Tortallan Cat in the Hat
The Prat in the Hat
By Dr.'s Kelley and Watson
Characters:
Narrator: Baron George of Pirate's Swoop
Sally: Baroness Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau
Prat in the Hat: King Jonathan of Cont
Fish: Faithful
Mother: Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan
Thing One: Gary
Thing Two: Raoul
The sun did not shine.
It was too wet to play
So we sat in the house
All that cold, cold, wet day.
I sat there with Alanna
We sat there, we two
And I said, "How I wish
We had something to do!"
Too wet to go out
And too cold to play ball
We did nothing at all
So all we could do was to
Sit!
Sit!
Sit!
Sit!
And we did not like it.
Not one little bit.
And then
Something went bump!
How that bump made us jump!
We looked!
Then we saw him step in on the mat!
We looked
And we saw him!
The Prat in the Hat!
And he said to us, "Why do you sit there like that?"
"I know it is wet
And the sun is not sunny.
But we can have
Lots of good fun that is funny!
"I know some good games we could play,"
Said the prat.
"I know some new tricks."
Said the Prat in the Hat.
"A lot of good tricks.
I will show them to you.
Keladry
will not mind at all if I do."
Then 'Lanna and I
Did not know what to say
For dear Kel was out of the house
For the day.
But Faithful said, "No! No!
Make that prat go away!
Tell the Prat in the Hat
You do not want to play.
He should not be here.
He should not be about
He should not be here
When Keladry is out!"
"Now! Now! Have no fear.
Have no fear!" said the prat.
"My tricks are not bad,"
Said the Prat in the Hat.
"Why we can have
lots of good fun, in fact
with a game that I call
up-up-up with a CAT!"
"Put me down!" said Faithful.
"This is not fun at all!
"Put me down!" said our cat.
I do not wish to fall!"
"Have no fear!" said the prat.
"I will not let you fall.
I will hold you up high
As I stand in the hall.
With a scroll in one hand!
And a map on my hat!
But that is not all I can do!
Said the prat...
"Look at me!
Look at me now!" said the prat.
"With a map and a roll
on the top of my hat!
I can hold up two scrolls!
I can hold up the cat!
And a little toy fort!
And some milk in a vat!
And look!
I can hop up and down in the hall!
But that is not all!
Oh, no.
That is not all...
"Look at me!
Look at me!
Look at me NOW!
It is fun to have fun
But you have to know how.
I can hold up the map
And the milk and the roll!
I can hold up these scrolls
And the cat on a bowl!
I can hold the toy fort
And the little toy man!
And look! With my tail
I can hold a red fan!
I can fan with the fan
As I hop in the hall!
But that is not all
Oh, no.
That is not all..."
That is what the prat said…
Then he fell on his head!
He came down with a bump
From there in the hall.
And Alanna and I,
We saw all the things fall!
And our cat came down, too.
He fell in a pot!
He said, "Do I like this?
Oh, no! I do not.
This is not a good game,"
Said our cat as he lit.
"No I do not like it,
Not one little bit!"
"Now look what you did!"
Said the cat to the prat.
"Now look at this house!
Look at this! Look at that!
You broke our toy fort,
You ate our last roll.
You shook up our house
And you smashed our new bowl.
You should not be here
When our Kel is not.
You get out of this house!"
Said the cat in the pot.
"But I like to be here.
Oh, I like it a lot!"
Said the Prat in the Hat
To the cat in the pot.
"I will not go away.
I do not wish to go!
And so" said the Prat in the Hat,
"So
so
so...
I will show you
Another good game that I know!"
And then he ran out.
And, then, fast as a fox,
The Prat in the Hat
Came back in with a box.
A big red wood box.
It was shut with a hook.
"Now look at this trick,"
Said the prat.
"Take a look!"
Then he got up on top
With a tip of his hat.
"I call this game fun-in-a-box,"
Said the prat.
"In this box are two things
I will show you now.
You will like these two things,"
Said the prat with a bow.
"I will pick up the hook.
You will see something new.
Two things. And I call them
Things Gary and Raoul.
These Things will not bite you.
They want to have fun."
Then, out of the box
Came Thing Two and Thing One!
And they ran to us fast.
They said, "How do you do?
Would you like to shake hands
With Things Gary and Raoul?"
And Alanna and I
Did not know what to do.
So we had to shake hands
With Thing One and Thing Two.
We shook their two hands.
But our cat said, "No! No!
Those Things should not be
In this house! Make them go!
"They should not be here
When Keladry is not!
Put them out! Put them out!"
Said the cat in the pot.
"Have no fear, little cat,"
Said the Prat in the Hat.
"These Things are good Things."
And he gave them a pat.
"They are tame. Oh, so tame!
They have come here to play.
They will give you some fun
On this wet, wet, wet day."
"Now, here is a game that they like,"
Said the prat.
"They like to sword fight,"
Said the Prat in the Hat.
"No! Not in the house!"
Said the cat in the pot.
"They should not sword fight
In a house! They should not.
Oh, the things they will bump!
Oh, the things they will hit!
Oh, I do not like it!
Not one little bit!"
Then Alanna and I
Saw them run down the hall.
We saw those two Things
Bump their swords on the wall!
Bump! Thump! Thump! Bump!
Down the wall in the hall.
Thing Two and Thing One!
They ran up! They ran down!
On the hilt of one sword
We saw Mother's new gown!
Her gown with the dots
That are pink, white and red.
Then we saw one sword bump
On the head of her bed!
Then those Things ran about
With big bumps, jumps and kicks
And with hops and big thumps
And all kinds of bad tricks.
And I said,
"I do not like the way that they play!
If Kel could see this,
Oh, what would she say!"
Then our cat said, "Look! Look!"
And our cat shook with fear.
"Kel is on her way home!
Do you hear?
Oh, what will she do to us?
What will she say?
Oh, she will not like it
To find us this way!"
"So, do something! Fast!" said the cat.
"Do you hear!
I saw her. Kel!
Keladry is near!
So, as fast as you can,
Think of something to do!
You will have to get rid of
Things Gary and Raoul!"
So, as fast as I could,
I went after my net.
And I said, "With my net
I can get them I bet.
I bet, with my net,
I can get those Things yet!"
Then I let down my net.
It came down with a plop!
And I had them! At last!
Those Things had to stop.
Then I said to the prat,
"Now you do as I say.
You pack up those Things
And you take them away!"
"Oh dear!" said the prat.
"You did not like our game...
Oh dear.
What a shame!
What a shame!
What a shame!"
Then he shut up the Things
In the box with the hook.
And the prat went away
With a sad kind of look.
"That is good," said the cat.
"He has gone away. Yes.
But Keladry will come.
She will find this big mess!
And this mess is so big
And so deep and so tall,
We can not pick it up.
There is no way at all!"
And then!
Who was back in the house?
Why, the prat!
"Have no fear of this mess,"
Said the Prat in the Hat.
"I always pick up all my playthings
And so...
I will show you another
Good trick that I know!"
Then we saw him pick up
All the things that were down.
He picked up the roll,
And the bowl, and the gown,
And the milk, and the swords,
And the scrolls, and the vat,
And the fan, and the cup,
And the fort, and the cat.
And he put them away.
Then he said, "That is that."
And then he was gone
With a tip of his hat.
Then Kel came in
And she said to us two,
"Did you have any fun?
Tell me. What did you do?
And Alanna and I did not know
What to say.
Should we tell her
The things that went on there that day?
Should we tell her about it?
Now, what should we do?
Well...
What would you do
If Keladry asked you?