Purple Spotted Hedwig : I know it kinda sucks in 17-18, but I needed to
have these fillers in to make the plot make SOME sense. Thanks for
reviewing, and please continue to read.
angelic_Devilbabe : thanks, that is a real compliment. Please continue to review, because I love reviews!
Lorien : I know, I had to wait to post because I had other things to be doing and I didn`t have time to write, I am sorry!!!
Imperfectionist : I will!
Ickle Ronniekins Girlie!! : Yes, that kind of stuff bugged me in other stories, so I decided not to include it.
Angel of Flames : I will update. . . NOW~ Please review! =D
Blueamber : lol, you are a very interesting person. =D Please read more! I enjoy your reviews.
LP Draconis : Wow, I can`t believe all of the compliments I have been getting. Please continue to read and I hope you enjoy it.
Whatevachick : lol, thanks.
Neko the Hanyou : here`s what happens
Orliangel : Thanks for the complments, please continue to read.
Angel125 : I will, I will, I will!
Freakyfairy : Nooo, please don`t be jealous, I don`t like jealousy. Have fun at your camp and review when you return!!
Chintamani : Here`s mo-er-er-er.
Tabii : Thank you, and here`s the next part.
Sirius`sgurl : yes, I know.
Cherryplum11 : =D, crying huh? And don`t worry about not reviewing, I am used to not having billions of reviews, although when I opened my inbox two weeks ago and had 11 messages, that was pretty cool. ;) I am the updating queen!!!
Darkmoon of Shadows : Thanks for the compliments, and I`ll try not to rush.
I would like to apologize for taking so long to update, my friend from Japan came and we had to get my friend from Montana back here where she lives so that she could see my friend from Japan, and then we had to go to another state, so everything was crazy.
I am back now, although it may take me two days to update next time.
Read and enjoy!
~+~
I have a problem . . . I am trying to satisfy everyone, and everyone wants something completely different to happen in the story, and I am trying to follow my storyline, so try to not be so forceful with your suggestions, because my story line has been altered many times already, and I am going to try to stick to my original routine from now on, but if you need to, I advise you to suggest anyway. I can handle it.
Please don`t leave me, and please review!
~+~
Chapter 17
Eventually someone found Hermione, curled up in a heap on the ground, and they brought her to the hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey healed her broken wrist, vanished her scratches and faded her bruises, but there was nothing that she could do to change the emptiness that she felt in her heart.
It seemed like just yesterday she had been in her dad`s arms, laughing with him, talking to him, and now all of that had been stolen from her in one instant. Why did it have to be her? Out of the billions of people on the earth, it had to be her that lost her father.
Closing her eyes, she could almost see his smiling face at their summer party. He had thrown a super huge party the year after she had come home after her first year at Hogwarts. None of the people had showed up, so the three of them had used everything themselves and ate all of the food that her mother had prepared together. It was the best summer she had ever had.
Then she remembered after her second year, she had come home and Ron had turned beet red when her father had suggested that he liked Hermione, and he hadn`t let her forget it all summer. He teased her about having secret boyfriends and told her, very seriously, that he didn`t want to be a grandparent.
Sadly, Hermione realized that he never would be. She shook her head and told her brain to remember more happy times, to clear her mind of these horrible thoughts that plagued her.
After her third year her father and mother had taken her on a vacation to the theme park for a few days, and her father had agreed to ride the rides even though he hated heights and going upside down, he had said that he didn`t want some strange guy sitting with his `Mione.
Hermione sighed. When her father called her `Mione, she felt this wonderful feeling in her stomach and heart, but when Ron or Harry called her `Mione, she didn`t feel anything. It was a meaningless name when they said it.
Then her world had fallen apart. In her fourth year she had found out that her father had cancer and she had panicked. Her father had told her that it would probably be alright, but look how that turned out.
He was dead, and she knew it. She couldn`t believe it though, no matter how many times she heard it, it couldn`t be true. There was no way that she was ready to believe it, so she refused to.
She still hadn`t finished reading the letter that had been sent to her, she was also afraid of that. What if it told her something that she didn`t want to know? What if it confirmed her fears?
