Disclaimer – I don't own Naruto, and I never will, but as long as I have this disclaimer up here, I can right as many Naruto fics as I want. So that's a good thing ^^

Summary – After an incident, the pain, the loneliness, the deceit, the crying, shatter Naruto. Now he wants to make everyone happy, and what better way to make them happy then to rid them of him? After the attempt fails, Naruto isolates himself, thinking a fearing that everyone is against him, that they hate him, and that he is just a pain in there side. How can team 7 and a few others take Naruto out of this depression? Or worse…what if he does something horrible before they can?

Morgri- As you can see… there are some Naruhina hints, however, I don't know if there will be any romance in the story. If I do… it will be in the later last chapters of this story. Since Naruto is depressed he really doesn't care for romance right now… even though he craves attention and love. To make the story more real to life… you'll either encounter romance and the end or very end of the story, you will find slight naruhina, or you will find none at all. There might be some at the end, but like I said… I'm not sure.

Enjoy!

"Speaking"

(Thoughts)

*other peoples writing*

Flashback

*~*~* Shift in time or scene*~*~*

Shattered

By: Morgri

Chapter Seven

I wonder… if other people share the same things as me. The loneliness, the despair, the helplessness, the misery; am I the only one that feels this? Have others… had the same feelings as me?

I wonder…

Did I do this to myself? I wanna believe I didn't, but… the world out there… it seems so convincing… it must… be my fault that nobody ever understood me or liked me or talked to me. The world is so cruel. Cruel beyond my imagination; I want to believe that there is some good out there, I really do. But I can't. The world won't even let me love myself. It won't let me do anything… that I… like. It never did… so why should I believe that it ever will?

I often try to imagine what it would be like to have a family. I watch other kids get along with their parents… and such. I try so hard to imagine my mom, my dad, and even my little sister that I might have had! But I can't! I can't imagine it… because I don't what it is like to… have a family. How can I imagine something that special? I'm don't deserve something special like a family… everybody says so. They say it because they hate me!

But…

They deserve to hate me. Everyone of them deserve to hate me! Because I'm not worthy for their respect or kindness or love, I'm just worthy of their hate! That's why I never had anything! That's why I was trying to stay alive during Christmas while I watched other kids have fun with there… parents! That's the reason. I wonder why I could never see that!? It was right in front of me…

Or maybe…

I did know the answer… but… I didn't want to accept it. I lied to myself saying, "Maybe some will like me if I act like this!" I acted like an Idiot that whole time… and maybe… even made everyone hate me more.

Isn't that Ironic? Trying to be someone you think everyone will like… but it just makes it worse? It's like the whole story of my life. Something bad always happens. It always did… and it will continue to. I have to live with it though… or maybe… I should die with it…

That must be the answer! To die! It doesn't seem too bad. It's been a lot friendlier then life as been! I don't get it! Some many questions… yet so little answers, can my life get any worse? O wait… I forgot… my life has already hit rock bottom. Maybe it would… be better of I just went to a cliff and threw myself off. Ah! I picture it now! Everybody would smile as I fell. Then when I hit the bottom they would leave me there. They would probably declare the day a national holiday! They would exchange gifts and everything! Just – just because the nuisance, me, would be gone.

HA! Bet that would be a relieve to everyone! Maybe I should consider doing that. Especially if… it would rid me of my pain. Or maybe – They took the knife!? Why! Where did it go!?

Why…?

Great… I'm crying… again? I thought… I wouldn't have to cry anymore. With that knife I could… take away the crying. But here I go again… the tears… I can feel them running down my face. I can… wipe them away… but… why? Why should I wipe them away if… they will just keep coming back. It's so… strange… tears do go away… for other people… but not me.

I feel… uncomfortable. I don't know why… is it because I'm confused? Confused about all that's happening. I found so much relief in cutting myself… watching my blood flow away… from me. It seemed so happy, it seemed like everyone was actually happy that I was doing something. I couldn't see it… but I felt it. They were all cheering me on, they were all telling to cut deeper, to make more blood happy! I was so sure… so sure… that… I even… thought myself… that I was doing something right for a change. I… felt so good then… I still… want to have that feeling.

But then…

Out of the blue… some one else just comes out and makes me have that same feeling… without the pain. But… does… or is she… just tricking me? Why is she… making me feel… accepted? Why is she giving me the same exact feeling that I get when I… cut myself? Oh! I can't think straight… I feel bad.

