody hated Naruto, and even if a nurse was a nurse Sasuke still wasn't sure if she would treat Naruto right. He had to be careful… especially after some one tried to attack him just a day before. Though Tsunade reprehended him he would have a killed anybody else… if they… dared try to…

Sasuke turned eyes too Naruto and watch the pile of blood accumulate on his hand then drop to a smaller pool on the ground… this time… though… both hands. He couldn't see why Naruto would dare smile? And the smile he wore… something that Sasuke had never seen from him before. Something told Sasuke that smile… was… not Naruto's true smile. Something told him… it was a smile of… false hope. His eyes… also showed the same; dark blue… almost black eyes… not the eyes he usually wore. They were… sorta scary in a sense.

How do eyes do that? You can tell when something is wrong or not… just by the way eyes are. It so weird in a sense… it's so… freaky how even the people who never frown… eventually break down. Naruto did! He was as happy as they came… the liveliest person Sasuke ever saw. What a shock it was when he saw him lying on the floor that day! It was all a façade!? His strength? His energy? Everything? Just some made up Naruto that so eagerly sought attention? So eagerly sought attention… but so anxiously awaited it. All of it failed miserably! No matter what he did, no matter what he tried, it… always… failed!

Hinata ran in the room and took the kunai out of Naruto's hand and soon after embraced him while Sakura ran to get a rag to stop the blood flow. Sasuke sighed as he saw the way Sakura looked at him.

Naruto looked up at Hinata… looking dreamy. He heard Hinata call for a doctor. Naruto looked up at Hinata… the concern face she wore puzzled him. Why would anybody have concern for him? Odd…

The boy almost began pouting as soon as the doctor started to exam him. He had no doubt lost a lot of blood… and the doctor had no clue when Naruto had started cutting himself that day… but by the way he looked and by seeing how much blood was on the floor she was certain that he had done it a while back. Even worse… was the fact that Naruto had done this for the third day in a row… it was getting way… out of hand.

The almost unconscious boy wrapped his arms around Hinata… what did he want that he couldn't have? Or what did he want… that… they didn't know he needed. Hinata didn't mind the tears that soaked her clothes… just… the way… that Naruto cried. He shouldn't be crying… he should be laughing… or smiling… or talking… but… he was crying. What ever… could have been going on in his mind? What thoughts of despair? Or what thoughts of comfort?

Sakura sighed… that dream. She new what… was going on with Naruto. The despair in his mind… the mistakes in his mind… the comfort he gained while his own blood flowed away from his body. The smile of relief, the continual want… to cut deeper and deeper. It's what really kept Naruto going… knowing that he could be able to get that feeling back day after day. The feeling… that… Naruto so desperately needed from a person… was shifted to something… pain give him instead. Ironic as the trickery of the devil; when God seems so far away… the devil seems like he is so close… and can give you… what you need… when in reality it's the other way around. The lie consumes you… leading to something far worse then you could imagine.

What a lie! What a lie! When some one thinks his life is a mistake! When some one thinks he is valuable to no-one! When someone thinks that pain is the only resort to life… when suicide lies to be the only way out.

Naruto… was caught in that lie. The lie that pain brings relief… the lie that suicide is the way to go! The lie that takes hold on someone… when… nobody is there to hold and comfort that person… a person believes that… when in reality… it's just deception.

Sakura could only stare at Naruto… who was no unconscious… in the arms of Hinata. Could Hinata… could Naruto's friends… give him the love and support he needed? Or would he stay shattered for ever?

-End Chapter 6-

WWWAAAHHH!!!! Hooray! I'm finished of chapter six! I'm not sure I like this one as much as chapter five… but it will do! I don't think I put as much angst in it! I spent a lot of thought on it though! The next chapter will come soon! Thank you for your reviews everyone! And I hope you will read and review this chapter as well! If you have any suggestions or ideas that you would like to see added to this story… don't be scared to tell him me! I'm always open to suggestions! Well till next time; which will be very very soon!