Up until now, Hermione was still telling herself that it wasn`t true, that her father wasn`t dead and that she was going to see him when school was over in a couple of months, happy as a clam (A/N: why is that a saying anyway? Isn`t it kinda stupid? How do we know a clam is happy?) and healthy too.
Yet, even as she thought it, she knew that it was untrue. In her mind he was dead, and in her heart he was dying. She was losing all of the hope she had ever had that he would get better and she was losing the faith in everything that she had believed in. Love hadn`t saved him, so what good was love?
Hermione had vast mood swings too. One minute she would be sad, the next she would be ominously angry. Her tears mingled with sweat and confusion, creating a look of chaos around Hermione that wouldn`t go away. She looked like she had exploded on the outside, and she felt like she had exploded on the inside.
She then felt a spontaneous and irrational rush of anger toward her father. It was all his fault that he was dead, and Hermione was sticking to this theory, for the time being.
Why hadn`t he let them use magic to cure the cancer? Why couldn`t he have let himself be cured? Did he like having the natural curse on him, knowing that it would kill him? Did he know how much it would hurt everyone else when he died? Why hadn`t he thought about what it would do to the people that he left behind when he wasn`t here anymore? Didn`t he care about what it would do to his daughter and wife?
Hermione felt more tears escape her eyes as she thought about her father. Her feelings were welling up inside of her to the boiling point. She needed to talk to someone and let her feelings, but there was only one slight problem with this need.
Nobody knew that he father was dead.
She hadn`t told anyone, and the only people that knew her father had even been sick were Harry and Ron, and even they probably forgot, because she had only mentioned something once. And the truth was, she wasn`t as comfortable around them anymore. Harry stuttered and stumbled through everything that he said to her, and Ron had a new girlfriend, so he was hardly around without her clinging to his arm like her pitiful life depended on it.
Hermione felt left behind when she saw them, both laughing over something in Quiddich, kissing their girlfriends, slapping each other on the back. She was always their `gal pal` in first, second, third, and fourth year, but now, they were beginning to grow apart more than any of them had wanted, and it was becoming obvious that they were different than her.
She was the girl, they thought that she was over emotional and if she tried to tell them that nothing was wrong they would see her tears and blame it on ``that time of the month`` which had earned Ron a smack on the head the last time he brought it up. She didn`t think that it was fair for Ron blamed everything on the fact that she was a girl, because it wasn`t just that.
Hermione sighed and turned a page in a book that she was reading and glared at the figure across from her, just to keep things friendly.
Draco Malfoy sat across from her, and they were both doing their assignment for Professor Dumbledore together, although they had both objected, she had pointed out that they were supposed to be doing it and that they needed to find out why he had been ``sucked`` into the book, and he had skived off the topic fairly quickly and had agreed to work.
Hermione was still nervous about the job they had been given. What was Dumbledore having them do, and why did it have to do with time reversals and other such things. Weren`t those kind of things dangerous?
And why did she have to work with Draco Malfoy of all people?
Tears were silently sliding out of her eyes even as she tried to research, so she tried to hide her face behind her book at all times, but sometimes she had to move or put down the book, and she hoped that Malfoy couldn`t see her face, not that he would want to, because she didn`t want to have to talk to him.
The tears wouldn`t stop and Hermione couldn`t wipe them because then Malfoy would be bound to notice and she didn`t want to talk to anyone about her father`s death ever in her life. It was going to be her little secret that she kept inside. She didn`t think that she COULD talk if she wanted to.
Sighing to herself, Hermione made a note to herself to make sure that he didn`t see her tearstained face and all would be fine.
~+~
Fifteen minutes later, he noticed.
``Mudblood, why are you crying?``
``Because I have to work with you.`` she said sarcastically as she tried to make him decide to go back to his work and leave her alone. She didn`t want to talk to anyone right now.
``Seriously.`` he said, and Hermione was beginning to feel confused. Why did he suddenly care now? He had always been looking for a reason to annoy her or hurt her emotionally, so why wasn`t he now? Wasn`t that his ultimate goal in life, to make hers miserable?
