Act III
James stood with the doctor in the hospital hallway. They had been discussing several conditions for Mary's stay at home and filling out several forms. James glanced at two orderlies who stepped into Mary's room and noted one of them bringing along a wheelchair. He peered into the room and watched as they lifted Mary's body from the bed and into the chair, covering the lower half of her body with a heavy blanket. They placed her in front of the window and left the room, leaving Mary by herself.
"Well, Mr. Sunderland, here we are," the doctor said as he glanced at a chart. "Everything is set for Mary's trip home. Couldn't have planned a more beautiful day for it, right?"
James nodded as he looked at Mary in her chair.
"Do we have a date yet? How long?"
"Well, looking at these charts, it is my educated guess that she will have about two days left. I would recommend taking special care of her. You should see to her as often as you can. She will need help eating, but feed her liquids only. I feel she does not have the strength to eat a full meal."
"I understand. I thought as much and got soups at the store earlier this morning." James smiled softly. "She always liked chicken and stars."
The doctor smiled back at him and gripped his shoulder. "She'll enjoy that, I'm sure. Make sure she gets plenty to eat and make sure she is comfortable. These final days may be uncomfortable for Mary. It is our hope that she will go peacefully in her sleep."
"What if she doesn't 'go peacefully?'"
"Well...we are afraid of her having another coughing fit. With her in such a weak state, I wouldn't expect her to deal with it. Such a strong fit of coughing could kill her too."
James slumped against the wall, looking at the floor.
"Mr. Sunderland, James, focus on her right now. Make her happy as best you can."
"I will. I can promise you that."
"On behalf of the entire staff who cared for Mary, I want to tell you that we are sorry. We wished we could have done more. Those who attended to her cared for her and loved her. It will be hard on them to know of her passing. I wish there was more we could do."
James took the doctor's hand in his own, gripping it tightly. "Thank you, doctor. I know we have both been down a long, hard road. You've done all you could. I thank you for that."
James released the doctor's hand, who nodded and walked down the hall. James stepped into Mary's room and walked over to the wheelchair. He knelt down and took her hand in his own. She was still wearing her peach colored pajamas.
"Mary?"
"Not long now, is it James?'
"Mary."
"You're here to take me home?"
"Yes, we are going to have a nice time together, just you and me."
Mary sat silently, taking her hand out of James' grip. She placed her hands in her lap and hung her head. Her face still retained the blotchy and blistered look. It broke James' heart to see that. He got to his feet and took Mary's bag from the bed, grabbed the fabric handles and then moved behind the wheelchair, taking the two plastic handles in his hands. He pulled the chair out of the room and gently rolled Mary down the hallway towards the elevator. When they reached the lobby, James nodded to the nurse at the reception desk who watched with sad, teary eyes as James wheeled Mary towards the exit.
When he reached his car, James opened the passenger door and walked over to Mary. He gently lifted her from the wheelchair and placed her on the dark car seat. He covered her with the hospital blanket and shut the door. Folding up the wheelchair, he quickly put it in the trunk along with Mary's small bag, slamming the trunk shut before climbing into the front seat. He smiled at Mary as he placed the key into the ignition.
"Ready?"
"Did you see how they looked at me, James?
"What are you talking about?"
"Those people," Maria looked out her window, her hands folded neatly in her lap. "They see me as a monster. I am a monster."
"No...no, Mary. You're not a monster."
"How can you say that? Have you even looked at me? Look at me James!" She stared at him, the fire in her eyes again.
"Mary...I don't care how you look."
Mary scoffed. "What a lie. You've seen all the beautiful people in the hospital. What makes you stay with me? You don't want a monster for a wife."
"I want you, Mary. You're not a monster."
"Just take me home, James. Like it even matters anymore."
James turned the ignition, causing the car to shake softly. He pulled out and left the hospital parking lot for the last time. It took a longer amount of time to reach their apartment because of heavy traffic. When they finally arrived, James parked his car and took out the bag and wheelchair from the trunk, unfolding it next to the passenger side of the car. Gently lifting Mary out of the car, he carefully set her down and covered her up. James guided Mary inside the apartment building and to the elevator. James couldn't help but remember when Eileen took him to her place. James' building was definitely nicer than that of Eileen's. He wondered what she would think of him in a place like this. Perhaps she would want to stay with him. She was a beautiful woman.
"James? What are you waiting for?" Mary asked. James was so deep in thought about Eileen that he didn't realize the elevator was open and waiting for them. He apologized to Mary and pushed the chair in the elevator. The elevator had red carpeting and was lined by brass-colored mirrors. James closed his eyes and prepared for the inevitable. Mary then began to cry.