I… don't feel so good… today. My head hurts… and… I feel like I can't do much today. I can barely even move my arms today, I just feel like… staying here… and… resting. Then… I'll find something… to cut myself with again. It won't be too bad… just a little… maybe… I can find another good place to cut. It hurts more when I cutt at the same place now… and there are the really big scars there now. They hurt when I move my wrist… maybe… I should have cut in a different spot. But… it feels so good when I cut there! I can't help it…

Anyway… something is happening… I know it. The doctor… has come in a lot today, and nobody as come here to bother me like they usually do. Though… I don't know what time it is… I think it's almost allmost midnight.

I feel sooo… tired, but I don't want to go to sleep. I've been having really bad dreams. They scare me. Something happens in those dreams.

I lose control of my body… I can't do anything… my body moves on its own. My arms start to bleed… followed by my hands… then legs… then feet… but the blood… when it leaves… it doesn't feel the same. It feels… horrible. I then begin searching for a weapon… any kind of weapon… it's different every time. I scream… I dunno why. Then… I look down and this weapon is inside me; I stumble towards a mirror. What's happening? Why am I doing this? I try to take the sword out… but I have no control… I can't do anything. As I look in the mirror… my eyes… there different. There smaller, there a different color. They look like the eyes from a demon trying to get out… from something that has been him sealed for years! There blood red eyes, so scary! I soon feel myself slipping onto the floor… I gain control… but… my energy is gone. I can't feel anything… I struggle trying to find something… trying to find someone. But… I'm too weak to walk. I crawl… desperately making my way toward the door… but I can't... I wake up.

Are those dreams… something that will happen in the future? And… why… when I'm bleeding… don't I get that feeling that I want? I mean… when I cut myself I get it. Then why not in my dream? It makes no sense.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Something was wrong. A sudden gasp from Naruto told himself that. Not just that, his heart told in so also. The flickering, jumping, pulsing of his heart told him. It wasn't right… it felt like it started then stopped… then started then stopped. It beat at different times, faster and slower, faster and slower.

Naruto clasped his heart. It hurt. He couldn't even scream, he only gasped. Or did he? It was too painful to tell. Was he gasping? Or was his breathing so shallow that the gasps were needed for air? Whatever it was… it was – he felt the most pain he ever had felt. His heart felt like it was trying to leave his body… by force.

He gripped a small bar that was to the right of his bed. He had to do something! What was happening? Why did it hurt? He didn't want it to hurt! He hurled himself to the floor. He had to get something… get someone to help! He found himself hard. If he could move… but he had to push himself… and it hurt… extremely.

With one hand on his heart and the other on the ground, he began pushing himself to the door. Was he moving? It didn't feel like it. The sheer pain he felt while pushing himself was incredible. Never… never… had he felt so much pain. His eyes were burning, of tears partly, but something else was happening. Something – was he losing control? He felt as if all the rage he ever had was… trying to leave his body, trying to escape and showing no mercy to the body it was escaping from!

Was this what rage did to a person? Consume him, devour him, eat his consciounce and soul, embibe his emotions, feed from his stress, and then when it is all over just leave? Leave with no compassion whatsoever? How… horrible. How horrible for something like that to happen.

It was happening though… to Naruto. Every bit of energy… every bit of emotion that Naruto had was coming out now. Except… it wasn't his real emotion… his real strength or weakness or happiness or sadness or excitement or boredom… it was pure rage. Or… maybe it was not just rage. Maybe it was revenge as well. Revenge and rage… what could that do to a person? Especially to a person that… had held those two things in heart for years!?

Not only that! The harsh conclusion was… that there was also a demon in him. Except this demon… held rage that was more then five thousand years old! A demon… and a boy who only knew hatred… rage and revenge… what could be a more deadly combination? Could it be… that… the demon… the horrid fox was trying to escape Naruto? Or could it be… Naruto… just him…?

Naruto looked toward his hand, still feeling the excruciating pain, it was bleeding. What was happening? Tears formed over tears and he watched his life source drip away from him. There was already a large puddle next to him. How long had he been bleeding? Couldn't have been long… or could it? Naruto couldn't think straight. Did this follow depression? Was it his fault that this was happening?
Depression…

He didn't like it…

He hated it…

He despised it…

He abhorred it…

But…

He had it…

And…

He… wanted it? Why though? Why would he want such a thing? Depression… nobody wants depression. But… depression… kept him away; Away from the people… away from the hate of the people, from the anger of the people, away from the unhappiness of the people. Did depression… in some way… soothe him? Why though…? All it brought was tears and unhappiness! It did! But… wasn't that the story of his life? Was that his… curse? Unhappiness? Everyone told him so… they all told him! They told him he was just a plain mistake… that he *WAS* supposed to live in unhappiness… that unhappiness was his role in the world.

Nothing more… nothing else…

Naruto stopped. He stopped everything he was doing. They were all right! Misery was is life! Why fight it? Why not just die right there and then. It wasn't like anybody *wanted* him alive. He could see it! See it in their eyes! They truly wanted him dead. All of them! He even… saw the same glare in his… teammates. The unhappiness that followed them when they where with him. There grumbling for a different teammate.