``It`s nothing.`` she muttered, and went back to writing notes from the book that she had been reading before.
Malfoy continued trying to make her talk, and she was sure that if he tried much longer that she would break down. Then she would end up spilling her deepest secrets, and she didn`t want to do that.
Hermione slammed her book shut and stood up as she stormed down the corridor. She couldn`t stay around him, because then she would spill and that was the last thing that she wanted to happen right now.
She stopped and leaned against the wall. He stood in front of her look/glaring at her, she couldn`t tell which.
``Why can`t you leave me be?``
``Because you grow on people.`` he said, and she started to smile.
``So does cancer.`` Hermione felt anger well up inside of her. She turned and ran down the hall, shooting death looks at him all the way.
How could he say something so horrid? So vial? So. . . earth shattering.
She was practically running down the hall, and she could hear that Draco was keeping up with no problem at all. Hermione sighed exasperatedly. She wanted to get away, and here he was, chasing her.
``LEAVE ME ALONE!`` she screamed at him, but he wouldn`t listen. He seemed to be set on following her, so she tried to lose him by taking the craziest route, but he stayed behind her the whole time.
Hermione shoved the portrait open without saying the password and fled into the common room of the Advanced Transfiguration room. She was running up the stairs now, and she felt someone grab her sleeve and pull her back.
``Whaaaat?`` she said in a voice that could be compared to a whine.
``You need to talk to someone.`` he said, and she rolled her eyes. What did he know anyway?
``Yeah, and I`m gonna choose YOU of all people to talk to. Nice meeting you in your dream world, can I come back to earth, or am I stuck on Moron-utopia?``
``I don`t care who you talk to, but you`re going to talk to someone, or you`re going to explode.`` So he noticed too? She thought that she was the only person that could predict when she would explode, obviously that wasn`t the case if he could tell too though.
``If I talk to you, will you leave me alone?`` she asked. She was going to feed him some lies and tell him to take a hike, and she wouldn`t have to tell anyone anything that she didn`t want to.
``Yeah, `Mione.`` he said. Hermione wasn`t sure whether he had said that on accident or on purpose, but either way it made her heart melt. She had the same feeling as the one that she got when her father had used to say her name that way. She felt like the dam had been broken. Words flooded from her mouth before she could stop them.
``I need someone. I know I need someone, but there isn`t anyone for me. I need to fill this hole in my heart, this gaping rip that tore me in half.`` Malfoy gave her an inquisitive look, as though he were completely confused.
``M-Draco, my dad died.`` she whispered, and she wasn`t prepared for what happened next. Instead of the usual sneer that flanked his face, Malfoy was looking at her with grey eyes that were no longer cold as slate, but reminded her of the receding storm, and his face showed concern and sympathy - two things that she had never imagined a Malfoy would be able to express.
He wasn`t speaking, but his mouth made an `O`.
``I miss my daddy.`` Hermione whispered, and she sounded like a lost three-year-old girl that was in need of something. She saw herself reflected in his eyes, and she looked pitiful and young. His eyes were searching her face for some hint of sarcasm or something that would prove that she was lying.
``I. . . um . . . `` he sputtered, trying to speak, but obviously at a major loss for words.
``I don`t do alone too well.`` she said in a voice barely above a whisper as more tears welled up inside her eyes.
Hermione felt so alone right now, her mother was out of the country visiting relatives and preparing the funeral, leaving Hermione alone in the castle that she felt that she could no longer call home.
Hermione was now beginning to wonder whether it would be easier to seek release. If she were to die, she would leave the pain behind, nobody would have to feel the pain and she would be happy with her father.
Her mother wouldn`t have to worry about supporting her without her father`s income, so she would be free to live her life how she wanted, and her mother could date again without the ``string`` attached. She wouldn`t have any children, and that would make more men want to date her. She was attractive, she would be able to start a new life.
Apparently she had voiced this thought out loud, because Draco placed his hand over her mouth to stop her from talking.