"I'm so sorry, James."
James made a "shushing" sound as he gently stroked her hair. When the elevator finished its ascent, he continued to wheel Mary to their room. Mary and James shared a very nice apartment which had a spacious living room and dining room that had been eloquently furnished by Mary when they first moved in. At the far end of the living room was a set of large doors that led to a medium-sized balcony. James pushed the wheelchair in the center of the living room and left Mary there while he shut the door and placed Mary's bag in the kitchen.
"Mary? Are you hungry? I bought some chicken and stars. You like that."
"Not right now, James. Take me to the balcony."
James rushed over to her and pushed the wheelchair towards the double doors, opening them before pushing Mary outside. The air was cool and the wind blew threw Mary's hair, she shivered briefly before James wrapped her with a blanket. He moved a lawn chair next to Mary and sat, watching her, his heart in pain at the sight before him.
"James. It's right about what they say."
"Say what, Mary?"
"Life is made even more beautiful when you know you're going to die."
"Mary, no...."
"Yes, James. Knowing that you're never going to see everyday things. Knowing that you'll never feel the caress of a gentle breeze across your face. Never feel the warmth of spring." Mary began to cry silently, the tears falling from her blotchy eyes. "Why must it be me, James? What have I done? Why must this happen?"
James took Mary's hands, his eyes beginning to well up with tears. "I don't know, Mary. You don't deserve this, I understand how you feel."
"You could never understand how I feel, James. You will not have to worry about your time for many years. I'm dying now, James. You'll die later. You couldn't possibly know how I feel."
Mary sat in her wheelchair, crying quietly. James felt so helpless, he couldn't believe that there was nothing he could do. He was powerless, unable to do anything except watch his wife's life waste away. Nothing to prevent the fact that he could wake up tomorrow morning and find her lifeless body. He wiped his tears away and cleared his throat.
"Mary, what can I do for you now? There must be something."
"Love me, James," Mary whispered as she looked at her husband. Her space around her eyes looked inflamed. Her blotchy and blistering face appeared to have a rough texture under the light of the sun. Her lips were still swollen, blistered and discolored. She was in a constant state of slow degeneration. But at that moment, James didn't see that. He could only see the face he fell in love with, the face he would always remember.
"I'll always love you, Mary. Everything I do for you comes from my love for you."
James and Mary spent an hour on the balcony, taking in the cool afternoon. The highlight for both of them had been watching the sunset. Mary cried as the sun sank, declaring it to be the most beautiful thing she had ever gotten the opportunity to witness. James took his wife inside the apartment and pushed her towards the dining room table. He placed candles on the oak tabletop and lit them before moving into the kitchen and preparing a small dinner for Mary. James entered the room several minutes later with a bowl of soup in his hands. Sitting to her side, James slowly and gently began to feed the soup to her, allowing Mary to feed herself several spoonfuls. Filling another bowl for himself in the kitchen, James enjoyed the quiet meal with his wife. When James accidentally spilled a spoonful of warm liquid on his shirt, Mary let out a soft laugh.
"You are the only person in this country who has trouble with soup, James." Mary took James' spoon and dipped it into her bowl. James laughed as he dabbed a napkin on the wet spot on his shirt. He leaned towards Mary as she presented him with a soup-filled spoon. The couple shared this moment of peace and happiness together, ignoring for the briefest of moments that it would be their last.
After the meal, Mary told James that she was feeling sleepy and would like to lie down in their bed. He picked her up gently in his arms and carried her across the apartment to their bedroom. He smiled at her and she smiled softly back at him.
"This is familiar isn't it, Mary?"
"Yes, James. Carry me over the threshold again."
James took her into their bedroom and gently placed her on the soft mattress. Mary let out a soft sigh as she relaxed on top of the large, soft bed. She turned to face him and whispered.
"Stay with me, James."
"Yes, Mary. I'll be right here."
James sat in a cushioned chair, pulling it close to the bed. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs, his clasped hands under his chin. He watched as his dying wife closed her eyes halfway, her chest slowly moving up and down with each breath. James couldn't stand this, he couldn't stand the feeling of utter helplessness. There had to be something he could do, something to ease her suffering, some way to kill the pain of death. James thought for several moments, watching his wife sleep, her head resting softly on the pillow. James watched her as he developed an idea. A sure-fire way to ease his wife's terrible suffering forever and finally bring her peace.