Yes, he remembered them. Why though? What was the point of remembering them anyway? Even… if he did… want to see him again, they would probably just disregard him. Heck… they probably wouldn't do anything… they probably wouldn't have even notice his being there. But again… what would be the point? Couldn't he just die here and get it over with?

He laid there… staring at his hand… watching the blood scurry to the floor. He took his other hand away from his heart and starred at it. It also… was cover in blood which ran down his arm and soaked his jacket. He left it drop in front on him. There was still pain. It hurt… it hurt a lot… but… could it bring the relief that Naruto so desperately wanted and needed? Or would it just… claim an innocent soul? Could… he… be happy… if he was gone?

A small sheepish… almost scary grin came across Naruto. The… pain… didn't seem to matter anymore. And now… the blood started to feel… better again. The large puddle of blood that lay before him… looked… nice again. Was death his ally? Was death his… friend? Naruto reached for the puddle of blood… and dipped a few fingers into it. He realized something.

You see…

This time… nobody was there. This time… there was nothing they could do. Because… this time… he wasn't doing it. This time… it was either Naruto who stopped it… or Naruto who didn't stop it.

And right now…

Naruto didn't want to.

Because…

Death and Pain… were is friends…

Because…

Death and Pain… accepted him.

Because…

They… wanted him.

Naruto coughed out blood. He still… didn't know the reason… he still didn't know why this was happening. His mouth felt like fire… and his eyes were burning… they were changing. Dilating? Yes… they were dilating, getting smaller and smaller. The pain was amazing… but Naruto didn't care. He didn't even… struggle for air anymore. And not struggling made the pain worse…

But…

Naruto wanted the pain. Naruto… wanted to die! It was apparent! He coughed out more blood and smiled. Smiled not because he was going to die, but, because of what he felt. He was tired… his vision was wavering, and even amist all that… he still had the nerve to smile at the now very large pool of blood that he was lying in. He smiled because… the liquid he was lying in wasn't cold… but rather… warm… something… he hadn't felt in a long time. Something… he wanted to feel. He smiled cause of the fact that now… his arms and legs were covered in the substance that people call blood. He smiled from the fact that nobody… nobody was there to stop him!

Nobody…

With nobody he lived…

With nobody would he die…

Just like… the poem he had written almost a week before. "To die alone," what… sad words; but, what was sadness to someone like Naruto? Especially now? Now that he was out of that sadness… now that someone – or rather something… wanted him? But of course! Naruto wasn't dying alone! His friend Pain was with him! Just like he told himself "His friend and everyone else's enemy"; What Irony! Something he had said was actually coming true!

Was… that a reason that he smiled as well? The never-right was now right! More Irony! But this time, it was the type of irony Naruto wanted. A type of irony that Naruto needed! Wow!! Naruto thought to himself. He *was* right. Irony had now been ironized itself! Something never thought possible!

"Because… this time… T-They… were wrong," Naruto uttered under his breath, "Not me…" His smile grew. Scary as it was… it just became scarier. Happiness wasn't what he felt nor acceptance, just… a fake… sense… of relief. The relief he thought *HE* wanted. A fake sense of relief in a disguise! That disguise was acceptance! What disguise would come next? If the next disguise… was love… what… would happen? But worse! What if that disguise never had the chance to come? If it had the chance to come… then… maybe… his friends could pull him through the door that he was behind; However, if that disguise didn't come… then.... Naruto… would be another person that was once again tricked by death.

Tricked by Death and his right hand man Pain.

Naruto's memories rushed threw his mind. Memories of when Iruka first acknowledged him… memories of when he fought Sasuke… memories of his encounters with Hinata. Were these… really… his memories? How could he have even had memories?

He didn't care though. Today was the day! Today was the day that he would be with his friends Death and Pain. They couldn't have been tricking him… nah! They were so friendly! Look! They accepted him! They gave him what he wanted! Wasn't this enough to prove friendship?

Maybe so…

Naruto smiled as he fell unconscious.

-End Chapter 7-

Oh my goodness! What is wrong with Naruto!? What is happening? Why did blood just out of no where come out? Why isn't anybody there to help him? Will Naruto die? Will Naruto live? How will Naruto's friends react when they find out what happened. Will they see him… once last time? Or will they be able to continue to work him out of his depression. Find out in the Next Chapter!

Remember to read and review people! Hopefully you liked this chapter! It was… shorter then the others… but intentionally written that way because the next chapter will be a special long chapter! A present from me for making you wait so long for this chapter. A lot of questions will be answered in the next chapter.

Peace!