``Don`t say that, you know it wouldn`t help anything.`` Draco told her. ``You need to be here for you mother when she needs to talk to someone.``
``I can`t believe that he`s just. . . dead. . .``
``Do not stand on my grave and weep,`` Draco said, and Hermione gave him a funny look, but he continued.
``I am not there, I do not sleep,
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on the snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumns rain.`` Hermione smiled slightly as she listened to Draco talk. She was intrigued by the way that he spoke and how he somehow made the words seem to be words that he was speaking off of the top of his head, but she knew the poem from elsewere.
``When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush,
Of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft starshine at night.`` Hermione watched Draco talk, and the words somehow were having a calming effect on her, she felt better as she listened to him speaking.
``Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.`` Hermione smiled for the first time in a few days, and she couldn`t believe how foreign it seemed on her face.
``Imortality, by Robert Hepburn.`` she whispered. ``Thanks, Draco.`` a small smile played on his lips, something that she never saw, but distinctly enjoyed.
``Welcome, `Mione.`` Obviously he didn`t know what effect this would have on her, because she felt tears welling up in her eyes again, and a look of distress crossed Draco`s face.
Somehow, neither of them knew exactly how, Draco was hugging Hermione, and she was sobbing uncontrollably into the shoulders of his robes. It didn`t matter that he was a Slytherin and she was a Gryffindor, it didn`t matter that they hated each other during the typical school day, because right now, one was broken and the other was trying to fix it.
It scared Hermione when she realized that she liked where she was. She liked being in Draco`s arms, and she never wanted the moment to end.
She felt safe in his arms.
~+~
Something that included Malfoy could not last however, and after a few minutes, Hermione had calmed down and she had been summoned to do some duty or other, taking her away from Malfoy, and making her wonder whether he had truly been trying to make her feel better.
Through the day, Hermione had this strange feeling in her mind and she couldn`t shake it, but she couldn`t identify it either.
Shaking the thoughts for now, Hermione went to her classes.
~+~
A/N: So, what do you think? I am having trouble writing, because I don`t know who to try to satisfy!!!
Please don`t be too mean~
--Saquoia--
angelic_Devilbabe : thanks, that is a real compliment. Please continue to review, because I love reviews!
Lorien : I know, I had to wait to post because I had other things to be doing and I didn`t have time to write, I am sorry!!!
Imperfectionist : I will!
Ickle Ronniekins Girlie!! : Yes, that kind of stuff bugged me in other stories, so I decided not to include it.
Angel of Flames : I will update. . . NOW~ Please review! =D
Blueamber : lol, you are a very interesting person. =D Please read more! I enjoy your reviews.
LP Draconis : Wow, I can`t believe all of the compliments I have been getting. Please continue to read and I hope you enjoy it.
Whatevachick : lol, thanks.
Neko the Hanyou : here`s what happens
Orliangel : Thanks for the complments, please continue to read.
Angel125 : I will, I will, I will!
Freakyfairy : Nooo, please don`t be jealous, I don`t like jealousy. Have fun at your camp and review when you return!!
Chintamani : Here`s mo-er-er-er.
Tabii : Thank you, and here`s the next part.
Sirius`sgurl : yes, I know.
Cherryplum11 : =D, crying huh? And don`t worry about not reviewing, I am used to not having billions of reviews, although when I opened my inbox two weeks ago and had 11 messages, that was pretty cool. ;) I am the updating queen!!!
Darkmoon of Shadows : Thanks for the compliments, and I`ll try not to rush.
I would like to apologize for taking so long to update, my friend from Japan came and we had to get my friend from Montana back here where she lives so that she could see my friend from Japan, and then we had to go to another state, so everything was crazy.
I am back now, although it may take me two days to update next time.
Read and enjoy!
~+~
I have a problem . . . I am trying to satisfy everyone, and everyone wants something completely different to happen in the story, and I am trying to follow my storyline, so try to not be so forceful with your suggestions, because my story line has been altered many times already, and I am going to try to stick to my original routine from now on, but if you need to, I advise you to suggest anyway. I can handle it.
Please don`t leave me, and please review!