James stood with the doctor in the hospital hallway. They had been discussing several conditions for Mary's stay at home and filling out several forms. James glanced at two orderlies who stepped into Mary's room and noted one of them bringing along a wheelchair. He peered into the room and watched as they lifted Mary's body from the bed and into the chair, covering the lower half of her body with a heavy blanket. They placed her in front of the window and left the room, leaving Mary by herself.
"Well, Mr. Sunderland, here we are," the doctor said as he glanced at a chart. "Everything is set for Mary's trip home. Couldn't have planned a more beautiful day for it, right?"
James nodded as he looked at Mary in her chair.
"Do we have a date yet? How long?"
"Well, looking at these charts, it is my educated guess that she will have about two days left. I would recommend taking special care of her. You should see to her as often as you can. She will need help eating, but feed her liquids only. I feel she does not have the strength to eat a full meal."
"I understand. I thought as much and got soups at the store earlier this morning." James smiled softly. "She always liked chicken and stars."
The doctor smiled back at him and gripped his shoulder. "She'll enjoy that, I'm sure. Make sure she gets plenty to eat and make sure she is comfortable. These final days may be uncomfortable for Mary. It is our hope that she will go peacefully in her sleep."
"What if she doesn't 'go peacefully?'"
"Well...we are afraid of her having another coughing fit. With her in such a weak state, I wouldn't expect her to deal with it. Such a strong fit of coughing could kill her too."
James slumped against the wall, looking at the floor.
"Mr. Sunderland, James, focus on her right now. Make her happy as best you can."
"I will. I can promise you that."
"On behalf of the entire staff who cared for Mary, I want to tell you that we are sorry. We wished we could have done more. Those who attended to her cared for her and loved her. It will be hard on them to know of her passing. I wish there was more we could do."
James took the doctor's hand in his own, gripping it tightly. "Thank you, doctor. I know we have both been down a long, hard road. You've done all you could. I thank you for that."
James released the doctor's hand, who nodded and walked down the hall. James stepped into Mary's room and walked over to the wheelchair. He knelt down and took her hand in his own. She was still wearing her peach colored pajamas.
"Mary?"
"Not long now, is it James?'
"Mary."
"You're here to take me home?"
"Yes, we are going to have a nice time together, just you and me."
Mary sat silently, taking her hand out of James' grip. She placed her hands in her lap and hung her head. Her face still retained the blotchy and blistered look. It broke James' heart to see that. He got to his feet and took Mary's bag from the bed, grabbed the fabric handles and then moved behind the wheelchair, taking the two plastic handles in his hands. He pulled the chair out of the room and gently rolled Mary down the hallway towards the elevator. When they reached the lobby, James nodded to the nurse at the reception desk who watched with sad, teary eyes as James wheeled Mary towards the exit.
When he reached his car, James opened the passenger door and walked over to Mary. He gently lifted her from the wheelchair and placed her on the dark car seat. He covered her with the hospital blanket and shut the door. Folding up the wheelchair, he quickly put it in the trunk along with Mary's small bag, slamming the trunk shut before climbing into the front seat. He smiled at Mary as he placed the key into the ignition.
"Ready?"
"Did you see how they looked at me, James?
"What are you talking about?"
"Those people," Maria looked out her window, her hands folded neatly in her lap. "They see me as a monster. I am a monster."
"No...no, Mary. You're not a monster."
"How can you say that? Have you even looked at me? Look at me James!" She stared at him, the fire in her eyes again.
"Mary...I don't care how you look."
Mary scoffed. "What a lie. You've seen all the beautiful people in the hospital. What makes you stay with me? You don't want a monster for a wife."
"I want you, Mary. You're not a monster."
"Just take me home, James. Like it even matters anymore."
James turned the ignition, causing the car to shake softly. He pulled out and left the hospital parking lot for the last time. It took a longer amount of time to reach their apartment because of heavy traffic. When they finally arrived, James parked his car and took out the bag and wheelchair from the trunk, unfolding it next to the passenger side of the car. Gently lifting Mary out of the car, he carefully set her down and covered her up. James guided Mary inside the apartment building and to the elevator. James couldn't help but remember when Eileen took him to her place. James' building was definitely nicer than that of Eileen's. He wondered what she would think of him in a place like this. Perhaps she would want to stay with him. She was a beautiful woman.
"James? What are you waiting for?" Mary asked. James was so deep in thought about Eileen that he didn't realize the elevator was open and waiting for them. He apologized to Mary and pushed the chair in the elevator. The elevator had red carpeting and was lined by brass-colored mirrors. James closed his eyes and prepared for the inevitable. Mary then began to cry.
"I'm so sorry, James."
James made a "shushing" sound as he gently stroked her hair. When the elevator finished its ascent, he continued to wheel Mary to their room. Mary and James shared a very nice apartment which had a spacious living room and dining room that had been eloquently furnished by Mary when they first moved in. At the far end of the living room was a set of large doors that led to a medium-sized balcony. James pushed the wheelchair in the center of the living room and left Mary there while he shut the door and placed Mary's bag in the kitchen.
"Mary? Are you hungry? I bought some chicken and stars. You like that."
"Not right now, James. Take me to the balcony."
James rushed over to her and pushed the wheelchair towards the double doors, opening them before pushing Mary outside. The air was cool and the wind blew threw Mary's hair, she shivered briefly before James wrapped her with a blanket. He moved a lawn chair next to Mary and sat, watching her, his heart in pain at the sight before him.
"James. It's right about what they say."
"Say what, Mary?"
"Life is made even more beautiful when you know you're going to die."
"Mary, no...."
"Yes, James. Knowing that you're never going to see everyday things. Knowing that you'll never feel the caress of a gentle breeze across your face. Never feel the warmth of spring." Mary began to cry silently, the tears falling from her blotchy eyes. "Why must it be me, James? What have I done? Why must this happen?"
James took Mary's hands, his eyes beginning to well up with tears. "I don't know, Mary. You don't deserve this, I understand how you feel."
"You could never understand how I feel, James. You will not have to worry about your time for many years. I'm dying now, James. You'll die later. You couldn't possibly know how I feel."
Mary sat in her wheelchair, crying quietly. James felt so helpless, he couldn't believe that there was nothing he could do. He was powerless, unable to do anything except watch his wife's life waste away. Nothing to prevent the fact that he could wake up tomorrow morning and find her lifeless body. He wiped his tears away and cleared his throat.
"Mary, what can I do for you now? There must be something."
"Love me, James," Mary whispered as she looked at her husband. Her space around her eyes looked inflamed. Her blotchy and blistering face appeared to have a rough texture under the light of the sun. Her lips were still swollen, blistered and discolored. She was in a constant state of slow degeneration. But at that moment, James didn't see that. He could only see the face he fell in love with, the face he would always remember.
"I'll always love you, Mary. Everything I do for you comes from my love for you."
James and Mary spent an hour on the balcony, taking in the cool afternoon. The highlight for both of them had been watching the sunset. Mary cried as the sun sank, declaring it to be the most beautiful thing she had ever gotten the opportunity to witness. James took his wife inside the apartment and pushed her towards the dining room table. He placed candles on the oak tabletop and lit them before moving into the kitchen and preparing a small dinner for Mary. James entered the room several minutes later with a bowl of soup in his hands. Sitting to her side, James slowly and gently began to feed the soup to her, allowing Mary to feed herself several spoonfuls. Filling another bowl for himself in the kitchen, James enjoyed the quiet meal with his wife. When James accidentally spilled a spoonful of warm liquid on his shirt, Mary let out a soft laugh.
"You are the only person in this country who has trouble with soup, James." Mary took James' spoon and dipped it into her bowl. James laughed as he dabbed a napkin on the wet spot on his shirt. He leaned towards Mary as she presented him with a soup-filled spoon. The couple shared this moment of peace and happiness together, ignoring for the briefest of moments that it would be their last.
After the meal, Mary told James that she was feeling sleepy and would like to lie down in their bed. He picked her up gently in his arms and carried her across the apartment to their bedroom. He smiled at her and she smiled softly back at him.
"This is familiar isn't it, Mary?"
"Yes, James. Carry me over the threshold again."
James took her into their bedroom and gently placed her on the soft mattress. Mary let out a soft sigh as she relaxed on top of the large, soft bed. She turned to face him and whispered.
"Stay with me, James."
"Yes, Mary. I'll be right here."
James sat in a cushioned chair, pulling it close to the bed. He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his thighs, his clasped hands under his chin. He watched as his dying wife closed her eyes halfway, her chest slowly moving up and down with each breath. James couldn't stand this, he couldn't stand the feeling of utter helplessness. There had to be something he could do, something to ease her suffering, some way to kill the pain of death. James thought for several moments, watching his wife sleep, her head resting softly on the pillow. James watched her as he developed an idea. A sure-fire way to ease his wife's terrible suffering forever and finally bring her peace.