~+~
Chapter 17
Eventually someone found Hermione, curled up in a heap on the ground, and they brought her to the hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey healed her broken wrist, vanished her scratches and faded her bruises, but there was nothing that she could do to change the emptiness that she felt in her heart.
It seemed like just yesterday she had been in her dad`s arms, laughing with him, talking to him, and now all of that had been stolen from her in one instant. Why did it have to be her? Out of the billions of people on the earth, it had to be her that lost her father.
Closing her eyes, she could almost see his smiling face at their summer party. He had thrown a super huge party the year after she had come home after her first year at Hogwarts. None of the people had showed up, so the three of them had used everything themselves and ate all of the food that her mother had prepared together. It was the best summer she had ever had.
Then she remembered after her second year, she had come home and Ron had turned beet red when her father had suggested that he liked Hermione, and he hadn`t let her forget it all summer. He teased her about having secret boyfriends and told her, very seriously, that he didn`t want to be a grandparent.
Sadly, Hermione realized that he never would be. She shook her head and told her brain to remember more happy times, to clear her mind of these horrible thoughts that plagued her.
After her third year her father and mother had taken her on a vacation to the theme park for a few days, and her father had agreed to ride the rides even though he hated heights and going upside down, he had said that he didn`t want some strange guy sitting with his `Mione.
Hermione sighed. When her father called her `Mione, she felt this wonderful feeling in her stomach and heart, but when Ron or Harry called her `Mione, she didn`t feel anything. It was a meaningless name when they said it.
Then her world had fallen apart. In her fourth year she had found out that her father had cancer and she had panicked. Her father had told her that it would probably be alright, but look how that turned out.
He was dead, and she knew it. She couldn`t believe it though, no matter how many times she heard it, it couldn`t be true. There was no way that she was ready to believe it, so she refused to.
She still hadn`t finished reading the letter that had been sent to her, she was also afraid of that. What if it told her something that she didn`t want to know? What if it confirmed her fears?
Up until now, Hermione was still telling herself that it wasn`t true, that her father wasn`t dead and that she was going to see him when school was over in a couple of months, happy as a clam (A/N: why is that a saying anyway? Isn`t it kinda stupid? How do we know a clam is happy?) and healthy too.
Yet, even as she thought it, she knew that it was untrue. In her mind he was dead, and in her heart he was dying. She was losing all of the hope she had ever had that he would get better and she was losing the faith in everything that she had believed in. Love hadn`t saved him, so what good was love?
Hermione had vast mood swings too. One minute she would be sad, the next she would be ominously angry. Her tears mingled with sweat and confusion, creating a look of chaos around Hermione that wouldn`t go away. She looked like she had exploded on the outside, and she felt like she had exploded on the inside.
She then felt a spontaneous and irrational rush of anger toward her father. It was all his fault that he was dead, and Hermione was sticking to this theory, for the time being.
Why hadn`t he let them use magic to cure the cancer? Why couldn`t he have let himself be cured? Did he like having the natural curse on him, knowing that it would kill him? Did he know how much it would hurt everyone else when he died? Why hadn`t he thought about what it would do to the people that he left behind when he wasn`t here anymore? Didn`t he care about what it would do to his daughter and wife?
Hermione felt more tears escape her eyes as she thought about her father. Her feelings were welling up inside of her to the boiling point. She needed to talk to someone and let her feelings, but there was only one slight problem with this need.
Nobody knew that he father was dead.
She hadn`t told anyone, and the only people that knew her father had even been sick were Harry and Ron, and even they probably forgot, because she had only mentioned something once. And the truth was, she wasn`t as comfortable around them anymore. Harry stuttered and stumbled through everything that he said to her, and Ron had a new girlfriend, so he was hardly around without her clinging to his arm like her pitiful life depended on it.
Hermione felt left behind when she saw them, both laughing over something in Quiddich, kissing their girlfriends, slapping each other on the back. She was always their `gal pal` in first, second, third, and fourth year, but now, they were beginning to grow apart more than any of them had wanted, and it was becoming obvious that they were different than her.
She was the girl, they thought that she was over emotional and if she tried to tell them that nothing was wrong they would see her tears and blame it on ``that time of the month`` which had earned Ron a smack on the head the last time he brought it up. She didn`t think that it was fair for Ron blamed everything on the fact that she was a girl, because it wasn`t just that.
Hermione sighed and turned a page in a book that she was reading and glared at the figure across from her, just to keep things friendly.
Draco Malfoy sat across from her, and they were both doing their assignment for Professor Dumbledore together, although they had both objected, she had pointed out that they were supposed to be doing it and that they needed to find out why he had been ``sucked`` into the book, and he had skived off the topic fairly quickly and had agreed to work.
Hermione was still nervous about the job they had been given. What was Dumbledore having them do, and why did it have to do with time reversals and other such things. Weren`t those kind of things dangerous?
And why did she have to work with Draco Malfoy of all people?
Tears were silently sliding out of her eyes even as she tried to research, so she tried to hide her face behind her book at all times, but sometimes she had to move or put down the book, and she hoped that Malfoy couldn`t see her face, not that he would want to, because she didn`t want to have to talk to him.
The tears wouldn`t stop and Hermione couldn`t wipe them because then Malfoy would be bound to notice and she didn`t want to talk to anyone about her father`s death ever in her life. It was going to be her little secret that she kept inside. She didn`t think that she COULD talk if she wanted to.
Sighing to herself, Hermione made a note to herself to make sure that he didn`t see her tearstained face and all would be fine.
~+~
Fifteen minutes later, he noticed.
``Mudblood, why are you crying?``
``Because I have to work with you.`` she said sarcastically as she tried to make him decide to go back to his work and leave her alone. She didn`t want to talk to anyone right now.
``Seriously.`` he said, and Hermione was beginning to feel confused. Why did he suddenly care now? He had always been looking for a reason to annoy her or hurt her emotionally, so why wasn`t he now? Wasn`t that his ultimate goal in life, to make hers miserable?
``It`s nothing.`` she muttered, and went back to writing notes from the book that she had been reading before.
Malfoy continued trying to make her talk, and she was sure that if he tried much longer that she would break down. Then she would end up spilling her deepest secrets, and she didn`t want to do that.
Hermione slammed her book shut and stood up as she stormed down the corridor. She couldn`t stay around him, because then she would spill and that was the last thing that she wanted to happen right now.
She stopped and leaned against the wall. He stood in front of her look/glaring at her, she couldn`t tell which.
``Why can`t you leave me be?``
``Because you grow on people.`` he said, and she started to smile.
``So does cancer.`` Hermione felt anger well up inside of her. She turned and ran down the hall, shooting death looks at him all the way.
How could he say something so horrid? So vial? So. . . earth shattering.
She was practically running down the hall, and she could hear that Draco was keeping up with no problem at all. Hermione sighed exasperatedly. She wanted to get away, and here he was, chasing her.
``LEAVE ME ALONE!`` she screamed at him, but he wouldn`t listen. He seemed to be set on following her, so she tried to lose him by taking the craziest route, but he stayed behind her the whole time.
Hermione shoved the portrait open without saying the password and fled into the common room of the Advanced Transfiguration room. She was running up the stairs now, and she felt someone grab her sleeve and pull her back.
``Whaaaat?`` she said in a voice that could be compared to a whine.
``You need to talk to someone.`` he said, and she rolled her eyes. What did he know anyway?
``Yeah, and I`m gonna choose YOU of all people to talk to. Nice meeting you in your dream world, can I come back to earth, or am I stuck on Moron-utopia?``
``I don`t care who you talk to, but you`re going to talk to someone, or you`re going to explode.`` So he noticed too? She thought that she was the only person that could predict when she would explode, obviously that wasn`t the case if he could tell too though.
``If I talk to you, will you leave me alone?`` she asked. She was going to feed him some lies and tell him to take a hike, and she wouldn`t have to tell anyone anything that she didn`t want to.
``Yeah, `Mione.`` he said. Hermione wasn`t sure whether he had said that on accident or on purpose, but either way it made her heart melt. She had the same feeling as the one that she got when her father had used to say her name that way. She felt like the dam had been broken. Words flooded from her mouth before she could stop them.
``I need someone. I know I need someone, but there isn`t anyone for me. I need to fill this hole in my heart, this gaping rip that tore me in half.`` Malfoy gave her an inquisitive look, as though he were completely confused.
``M-Draco, my dad died.`` she whispered, and she wasn`t prepared for what happened next. Instead of the usual sneer that flanked his face, Malfoy was looking at her with grey eyes that were no longer cold as slate, but reminded her of the receding storm, and his face showed concern and sympathy - two things that she had never imagined a Malfoy would be able to express.
He wasn`t speaking, but his mouth made an `O`.
``I miss my daddy.`` Hermione whispered, and she sounded like a lost three-year-old girl that was in need of something. She saw herself reflected in his eyes, and she looked pitiful and young. His eyes were searching her face for some hint of sarcasm or something that would prove that she was lying.
``I. . . um . . . `` he sputtered, trying to speak, but obviously at a major loss for words.
``I don`t do alone too well.`` she said in a voice barely above a whisper as more tears welled up inside her eyes.
Hermione felt so alone right now, her mother was out of the country visiting relatives and preparing the funeral, leaving Hermione alone in the castle that she felt that she could no longer call home.
Hermione was now beginning to wonder whether it would be easier to seek release. If she were to die, she would leave the pain behind, nobody would have to feel the pain and she would be happy with her father.
Her mother wouldn`t have to worry about supporting her without her father`s income, so she would be free to live her life how she wanted, and her mother could date again without the ``string`` attached. She wouldn`t have any children, and that would make more men want to date her. She was attractive, she would be able to start a new life.
Apparently she had voiced this thought out loud, because Draco placed his hand over her mouth to stop her from talking.
``Don`t say that, you know it wouldn`t help anything.`` Draco told her. ``You need to be here for you mother when she needs to talk to someone.``
``I can`t believe that he`s just. . . dead. . .``
``Do not stand on my grave and weep,`` Draco said, and Hermione gave him a funny look, but he continued.
``I am not there, I do not sleep,
I am a thousand winds that blow,
I am the diamond glints on the snow,
I am the sunlight on ripened grain,
I am the gentle autumns rain.`` Hermione smiled slightly as she listened to Draco talk. She was intrigued by the way that he spoke and how he somehow made the words seem to be words that he was speaking off of the top of his head, but she knew the poem from elsewere.
``When you awaken in the morning's hush,
I am the swift uplifting rush,
Of quiet birds in circled flight,
I am the soft starshine at night.`` Hermione watched Draco talk, and the words somehow were having a calming effect on her, she felt better as she listened to him speaking.
``Do not stand at my grave and cry,
I am not there. I did not die.`` Hermione smiled for the first time in a few days, and she couldn`t believe how foreign it seemed on her face.
``Imortality, by Robert Hepburn.`` she whispered. ``Thanks, Draco.`` a small smile played on his lips, something that she never saw, but distinctly enjoyed.
``Welcome, `Mione.`` Obviously he didn`t know what effect this would have on her, because she felt tears welling up in her eyes again, and a look of distress crossed Draco`s face.
Somehow, neither of them knew exactly how, Draco was hugging Hermione, and she was sobbing uncontrollably into the shoulders of his robes. It didn`t matter that he was a Slytherin and she was a Gryffindor, it didn`t matter that they hated each other during the typical school day, because right now, one was broken and the other was trying to fix it.
It scared Hermione when she realized that she liked where she was. She liked being in Draco`s arms, and she never wanted the moment to end.
She felt safe in his arms.
~+~
Something that included Malfoy could not last however, and after a few minutes, Hermione had calmed down and she had been summoned to do some duty or other, taking her away from Malfoy, and making her wonder whether he had truly been trying to make her feel better.
Through the day, Hermione had this strange feeling in her mind and she couldn`t shake it, but she couldn`t identify it either.
Shaking the thoughts for now, Hermione went to her classes.
~+~
A/N: So, what do you think? I am having trouble writing, because I don`t know who to try to satisfy!!!
Please don`t be too mean~
--Saquoia--